Daft Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 I hope so. We're giving it a go so we'll see. But this is pretty unpredictable territory.
MoogleViper Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Sorry to hear that, @Daft. That's a hard decision to make. Sometimes you wish that things were shit so you it would be easier to just end it and move on. I hope you can maintain your relationship.
Daft Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Yeah, it really would have been easier if something had been crappy. We were great at talking things through. As a couple, I was really proud of us.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I broke up with my boyfriend on the weekend. It was an incredibly hard decision and it really tore at me to be the cause of so much pain and confusion in him. Nothing was bad in the relationship. In fact, everything was better than ever. Except I realised that although I loved him dearly, I wasn't in love with him anymore. He's my best friend. Aw, man, I'm so sorry. That is indeed a really sucky situation. But you did the only right thing. I hope you can retain your great friendship.
Cube Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 As I posted in the "what have you bought" thread, I'm going to the Zelda concert with the girl that got back in touch with me (she enjoyed the board game night and is going to come back). I don't think it's a date, but we were never that close friends before we stopped talking (I just thought she was at the time due to loneliness/depression and her pretty much being my only friend outside of here), and she would have never agreed to (let alone suggest) doing something together.
Ike Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 What's usually a good first message on Tinder? I'm new to this. :/
S.C.G Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) What's usually a good first message on Tinder? I'm new to this. :/ Goafer's pretty much got it sussed... Step 1: Get 2 cars.Step 2: Open every message with "Look at my cars". Step 3: Make sure you have a stick handy, because you're going to be fending off the women for a long time my friend. In the unlikely event that the two-pronged car attack fails though... ...erm, just open with something like... "Hi there, I see you're also interested in Cars - or insert relevant interest - what's your favourite?" Yeah, I really have no clue. If all else fails, break out a picture of your Fire Emblem collection. :awesome: Edited August 21, 2016 by S.C.G
Kav Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 What's usually a good first message on Tinder? I'm new to this. :/ A generic message or one tailored to a specific profile?
Goafer Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 I don't know how detailed Tinder profiles are, but back in my OKC and PoF days, I just found something that interested me on their profile and asked about that. There was always something that interested me, otherwise I wouldn't have messaged them in the first place. Examples: Some had unusual music tastes (J-Rock and K-Pop to name a couple), so I just asked for band/group recommendations. Some were into art or similar, so I asked to see some of their work and complimented accordingly (even if they were shit. ESPECIALLY if they were shit). Basically just ask them to expand on what they've put on their profile. And avoid heavy topics like politics etc like the fucking plague. You'll only end up disagreeing on something.
Charlie Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I think Tinder is a bit different. If you have the opportunity to message them they've already said Yes to you. Just go with a 'Hey, how's it going?' and begin a conversation.
Shorty Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 (edited) Somehow I'm still seeing that same girl I met on Tinder in January. I'm starting to think something (more) serious could come out of this after all.... Edited August 22, 2016 by Shorty
Charlie Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Somehow I'm still seeing that same girl I met on Tinder in January. I'm starting to think something (more) serious could come out of this after all.... Have you spoken to her about how she feels about the relationship? Last I remember is you didn't want to change the status quo...
Shorty Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I did want things to move forward, but I didn't want to take any risks by being the one to instigate that change. I know it sounds chickenshit but... we met through Tinder, which isn't your typical place for starting a serious relationship - I honestly think holding back has gotten me this far, past me would've fucked it up.
nightwolf Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I did want things to move forward, but I didn't want to take any risks by being the one to instigate that change. I know it sounds chickenshit but... we met through Tinder, which isn't your typical place for starting a serious relationship - I honestly think holding back has gotten me this far, past me would've fucked it up. I don't know about the whole serious thing, but for some perspective, I'm currently dating my friends younger brother that I met through playing guild wars. (we're now over 2 years together!) I mean, just saying that perhaps using Tinder as an excuse... maybe?
MoogleViper Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 @Shorty, for some reason I thought that you'd said something to her and she'd pushed back, but did you just chicken out from having the discussion altogether? You need to do it. Yes Tinder is used as a fuckbuddy platform, but I've known plenty of people meet through tinder and end up in a relationship. What have you got to lose? You ask her where she sees this relationship; either she says she would like to make it more serious, great, or she says she's not looking for something more serious, not great, but at least you know and can make a decision as to whether you are happy to continue as is. You need to have the discussion as living in confused ignorance clearly isn't working for you.
Shorty Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I must've given the wrong impression! Things are good right now. We're not just fwb, we're definitely exclusive, we spend a lot of time together, text pretty much every day, we talk about serious personal things. We might not have stuck the girlfriend/boyfriend label on it right now, but that's not a problem to me. I think if I suggested it, she'd go for it, but I've gotten this far by holding back, so I'm happy to carry on that way.
Daft Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Yeah, that sounds like chickenshit From an outsider's perspective.
Cube Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Yes, just ask. (said by the guy who isn't willing to ask a girl if a romantic-sounding evening is a date or not)
Shorty Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 (edited) I appreciate the... suggestions. Kind of. But there's no way you can really understand how things are. I regret bringing it up here, I thought I was saying something positive but evidently I've given the wrong impression. It doesn't need to be called something for it to be something. I'm happy for the first time in years. Edited August 23, 2016 by Shorty
Cube Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I don't know about others, but I'm just messing around. If you're happy, then you're happy. Don't have to do anything about it.
Fierce_LiNk Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 @Shorty, I'd just leave it and let things continue. If you're happy and she's happy (I'm assuming she is, I don't know her), then enjoy it and see where it goes. Your phrase about being happy for the first time in years is the clincher. Maybe there will be a natural moment where the right circumstances pop up and you ask her if it's serious.
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