Goron_3 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Yeah if there's grass on the wicket, it's already too late.
Goafer Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 That's one of the negatives I find about working in a small company. The only "ladies" here is a 40-year old with husband and kids and a 16-year-old. I work for a small company too, but because it's a creative job it seems to attract the nice ones. Either that or we don't hire ugly women. To be honest, it wouldn't surprise me.
Will Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 There's three things that make something work (in my experience): - Hotness (Do you fancy each other) - Coolness (Do you get on with each other) - Timing (Did the above two happen at the right time) Age plays indirectly into all three, mostly the 3rd though, as the bigger the gap the less likely the timing will be right for both of you. The girl I'm seeing at the moment is 22 years older than me. The first two are 100% fulfilled, but the 3rd isn't whatsoever. We both know that though, so we'll enjoy each others company while it feels right. I don't think it's worth worrying about things with new people, just go for it and see how it goes. The reality is you'll know if it's right or not regardless of the circumstances.
Coolness Bears Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 There is only two things you need Coolness (Do you get on with each other?) and Bears!
Dog-amoto Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 I've been invited to a new year party by a female friend and her husband. She said that a load of her mates are going, and most of them are single. She's becoming quite insistent that I go, I think she's trying to set me up with one of her mates. And I turned it down, mainly for that reason. Made a different excuse though of course! Just not interested in meeting anyone new at the moment.
Diageo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I'm in a similar situation where a female friend and her boyfriend have invited me to a new year's party. Except that the boyfriend didn't invite me and isn't going. And probably doesn't know I'm going. And she's probably not trying to set me up with one of her mates because she's the only one going. It's really not a similar situation at all...
Ashley Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I'm in a different situation (but it involves NYE) but someone I'm interested in invited me out for drinks but their ex is going and will be crashing at theirs so I can't. OH WELL! (actually I'm disappointed but knew it was a possibility)
Cube Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I've been invited to a new year party by a female friend and her husband. She said that a load of her mates are going, and most of them are single. She's becoming quite insistent that I go, I think she's trying to set me up with one of her mates. And I turned it down, mainly for that reason. Made a different excuse though of course! Just not interested in meeting anyone new at the moment. Can I go instead?
Gizmo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 One of my new years resolutions is that I need to ask out one of the girls off my course. I'm friends with her and the group that she is always with in lectures, but I never see her alone. I've decided that come the new term I'm going to ask her to go for a drink. Which might be difficult / awkward, but I'll find a way. Time for me to move on with life.
MoogleViper Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 I've been invited to a new year party by a female friend and her husband. She said that a load of her mates are going, and most of them are single. She's becoming quite insistent that I go, I think she's trying to set me up with one of her mates. And I turned it down, mainly for that reason. Made a different excuse though of course! Just not interested in meeting anyone new at the moment. I'm in a similar situation where a female friend and her boyfriend have invited me to a new year's party. Except that the boyfriend didn't invite me and isn't going. And probably doesn't know I'm going. And she's probably not trying to set me up with one of her mates because she's the only one going. It's really not a similar situation at all... I'm in a similar situation as well. There's this girl who I like and I think likes me who asked me to go to town, but she has a boyfriend, who isn't going, and neither is she, and neither am I, because nobody has invited me anywhere, and I'll spend NYE at home, alone, watching Jools Holland, again. So yeah practically the same situation as you two.
Serebii Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Still unable to make inital first contact with females. I don't know how you guys do it. Was out tonight, a few eyeing me up...but I just couldn't make contact What do you say? How do you converse with them? What subject should be utilised? I'm determined to make sure 2012 isn't as shit for me romantically as 2011...and 2010...and 2009...and 2008...and all but the first day of 2007 Help
Goafer Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 What do you say? What would you say to your friends? How do you converse with them? How would you converse with your friends? What subject should be utilised? What subjects do you utilise with your friends? Basically, pretend they're a friend. Conversation usually flows well with them (I assume). Just think about how you get a conversation going with them, then think of a way to apply it to a stranger.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I know I'm probably the worst person to get flirting advice from, but I can confirm that there's much truth in what Goafer says. The best you can do is get yourself to relax, and the best way to do that is to not worry about how you'll do. I find it usually helps to think: "What's the worst that can happen? Sure, I can get rejected, but I won't have lost anything, so there's no reason not to try." It's much easier said than done, of course. I know that better than anyone.
