Zechs Merquise Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 But that still begs the question of "why bother"? Why go on Tinder, swipe me right, message me first, continue to message me, but not want to meet up? The question still hasn't been answered. I'll answer it... They are looking for attention. Because they look for men who give them attention. They like getting messages, compliments and having a little chat with guys as it makes them feel good. It also builds their ego and makes them feel more confident and important. They will also be getting matches and messages from other guys, as guys message more often and always out number women on these sites. So she'll most likely be enjoying the attention she is getting from several men. Often these females look for men on dating sites who build them up, make them feel confident and out going and then when they feel confident they ditch those men and go after the men they really want and now have the confidence to pursue. Once this has gone on for a while she will assess which one of you is the best and meet him. Unfortunately, in this case it wasn't you. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that there is any genuine connection between yourself and a woman until you have met a woman and things have progressed. I know people who have wasted weeks or months messaging females online or by text and then after all that effort the girl in question eventually doesn't meet them. The key is, don't get hung up on someone you haven't met and when playing the internet dating game keep your options open and realise the people you are chatting to will most likely be chatting to others as well.
Charlie Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 The key is, don't get hung up on someone you haven't met and when playing the internet dating game keep your options open and realise the people you are chatting to will most likely be chatting to others as well. This is really important. Everyone on dating sites / Tinder is talking to multiple people at once, you're not the only one and they shouldn't be either.
nightwolf Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 The key is, don't get hung up on someone you haven't met and when playing the internet dating game keep your options open and realise the people you are chatting to will most likely be chatting to others as well. As there's also ladies on this site. I'll chime in here that always assume this with men also. (Not from a hurr you didn't mention men how dare you way, more just a hey ladies!) Zechs is completely right, online dating is hard as nails because you're always going to have to wade through the utter drivel and shite to find someone nice with whom you can find that connection with. Unfortunately, in this case that means dealing with women who perhaps use online dating sites as a way to boost their ego. I wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it.
Happenstance Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 There are ladies on this site??? *Straightens bowtie* Why hello there...
drahkon Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 There are ladies on this site??? *Straightens bowtie* Why hello there... Back off. Most of them aren't available. Eenuh is with Flink and nightwolf is with m...*cough*
MoogleViper Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Back off. Most of them aren't available. Eenuh is with Flink and nightwolf is with m...*cough* ...oogleviper
drahkon Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 ...oogleviper It was either you or Magnus who'd use my genius assist.
Goafer Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 There are ladies on this site??? *Straightens bowtie* Why hello there... She's no lady.
drahkon Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 It's probable that my girlfriend will have a male roommate in 3 weeks. He checked out the flat today. My girlfriend just texted me that he seems like a cool guy and living with him would work out great. With past experiences I've had and situations I've seen with mates and their girlfriends, I'm a bit uncomfortable with that. I know it's ridiculous but my past has fucked me up a bit when it comes to that. I told her how I feel but she hasn't decided whether this will influence her final decision. I kinda feel bad for putting her in a situation like that
Emasher Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Hate to be the one to say this, but you know that's a blatant excuse.. Women are generally bad at being honest/mean when it comes to dating. Don't worry, I'm under no delusions about what she really meant, I've heard it all before. A few years ago when I was still naive about this sort of thing, I texted a girl off OkCupid almost daily for four months (and she initiated many of these sessions, not just me). We had all sorts of interesting conversations, and we had explicitly established that we were trying to meet up for a date. We had very different work schedules though, and whenever there was a gap, she had some excuse. Then one day, she took several days to reply to my text, after which she told me she had met someone else, but hoped we could keep texting. I explained to here why that was a bad idea, and I figured that would be the last time I ever talked to her. A few months later, we got back in touch through a different dating site she had created a new account for. We arranged a coffee date, which actually did happen, but things were obviously a little awkward. Still not a bad date as far as they go though. A few days later, I got a "we just don't have enough in common" text. A perfectly understandable reason to not want to continue things with someone, but obviously a lie in this case.
