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What is love?


jayseven

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Mad props to Darksnowman for thread inspiration.

 

I used to think that all it took for a relationship to work was mutual love - some sort of golden rule that if you both love each other, you'll do anything to stay together and work things out.

 

Clearly my ex-girlfriend did not share the same view.

 

Love is something that comes from within, that nobody else gives you. It is your own capacity for love that warms your insides, and when it's somehow not good enough, you feel hurt because someone else does not see the worth that you know it has - that it's not good enough for them.

 

Or at least thinking that makes me feel better.

 

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Do we all become those old bickering couples you see everywhere? Are we really destined for one person only? Are you supposed to have love at first sight, or is that purely skin deep and you may already have met your soulmate you just won't find out until you know them better?

 

*end of whine for now*

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I've often been told by other people that me and Letty 'belong together'. We have this underlying understanding and on many important issues are usually thinking the same.

 

The whole thing about, better to have love and lost is utter bull shit. There is no worse feeling than being heart broken. Hell, if Letty turned around tomorrow and said that she felt nothing for me anymore, needless to say i'd be rather upset.

 

Love is a great thing, its completely unexplainable to someone whos never felt it but whenever the person you love is around, things feel alot better.

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Tbh I don't think it's anything that has an explanation like "we have the same tastes" or "we think the same way" or "we make each other laugh". As the wise Oracle once said: "no one can tell you you're in love, you just know it, through and through. Balls to bone."

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...Love is something that comes from within, that nobody else gives you. It is your own capacity for love that warms your insides, and when it's somehow not good enough, you feel hurt because someone else does not see the worth that you know it has - that it's not good enough for them...

 

My God, I've been thinking that in the last couple weeks too, a situation with me has been just like that!

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Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Do we all become those old bickering couples you see everywhere? Are we really destined for one person only? Are you supposed to have love at first sight, or is that purely skin deep and you may already have met your soulmate you just won't find out until you know them better?

 

*end of whine for now*

 

No. Yes (but thats natural, we all become old moody people anyway). No. No/Yes (no to love at first sight, yes to the need to know them better).

 

People seem to have a very flat definition of love. Its all hallmark cards and picnic baskets. (or maybe this is just my friends). My friend recently went through a breakup and she asked if I thought her and her boyfriend made a good couple and I said yes, but not in the way most people think what a good couple is. The whole constant hand-holding and smooshyfacing. Thats not love, in my opinion, thats puppy love.

 

Personally I dunno if I've ever been in love (in the relationship sense at least, I do love most of my family and some of my friends). I've opened myself up to people, trusted in people (again, not just those I've dated) and been stomped on. Now I have the belief "sooner or later the people you love will let you down" firmly etched into my brain that whenever someone does let me down I say to myself, "see, proof! People ain't no good." But I know its an excuse not to open myself up.

 

I am going to try and open myself up more, and theres a potential on the horizon. As much as it both scares and pisses me off, I do want love. Even those cringeworthy moments. Lying in bed with someone I pulled a few weeks ago actually felt so nice. Maybe it ain't all that bad?

 

So maybe to summarise my long babbling. Love is individual. It cannot be defined, nor should you attempt to live up to some social ideas of what it is love and romance is. If you'd rather play wrestle with your partner in public than kiss then do it. Just whatever works for you.

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Ashley, you would know.

 

You love, you loss and you feel utterly stinking. You give everything to someone and a potential future with them (they tell you and make you feel safe) and well... they leave you and its all been for nothing. Money and time spent travelling together, making some of the best memories you have... and they leave you. Out of the blue!

 

Thus love = nothing.

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I first experienced love not so long ago when i fell in the arms of Halo 3. I know from then on we would have a bright and happy future together. Even to this day i look back on the day we met and realise how lucky i am to have something this important in my life. Halo 3 wants to take are relationship to the next level by getting all the ranks in multiplayer matches. Halo 3 makes me feel like i can do this, it gives me the confidence i have always needed. I think we can do this as long as we have each other.

 

Love you Halo xxx.

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I think jayseven's description of love is pretty much in line with my idea of it. I'd say it's better to have loved and lost than not at all, just to have at least experienced its immense feeling once. I like it as a description of love as well cos it gives room for people of any age to love, rather than when older people will tell younger people that they're too young to know what love is.

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I first experienced love not so long ago when i fell in the arms of Halo 3. I know from then on we would have a bright and happy future together. Even to this day i look back on the day we met and realise how lucky i am to have something this important in my life. Halo 3 wants to take are relationship to the next level by getting all the ranks in multiplayer matches. Halo 3 makes me feel like i can do this, it gives me the confidence i have always needed. I think we can do this as long as we have each other.

 

Love you Halo xxx.

 

lol, ditto with my 360! I got suspicious when she got the RRoD and we decided to have a break from each other but its true absence does make the heart grow fonder. She came back to me a couple weeks later and we haven't looked back.

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I do believe in the 'better to have loved than lost' pursuasion. Losing it hurts for a long time, but not forever. In ten years it will be nothing but an old memory. But to get to the end of your life and feel the loneliness of never having been in love? That would be a lot harder, wouldn't it? You would feel that you had missed out on something great....

 

Plus, the concept itself seems hopeless anyway. Personally I don't think you really have a choice, it just pounces on you sometimes.

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God you guys are skeptical.

 

Well my view on love.... well i agree it isn't easy, not easy at all. First finding someone you feel that way for and who feels that way for you. And i think alot of people say those words without understanding them or meaning them - i was with someone who said it but often had zero respect for me, that's not love. I'd also agree with Ash, love comes in many forms, in my current relationship we'll play fight as well as the close stereotypical stuff - different people need different things from a relationship.

 

But how does it feel for me? When its working it feels so good and so uplifting, whenever i've had a bad day, just knowing i can turn to someone and feel appreciated and held is so uplifting, makes life feel so much better. But there is a vulnerability to it, you know you're exposed and they could really hurt you just with a few chosen words.

 

Anyway, i'd definitely agree you need to be happy with yourself or you'll often struggle to accept they like you or care about you.

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In my view you/we/i don't 'fall' in love. Love is just something thats is within each and every person. And you choose to share it with someone, be it a family member, a friend, or a girlfriend/boyfriend etc. Personally i think i part with my love too often but its worth it. Its worth the risk of being rejected or not having the mutual feeling because without a risking everything you will gain nothing

 

edit: im sure i must of heard that last line somewhere, if i did invent it then i should sell it to Hallmark

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Love

i could get very very soppy about this!

ive been with my very wonderful bf for 26 months exactly (today!) and its safe to say im in love :D

 

love for me is, the way u miss them when they are only gone a day or 2 :(, if you think of something funny / sad / memorable and you want to tell them first, when you share your dreams with them, when you confide in them, and they share your beliefs!

 

i'm very lucky in finding him (greg) ... as he puts up with my many many strange (but amusing) quirks!

i admit we have our fallouts about random crap but mainly its alllllllll goooooooood:yay:

 

thats my happy and slightly embarassing post for the day!

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1-up Mushroom

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