Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

[Beast]

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that, hun, but in saying that, I'm relieved too. Relieved because you can, in some way, rest that he has now told you. There's nothing worse than second-guessing someone or something but now you know. Also, it must mean something if he's told you the truth in that. I mean, he must really trust you because, if I was in his shoes, I'd only tell that to someone I'd really trust.

 

I think it's right that you both have space but stay together. It's awesome that you both haven't split up over it, it just shows how strong it is. It's easy to break up but it's harder to go through the tough times but when you're at the end of it, it'll make you both stronger both as a couple and as individuals.

 

Here's hoping the doctors and the medical attention will help him and I hope that the scum who hurt him will stay away.

[gaggle64]

Wow, that's really heavy Raining but, like Animal said, it seems positive that he's told you. I really hope you two can work through the problem and you can both get back to ejoying each other.

[Rummy]

Nothing like realising you've been an absolutely massive and irrational idiot in regards to someone you care about to bring you right back down to earth in a spectacular fashion. As said, the positive side of sorts is that it wasn't you, and there's probably still a way to work this through. He's been honest with you which is the big plus, it's just a case of time now sadly.

Edited April 8, 2014 by Rummy

[Agent Gibbs]

I shouldn't have read that at work i'm welling up

 

I've known people who were abused, people who had counseling and those who bottled it up*, and its a huge step for him to tell you and amazingly positive too! He can get the counseling he needs now and with time and lots of love care and any space he needs, will slowly go back to the person you fell in love with.

 

As much as he feels numb now he will get through that and deep down he does love you very much, thats evident in him telling you and wanting to stay with you, as has been said above its far easier to push others away in this situation.

The downside to this is you need to push your own insecurities aside and in a way neglect your own feelings to be strong for him, its not much of a downside as you'll both probably come through this stronger.

 

*I won't name names, or give indication of whom or what relation this person is to me, but i know of a person who bottled this sort of stuff up for years, they eventually told their mother who didn't believe it instantly, so the person bottled it up moved out in a few days of telling and became cold to everyone never giving them a chance to process what had gone on and help them - there is wrong on both sides. This person grew up had children of their own, shunned all family and was even cold and heartless to their own children, having a more stern teacher like role to them, even to the point of forcing them out of the family home once they reached 18, and since then sees them rarely. Its a sad sad situation, as because of how this person became its hard to feel sorry for them, they are depressed and devoid of all friends and family except their immediate loved one (who apparently gets little affection), and its entirely of their own doing, but yet its understandable, worst still they know they have the issue, they've shunned family, of which most have died, but sees it as too late to seek help now.

 

So my point being thats one potential outcome of bottling it up and in your boyfriend telling you and wanting to progress he can achieve a degree of normality, and wont descend to the above levels of self depreciation, he's made a massive step

 

all the best, be strong and remember that for both of you there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited April 8, 2014 by Agent Gibbs

[Raining_again]

Oh, shit, that's heavy. Poor guy. Poor you. I hope he can get help.

 

Yeah I hope so too, thanks I tried to find help in the ice cream tub

 

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that, hun, but in saying that, I'm relieved too. Relieved because you can, in some way, rest that he has now told you. There's nothing worse than second-guessing someone or something but now you know. Also, it must mean something if he's told you the truth in that. I mean, he must really trust you because, if I was in his shoes, I'd only tell that to someone I'd really trust.

 

I think it's right that you both have space but stay together. It's awesome that you both haven't split up over it, it just shows how strong it is. It's easy to break up but it's harder to go through the tough times but when you're at the end of it, it'll make you both stronger both as a couple and as individuals.

 

Here's hoping the doctors and the medical attention will help him and I hope that the scum who hurt him will stay away.

 

Yeah it was worse not knowing. I knew just by looking at him trying to spit it out several times over that it was hard for him to say. I am the only person in the world he has told (apart from someone at the time of incident who told him to stop being silly) and I'm not going to give up on him.

 

Wow, that's really heavy Raining but, like Animal said, it seems positive that he's told you. I really hope you two can work through the problem and you can both get back to ejoying each other.

 

Yeah it really is. I cried my eyes out in front of him (would you believe I'm really not normally a crier) and he held my hands and told me that he knows he loves me (even if he can't feel it now) and told me I was the single thing pulling him through this.

 

I shouldn't have read that at work i'm welling up

 

I've known people who were abused, people who had counseling and those who bottled it up*, and its a huge step for him to tell you and amazingly positive too! He can get the counseling he needs now and with time and lots of love care and any space he needs, will slowly go back to the person you fell in love with.

 

As much as he feels numb now he will get through that and deep down he does love you very much, thats evident in him telling you and wanting to stay with you, as has been said above its far easier to push others away in this situation.

The downside to this is you need to push your own insecurities aside and in a way neglect your own feelings to be strong for him, its not much of a downside as you'll both probably come through this stronger.

