Agent Gibbs Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Oh shit @Blade that sounds terrible, and i tend to think the gaslight theory sounds plausible, that or she is just not the person you thought and she's a little crazy. I had a relationship that at the time i thought was fine right up until the last 9 months, like you we were very much in love but slowly she became distant and retreating to her friends more before eventually when i confronted her she said she no longer loved me. After we split, at first she was friendly, before suddenly removing me from her facebook and then i heard bad mouthing me, thankfully for me she was always known to be a bit of a bullshiter so nobody believed her lies - but theres no smoke without fire seems to be in peoples minds so i lost some friends out of "not wanting to get involved" Furthermore turns out she was cheating on me behind my back with guests at the hotel she worked in, for 9 months, which her friends (supposedly my friends too) knew. I suppose my point is perhaps you are viewing your relationship with those rose tinted glasses you get whilst in a relationship, and that its wasn't as good as you believe, i know when i cleared my head and looked back i realised my perfect relationship was actually quite toxic and she controlled me, as it sounds this woman did with you, perhaps this vitriol she is exerting now is perhaps her still trying to control you? eitherway man, i hope you get through this, stay strong
drahkon Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) Sorry to hear that, Blade. I can't imagine what you're going through...we're here for you, just like Mr-Paul said. I can't add much more, as everything has been said. But I want to say this, and it may sound a bit harsh and not something you'd like to hear: Those mutual friends? You're better off without them...if they don't even want to hear your side. It's easier said than done, I know... Edited July 3, 2015 by drahkon
Cube Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Well, I'm back already. The date was pretty shit - she was utterly boring and we really didn't have enough in common to have a decent conversation. I kept trying and was kind to her (I told her she looked nice, even though she didn't). Then apparently the person she was selling her car to arrive early so she left as soon as we had finished eaten. I was polite and went to hug her goodbye, but she said "no". Ah well, the hunt continues. I got the impression that I was way too good for her anyway.
Emasher Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Well, I'm back already. The date was pretty shit - she was utterly boring and we really didn't have enough in common to have a decent conversation. I kept trying and was kind to her (I told her she looked nice, even though she didn't). Then apparently the person she was selling her car to arrive early so she left as soon as we had finished eaten. I was polite and went to hug her goodbye, but she said "no". Ah well, the hunt continues. I got the impression that I was way too good for her anyway. Never do that on a first date. I've been on a lot of dates like this recently. I thought I was a pretty boring person. Then I started meeting women like this that have no interests beyond gossip, and can't participate in a conversation that goes beyond the most shallow of topics. Her leaving early was probably a good thing though, if nothing else, it saved you some time. Anyway, I've got a date Monday night with a girl I met on POF. She was the one who first messaged me, and was pretty blunt about the fact that she wanted to go on a date, which is giving me mixed feelings. I'll see how it goes I guess. Hopefully she at least knows how many world wars there were.
Pancake Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 I was polite and went to hug her goodbye, but she said "no". Omg, so rude! Sounds like you've prob dodged a bullet anyway.
Rummy Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Sounds a bit shit @Cube. A shame but I have to agree with the others - you're better off! @Blade - that sounds seriously messed up man and I'm sorry to hear it. I'm erring on the skeptical side with wolfy and gibbs though - something seems super fishy there for her to be behaving like this but just keep your head and remember it isn't/wasn't you. You're better off without the mutuals too if they wanna drop/block you like that.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Damn, @Blade, that sounds absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through something like that. Obviously I know nothing about the situation, but the gaslighting theory sounds scarily plausible.
Blade Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 So after a week off work I returned today. Ended up leaving early
Raining_again Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 My ex ex is sniffing around.... totally sussed. "I should really come down n see you sometime" Er no you shouldn't. Never.
Raining_again Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 THAT ONE @Cube The abused one, dumped me got with his ex, now is running away from his problems by leaving for australia... problem is, your issues are in your head, not with the other people, lol.
Emasher Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Well my date cancelled on me. She works at an outdoor pool (I knew this before), and got to leave early today since it was cold. And then forgot about me. She suggested re-scheduling, so we're going out Thursday instead. A little bit annoyed because I wasted nearly an hour wondering around killing time, but it's a good thing I texted her to confirm at least. I've learned from experience not to re-schedule a first date more than once, so we'll see how things go.
gaggle64 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 My ex ex is sniffing around.... totally sussed. "I should really come down n see you sometime" Er no you shouldn't. Never. Put an item of clothing that smells like you in a giant mousetrap and see what happens.
nightwolf Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 THAT ONE @Cube The abused one, dumped me got with his ex, now is running away from his problems by leaving for australia... problem is, your issues are in your head, not with the other people, lol. This should be you right now: Leave them for dust, not worth even replying too.