Raining_again Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I really dislike online dating. I think people in general think its easier for women to date online, but its really not. You get all kinds of fuckers chancing their arm. Older men, ones looking a shag, stupid idiots with half a brain cell on a good day, and its evident that they haven't even bothered to look at my profile. I figure, hey just ignore them n that be it, but o no they keep messaging, & ive even had a few sending nasty messages when they don't get what they want. Oh and when I got a guy that I thought was cool, we even dated n got quite serious, then he dropped me outta the friggin sky. *grumbles* I do also agree with Zech's. Don't assume that just cause you're sucessfully talking she or he gonna fall madly in love with ya.... Talk to as many people as possible! alsohifemalelol
Emasher Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I really dislike online dating. I think people in general think its easier for women to date online, but its really not. You get all kinds of fuckers chancing their arm. Older men, ones looking a shag, stupid idiots with half a brain cell on a good day, and its evident that they haven't even bothered to look at my profile. I figure, hey just ignore them n that be it, but o no they keep messaging, & ive even had a few sending nasty messages when they don't get what they want. Oh and when I got a guy that I thought was cool, we even dated n got quite serious, then he dropped me outta the friggin sky. *grumbles* I do also agree with Zech's. Don't assume that just cause you're sucessfully talking she or he gonna fall madly in love with ya.... Talk to as many people as possible! alsohifemalelol I don't think there are all that many people who really like online dating. It's just better than a lot of alternatives. Maintaining a profile on one of the free sites, and occasionally sending out a wave of messages takes up a lot less time than going out somewhere to try and meet potential dates, not to mention, a lot cheaper, and a lot less irritating than going somewhere like a club. Then there's the fact that you can pre-screen people a little bit. If there's some sort of major deal breaker, I'd much rather know about it before I put in any time and effort if possible. Of course these days, about half the women near where I live on these sites don't even bother to fill out their profile beyond a few pictures, which I've always found makes them difficult to message.
Goafer Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I genuinely enjoyed online dating. Because I was trying to get to know a whole bunch of new people, I got to discover new music, films and other stuff. It was great. Plus I got to have some decent conversations. It was frustrating when people didn't reply, but once I stopped getting hung up on certain people, messaged everyone who seemed interesting and started getting more replies, it was actually pretty fun.
Raining_again Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I don't think there are all that many people who really like online dating. It's just better than a lot of alternatives. Maintaining a profile on one of the free sites, and occasionally sending out a wave of messages takes up a lot less time than going out somewhere to try and meet potential dates, not to mention, a lot cheaper, and a lot less irritating than going somewhere like a club. Then there's the fact that you can pre-screen people a little bit. If there's some sort of major deal breaker, I'd much rather know about it before I put in any time and effort if possible. Of course these days, about half the women near where I live on these sites don't even bother to fill out their profile beyond a few pictures, which I've always found makes them difficult to message. O I totally agree with this (especially when it comes to kinks in the bedrooooom) I genuinely enjoyed online dating. Because I was trying to get to know a whole bunch of new people, I got to discover new music, films and other stuff. It was great. Plus I got to have some decent conversations. It was frustrating when people didn't reply, but once I stopped getting hung up on certain people, messaged everyone who seemed interesting and started getting more replies, it was actually pretty fun. ....and this... but its still uber shit getting abuse thrown at you for existing, or feeling like a dirty piece of meat with sickos slabbering over me... and i'm not even anything much to look at lets be honest!