 

*I won't name names, or give indication of whom or what relation this person is to me, but i know of a person who bottled this sort of stuff up for years, they eventually told their mother who didn't believe it instantly, so the person bottled it up moved out in a few days of telling and became cold to everyone never giving them a chance to process what had gone on and help them - there is wrong on both sides. This person grew up had children of their own, shunned all family and was even cold and heartless to their own children, having a more stern teacher like role to them, even to the point of forcing them out of the family home once they reached 18, and since then sees them rarely. Its a sad sad situation, as because of how this person became its hard to feel sorry for them, they are depressed and devoid of all friends and family except their immediate loved one (who apparently gets little affection), and its entirely of their own doing, but yet its understandable, worst still they know they have the issue, they've shunned family, of which most have died, but sees it as too late to seek help now.

 

So my point being thats one potential outcome of bottling it up and in your boyfriend telling you and wanting to progress he can achieve a degree of normality, and wont descend to the above levels of self depreciation, he's made a massive step

 

all the best, be strong and remember that for both of you there is light at the end of the tunnel

 

Thank you for that. For all those years he has bottled it up, and just that slight reminder on facebook brought it all up Its been like a light switch, complete change over in an instant. I'm so scared for him and I just hope he can pull himself through. I told him that he has to do it himself, but i am always here for him every single step of the way if he needs me. I just need to remember to look after me from time to time so I don't go crazy lol

 

In a way it makes a lot of sense, I always wondered why he had such a out of character hatred for religion... it was a priest that abused him

[Ramar]

I don't want to put a downer on things but do you think it's fair on your fella to be posting his personal business on here? I mean I'm just saying if I told someone some deep personal shit I wouldn't want it all over the net.

[Blade]

You would hope that her fella isn't aware of this forum and that his girlfriend was a member of it.

[Fierce_LiNk]

You would hope that her fella isn't aware of this forum and that his girlfriend was a member of it.

 

Yeah, it's embarrassing as fuck being a Nintendo fan.

 

Sorry to hear about you and your man's troubles, Raineeng.

[Raining_again]

because i'm gonna go around saying that when I know he could see it... no he does not know about this place.

 

Its better for me to talk to relatively anonymous people on the internet than go mental and explode, or talk to someone in real life who will know exactly who he is.

 

Yeah, it's embarrassing as fuck being a Nintendo fan.

 

Sorry to hear about you and your man's troubles, Raineeng.

 

He's definitely not a ninty fan.... sorry :P

[Blade]

Yeah, it's embarrassing as fuck being a Nintendo fan.

 

That is not what I meant at all.

[Fierce_LiNk]

That is not what I meant at all.

 

I know.

'Tis a joke, Brah.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Yeah I hope so too, thanks I tried to find help in the ice cream tub

 

 

 

Yeah it was worse not knowing. I knew just by looking at him trying to spit it out several times over that it was hard for him to say. I am the only person in the world he has told (apart from someone at the time of incident who told him to stop being silly) and I'm not going to give up on him.

 

 

 

Yeah it really is. I cried my eyes out in front of him (would you believe I'm really not normally a crier) and he held my hands and told me that he knows he loves me (even if he can't feel it now) and told me I was the single thing pulling him through this.

 

 

 

Thank you for that. For all those years he has bottled it up, and just that slight reminder on facebook brought it all up Its been like a light switch, complete change over in an instant. I'm so scared for him and I just hope he can pull himself through. I told him that he has to do it himself, but i am always here for him every single step of the way if he needs me. I just need to remember to look after me from time to time so I don't go crazy lol

 

In a way it makes a lot of sense, I always wondered why he had such a out of character hatred for religion... it was a priest that abused him

 

Sounds like you're his lifeline. I know you're strong enough for the both of you.

[ChloboShoka]

I have to be really careful what I say about my fella cause I know some people from here outside the forum, so I gotta be on my best behavior.

Edited April 8, 2014 by ChloboShoka

[rizz]

I haven't posted in a while, didn't want to be tempting fate or something like that. But, I met a girl. And was soon disappointed to find out she already had a boyfriend. However, not to let that get in the way of anything, she is now my girlfriend. Win

[MoogleViper]

I haven't posted in a while, didn't want to be tempting fate or something like that. But, I met a girl. And was soon disappointed to find out she already had a boyfriend. However, not to let that get in the way of anything, she is now my girlfriend. Win

 

Erm... congrats?

 

How did that happen?

[rizz]

She likes me also, her ex studies far away. Typically I would have always thought 'nah she has a boyfriend shes just really friendly' or something else to convince myself I have no chance, instead I made a move for like the first time ever and it paid off.

[drahkon]

So, you got together with her while she was still together with her ex?

 

If she cheats on her ex...

 

 

If you got together with her after she broke up with him, forget everything I said :p

 

 

In other news, that lady and I didn't go to the zoo because the weather was crap. She didn't really sound like she wanted to do something else, so bah.

 

 

Looking forward to that date I have next Tuesday We have been texting some more and she's quite awesome (hope she is like that "in real life", too)

She's also incredibly beautiful.

[Goafer]

Been with the ladygoaf exactly one year today. Guess that means we're married now or something.

[MoogleViper]

Been with the ladygoaf exactly one year today. Guess that means we're married now or something.

 

[rizz]

So, you got together with her while she was still together with her ex?

