Ashley Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Y After a bit more digging and a lot more question asking from me, she revealed to me that she wanted to originally sit me down and say to me that she didn't think she was good enough for me, before this whole thing happened. Its easy to say after an event what you would have done different; its more difficult to accept what happened and to realise you should have changed before. I kinda glanced through the convo but it seemed slightly voyeuristic. I know you posted it but still. But remember; hugs all around.
Dyson Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I'm sorry, but What does dis key unlaaaack? says:i know it takes 2 to tangle Made my day :P The guy seems like he kunderstands the magnitude of what he's done - at least he recognizes that.
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 I'm sorry, but Made my day :P The guy seems like he kunderstands the magnitude of what he's done - at least he recognizes that. Shup. To my credit, I did edit it in the next post. Ahh, not much has changed, though. I'm pretty much still in the same situation. Dunno what to do now, tbh.
Ten10 Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 Well lets put it this way, you can end it because of the pain it has caused you, or you can stay. And just like two sides of a coin either way can have good a good or bad outcome. You could stay together and end up having a happy rest of your life. You could stay together but it doesn't quite work out. Its a difficult choice that you have to make. And only you can make it. Now everyone stop telling him what to do.
Katie Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 I find it very strange that you had that conversation with him but as long as it made you feel a bit better. I don't think anyone can really judge what decision you make about this, and you said to him everyone keeps telling you to do something - there's no rush, it's an important decision and you shouldn't rush into it, even if you're desperate for this part to be over.
KKOB Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 *Biggest and Best hug in the world EVER!!!* I hate these questions of trust, they do my head in. I'm glad to see your moving on and clearing your head now dude. So your probably reach a decision soon methinks. If it was me, and i had gone through something similar to what you have i would probably try and see if it could work but taking things really slowly and if i found there wasn't any level of trust anymore, or that i couldn't stop thinking about what she/they had done then i'd have to step away. Thats just me personally but you know whats right for you in your heart like Ten10 says. In a side note, who the fuck types like that on msn!!! its almost as if he has an IQ of 23.
Ten10 Posted January 14, 2007 Posted January 14, 2007 *Biggest and Best hug in the world EVER!!!*In a side note, who the fuck types like that on msn!!! its almost as if he has an IQ of 23. I know what you mean I had a hard time understanding most of it, and what the heck is maridge. Anyway on a side note: You managed to type my nickname and it wasn't censored. Its a miracle, the curse has been lifted.
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 14, 2007 Author Posted January 14, 2007 I know what you mean I had a hard time understanding most of it, and what the heck is maridge. Anyway on a side note: You managed to type my nickname and it wasn't censored. Its a miracle, the curse has been lifted. Yeah, after getting a PM from Shorty we decided to tweak the 10 10 system. Your name works now. Yeah, txt speak angers me. Although, do not hate my name, I never use "dis" really, but I really wanted to capture the true essence of arnie. There is no "t" according to arnie. Anyway, cheers for the support.
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 There is no "t" according to arnie. Bullshit. In saying Uzi Nine Milimeeetaaah, he uses a T.
Iun Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Ask yourself this: can you trust yourself to trust her again? If the answer is no, then the way forward is to move on, hard though it is. If you can, then you are a better man than I. If not, then.. there will be others. I won't lie to you, you will never love another like you love Becky, but you will love differently. And sometimes, that is better. What I said in my PM still stands.
Platty Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Bullshit. In saying Uzi Nine Milimeeetaaah, he uses a T. and in Terminator 2 when asked what is that?? Arnie replies with "thats a T-1000" of something similar... but still he uses a "t" /tangent
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 15, 2007 Author Posted January 15, 2007 There's minimal use of the "t". Minimal! Ok, progress has been made. We've decided that we are on a break, and during that break, somethings need to be changed. Firstly, her attitude. She needs to just understand that I do love for who she is, and that people like her for who she is. At times, it feels like she's trying to be something that she isn't. Secondly, her self respect. She needs to know when she's doing something wrong and when to stop. Lastly, she needs to come to terms with what she's done. She understands she's made a huge mistake and now we're dealing with the consequences. This doesn't mean we'll definitely get back together, but this could be considered the start of a second chance.
ZeldaFreak Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 There's minimal use of the "t". Minimal! Ok, progress has been made. We've decided that we are on a break, and during that break, somethings need to be changed. Firstly, her attitude. She needs to just understand that I do love for who she is, and that people like her for who she is. At times, it feels like she's trying to be something that she isn't. Secondly, her self respect. She needs to know when she's doing something wrong and when to stop. Lastly, she needs to come to terms with what she's done. She understands she's made a huge mistake and now we're dealing with the consequences. This doesn't mean we'll definitely get back together, but this could be considered the start of a second chance. No offence or anything to you fierce but if it was me I would say its her fault which it is. So leave her. She obvisouly doesn't love you
ReZourceman Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Just read the thread, Geeus how can one guy have so much bad luck. You still seem UBER calm. Im sorry as I dont have any advice, but if you do get back together, at least this could be something so minor compared to the rest of your life?
