Brushes With Law

[Ashley]

So today marks the end of my criminal record Five years since I got (a rather farcical) caution for theft (without stealing anything) from Woolies. Oh how time flies eh? So I'm now freeeeeee! And don't have to put it on any applications...which I totally did before obviously...

 

So anyone else had any police-based incidences?

[Captain Falcon]

 

So anyone else had any police-based incidences?

 

Awaits Rez and some lame joke about the band...

 

 

Otherwise, no, can't say I've had any real dealings with them. The only thing that springs to mind is when one stopped his car and called me over after I crossed the street. Admittedly, I was standing as awfully close to his car as I could get when it went past.

 

I think he thought I'd been drinking or something. I hadn't of course, I was only a kid, but the 15 or so other people I was walking over to all had been and most were younger than me.

[dan-likes-trees]

I've had a few utterly banal and middle class brushes

 

 

- In a group throwing snowballs (I didn't!) when we were like 13 at a random car as it passed. Turned out to be a very angry off-duty cop.

 

- Drinking a beer on the way to a party. My friend threw his can in a bush when they turned round and was made to go and fetch it. Classic quote: 'so you er... just taking our names down for the banter or..?'

 

- Told off for having a trolley race in a supermarket car part on the way back from the pub. Then being told off about 5 minutes later for the same thing by some other cops. It's a crazy life.

[Retro_Link]

Not really.

 

I had my policeman neighbour call the cops on me for leaving my car out on the street for a couple of days, having forgotten to change over the new tax disc!... *thanks!*

[Cube]

My and a mate were walking down the road at around 2AM with some bar stools (I'm still not sure how we got them past the bouncer), some police stopped us. We simply said "we found them on the street" and they let us carry on.

[Mundi]

There was that time I got away with killing Laura Palmer.

[Daft]

It was I who was on the grassy knoll.

[The fish]

It was I who was on the grassy knoll.

 

No you weren't - I was alone!

[ReZourceman]

Ashley, we need the full story. Or I do. As I have not heard it.

 

Awaits Rez and some lame joke about the band..

 

Surprisingly, I don't make jokes about The Police (the band).

 

Errrmm. Hmmm.

 

I got burgled once.

 

And nearly got caught stealing (but thats just the Waitrose lube story you've all heard)

 

As they were trying to catch thieves. But really its not thieving if the food your taking just goes in the bin anyway (food from deli/patisserie)

[Kav]

I got locked up in Bangkwang prison, Thailand, for a week under suspicion of smuggling... that was an experience!

 

I've also had a Decective Sargeant from CID come to my house, take me to the police station where I had to give a tape-recorded interview regarding a fight I had been in a couple nights before.

7 lads jumped me and my mate and we ended up winning. Turns out I had put one of them in a coma after he suffered a brain hemorrhage... oops!

Luckily it was all caught on CCTV and showed them jumping us so it was deemed self defence and I didn't have to suffer any punishment.

 

I've been a witness to a hit and run too but that's not exactly having a run in with them.

Edited September 14, 2010 by Kav

[EEVILMURRAY]

Five years since I got (a rather farcical) caution for theft (without stealing anything) from Woolies.

Framed by the one armed man?

7 lads jumped me and my mate and we ended up winning. Turns out I had put one of them in a coma after he suffered a brain hemorrhage... oops!

Luckily it was all caught on CCTV and showed them jumping us so it was deemed self defence and I didn't have to suffer any punishment.

Any reason why they started on you?

 

Not had any brushes with the police yet. I've been able to sweet talk my way out of it happening.

[Kav]

...Any reason why they started on you?...

 

Not that I'm aware of. It was after we had been out drinking, outside the bar, my friend was getting a lift from his girlfriend and when she pulled up, he got in the car and then they started giving us shit.

After not paying attention my friends said they'd give me a lift but as he got out of the car to move the seat so I could get in they just rushed us.

 

More fools them to be fair, we were the ones that ended up laughing although my mate got his nose broken.

By the end of the scuffle 2 of them were out cold and the rest asked us to stop beating on them.

 

My friend and I waited for the police to arrive and told them everything. The lads couldn't say anything as they knew they were in the wrong.

 

 

I've had a similar situation before where me and a friend got jumped by four lads. They had said we had thrown pizza at them, yet we both had full pizzas with us, missing no pieces.

We won that fight too and left only for the police to stop us on the way home and say that the lads had said we jumped them.

We recounted the events of what happened and the police let us go.

Edited September 14, 2010 by Kav

[Paj!]

There was that time I got away with killing Laura Palmer.

 

I love that reference. I need to see Season 2!!

 

--

 

When I was 15/16, we were walking to a friend's house to drink, and people generally brought what alcohol they could from their house, and I told my friend all I had was Bucks Fizz from my birthday a while ago, and he was like "BRING IT!". So I said "Okaylol."

 

Anyway. We'd been walking for ages doing shit all and I was generally bored with carrying stuff so I opened my innocent Bucks Fizz, when a Police officer/car decided to to question us cause I was holding what liked like questionable stuff. Anyway I panicked (I don't get in trouble) and was like imaging myself on death row. My mum also told me if you have a criminal record, you weren't allowed to go to the US (and we were about to go on holiday there). The guy made me pour it out (I'm sure assuming it was hard liquer hidden within or something), and I poured it all over my shoes in shock and horror. Anyway, he let us all go.

 

Not a very good story, I must say.

[ReZourceman]

That sounds.....so bad.

[Tellyn]

Surprisingly, I don't make jokes about The Police (the band).

 

Nor do I, I find they usually come back to Sting you. *shoots self*

[Noodleman]

Had a gun pointed at my head in rio, by a brazilian policeman while his mate searched me for drugs. Fun times.....

