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It was a long day today. Lecture in the morning was alright. Then having to wait 3 hours for the next lesson. Many laughs were being laughed. Then the lesson came and it was a piss take.

Then came another hour wait for my Japanese class. Which we had 2 tests in. 1 I totally screwed up some stuff. The other I totally ballsed. It was like being wolf bagged.

Then me and a mate took a taxi with a random girl back to accommodation. She was either drunk or naturally talkative. Shits and giggles happened in the back seats. Not with her. She was in the front talking away. We laughed quietly saying things I cannot repeat.

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All my tutors fucked off to Paris for a week, so my class is unsupervised.

 

Got to college at 9, went for a cruise in my friend's car till 12, did some stuff, went for another cruise from 1-2:30, went home at 3.

Got tonnes done... :D

 

Then I played Eternal Sonata, and made more pancakes.

I love pancakes.

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Went to a screening of Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas followed by an extensive Q&A with the screenplay writer at Uni. Interesting, but the hall was packed with people, making it all very humid and smelly, really took it out of me over the three hours. God knows what might have been catching in there.

 

There are some media students about who really need to start looking at some soap and deodorant commercials. See what hidden cultural messages they can divine out of those.

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I was curious (bit off topic I suppose) - does n-europe require a translator at all? I could do with frequently practicing the translation of documents/websites and perhaps thought I could be of some use to the folk here? I'm well versed in French and German and could (obviously) therefore translate from those languages into English where necessary? I doubt I'm needed but if something does pop up, let me know as it would be quite beneficial for me!

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I was curious (bit off topic I suppose) - does n-europe require a translator at all? I could do with frequently practicing the translation of documents/websites and perhaps thought I could be of some use to the folk here? I'm well versed in French and German and could (obviously) therefore translate from those languages into English where necessary? I doubt I'm needed but if something does pop up, let me know as it would be quite beneficial for me!

 

Private message Tphi and Tellyn/Nathan about this. They're the head honchos, so it's best to go to them directly.

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Saw TCCoBB which was awesome. Then driving home, as I was coming into my village there was black ice everwhere. Started to brake and it just didn't do anything, car was all over the place, that old chestnut of 'turn IN to the skid' is no good when it's actually happening. Was hurtling towards a road island when I got some traction and managed to stop. I'm all shook up. Whiiiiiskeey (please let someone have seen snuffbox and know what I'm talking about).

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Cheers for the heads-up Flinky, shall do so tomorrow as am poopered right now!

 

Its aaaaalright.

 

Today was pretty ok. I went out for a big meal with one of my best friends, and we were completely stuffed when we got in. Now, in the kitchen, she's bought this tea-maker, where you just press a button and it turns the water (held in a container) from cold to steaming hot. So, I was feeling sleepy after all the food, and I wanted to make a cup of tea before bed.

 

Now, in the kitchen, my friends were getting ready for bed. So, I was talking to them, and re-filled the container, placed it back on its spot, and pressed the button to allow the water to come out. I started pratting about with my mates, and then, I saw my cup right next to her. Then, I just thought "SHIT! I've forgot to put the cup underneath the tea-maker!" My housemates pissed themselves laughing at my sudden realisation.

 

When I turned back to the tea-maker, there was water everywhere, and it was still pumping! So, I had to turn it off, wipe up, put my cup underneath and do it again. I couldn't stop laughing, and I almost felt sick because of the mixture of laughing and food-babies.

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Just been talking to an old uni friend, who was in a sad mood and feeling in a bad place. She called me then I called her. I decided to check my credit before as I've been meaning to see how much talking on the phone actually costs me. Flat on 8 quid. I think that a reasonable starting amount. I ring the lass, talk for 16 mins and my credit is no £3.85, working out at about 25p a minute. That's bullshit surely.

 

But I'm going to go visit her sometime soon I hope. Getting the train to and from Wales is certainly not going to be cheap.

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I pour my fucking heart out, after aiming to get to the bottom of everything, and it ends pretty much back where I started. God knows it's the only thing I'm posting about in here these days but fuck; it's all my mind will let me think about. I can't. let. this. go.

 

And it's driving me fucking crazy. I just want to end this entire fucking saga and get on with my life; and my head won't let me because I was foolish enough to assume that someone might have liked me for who I am for once, that someone may have wanted to fight for me as much as I want to fight for them. I guess not.

 

Time for the screaming pillow again. I fucking hate this.

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Felt really down yesterday evening/night. Still do today. Feel like my life isn't really going anywhere and I might be following the wrong course and have taken some wrong decisions. It's all a bit of a mess and it's bringing me down. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

 

 

Sitting in my Culture Philosophy class and none of my friends have bothered to show up. Actually there's only 13 people in class now (out of about 30 I think). Have 3 and a half hours of nothingness after this class, as I have to wait for a 10 minute talk with a lecturer about a paper. Bah. Not gonna be fun sitting here alone. -____-;

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Feel like my life isn't really going anywhere and I might be following the wrong course and have taken some wrong decisions. It's all a bit of a mess and it's bringing me down. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

Oh, shush! You just passed all your exams, had some of your work published in a magazine, not to mention currently in the running to have some of t-shirt designs publicly displayed, and now suddenly you're not "really going anywhere"? Rubbish, my dear, utter rubbish!

