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I've not been on the internet since... I don't know when.

 

Decided not to pay rent this month because of festivities and stuff. Had a mostly good weekend, but more and more I just feel left out, trodden on, unwanted, misunderstood, overlooked, weak, puny, insignificant, emo, emo, etc. I think I'm reaching 'clinically depressed' levels and I don't think there's a soul in my life who really gives a shit.

 

And I'm resorting to posting about it on the internet. FML.

 

*gets a drink*

 

Your almost turning into me, becareful.

 

Read MLIA instead of FML, its nicer and funnier. :grin:

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Anyway, after the do we went to town (ReZ, you should have too!) and ''married man from work'' bought a couple of us champagne which was lovely. He kept saying how he couldn't believe I was single, blah blah blah; I'm worried that I gave the impression I would, if he wasn't married. OH GOD.

 

I know I really did want to come, but it was for my own good that I didn't. *Sigh*

 

Oh well the leaving do will be amazing I'm sure. We'll have to just go out again sometime anyway.

 

Tom is being really nice to me/us today. He apologised for what he called me and replied to all my emails, and emailed me. It was crazy/refreshing/good. Lol. He said do you want to go cinema tomorrow? Either The Box (Cameron Diaz, hmmm) or if you guys wanna see Paranormal Activity I'd be up for seeing it again.

 

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Work was ridiculous. Our company is so bad its a parody of itself. Its completely ridiculous. We literally can't do anything right. So it was busy at work.

 

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Just booked my MOT. Should be good/interesting. I hope it can pass the MOT without a working heater matrix.

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I'm getting really stressed about all this work I'm having to do now. It's finally taking it's toll, but I don't want to go into the Christmas holidays all pissed off and worrying about exams and work I still have to do so I guess it can only be a good thing that I'm working my hardest to get it all done before I go home.

 

I'm well tired too, like I sleep loads but I'm still a grumpy bastard during the day, it's not fair! Dexter tonight and DH if I get these lab reports done, which I'm cracking on with now.

 

I want to hibernate for the next 4 months.

 

EDIT: I just got a letter saying I'm getting my bursary from the Uni after 2 months of being told I wasn't going to. SCORE!

Edited by Razz
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Tom is being really nice to me/us today. He apologised for what he called me and replied to all my emails, and emailed me. It was crazy/refreshing/good. Lol. He said do you want to go cinema tomorrow? Either The Box (Cameron Diaz, hmmm) or if you guys wanna see Paranormal Activity I'd be up for seeing it again.

 

You'll either LOVE The Box, or hate it. Competely. If I know you.

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Whooo, I finally sent off my story (including ideas that some lovely N-E people gave me) to three writers! Was wondering if I should send it to more but I think three will do for now. Let's see who will bite!

 

Other than that, I had a nap today (mmm sleep), snacked on lots of bad things (mmm chocolate) and played some Brawl (mmm games).

You'd think with my jury on Friday I'd actually be doing some work heh. =P

 

*will so regret all this slacking at the end of the week*

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Today felt like the culling of my art college. It was the portfolio review/tutorial thing, where we bring in al our stuff and a tutor goes through things they like, their comments, what to put in a folio, if you're applying for art college this year (this course is 1 year only).

 

A friend of mine who is literally atrocious at art, quite unbelievably, and yet got in to this course, was basically told not to apply and to retract his UCAS, as was another friend of mine, but it was more of a decision on her part. She's got some real talent but she obviously knows she doesn't actually enjoy art that much.

 

I wasn't ripped to shreds like that, but my tutor pointed out that I have no final pieces from this course that are unique to me (really), as most either didn't work or never got finished in time, so come exhbition time (really soon)), it'll look a bit crap. Which kinda makes me depressed, since I wanted to learn how to actually do good things in a short amount of time (i.e finish them), but I think it does rest on my shoulders. Simplify ideas and actually do them efficiently...

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Finally managed to arrange when Han is coming up, with it now being early Thursday morning. Words can't describe how happy that makes me, but it hit me just how much work I need to get done before then. So many essays, so little time. Yet instead of working hard getting them done now...I'm watching The Hot Chick. Why is getting work started so damn hard!