Kav Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Well things are going great with the girl I've been seeing, I'm crazy about her and it seems she is about me too. All the boxes are being ticked and I'm loving getting to know her completely. ...and no sign of her wanting me to cut her with razors or anything! Haha
Beast Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 So I had this really hot kiss from a woman I'm working with who's into me. She's 10 years older which is no problem for me. The problem? She's married. Separated (which I do believe) but married and she has two kids. We get along and we're pretty compatible in a lot of ways but she said she won't divorce. Also, there's the kids. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have my own kids but the 'husband' will always be there. I've told her there's no way this'll work and we're staying away from each other in that respect by not flirting and such. Sometimes, we forget ourselves but I back off. I really know how to pick them, huh? :p
Kav Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) So I had this really hot kiss from a woman I'm working with who's into me. She's 10 years older which is no problem for me. The problem? She's married. Separated (which I do believe) but married and she has two kids. We get along and we're pretty compatible in a lot of ways but she said she won't divorce. Also, there's the kids. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have my own kids but the 'husband' will always be there. I've told her there's no way this'll work and we're staying away from each other in that respect by not flirting and such. Sometimes, we forget ourselves but I back off. I really know how to pick them, huh? :p The bold bit is the only problem I see with this. Why won't she divorce? The girl I'm seeing is separated too, with a couple kids, but shes going through divorce at the moment. I don't mind that she's got kids, my oldest mephew isn't my brother's but I love him just as much as my other nephews. It's this that probably changed my views on dating girls with kids. If she said to me that she wouldn't get a divorce I wouldn't be able to keep seeing her though. It's definitely something that wouldn't sit right with me. I'm glad she is though! We're getting on amazingly well and she's asked me to meet the family so I'm happy! EDIT: Met her Mum this weekend! I was at the girlfriend's and her Mum popped round briefly to meet me informally, haha. I didn't mind and wasn't nervous. Had a great half weekend with her, I'm right loved up! #SoppyBastard Edited October 11, 2015 by Kav
Shorty Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 (edited) @kav82 happy for you man Well done on life wins. So I've had a bit of a dry spell.... Basic summary: was with a girl straight out of uni for over 7 years, we were engaged. Split up last year. I took it kind of badly. Decided to spend the last year focusing entirely on myself, not thinking about girls at all - work, bike, getting in shape, friends, maybe a bit too much alcohol. What this means is I essentially haven't been on a first date in... 8.5 years. I was basically a child back then. So I may be a wee bit nervous about going for a drink with a girl tonight, who is clearly way out of my league :p Wish me luck... :x Edited October 12, 2015 by Shorty
MoogleViper Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 @kav82 happy for you man Well done on life wins. So I've had a bit of a dry spell.... Basic summary: was with a girl straight out of uni for over 7 years, we were engaged. Split up last year. I took it kind of badly. Decided to spend the last year focusing entirely on myself, not thinking about girls at all - work, bike, getting in shape, friends, maybe a bit too much alcohol. What this means is I essentially haven't been on a first date in... 8.5 years. I was basically a child back then. So I may be a wee bit nervous about going for a drink with a girl tonight, who is clearly way out of my league :p Wish me luck... :x You're welcome.
bob Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Do you bring your own popcorn to the cinema for that? Or do you have to slink off to the toilet with a Stanley knife before the film starts? And where do you put the popcorn when you're cutting the hole? The logistics of this method are starting to sound too tricky!
S.C.G Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Best of luck @Shorty! I'm in a similar situation except my last relationship lasted 3 or 4 years, I've been single for what must be a year and a half now as well. While I'm not really actively looking, I'd still be open to meeting up with people but equally if nothing happens then that's OK too as I have enough in life to be getting on with. : peace:
Cube Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 So I may be a wee bit nervous about going for a drink with a girl tonight, who is clearly way out of my league :p Wish me luck... :x Just pop to KFC on the way home. It can't go wrong. Oh, I may have accidentally hit "super like" on a friend of mine on Tinder. I'm not entirely sure.
Mr-Paul Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Also had a dry spell for quite a while, both in terms of relationships and casual stuff/dating. To be fair, I hadn't really been trying, and I lived in area full of old people and chavs. Was planning on getting back on the dating scene now I'm up in London, but had a lot going on recently so I haven't really got started yet. That dry spell was broken on Friday night, rather unexpectedly. Also broke the "half your age plus seven" rule. Whoops. We had pizza before and McDonalds after though. Not KFC. Sorry Moogle, I failed your legacy. Totally worth it though.
Grazza Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 So I had this really hot kiss from a woman I'm working with who's into me. She's 10 years older which is no problem for me. The problem? She's married. Separated (which I do believe) but married and she has two kids. We get along and we're pretty compatible in a lot of ways but she said she won't divorce. Also, there's the kids. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have my own kids but the 'husband' will always be there. I've told her there's no way this'll work and we're staying away from each other in that respect by not flirting and such. Sometimes, we forget ourselves but I back off. Just one thing I wanted to say about this. Divorce is a huge legal and financial hassle, so I wouldn't be worried by that in itself. As long as she is genuinely Separated, I'd be fine with that. On the other hand, if you're with her one night and her husband comes in and says "What's this Love Machine doing in our bed?", you'd better run!
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