Rate the last film you saw

[chairdriver]

A strange combination of a source material that is in the constant present of trying to explain its own existence with endless back-stories that are just defining their own necessity for characters that are relentlessly defined by a past that is currently, and will be, told to us, with a director that is so firmly etched into the present day that his movies will probably be remembered in association with their precise timing of their opening show, the number of tickets sold and not any form of culturally relevant reviews (because the reviews themselves are, like a colour in a line-up, perpeptually locked in a struggle of self-recognition, and thus actually never have anything meaningful to say), nor any profoud truths, which is quite scenester, if you ask me, that mesmerises the audience with its ceaceless promise of success that really only metamorphosises into little more than a "nooooooooooo" and a hilariously ironic exploded-body blood-splatter and a cat with horns that was treated as if even the film-makers were pretending it wasn't even there, let alone the audience as they hum along to the "oh, it's not being explained because there's a source material quick let's pre-order it on amazon for when it comes out with a "Now made into a feature film/motion picture/blockbuster/whore" tagline so we can really show that-dude-who-originally-wrote-that-souce-material-stuff-we've-heard-so-much-about-quick-let's-pre-order-a- who we love and send our appreciation bribes to.

 

I MEAN COME ON. This film is living off of the hype to such extremities it is getting away with murder.

 

slash out of ten.

 

I agree to an extent.

 

But then I think things don't always have to be explained. Like the lovely cat. You just have to accept its existence.

 

Suspension of disbelief and all that jazz.

 

 

I'm upset they didn't include the lovely story about why Rorschach wears that mask. Lovely dress of a murdered woman, with the black and white never mixing - portraying his absolutism when it comes to his views.

[ReZourceman]

Man on Wire

 

Interesting and visually astounding/pleasing.

 

8/10

 

Pineapple Express

 

Loltastic

 

8.5/10

[jayseven]

What was wrong with the sex scene? Unpolished? What are you jabbering on about?

 

The film's plot is nowhere near as important as 'the dilemmas of functioning in a world losing hope', and Snyder did a damn good job of that.

 

I understand the lack of cohesiveness relative to the comic but in itself I didn't see a problem. Any relatives to the comic are stupid; not worth mentioning.

 

Roger Ebert agrees with me and, as the greatest film critic in existence, it only bolsters my view of the film.

 

1st off, stop basing what you think on the Roger Ebert's of the world, ok? Because the critics are pretty much just showing the complete bunch of assholes they are because they're hating the film for the stupidest reason ever, which is that it collapses because it sticks to the original too much, and reveres it too much. That much I can't judge as I can't see the movie through the eyes of someone who has never read the book. That much being said, here's my two cents:

The plot is all very well adapted, I really like what Snyder's team did with the story (except for Rorschach, they kinda changed his backstory for the worse...). The problem was never the plot, it's that Snyder obviously lost track of his own work halfway through, because I can tell you right here, I was truly loving the damn film up to a certain point, but then, in comes the part where decisions have to be made on how to keep things going, and that's when Snyder's efforts fell flat upon themselves. The whole film starts feeling disjointed and very amateur-ish in it's execution, especially in the sex scene, the prison break scene and the final scene... Yes, unpolished, up to a certain point you have a film with virtually no major flaws to speak of, which has no problem in doing things it's own way and is completely unrelenting and uncompromising. Then all of a sudden, in comes a sex scene straight out of glossy hollywood, joined together with an overclimatic feel and one of the worst audio placements I've ever witnessed in any film. In one word? Cheesy. Unnecessary. He could've turned that scene into a regular sex scene, with to real people, as he so hard had worked to make them into up to that point, but no, he had to go all grandiose and turn it into the most climatic scene in the film... which would be just fine if the whole film carried on in that tone up to the end, but no... in the end you have a scene where a guy reveals that HE JUST TRICKED THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD INTO SAVING ITSELF FROM A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST, by sacrificing millions of people and completely outcasting one of his friends, and everyone's acting like they're walking a dog in the park... where the fuck's the climax now? Now that you really should've used the climax, after you got everyone's hopes up for it after that sex scene and the completely action packed prison break scene, you treat the new world's dawn with apathy!! That, my good sir, is uncohesiveness! This isn't like Funny Games, this isn't a cinematic statement! This isn't unrelenting or uncompromising... this is just plain bad film making. And don't come crying to me about how "he did it to break away from conventions", because the guy we're talking about here got himself bullied into cutting almost 50 mins of film... and he didn't even fight back, he just nodded (by the way, I have yet to see the real film, as the director's cut that's coming out on DVD, that's the one I really care about and am looking forward to). Snyder has talent... but he lacks the balls to carry out his job the way he wants to do it himself... because that first hour... that first hour of film is some of the best film I've seen in the last few years!! And that's the spirit he got bullied out of, that's the movie he didn't have the balls to make... because without even knowing it, I'd bet everything that the god damned sex scene and prison scene would've been quite different if he had the final say.

