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I feel betrayed (sorry for my swearing) - Update-thing.


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Posted

I wouldnt go back to her, if shes done this to you theres no way you's will ever feel the same about each other again, i would be brave and move on. It will be tuff, but it will be wise.

 

Hope that help'd.

Posted

Jim I'm really sorry she's done this, especially after you've been having a hard time lately. I can't give any real advice but I think get some space from her at the moment, you wont be able to think straight when you're feeling so much. I'm here to listen anytime you're online.

Posted

Eck. Man, that's just unbelievable. Sounds like you've been on some kind of crazy emotional rollercoaster I can't even begin to imagine. What a web lovers can weave. Man that's tough.

 

I think the whole world and his dog could drone on & on with advice on what to do, but I guess the only things that can happen is whatever happens. Good luck.

Posted

Just want to add, if you decide to get rid, make a clean break dont stay "friends". Delete her phone number from your mobile, block and delete her from MSN etc. Because and this one is from experiance if you dont, you may find that you're getting over it then out of the blue you'll either be contacted by her or you'll want to contact you and then bam you go back to square one.

Posted

Hey man. I've known you a while now and I know how much Becky means to you. I honestly can't believe she'd be so stupid. I always thought you were made for each other and she goes and throws it away for a 'thrill'. I'm the last person to give you advice but as much as you love her you can't go back after that. It's not even a one time thing, what if you hadn't found out... You deserve so much better than to be fucked around like that. Give yourself time, be with your friends and family. You know i'm there if you need to chat dude.

Posted

:( This thread makes me sad :(

 

Shit man, I can't imagine that happening. Remember this though, you're still in university and you're relatively good-looking. Give it a few months (maybe even longer) and i'm sure you'll find someone new.

Posted

Forget about her. She obviously doesn't care about you that much if she would do this to you.

 

Just stay with friends/family for a while and you'll be OK in a while. It will feel strange at first as you're used to being with her but you'll get over it. Don't jump back in straight away though give it a while to settle.

Posted

Hope you're holding up ok. Its a crap situation to be in, but I agree with Shorty on this one, she's crossed a line that you really can't come back from. Drunken pull is forgivable (after she apologies lots, and it only happens once), but what she did was certainlt on the level.

 

My Advice: break up with the cheating bitch and dont look back. And ignore that chris bloke, as fun as it would be to break his nose and knee him in the bollocks, its not worth the grief. Go out find a nice girl in a club and have some fun.

 

Oh and send a text to danny dumps (and listen to others they'll make you feel better), http://www.digitalgalaxy.co.uk/article.asp?id=291672

 

Your a top guy, you'll find someone who deserves you eventually

Posted

...Thats harsh. Thats phenomenally harsh, I feel for you.

 

Cant offer much advice, but dont try and get back together with her. There is no way you can now really. I know alot of other people have said that but just thought I'd say. Get drunk a few times, try and move on and as ginger Chris said ignore that chris bloke, as fun as it would be to break his nose and knee him in the bollocks, its not worth the grief.

Posted

I really feel for you FL. I could fill my post with saying stuff like 'you deserve better', 'forget her' etcetera, but that won't make you feel any better.

 

All I've got to say is, these are moments when you've got to think, and not to feel. Don't do anything you'll regret.

Posted

Thanks for your comments, guys. It means a lot to me to just have people being there for me. Helps me see this thing from all sides, I guess.

 

My friend came around earlier, and she talked to me about it all. I explained the whole thing to her and how I was feeling, etc. I need to come to sort some of decision about this, but I just don't know what.

 

She cheered me up a bit, which always helps. But, now she's gone and I've sorta slumped back to how I was feeling before.

Posted

Cheer up - play some Zelda or something, get your mind off it for a while.

 

I know that's really light and might not work but...give it a shot.

Posted

You could always try listening to some music to help cheer you up, I always find a bit of Led Zeppelin (Good Times Bad Times in particular) cheers me up. Might not help at all but worth a shot i suppose....

Posted

If your friend cheered you up, it's probably easy to become a shameless pile of misery, pain and anger for a few days and stay with your friends. Sounds to me you could use the time off, and sitting alone in your state isn't going to heal you.

Posted

Wow, that is fucked up, seriously, this sort of shit really really annoys me even though it's never happened to me, but it really fucks me off when people play with other people's emotions like that. I can't help but think your girlfriend is a heartless bitch.

When I saw the title and read a bit of the post, I thought 'wow, this is fucked up, I'd fucking lose it if this was me'. I was expecting that you hadn't, as this was before I got to that bit, and whilst it isn't a good thing, I don't blame you at all for reacting the way you say you did. To be honest though, I've never been in any sort of serious relationship, so as much as I empathise, I haven't been there myself.

I'd like to say to get rid of her, don't bother trying to make it up, once was bad enough, and like you said being drunk as well, even though it's no excuse. A second time though? And completely sober? Doesn't sound to me like you can trust her at all. I know you said she feels remorse, but maybe it's guilt, or remorse over the fact that she got caught when she thought she could get away with it. This is the sort of situation where my pessimistic side comes into things, she thought she could get away with it and hasn't, so she's inevitably gonna feel well gutted, and given the way you reacted, she's probably a bit scared and shocked too. You sure it's genuine remorse, it's something to consider seriously if you think of trying to make a go of things, but theres no reason why you should try to do anything, she fucked up and not you. Who's to say you won't go back to her and then it'll happen again? One thing I don't think you should have done is force her to tell this guy them things after, you should have left her to her own devices, to make her own choice sort of thing, in my opinion.

 

All that aside, it's one really fucked up situation to be in, and one you don't deserve to be in. At least it's only been going on for a few weeks and you know now, rather than a few months down the line or anything. I'd say you're best off without her, it's been a couple of years yeah, but you're still young and it isn't like a marriage breakdown of 20 years or anything crazy like that. You get back together, there's always the chance it'll happen again, or that you'll continously be in doubt. Really, no one can make the decision other than you, is it worth the risk, could you be happy with her again after this?

Posted

I never know what to say in a sitch such as this, but if I were there I'd give you a hug. Hugs are great.

 

Like [insert emotional support and stuff here] ok? You know we love you Kinky Flinky!

Posted

We've been txting each other, and at the moment its not looking likely that we'll get back together.

 

What a huge mess. Its going to sound cliched, but its true, this really has ruined my life. I live with my girlfriend, so the next few months are going to be awkward as hell, I don't even know where I'll be living next year. Not just that, but we were thinking that this relationship could last for many more years than this, Uni and beyond.

 

I have calmed down, thinking rationally, but I still would like to smash that guy's face in with all of my might. I am so, so angry right now.

 

It's bad enough her having sex with this guy, but nothing pisses me off more when guys have it off with someone, knowing full well that they've already got a partner or in a relationship.

Posted

When things go horribly wrong for me I usually say things in my mind to myself along the lines of "everything happens for a reason/it's meant to be/bad things lead to good things". And no I don't 100% believe in destiny, but those phrases make me feel a hell of a lot better.

Posted

I dont know if this will make you feel better or worse but this sort of thing happens on a constant basis to bajillions of couples.

 

Chalk it up as a learning experience. You got a taste of the real world, it can only make you stronger and smarter in future relationships. Congratulations are in order, seriously.


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