Raining_again Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You should be scared for him, I'm on a high dose of Fluoxetine which is known to reduce sexual appetite...
Jamba Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You should be scared for him, I'm on a high dose of Fluoxetine which is known to reduce sexual appetite... It's almost like there's some kind of magic at work!
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Myself and a friend are trying to work out whether a woman who works in the sandwich shop near uni has a thing for me or not. She's around my age (maybe a little older), quietly spoken and quite shy but every time I go in, she's always all smiles, quite chatty (well, chatty for someone whose obviously rather shy) and even if she's serving another customer she'll always skip off through to the back (literally skip) to bring me my order even though she should be serving someone else. Friend thinks she's definitely into me, as she isn't like that with any of the other customers ever, and that I should go for it but no idea how to do it. She thinks I should write my name and number on the back of my ticket and hand it to her when she brings me my order. And then, there's another girl who works in a shop in town whose the same as above but she always makes a beeline for me when I come in to ask if I need anything but then doesn't go round to ask if anyone else in the shop needs any assistance. She did it again today and was all smiles and flirty and hung around at the till while I was paying for something with another assistant even though she was apparently on her break. There's also a girl in Starbucks who only works weekends and I've only seen/been served by twice as I never usually go in on weekends but she is the same, knows my name and order before I've even opened my mouth. So yeah, not sure what to do or what the next step should be. It's been a little while since I've been out with someone on a date (for reasons that'd take too long to list out and would bore the arse off of everyone) but with everything sort of falling to place a bit more recently, I'm thinking it's time to get back in the game and meet someone. Also means that one of my colleagues will stop trying to set me up with her friends (and this is the one who asked if I wanted to hook up with her after a night out even though she has a BF). We'll see. tl;dr - All the ladies want Ganepark. It's really not nice of you to hog all that charm for yourself, you know.
The Bard Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Don't ever leave your name and number on a piece of paper for the girl. You're deferring and putting the onus on her to initiate the conversation, which is, quite frankly, never going to work and it makes you look effete and lacking in any volition whatsoever.
Ganepark32 Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Don't ever leave your name and number on a piece of paper for the girl. You're deferring and putting the onus on her to initiate the conversation, which is, quite frankly, never going to work and it makes you look effete and lacking in any volition whatsoever. Completely agree, which is why I haven't done it and won't. As I said, my friend keeps saying do it but like you say, it's not the way you'd go about things and it's not the way I'd ask someone out, or ever will. I'll figure out how to do it properly at some point. Even if it's something as stupid as planning my walk down the street passed the shop as she's leaving work and strike up the conversation that way. Or something. I really am rusty with this sort of thing.
The Bard Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 You know, I don't think it's anything that requires planning, all it takes is a quick observant sweep of the surroundings to find something mutually present in your shared environment that you could strike up a conversation about. If you go about planning everything in advance you'll spend your whole time fretting about the extent to which the situation as it actually ends up playing out conformed to your plan - instead of allowing the flow of natural conversation to take over. Anything can be a conversation starter, comment on a bracelet she might be wearing, or a tattoo or something. If she likes you, she'll be thankful for the fact that you talked to her first, and hopefully she'll run with it.
rizz Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 I'd completely forgotten until reading these comments now, but once upon a time there was a girl I was talking to and thought was interested, and I just showed up at the shop where she worked and asked if she wanted to get a drink sometime. It seems rather out of character to me, but I did it She said yes too, but after I decided it was a no go. Also, I just realised we still have the old Xsorbit emoticons. was always my favourite.
drahkon Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 May have a crush on a lady. I got her number two days ago, don't know whether she gave it to me because she was interested or because she was drunk. She also told me before that she got my number from her friend. Don't really know what I should think of this and of her because she seems kinda shy, but at the same time she kind of doesn't, if that makes any sense. I also have a date with a different lady next Friday (the same girl I had a date with two weeks ago, but I had to cancel due to illness). I actually don't know whether I should go...have lost interest a bit. Why do I have a date, you might ask? I was drunk and asked her via a text message.