 

I'm not saying this is a terrible film, because it isn't... and it certainly doesn't shame the book... as the script is the perfect adaptation of the comic... the film's true problem isn't that the book is better... but that it could've been much better without changing the god damn script. It could've been a brilliant film. It could have.

Best comeback ever. Shame you copy/pasted it from word (I hope), or whatever. We like thinking you write your words for us, and us alone!

 

Snyder didn't film the movie in the order presented, so if the first hour was good and not the rest then, in the movie world, the real test of a director is in being able to work your magic with the editing machine. The man was fucking lucky to get the job, I'm sure he was grateful and aware that no matter what happens, the job the author did in the first place ensured him success with teh movie, financially. There was no way this movie would be his last, and even if the next movie he makes flops, he will no doubt be getting one hell of a check to make it. Having the balls to combine real-world work ethic with something you truly care about isn't something you learn without making a few mistakes.

 

No paragraphs.

I was gonna say that!

And I forgot to mention... and I really mean this... best opening credits in a LONG while. Just astonishingly good.

I forgot about the opening! Didn't even seem like credits.

Woah dude, full stops?? And I assume you're talking about Watchmen?

I was going for a record sentance! I think I got pretty close.

I agree to an extent.

 

But then I think things don't always have to be explained. Like the lovely cat. You just have to accept its existence.

 

Suspension of disbelief and all that jazz.

 

 

I'm upset they didn't include the lovely story about why Rorschach wears that mask. Lovely dress of a murdered woman, with the black and white never mixing - portraying his absolutism when it comes to his views.

 

Now that's just gay.

[Ashley]

I'd imagine Synder was so incredibly over budget, no matter what astronomical budget he did have, that he had little choice but to agree to cuts. Plus publically announcing "we cut stuff out!" makes the audience (or, the 'hardcore' audience) see the film, and then the more expensive directors cut DVD.

 

I think audiences can suspend their disbelief enough to just accept Ozy's pet, although it would have been nice to mention its a recreation of whatever it was based on, memory is shitty. Its not like everything else was pure realistic, but it was realism. Personally if anything I wanna know where I can get pattern shifting fabric from...

[chairdriver]

Now that's just gay.

 

What, the fact that the cat is incredibly lovely?

[Daft]

I think I read about 50 minutes was cut out. I don't think that includes the Black Freighter.

[chairdriver]

I think audiences can suspend their disbelief enough to just accept Ozy's pet, although it would have been nice to mention its a recreation of whatever it was based on, memory is shitty. Its not like everything else was pure realistic, but it was realism. Personally if anything I wanna know where I can get pattern shifting fabric from...

 

The cat works in the book, because it comes from the same project that created the alien.

 

And the mask is explained in the book - he works in a tailor warehouse remember?

[Mundi]

I hated that boobasstits (i´m a funny guy) was there.

she was a test of the whole Squid thing and was made as a test to see if the Squid could be made, in the movie it´just there for the sake of keeping the sweaty nerds happy

 

[Ashley]

he works in a tailor warehouse remember?

 

Evidentally not

[Slaggis]

Sex Drive

 

Best "Teen" movie, in years. Fucking loved every minute of it. I think I must have cried laughing, at least three times. It muuuust be seen.

 

Hilarious/10.

[Beast]

Sex Drive

 

Best "Teen" movie, in years. Fucking loved every minute of it. I think I must have cried laughing, at least three times. It muuuust be seen.

 

Hilarious/10.

 

Thank you!

[ReZourceman]

EXACTLY.

 

See. Can't see the hate. As you said, best teen film in years (I'd put it with the greats along with American Pie and Road Trip)

[Slaggis]

EXACTLY.

 

See. Can't see the hate. As you said, best teen film in years (I'd put it with the greats along with American Pie and Road Trip)

 

Have I missed all the hatred for it? I had no idea people didn't like it. How can you not?! "I just beaved a family of four". If that's not amazing, I don't know what is.

[Oxigen_Waste]

As you said, best teen film in years (I'd put it with the greats along with American Pie and Road Trip)

 

So many things wrong in one sentence. ReZ, everyone loves you, but sometimes (just sometimes) I hate you.

 

Shame you copy/pasted it from word (I hope), or whatever. We like thinking you write your words for us, and us alone!

 

I did no such thing. I wrote that at the time, just because.

[Nolan]

Sex Drive is a terrible movie, just terrible. It has it's moments, but they're few and far between, which would be fine except all the time in between those moments it's trying with so much effort to be funny and just comes off as incredibly stupid and unfunny.

 

Pissing in the radiator, not funny

Portrayal of the Amish, not funny

Main characters brother attacking the garage door, and some dude on the sidewalk, funny

Those whole donut thing, not funny (including the dong on it)

The kid about to get poo'd on by the married chick, funny.

 

Just examples.