 

She broke up with him before we slept together, but yeah it was a pretty quick change over. It's the same sort of situation I was at the opposite end of when my last relationship ended.

 

Speaking of which, saw my ex the other day for the first time since we split up. She suddenly decided she wanted a couple of things back, which was fine by me, but why wait 8 months? And she was pretty awkward for all two minutes we saw each other

[nightwolf]

@drahkon you're dating two ladies at once? That seems dodgy :P

 

The boy and I aren't seeing each other for three weeks. Lame, very lame. Especially considering I won't be contactable for just over a week from tomorrow.

 

Bit tricky, but we'll hopefully see each other the end of the month.

 

./end

[drahkon]

@drahkon you're dating two ladies at once? That seems dodgy :P

 

Shut up. :p

 

That lady is not in the game anymore. She's not really showing interest.

[Fused King]

Never really posted in this thread before, but I feel I need to get some things off my chests and what better place to do that than in the tightly secured compounds of N-Europe

 

Right, so the thing is that I've been in a relationship for about 4 years now with a smoking hot piece of latina ass to put it in a sexist way:laughing:

We've had our ups and down, she ended the relationship a few years back, we got together within a month.

I ended the relationship last summer, we got back within a day.

 

Now, though, I am experiencing all sorts of events that are sort of altering my view on love, relationships and sex:

*2 of my best friends have had break-ups and are dealing with it in different ways. We talk about it from time to time and 1 of them is living a happy life being single and I think some part of me is a bit jealous or something.

*My girlfriend told me that, when she wanted to break up with me but hadn't yet, she had sex with someone else, and then she broke up with me and had sex with him again. After that she never really had any contact with him though, but somewhere it really stung because it meant that she had another sexual encounter with someone and I haven't had that yet. Plus it was unprotected sex, and she didn't bother to tell me for about 2 years, so that made me a little confused too.

*These days my girlfriend is really busy with the final period of her Bachelor so I can hardly have any fun with her. On top of that the last few weeks she's been very emotional, cracking under the stress of her exams and other fears.

The strangest thing, however, was that she now has these problems and anxieties whilst I used to have them a year or so ago and she really had problems with me being 'happy' so to speak and having all this free time, whilst she was having all kinds of troubles. I am/was confronting her with herself in a way. Moreover, she kind of resent the fact that I have stopped looking at myself and my problems, while I don't think I raelly have any at the moment, I know that in the future I will have to deal with all sorts of shit I don't want to deal with, but I don't want to worry about the future, I want to live NOW and be happy NOW.

*So because she is so busy I've started seeing other girls, not in a dating way, just as friends, but these are girls I've always kind of found interesting and one of them sort of/kind of/ in a I-knew-this-would-happen-kind-of-way developed some feelings for me. Though both of them are in relationships with other guys, the one who has developed feelings for me is in more of a easy-going relationship than in a really steady one.

 

Another thing, she sometimes feels that I don't look at her the way she looks at me, that I don't treat her lovingly the way she treats me lovingly and when we talk about that I feel like I'm lying to her right in her face that I love her 'differently' and that I will 'try to work on it', because, to be honest, I can't really tell you guys what I like about her besides that I have fun playing games with her and sex, but the way she thinks and communicates is totally opposite to mine so that's just a hotbed for trouble really.

 

Anyway, I think I could type more later, but I'm pretty tired now and want to go to bed.

 

What it boils down to is this, and I can't believe this is the first place I actually put it into words, but I think that, after 4 years, I don't really love my girlfriend anymore and I don't even know if it was really love to begin with.

I don't really know what love means to me because I've only been in 1 relationship, so I don't know if this is just temporarily or if it will really stay.

The thing is, we've booked a plane to go to Japan already (I will go 1 month, she 18 days) which cost a lot of money and I still really want to go with her to see if it might be the spark our relationship needs at the moment.

If it's not, though, then I might have to end it but I am absolutely terrified to hurt her after all we've been through, but I also think that I have to listen to my heart, to my feelings.

It's just that there is a part of me that is curious towards other women and other types of relationships and just like school -> university -> job etc.... a relationship was something I'd always seen as a natural progression in life, but after having gained some self confidence and gaining different experiences/outlooks on life I am really eager to discover other forms of love.

 

There, I typed it.

Feels good but I think I will remain in this state for the coming few months though:confused::awesome:: peace:

Edited April 13, 2014 by Fused King

[Sheikah]

It sounds like continuing your relationship is a really bad idea. Cheating should almost always be an instant dump in my opinion - it shows a total lack of respect and speaks volumes about the other person. The best thing you can ask for in a relationship is no drama, at least from my experience. I went from one ridiculously drama-filled unstable relationship to the most stable one you could find, and I can tell you the latter is so much better for you. It's just not worth living your life in such a miserable way.

 

And trying to get with another girl who is already in a relationship sounds like a bad idea.

 

My best advice is break up with your current girlfriend and make sure you're over her (which it sounds like you are) before pursuing another relationship. And try pick a girl who is single, and above all, make sure she is kind.

[Raining_again]

OK so it feels like i'm drawing blood from a stone every time I talk to him.

 

I'm so unloved at the minute, its not even funny.