[Diageo]

I was warned once by the police to not drink outside designated premises. That's about it. I want to hear the ReZ thing though. You stole things?

[ReZourceman]

Not really. Its a lot more legal than it sounds.

 

I used to work on the deli/patisserie countersat Waitrose. Any food that was left at the end and had gone out of date we had to weigh up and throw away. So occasionally, I would just put the stuff in my overalls/take home to wash. So its fine really. Just means instead of a bin, they found solace in stomachs.

[Charlie]

They had said we had thrown pizza at them, yet we both had full pizzas with us, missing no pieces.

 

I love that bit. Hard evidence that no pizza was thrown.

 

The guy made me pour it out (I'm sure assuming it was hard liquer hidden within or something), and I poured it all over my shoes in shock and horror. Anyway, he let us all go.

 

Haha, I remember one time that a girl I knew a few years younger than myself had managed to acquire a litre of vodka for her and her friends. Half an hour after saying bye to them I got a phonecall (I was now drinking at a party) saying that police had seen her and made her pour the whole bottle, still pretty much full, down the drain.

 

 

 

 

 

One time I was bursting for a pee so went up a quiet back alley to take one, as everyone does, next thing I know is that the police are shouting. I do what any sensible drunk person does and puts on a boost. It turns out I'm faster than the policeman!

 

When we were younger we used to have to drink on the streets because there was nowhere else to go. Naturally the police knew about this so were always patrolling the place. We got our names taken a number of times because we were just standing in the park or something. Pretty stupid because we were never doing anything bad.

[Wesley]

Er...

 

When I was younger I used to throw stuff at policemen on patrol and run off.

 

Also used to do... stuff, and police would chase me and my friends.

 

Got arrested and charged for theft when I was a bit younger as well.

 

But all that stupid shit is behind me now and I am a nice person.

[jayseven]

Just the usual drinking-in-public thing. Police officers come by (usually the fake ones) and ask us to pour away the opened container. They know we have more booze and are really doing it for face-saving purposes.

 

Last night a copper came into the pub we were in and asked us if we knew where teh GFC on church road (the road we were on) was. Nobody in the place knew of any kebab places nearby, only as he left I remembered there was a GFC on the church road in Hove... Bit of a trivial anecdote, but just humorous nonetheless.

[ReZourceman]

Last night a copper came into the pub we were in and asked us if we knew where teh GFC on church road (the road we were on) was. Nobody in the place knew of any kebab places nearby, only as he left I remembered there was a GFC on the church road in Hove... Bit of a trivial anecdote, but just humorous nonetheless.

 

If you say so. :p

[Murr]

I've got an assult record.

 

The story goes... (will shorten down some of it)

 

We're standing on the corner of one of my friends streets, i'm in a debate with a girl about how to get back to my place from my friends. He's inviting me and the girl to go back into the house with him and his lady, im convincing said girl to walk back to my place, and she's trying to pursuade me to get a taxi back to my place.

 

well anyway a silver 'kitted up' ford fiesta comes round the corner really really quickly and drives right up to the corner / curb we're on as if 'pretending to hit us' and the guys are shouting abuse at us.

 

we think nothing of it, the car then comes back down the street (from dropping someone off) and again this time drives on the wrong side of the road towards us again as if trying to threten to run us over shouting abuse.

 

 

Now obviously we're drunk, the first thing me and my friend think is run after the person they dropped off. so we do, we find him. shouting profanaties at each other happen. Then out of no-where the guy punches my friend and he goes down to the floor, the guy then jumps on him and contiues to punch him while on the floor (my friend was quite gobby)

 

I'm in complete shock, my closest friend at the time has just taken a smack in the face and is now getting a good kicking.... my first reaction is to grab my keys from my pocket, put them between my knuckles, and then jump this guy and start hitting him in the face with my "Key'd" up knuckle.

 

 

 

eventually we're broken up / apart by the girls that were with us, and then nothing materialised, we walked seperate ways.

 

 

less than 5 minutes later the silver ford fiesta is back and everyone has jumped out and running after us, at this point we're literally on my friends front garden so we bolt it into the house. but these guys are there on the front and we cant shut the front door cause they're literally piling into the house to get us. a neighbour has seen / heard the noise and phoned the police and eventually everyone is arrested / taken to the station.

 

thats where i recieved my assult charge, along with all the other people involved in it.

 

I told my story to the police as i said it to you guys, seeing my gobby best friend get hit and put down in one punch just got to me, first thing i could think to do is hit this guy back... but the difference is rather than do it barefist i used keys.

 

dont know how i got off lightly with it, but did. in the end they didnt press charges as they admitted to needlesly starting things with abuse from the car... also the driver was done for drink driving. and my friend couldnt really press charges as he was the gobby one that initiated getting punched, and i was the one that used keys to assult.

 

 

 

long story/

 

sorry n-europe

Edited September 15, 2010 by Murr

[nightwolf]

Wow impressive Murr (as in the length and getting away with it lightly).

 

The only two times I've had to speak to the police it's been times where I haven't commited the crime. One was for family stuff which I won't speak of.

 

The other was my next door neighbours at uni last year, convicted drug dealers, charged for theft (there were about 20 odd of them living at one small house.) and then eventually when the stabbing happen the police wanted to convict them of it, eventually quite a few of them got kicked out, but the police continuously kept asking us questions about it all. I got fed up in the end because nothing ever really seemed to happen.

[ReZourceman]

Also you were the ones that ran after the dude. :p But yeah thats a crazy story. Can't believe they forced their way into a house.

 

Sounds like they deserved the keying you gave em though. Nicely done.