[Slaggis]

Sex Drive is a terrible movie, just terrible. It has it's moments, but they're few and far between, which would be fine except all the time in between those moments it's trying with so much effort to be funny and just comes off as incredibly stupid and unfunny.

 

Pissing in the radiator, not funny

Portrayal of the Amish, not funny

Main characters brother attacking the garage door, and some dude on the sidewalk, funny

Those whole donut thing, not funny (including the dong on it)

The kid about to get poo'd on by the married chick, funny.

 

Just examples.

 

See, I didn't find the garage door thing funny. However, I thought Seth Green, and the radiator thing (Aka "I just beaved a family of four" was hilarious.

 

Thats why you can't really say for definite whether a comedy movie sucks...because everyones sense of humour differs.

[Oxigen_Waste]

Thats why you can't really say for definite whether a comedy movie sucks...because everyones sense of humour differs.

 

Yet, there's better humour. I mean, who would ever try to argue that American Pie is superior to Holy Grail or Dr Strangelove or Duck Soup? Of course, one might preffer American Pie, but that only applies to the microverse that is one's own existence.

 

Battle Royale 1 + 2

 

Both are my favourite movies. Though the first one is way better, the second one is still entertaining enough. And there's going to be another american remake of Battle Royale ( )

 

9/10

 

Don't be a hypocrite. If you liked the second movie why would a remake of the first one make you sad? You either like crap or you don't... what's it gonna be?

[Jimbob]

Dyson, EEVIL will be proud.

 

Anywho, the Jim Carrey movie marathon i planned didn't go down as planned. I only managed 2 movies because of pool, helping in the house and generally people having problems that only i can solve. Anyway, these are the two Carrey movies i watched

 

The Mask

 

An early Carrey outing as the party animal with a green face. Awesome movie complete with the humour you would expect. 9.5/10

 

The Number 23

 

A later Carrey outing, this time a more dark and sinister outing. It can mess with your mind for a while with all the 23 references and all that, but it is a good film so it gets 8/10

[welsh_gamer]

Pale Rider

It was an ok Western, but there was nothing original or memorable about it. Was expecting more considering Eastwood directed it aswell.

 

Never Say Never Again

I know this isn't an official Bond film, and it's been many years since I last saw it, and I didn't think much of it back then, but I rather enjoyed it this time round. Connery play's Bond well and there are enough decent set-pieces and humourous moments to keep you watching.

 

K19 : The Widowmaker

Great performances, even if Ford and Neeson can't seem to decide on which nationality their characters are. Rather boring though. Should of been 30minutes less.

 

Ratatouille

Again, I didn't think much of this when I first saw it, maybe because I still had memories of Cars on my mind, but this is slowly becoming my third most watched Pixar film, Great stuff!

 

 

The Mask

 

An early Carrey outing as the party animal with a green face. Awesome movie complete with the humour you would expect. 9.5/10

 

You know, I've never got around to watching this in full. I have vague memories of watching it in Primary School of all place's, when I was around 8, but since then, zilch. I must purchase it soon.

[Paj!]

I am tempted to watch Sex Drive to see if it gets funny at any point, maybe they just left the humour out of the trailer...but then I remember I have much better things I want to watch/spend my time on.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Dyson, EEVIL will be proud.

Fucking right. I bought it him.

[Dyson]

Dyson, EEVIL will be proud.

funny you should say that, you s--

 

Fucking right. I bought it him.

 

Oh, beaten to it.

 

(Thanks EEVIL!)

[Daft]

Cloverfield

 

I keep swinging between crap and entertaining.

 

Why does the monster vary in size?

How the hell do those buildings have the structural integrity to stay upright like that?

How does that camera have so much battery?

When Rob goes into the shop to nick a new battery for his phone is he aware that they don't come charged?

Why would they nuke Manhattan when there is a pretty big chance that most people haven't left?

If they evacuated everyone, how many helicopters exactly does it take to rescue over 1.5 million people?

How on Earth is the monster not dead from the military blowing it to Hell?

And if it could survive all this, why not use chemicals to knock it out/burn it's insides?

How did the camera survive the nuclear blast?

 

Stupid/10

[fex]

Cloverfield

 

 

Stupid/10

AGREED!

I do hate it when people ramble on about how great this film is. It isn't it's just stupid.

 

Sure, lets go rescue this girl in an area of the city in which the monster roams, in a building which has half collapsed. Oh BTW my brother died, but I don't care.

[Chris the great]

Watchmen

 

I'd like to pretend that i'm mature but I cant.

 

BIG GLOWING BLUE COCK!

 

stole every scene, was easily the most captivating part of the film for me.

 

actual film was pretty patchy tbh. felt unpolished, like a badly edited basic gist, to much story crammed in, never truly explored in much depth. felt like it should have been over a couple of films at least.

 

action was decent, and it had its moments, but overall, a slightly dull, average film. could have been much better but could easily have been alot worse.

 

BIG GLOWING BLUE COCK!/10