Beast Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Too. Many. People...needing help! EEUUUUUAUAAAAAAARRRRGH! I'm changiiiinnnng! ...she's back! #Shaniquanisha I'm going through an extremely difficult time at the minute A few weeks ago my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant. She had carried out several tests and everything was dandy. We had been trying for the past 6 months so it wasn't a complete shock. However, as soon as she found out she was pregnant she became increasingly distant, a lot of crying and panicking. She lives with her mum and she wanted to spend an increasingly amount of time with her which resulted with less time with me. I put it all down to hormones On Monday, I texted her asking her if anything was wrong between the two of us. She replied stating that nothing was wrong, she loved me very much and that I should never think otherwise. The next morning, whilst I was at work she texted me: She had lost the baby. She was "glad" that she had lost the baby as she never wanted it She no long wanted to be with me. She said I was using her for her money and taking advantage of her. She immediately blocked me from everything. She has since been saying nasty things about me on both facebook and text to mutual friends. Whilst we were going out and from the very beginning she was extremely insecure and she continuously buy me gifts. She even bought me a PS4 and gave me 80 quid a month! I initially refused and we rowed. Eventually I used to accept everything just for a quieter life. Now, I accept im a dick for accepting everything and probably towards the end expecting things. I should have known better and just out right refused everything. I kept reassuring her that she did not have to buy me stuff and that I loved her. Thing is, she never believed I loved her. I have since written her a letter and posted it. I have said that I love her and that I was a dick for accepting the gifts and the money but I never intended to hurt her. I never realised that I was making her life a misery and that I love her very much. Obviously not received a reply. I'm absolutely devastated and been off work all week. I'm not a bad person but being told that she is glad the baby is gone and that i've taken advantage of her and that I have ruined her life has knocked me for six! I don't think there is any chance we will get back together. She has been posting on facebook that I have "destroyed" her, that I have "ruined her life" and that I have "financially and emotionally abused her" I think i'm going mad. Now I am not perfect and I have tons of faults but I treated her very well. I'm really sorry that she believes I didn't though. I can only sing her praises as to what she was like in the relationship - absolutely lovely, caring, beautiful. I've been looking through text messages etc and the majority of them are telling each other how much we love one another. Why is she saying these really hurtful and untrue things? She did the breaking up, glad that she miscarried and now she goes on facebook to bad mouth me. I have deactivated facebook but my friends keep texting with "do you want to see what she has put now". I'm like "not really but i've got to know" I'm losing mutual friends by the second. I've not said a bad word about her. I don't see what positive I would gain by this. Also the fact is that there was really nothing to bad mouth her about! I just want this nightmare to end and I want to get back to enjoying my life again. These last few days have been hell. Reading through all of this, there is absolutely NO WAY that you are to blame for any of this shit, @Blade, and considering I'm sort of known for being the big gob, I'm just going to say that, by what you've typed, she's mad and you're best out of it. I had an ex exactly like yours. She played so many mind games with me that I wasn't myself. She tried to trap me by not taking the pill and putting small holes through my condoms, she lied about being pregnant, kept buying me things but then was all "You'll easily accept gifts but you'll never show me love" and apparently I call her ugly, fat and I smacked her. She's that much of a nightmare that even her own mother told me I was a better person than she was and I was the only boyfriend she liked and told me, in a good way, to stay clear of her daughter. So my point is this: Did you see the tests yourself? Are you absolutely positive she was pregnant? Because I do not know a single woman who has miscarried and has said "I'm glad" after it. A couple of my friends miscarried, one through an accidental pregnancy, and they were upset for days. Not only that but to miscarry from you, who was someone who loved and supported her and would have been a good father, just sounds a bit sick. With her buying you gifts, they are gifts. Whether you accept them or not, they are gifts she has bought for you. If she was going to use that shit on you, I'd have said "Well, bitch, here's the receipts. Return them and stick them up your arse". She can't be using GIFTS as a weapon. That's like me going to my friends after an argument and saying "YOU ONLY USE ME BECAUSE I GAVE YOU A CHRISTMAS PRESENT!". That argument is just stupid beyond words. As for mutual friends, fuck them off! Never be friends with mutual friends unless you knew them first or you're closer. If they dump on you because they believe her over you then clearly they do not know you and don't deserve to know you to begin with. It's no great loss, honestly. I lost shitloads but the way I see it, your real friends stick with you and those are the people you should be focusing on. Not these stupid-ass mutual friends who are up for any dramas. Tell them to eat your shit and move on from them. They sound like Facebook drama queens anyway. As for her saying shit about you on Facebook, it just shows her maturity in the first place. I mean, she's supposed to be a grown-ass woman and she's posting