Gentleben Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 There's minimal use of the "t". Minimal! Ok, progress has been made. We've decided that we are on a break, and during that break, somethings need to be changed. Firstly, her attitude. She needs to just understand that I do love for who she is, and that people like her for who she is. At times, it feels like she's trying to be something that she isn't. Secondly, her self respect. She needs to know when she's doing something wrong and when to stop. Lastly, she needs to come to terms with what she's done. She understands she's made a huge mistake and now we're dealing with the consequences. This doesn't mean we'll definitely get back together, but this could be considered the start of a second chance. A Break? a Break? .......Bah. I know you both love each other but once a cheater always a cheater. There are somethings you just don't get second chances on and this is one of them. She has shown her true character in sleeping around-she knew what she was doing was wrong-she clearly had no thought for your feeling. I think you can do so much better.
Cube Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 A Break? a Break? .......Bah. I know you both love each other but once a cheater always a cheater. Not necessarily. A break is probably the best thing you could do Flink. See how things go between you during the break, and then (after a few weeks perhaps) think about if/when to get back together.
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I wouldn't exactly call it a break, normally it's something both people agree on and then do it [The break, not sex.] But she was a whore who shat all over your trust and the however long you said you were together. THEN you decide you're on a break? Sounds like you're trying to kid yourself by pretending it's not happening.
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 15, 2007 Author Posted January 15, 2007 Not necessarily. A break is probably the best thing you could do Flink. See how things go between you during the break, and then (after a few weeks perhaps) think about if/when to get back together. Yeah, that's pretty much the feeling behind it. Sorta. Eevil: This is kinda like an 'official' break. It was a bit obvious that we weren't together anymore, but only then did I really state that we needed time apart to think and breathe. To be honest, the last few days have just been me asking questions of her and figuring out why this all happened. Fuck knows how this is gonna turn out. Some might say that having an unpredictable life is fun, but I like feeling stable or knowing that things are safe. Gah.
Rummy Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 You know, from that conversation, the other guy actually seemed kind of like an all right dude(despite how he types), funny thing is, it also makes him seem like a ****. The fact that basically the same thing has happened to him makes me think he should be even more understanding about it all and shouldn't have done anything. Drunk or not, he knew exactly what it was like and shouldn't have done it at all. That really really pisses me off, when people know they're cheating, when they know how much hurt they could be causing. Then again, maybe he's bitter, maybe he thought why the hell not, it happened to him and why should anyone else get better than him. Of course, thats the more selfish human way to go, but it takes alot to not be bitter about something like that. I read this thread more, and it sounds like your ex had some big insecurities, which is probably how/why this all happened, and why she said that stuff about how she didnt love you and you deserve better, but that in no way at all excuses it. Are you still angry with her? Do you honestly think you could ever forgive her, really? If you don't, and truly don't, then theres no point in trying to salvage it in my opinion.
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 15, 2007 Author Posted January 15, 2007 You know, from that conversation, the other guy actually seemed kind of like an all right dude(despite how he types), funny thing is, it also makes him seem like a ****. The fact that basically the same thing has happened to him makes me think he should be even more understanding about it all and shouldn't have done anything. Drunk or not, he knew exactly what it was like and shouldn't have done it at all. That really really pisses me off, when people know they're cheating, when they know how much hurt they could be causing.[/Quote] That bugged me, too. If he's suffered the same heartbreak as I have, why would he wish it on someone else? What happened to him was horrible, imo, but he doesn't need to do the same to others. He's just as bad. Then again, maybe he's bitter, maybe he thought why the hell not, it happened to him and why should anyone else get better than him. Of course, thats the more selfish human way to go, but it takes alot to not be bitter about something like that.[/Quote] Maybe he just doesn't care anymore. Thats the sorta impression I got. He can't forgive his first girlfriend for what she did, and its ruining his next lot of relationships. I really don't want to end up like that. I read this thread more, and it sounds like your ex had some big insecurities, which is probably how/why this all happened, and why she said that stuff about how she didnt love you and you deserve better, but that in no way at all excuses it. Are you still angry with her? Do you honestly think you could ever forgive her, really? If you don't, and truly don't, then theres no point in trying to salvage it in my opinion. She has got some big insecurities, and thats one of her biggest problems. Whether we stay together or we call it a day, she's always going to have that, unless she decides to do something about it. It doesn't excuse what she did, you're definitiely right. On the surface, it looks like I'm not angry, but deep down I still am. I may be calm or whatever, but I still feel angry. About the forgiveness thing, I don't know. Thats what this break is for, for me to just collect my thoughts and just figure out how I truely feel about her. Its a bit too soon to think about forgiveness, etc, I feel. Edit: Shut up, Ross.
Jav_NE Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Well, whatever you do from now, make it up to her if she wants to get back with you. Dont yourself make the effort for what she's done, if she doesn't do as promised and come crawling back then she's not worth it, if she really cared she'd be so sorry she'd be doing everything to make it up to you. I hate cheaters, i'd never cheat in my life, they make me sick. Both the cheater and the one being used to cheat with, how can they when they know this man or woman has a boyfriend/grilfriend. Fuckin wankers the lot of em.
Platty Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I think you have done the right thing with this break flinky. Try to have a good birthday night out to take your mind off things for a bit.
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 15, 2007 Author Posted January 15, 2007 Cheers, dudes in red. Well, we've cut down my 2 birthday nights out into just 1 this week and 1 next week. I'm off out with some friends tonight. My mate is having trouble with her boyfriend, so we've made a pact to have some fun tonight. Out on the pull, for the first time ever. (thats pretty much a lie, I couldn't pull if I tried, d'oh)
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 if she really cared she'd be so sorry she'd be doing everything to make it up to you. But then you've got the obvious factor of if she really cared she wouldn't have done it at all.
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