Beast Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I think I have a crush on a lady too, just like @drahkon. I don't know what to do though. She works in Home Bargains and I've seen her there quite a few times but I've been too shy to say anything. We smile at each other and say hello and how are you but that's it. I want to ask her out for a drink or something but I've no idea how to do it without becoming a massive perv. It's different in a different environment but she's working. I don't exactly want to wait for her either because it seems stalker-ish. How would you guys approach this? Oh and I was speaking to this girl for about a couple of weeks when she decided not to speak to me for a few days. I left it. When she came online the next time, I asked where she were and she said "Sorry, not interested in you, I don't date fat guys" so I said "Cool, I don't date bitches so I'm glad I dodged a bullet" and that were it.
Ashley Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I think I have a crush on a lady too, just like @drahkon. @nightwolf? Nailed it!
Rummy Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I think I have a crush on a lady too, just like @drahkon. I don't know what to do though. She works in Home Bargains and I've seen her there quite a few times but I've been too shy to say anything Take a bottle of the £2 wine up to the checkout and ask her what she's doing tonight. (jk, all I remember of home bargains is that they sold wine for less than £3, this post has no actual use except for me to joke about the above. and to e-five @Ashley on his awesome joke. yeaaaaaaaaaaaah!)
drahkon Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I want to ask her out for a drink or something but I've no idea how to do it without becoming a massive perv. Just ask her. Don't think you would sound like a perv. I mean...why should it? You think she's pretty and want to get to know her. Go for it, ask her out for a drink. If she thinks you're a perv, then she's stupid and you should be glad you dodged that bullet :p
Beast Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 @nightwolf? Nailed it! I can imagine this turning into some Jeremy Kyle shit, haha. Take a bottle of the £2 wine up to the checkout and ask her what she's doing tonight. (jk, all I remember of home bargains is that they sold wine for less than £3, this post has no actual use except for me to joke about the above. and to e-five @Ashley on his awesome joke. yeaaaaaaaaaaaah!) Funnily enough, my friend said the same thing only he said to bring a cheap box of condoms to the checkout instead, haha. Might do both! Just ask her.Don't think you would sound like a perv. I mean...why should it? You think she's pretty and want to get to know her. Go for it, ask her out for a drink. If she thinks you're a perv, then she's stupid and you should be glad you dodged that bullet :p Yeah. I'm probably being stupid. I've been out of the game for too long, man! I can talk but then something always puts me off of them but she just seems awesome at the moment.
Kav Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 If you're not comfortable starting up a conversation right away then I reckon you should tell her you think she's good looking at least... but that's it, then leave. Then next time you're in then start up a conversation. Say something like "Hi, I'm sorry about the randomness of this but I just have to say, you are absolutely stunning. Really, breathtaking." Then just walk out. A compliment is at least nice, right?
Goafer Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 If you're not comfortable starting up a conversation right away then I reckon you should tell her you think she's good looking at least... but that's it, then leave. Then next time you're in then start up a conversation.Say something like "Hi, I'm sorry about the randomness of this but I just have to say, you are absolutely stunning. Really, breathtaking." Then just walk out. A compliment is at least nice, right?
Rummy Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Yeah. I'm probably being stupid. I've been out of the game for too long, man! I can talk but then something always puts me off of them but she just seems awesome at the moment. Ok, I'm coming back to serious. Right here, right now - what would you do? Like what would you imagine you'd do next time you see her? I'd say it's as easy as saying the sort of 'hey, you seem cool...wanna hang out sometime?' Of course...how easy is that :p
Zechs Merquise Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Oh and I was speaking to this girl for about a couple of weeks when she decided not to speak to me for a few days. I left it. When she came online the next time, I asked where she were and she said "Sorry, not interested in you, I don't date fat guys" so I said "Cool, I don't date bitches so I'm glad I dodged a bullet" and that were it. She wasn't really a bitch though. She was polite, she apologised and she gave you a clear reason on why she didn't want to date you. To be fair, you can't ask for a fairer situation. People have a variety of standards to which they would hold a future partner too, I've been turned down before because I'm 5'10" and some girls only date guys who are 6' because they like men that are taller and they wear heals a lot. At least they told me the truth! It's far worse, in my opinion, to either be ignored or given a false reason, at least if you know where you're going wrong you can assess the situation fairly! As for asking girls out, after reading your posts you really need to just do what @kav82 said. If you just keep walking past and starring and smiling every time you see her then you will look like a stalker. Just go up to her, say you've seen her around and ask if she'd like to go for a drink with you. The worst thing she can say is 'no'. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Beast Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 She wasn't really a bitch though. She was polite, she apologised and she gave you a clear reason on why she didn't want to date you. To be fair, you can't ask for a fairer situation. People have a variety of standards to which they would hold a future partner too, I've been turned down before because I'm 5'10" and some girls only date guys who are 6' because they like men that are taller and they wear heals a lot. At least they told me the truth! It's far worse, in my opinion, to either be ignored or given a false reason, at least if you know where you're going wrong you can assess the situation fairly! As for asking girls out, after reading your posts you really need to just do what @kav82 said. If you just keep walking past and starring and smiling every time you see her then you will look like a stalker. Just go up to her, say you've seen her around and ask if she'd like to go for a drink with you. The worst thing she can say is 'no'. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. She met me twice though and I said I were overweight ande she said she didnt care. Also, there are politer ways of saying you aren't interested whilst telling the truth. She could have said overweight instead...