statuses about you and your relationships? Pathetic! You're better off without her! She's truly shown her true colours, do you really want that in your life? You're classy, mate. You're worth a million of her! Take it from me! Carry on doing you and being you and find another woman! Someone who will treat you how you deserve and someone who is grown-ass woman! Well, I'm back already. The date was pretty shit - she was utterly boring and we really didn't have enough in common to have a decent conversation. I kept trying and was kind to her (I told her she looked nice, even though she didn't). Then apparently the person she was selling her car to arrive early so she left as soon as we had finished eaten. I was polite and went to hug her goodbye, but she said "no". Ah well, the hunt continues. I got the impression that I was way too good for her anyway. You go, Glen Coco! Yes, now you're getting it! If this bitch can't even HUG YOU, obviously she has no class and no manners whereas you have so you are more than too good for her anyway. You will find someone better than her. What sort of woman is she to refuse a hug? I'd have said "Love, you're not exactly *insert hot chick's name from Firefly* so don't act like you're better than me". You've shown you're classy, courteous and shown you were raised with manners. It's a shame she wasn't. Although I am intrigued as to how she appeared to the date if she never looked good. INSATNTLY I wouldn't have another date with her. If she can't make an ounce of effort to look good for a potential partner, she never will. Anyway, I've got a date Monday night with a girl I met on POF. She was the one who first messaged me, and was pretty blunt about the fact that she wanted to go on a date, which is giving me mixed feelings. I'll see how it goes I guess. Hopefully she at least knows how many world wars there were. Why the mixed feelings? She was forward in meeting you? Have you seen a picture of her? Have you video chatted her? If so and she wants to meet you, you must be hot shit! How did it go? Damn, @Blade, that sounds absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through something like that. Obviously I know nothing about the situation, but the gaslighting theory sounds scarily plausible. WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?! BED EMPTY, NO NOTE, CAR GONE! YOU COULD HAVE DIED, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SEEN! My ex ex is sniffing around.... totally sussed. "I should really come down n see you sometime" Er no you shouldn't. Never. Mmmmhm. Gurl! Block his ass and say this: "Look, stop sniffing around this premium first-class pussy. You chose budget, trashy and ratchet-ass hoe pussy so you're staying with it. You aren't getting this lady in the street but a freak in the sheets. You lost that chance! Good luck with the Sheilas in Australia, I'll be praying for their souls and praying they don't catch any STIs after you've been down under in THAT gutter. Never contact me again, you nasty-ass cretin!" ...that or you could just, like, block him and never speak to him again. Your choice! TO EVERYONE HERE: I just really want you to realise that you are all amazing, awesome people and you don't deserve any heartaches or heartbreaks. Don't be down in the dumps with yourself, don't be pining after people who do the dirty on you or people who fuck you about. You are worth a lot more! Don't let them wear you down. If they walk out on you, obviously they don't know that they missed out on a pretty fucking awesome deal. You are all brilliant, brilliant people and for them to treat you like shit is an atrocity in itself. You are strong, you are independent and you handle your own! Love yourselves and screw the haters and screw game-players and the people who wronged you. Find yourself someone who is worthy of you and find someone who appreciates and values you for you because finding someone who is truthful and honest is a good value to find! ===== Story of my love life: I've just been called 'babe', shit is going down! Edited July 8, 2015 by Animal
Raining_again Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Ahhhh i freakin love you so much @Animal Also I did completely ignore it, and have no intention of meeting him. The sooner he goes to australia the better. But I do feel for the australian wimmens!! Edited July 8, 2015 by Raining_again
Emasher Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Well, that was a waste of time. She was late (had a reasonable excuse though), and then it turned out she goes to university in a different city (about a 30 hour drive) most of the year. We also had absolutely nothing in common which made for a pretty awkward time. Back to the dating sites I guess.
bob Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Which country are you in where you can drive for 30 hours and not drown?
Rummy Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Which country are you in where you can drive for 30 hours and not drown? Canadia. (kinda wanted the aliens guy, saying canadians, but im far too lazy)
bob Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Wow, I can't even imagine deciding to drive 30 hours. If it's anything over 8 I'd be looking for a flight.
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Wow, I can't even imagine deciding to drive 30 hours. If it's anything over 8 I'd be looking for a flight. Maybe they just drive really slow. It's actually in the city next door.
Goafer Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Maybe they just drive really slow. It's actually in the city next door. To be fair, mooses (moose? meece?) aren't known for their speed.
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 To be fair, mooses (moose? meece?) aren't known for their speed. And there lies the important question: What is the plural form of moose? Apparently it's moose. Like sheep.
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