My Buttons are Magic! Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Some advice from a girl :P Goafer is right. The best way to talk to a girl to "chat them up" (awful phrase) is to not talk to them as if you are tryin to "chat them up". Unless you are tryin to give them a giggle for the night then go ahead use all the chat up lines you can :P
Serebii Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Holding up conversation I can do...it's just beginning it that's the issue :/ And the worst that can happen isn't rejection...it's a knife to the eye
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 And the worst that can happen isn't rejection...it's a knife to the eye Hey, some girls express rejection in their own way ... :p If you fear a knife to the eye, perhaps you should reconsider the type of girls you talk to?
MoogleViper Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 If you fear a knife to the eye, perhaps you should reconsider the type of girls you talk to? Are you saying that I should stop trying to chat up Scarry Barbara?
Serebii Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Hey, some girls express rejection in their own way ... :p If you fear a knife to the eye, perhaps you should reconsider the type of girls you talk to? Was more thinking of them having a boyfriend who then suddenly shows up, has a high blood alcohol level and thus reverts to his basic instincts and stabs me in the eye
Retro_Link Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) Holding up conversation I can do...it's just beginning it that's the issue :/ And the worst that can happen isn't rejection...it's a knife to the eye 'I was holding her attention, we were laughing... it finally looked like I was getting somewhere! ... then I took an arrow to the knee knife to the eye.' Edited December 31, 2011 by Retro_Link
Ashley Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Realistically speaking the eye is quite a small target, coupled with an alcohol intake you're more likely to get stabbed somewhere in the torso and chicks love scars. It's a win win.
jayseven Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 You'll never get anywhere if you don't do anything, serebii. That's basically it. Man up and go for it. You have nothing to lose. If there's a boyfriend then hey, no biggie, you were just talking to the girl, right? You're fixated on seeing these girls as emblems of all this built up hope and promise -- just go out and chat to them as if they're normal human beings and just see if you get on. If they block you or ignore you or whatever, then that's that, move on. Sitting back and just mentally constructing a maze where a is you on one side of the pub or club, and b is your penis inside her... well that's just futile, facile, and foolish. Maybe your mates don't hang out with you anymore because they don't want each night out to be just about trying to hook you up..?
Retro_Link Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) Sitting back and just mentally constructing a maze where a is you on one side of the pub or club, and b is your penis inside her... well that's just futile, facile, and foolish.Could make for a funny gameshow though! :p Edited December 31, 2011 by Retro_Link
Serebii Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 You'll never get anywhere if you don't do anything, serebii. That's basically it. Man up and go for it. You have nothing to lose. If there's a boyfriend then hey, no biggie, you were just talking to the girl, right? You're fixated on seeing these girls as emblems of all this built up hope and promise -- just go out and chat to them as if they're normal human beings and just see if you get on. If they block you or ignore you or whatever, then that's that, move on. Sitting back and just mentally constructing a maze where a is you on one side of the pub or club, and b is your penis inside her... well that's just futile, facile, and foolish. Maybe your mates don't hang out with you anymore because they don't want each night out to be just about trying to hook you up..? Nights have never been about hooking me up. Never ever. Plus my friends do want to hang out with me, they're just "over" going out of the house for fun plus they're broke. I don't see them as emblems or anything. You seem to forget that I used to be a fat social recluse and that has brought up numerous mental issues, one of them being a complete lack of confidence and self esteem. Even when I'm with males who I don't know, I'm a quiet person. It's hard for me to break out of my shell
Paj! Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 I got a lot more confidence when I lost a bit of weight this year, and people started telling me I looked nice. With that now in mind and if I dress how I think looks nice, I just walk around town/the world as though I own it/ I'm stunning. Which helps to make me think "Oh I can talk to them". A few drinks helps with nerves [/cliche] too. Basically try and evoke the feeling of this: That all said, I hardly ever chat people up. I tend to be sort of oblivious until approached.
Recommended Posts