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I turned up to teach a class today only to find an empty classroom. WTF i said to myself! So i rang the class monitor and set her straight, but then i felt bad because the Chinese always have a way of apologising. Turns out my students had a mandarin test and neglected to tell me. They are so genuine when they say sorry though so its just too hard to stay mad at them!

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Why do I always keep feeling tired? I don't get it. I never seem to have any energy, which makes me lazy and not do any work. =(

 

I'm contemplating skipping school today. I have a 2 hour class to go to, but it just feels a bit pointless as I know they won't be talking about anything interesting today. Plus I'm too lazy to go all the way to school for two hours... And just feeling a bit weird about a few things. Ah just want to go back to sleeeeep. Mmmm sleep.

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Why do I always keep feeling tired? I don't get it. I never seem to have any energy, which makes me lazy and not do any work. =(

 

I'm contemplating skipping school today. I have a 2 hour class to go to, but it just feels a bit pointless as I know they won't be talking about anything interesting today. Plus I'm too lazy to go all the way to school for two hours... And just feeling a bit weird about a few things. Ah just want to go back to sleeeeep. Mmmm sleep.

 

I'm like this. I find it's out of two things.

 

1 is because I hardly do anything all day and 2 is the weather. Because it's gotten colder, I find myself wake up and then fall asleep again and wake up at 12pm or something ridiculous. In the summer or when the weather is hot or decent, I can wake up just fine without feeling tired. Now, I feel tired when I wake up.

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Well today has taken a turn for the worse. My friend called me to tell me she's quitting school. She was the only girl in my class out of 5. The only person I could talk to in class. And since now she's quitting I don't see how I can get myself to go to illustration classes anymore...

 

I feel miserable. ='(

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Why do I always keep feeling tired? I don't get it. I never seem to have any energy, which makes me lazy and not do any work. =(

 

I'm contemplating skipping school today. I have a 2 hour class to go to, but it just feels a bit pointless as I know they won't be talking about anything interesting today. Plus I'm too lazy to go all the way to school for two hours... And just feeling a bit weird about a few things. Ah just want to go back to sleeeeep. Mmmm sleep.

 

This came up on Frasier yesterday (its as good a medical source as any surely) and was suggested it might be hypoglycemia and to try some protein in the morning. Although looking on Wiki it also suggests carbohydrates.

 

(it was also suggested that the desire to stay in bed is like the desire to regress to the womb... I was lay in bed feeling all comfy then suddenly felt weird)

 

Laaazy morning. I need to do stuff. Like drawing stuff. Which I'm sure I'll do right after I watch Gossip Girl and eat lunch...I'm sure of it :/

 

Had a weirdish dream last night. I was in NYC and one of the Seasame Street characters was my taxi driver. We drove past a Tescos Mortuary (complete with 'Tescos Value' style decoration) and then went to my friend's house...which seemed to be a mix between two of my friends who live about 200 miles apart and have never met (and neither are in NYC...) but it had his dogs and her child in. Odd.

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I'm contemplating skipping school today. I have a 2 hour class to go to, but it just feels a bit pointless as I know they won't be talking about anything interesting today. Plus I'm too lazy to go all the way to school for two hours...

 

This is my day so far.

 

Now I've made a start on my third essay, festively titled 'Discuss the differences between suicide, self-sacrifice and voluntary death.'

 

Bonza.

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Now I've made a start on my third essay, festively titled 'Discuss the differences between suicide, self-sacrifice and voluntary death.'

 

Give me when finished :p Sounds interesting.

 

So I've played some God Of War. Don't know what to do until I'll visit my uncle.

 

Love 30 Seconds To Mars' new record.

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Give me when finished :p Sounds interesting.

 

It's an amazing topic. Just requires SO much reading, it makes me want to shoot myself. Just asked my lecturer if I could use Hunter S Thompson as an example of voluntary death (as long as I can establish it as a Schopenhauerian death) and he said yes. Woo!!

 

...now to read up on Schopenhauer...

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