 

If you've made mistakes then learn from them, if you want a change then make it happen, but fretting and regretting won't take you anywhere but down. You've many reasons to bother if you'll stop looking past them in search of an unattainable ideal, so see what you have, not what you don't, and remember this: perfection would be boring!

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I pour my fucking heart out, after aiming to get to the bottom of everything, and it ends pretty much back where I started. God knows it's the only thing I'm posting about in here these days but fuck; it's all my mind will let me think about. I can't. let. this. go.

 

And it's driving me fucking crazy. I just want to end this entire fucking saga and get on with my life; and my head won't let me because I was foolish enough to assume that someone might have liked me for who I am for once, that someone may have wanted to fight for me as much as I want to fight for them. I guess not.

 

Time for the screaming pillow again. I fucking hate this.

 

When it's half 1 in the morning (ie when you posted this) and you feel shit, remember this: things always look better in the morning. Always.

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Oh, shush! You just passed all your exams, had some of your work published in a magazine, not to mention currently in the running to have some of t-shirt designs publicly displayed, and now suddenly you're not "really going anywhere"? Rubbish, my dear, utter rubbish!

 

If you've made mistakes then learn from them, if you want a change then make it happen, but fretting and regretting won't take you anywhere but down. You've many reasons to bother if you'll stop looking past them in search of an unattainable ideal, so see what you have, not what you don't, and remember this: perfection would be boring!

 

My exams won't really help me much in a future job; they're just there because our school needs to hit certain criteria. The drawing that is getting published is the simplest drawing ever, plus my name won't even be in their database (unlike what I thought at first). And the t-shirt thing is probably not going to work out anyway.

 

I just feel like I've lost all motivation for this course, for drawing. In the three years I've been on this course, I feel like I haven't really progressed or learned anything. I'm just sort of stuck in place.

I have to make some important decisions next week that influence what I'll be doing the next two years... but I honestly don't know if I can stand being in school for one or two more years...

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My exams won't really help me much in a future job; they're just there because our school needs to hit certain criteria. The drawing that is getting published is the simplest drawing ever, plus my name won't even be in their database (unlike what I thought at first). And the t-shirt thing is probably not going to work out anyway.

 

I just feel like I've lost all motivation for this course, for drawing. In the three years I've been on this course, I feel like I haven't really progressed or learned anything. I'm just sort of stuck in place.

I have to make some important decisions next week that influence what I'll be doing the next two years... but I honestly don't know if I can stand being in school for one or two more years...

 

Eenuh, I can completely relate to how your feeling, I've been in the same situation where I felt as though nothing is moving forward and I lost a lot of motivation to draw because I didn't see much point if I'm not getting anything out of it.

 

All I can say is keep at it, I know it's easier said than done, but I've seen your work, it's amazing and needs to be seen by everyone. One thing I did was to put my work up everywhere, on websites, on forums, when you start to get praised for your work it gives you a real boost in confidence.

 

I'm currently getting my work out to publishers now, so maybe that one thing you could try, I know your still doing your art course, but it's never too late to get yourself out there. Hang in there!

 

Hope this helps.

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Scattered mind this morning. Woke up at 11pm so I'm not too tired just yet; got a meeting with a tutor about an essay that I have an extension for (til next thurs, due in last thurs) but I haven't actually started it yet. Not read the books, not read the essay, and I have managed to literally leave it til the last hour to try and get together some 'ideas' and 'questions' so that I don't waste her time too much. Best get on that, really.

 

Dyson, dyson, dyson! Just forget her. Block her face. What's the point in a relationship of any kind where all you talk about is the relationship itself?

 

On a related-by-inspiration note; we should have a yearbook. Or something. Nevermind.

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My exams won't really help me much in a future job; they're just there because our school needs to hit certain criteria. The drawing that is getting published is the simplest drawing ever, plus my name won't even be in their database (unlike what I thought at first). And the t-shirt thing is probably not going to work out anyway.

Stop fighting to be miserable. Honestly, you're the hardest person to cheer up ever as you try to counter everything!

 

You're a loveable, talented person with her entire life ahead of her. If you don't think education can take you any further then do something else; get a regular job, hone your craft yourself in your spare time, keep getting your name out their via the 'net and other avenues. You already have the biggest piece of the puzzle: you know what you're good at, and you know you enjoy doing it. I'd give anything for such a certainty! So take that gift and run with it, whether that be through the halls of education or somewhere else entirely, as you already have the second most important thing in the world: purpose.

 

You're too talented, too lovely not to be a success! The only question is how it's going to come about, so ask yourself a different one, "What's going to make my happy?" When all's said and done, happiness is all anyone wants for you.

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