Zechs Merquise Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 She met me twice though and I said I were overweight ande she said she didnt care. Also, there are politer ways of saying you aren't interested whilst telling the truth. She could have said overweight instead... One of things you have to remember about men and women is that we are very different creatures. Men look for two things: 1) Is she hot 2) Can I have a laugh with her Women have a list of hundreds of things, I couldn't even list them all! I've been on dates with birds who have literally given me a check list of things men need to do to be with them! It's unreal. That's why when you're just getting out there, you have to realise it's a number game. Chat to enough ladies and sooner or later things will work out. I've been with some really gorgeous women, but I've also been turned down over some of the most laughable things! The key is just brushing yourself off and getting back in the game (or in @Blade's case, back on the lily pad)!
Sheikah Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 She wasn't really a bitch though. She was polite, she apologised and she gave you a clear reason on why she didn't want to date you. I feel like this has gone unnoticed or something, really. You think it's polite to tell someone you won't date them as you don't date fat people? That is actually kinda so inappropriately judged it's funny.
Jonnas Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I feel like this has gone unnoticed or something, really. You think it's polite to tell someone you won't date them as you don't date fat people? That is actually kinda so inappropriately judged it's funny. Honesty is valued. Some people think it's better to hear unpleasant, harsh (or even bigoted) truths, rather than being ignored or lied to. Of course, I think Zechs was simply looking at a glass "slightly full", as opposed to "incredibly empty"
Magnus Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 You should have told her that that's okay, you don't date ugly girls anyway. It would have been the polite (???) thing to do.
Zechs Merquise Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I feel like this has gone unnoticed or something, really. You think it's polite to tell someone you won't date them as you don't date fat people? That is actually kinda so inappropriately judged it's funny. Yes, I don't see anything wrong with it. It's honest and upfront and a genuine reason. Some may see it as a little harsh, but the truth often can be that way - that's just the way of the world. But in relationships the harsh truth is always better than meaningless platitudes that keep you guessing. I've read Animal's posts over the past months and I've seen what has caused him a lot of heartache: being ignored, given the cold shoulder and being fobbed off! There's nothing worse than thinking you have something with someone and then they simply go cold on you and you don't hear from them. Being left guessing is in my opinion the worst thing for anyone. What did you do wrong? Was someone else involved? Is there a problem you could have fixed? Was it something you did? Can you tailor your future approach to avoid doing the same thing? But in this case Animal was given the cold harsh truth - which he accepted and came back with his own response. To be fair, this seems to have done him far less heartache and damage than the times he's been messed around and ignored by people lately - which have left him guessing and sometimes worrying!
Sheikah Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) Honesty is valued. Some people think it's better to hear unpleasant, harsh (or even bigoted) truths, rather than being ignored or lied to. Of course, I think Zechs was simply looking at a glass "slightly full", as opposed to "incredibly empty" She has strung him along by the sounds of things. That's not really the point though; the way she went about it is rude. Telling people you won't date them because they're fat is just plain lack of manners, I think. I'm sure somebody overweight knows they've overweight and doesn't need to hear it. Geez, even the most half arsed 'you're not my type' is less rude than that. After all, they're not your type, so it's not lying. I just don't think you need to remind people of what must be overwhelmingly obvious to them already. Edited December 3, 2013 by Sheikah
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