Strange Neighbours

[Shotgun2k]

Next door to me lives a very strange man - so strange that I felt the need to tell you all about him...

 

His most distinctive and alarming quality is his trademark noise. To attempt to describe it, I would say it's an 'uaAH' sound, and we hear him shouting it for most of the day. I have tried to link it with some sort of activity he may be doing, and the best I've come up with is that it happens during shaving: note that his electric shaver is on for hours at a time.

 

I can't speak much for what goes on inside his house, but his outside behaviour is worrying enough. Most days he'll frequently trim the few plants he has in his front garden. By trim, he actually cuts off roses, and then cuts all the petals into tiny pieces and puts them in a bag. He then walks away with his bag, (always wearing shorts, socks and sandals I might add), and wonders off out into the road. He then searches for any leaves or rubbish in the road and puts them in his bag, which he then takes back home with him.

 

As for his involvement with us, last Christmas he posted a card with no name on it through our door (I happened to see him post it), and more recently, he trimmed our hedge next to his front garden to a near bare state.

 

My diagnosis is that the man is an obsessive compulsive. I feel sorry for him, but he is also hilarious to watch.

 

Do you have any strange neighbours?

[Shorty]

If my girlfriend was a member here she'd probably have a story or two about the crazy psychopath druggy that used to live below (or above, I forget) at the council flat she once lived at. He was mental, screamed all the time, smashed things. They had to call the police once, and they showed up and kicked down his door and dragged him away.

 

After hearing that story my neighbours never seem very interesting.

[Raining_again]

One of my neighbours is a very in your face unionist, is all about putting flags up.. Would probably burn catholics if he came near them. Nice person... lol.

 

The others are noisy noisy foreigners. Different ones come in every week ¬_¬

[Ashley]

My neighbour repeatedly attacked my windows at 3am and broke into our house and threatened to rape us all with an iron bar. (which he was brandashing at the time, it wasn't a random threat)

[Chris the great]

well, my current weirdo neighbour is mr hall, whos been living next door for about 10 years.

 

to give you a little background, i live in a fairly rich area, all the houses are well kept, and of the values of aroun £650,000 (not bragging, just saying) all the gardens are fairly well kept, except his. 7 years ago, he bought some turf, but not enough so most of his fount garden is just bare soil. he has a garage, but neither he, nor his good lady own a car. every summer he can be seen digging the soil outside his house, but nothing ever comes of it, its almost like hes burying stones to find later. his front door is horrible, used to be a shinney black ordeal, but the paint has peeled and it looks like crap. it took him 4 years to take the paper down from his windows (new houses seem to have paper stuck to the window) on his back wall is a sundial which more then once was the target for rocks when i was a young lad. his garage has a wind direction thingy shaped like a hourse. again, oft the target in youthfull games of chuck the rock. he really brings the area down, i mean, im in no way snobby but his house is actualy lowering the value of outher houses around it just because he wont maintain it.

 

if his house is odd, his mannerisms are even worse, when his house was being built, ours had only recently been finnished, and we didnt have a wall between our gardens, not that it mattered cos he wasnt living there. he builds his own fence between the houses, fair enough, it was a little lopsided but a good effort for a man alone. unfortunatly, a few weeks later a strong wind came and bent it. it went from over six foot to about 5 foot cos of the angle, but he wasnt bothered, a few eeks later it got even worse (strong wind again) it was not less the three foot high, so he buttressed it up, which did the job, though the fence looked awful. a little while later we had our wall put up between our houses, very nice brick and wood afair. time to remove that stop gap solution? apparently not. despite the fact he lives in the house, and dosent appear to have a job, he didnt take said fence down for anouther year.

 

and my god is he teritorial for a man with nothing to ruin. my mate went into his backgarden to get a ball back, which was wrong. however, his back garden had no plants, he comes storming out shouting that he was going to "fucking kill" my friend. we were 11. mam to the rescue, she informs him that he wont make a threat at her son, or any of the children of the area again, or the police will get involved.

 

best part? hes a steriotypical peado. long greasy gray/black hair in a comb over, big glasses, scuntched up face, missing teeth. imagine a nerdy pirahna with bad skin and your close. always wears the same jeans and blue jumper, i assume he owns nowt else.

 

his lady i have only seen a handfull of time, which, when you consider our proximity, is alarming. one thing io remember of her is her telling me to stop tapping a stone off the ground when i was 12 or somthing. obviously it got slammed harder as the day went on. she didnt come out again.

 

as an act of revenge, a few of may mates and me made mud balls, and pelted his house, literaly covered the back of it in small muddy balls. my dad laughed and said wed better not let him catch us.

[Fresh]

One side of me are a sweet retired couple. The other side are the most arrogant wankers you would ever meet. They are just plain rude. Fortunately they have go the picture and now there is a for sale sign outside the house. Fuck yes!

[D-Day]

WTH Ashley!

 

My neighbours aren't really interesting at the moment, but in our old house, well it was an apartment in a flat, we had the strangest person living above us.

 

Every night, we'd hear some banging above our heads (I'm talking about months here) so me and my sister (I was around 10 at this point) went upstairs to confront the neighbours. The woman came out brandishing a knife!

 

Well, she didn't plan to use it on us, she was just cooking. She said (and I'd never forget this) that she stamps her feet in the process of cooking because she has to (no choice according to her), and that all people for Bangladesh do it! She also said that it makes the food taste better :-S.

That was definitely strange.

[Letty]

I have no legitimate neighbours My house is in too remote a place!

[Aimless]

I have no legitimate neighbours My house is in too remote a place!

I like to imagine you crafted yourself cardboard cut out neighbours as a child/yesterday.

[Marshmellow]

I like to imagine you crafted yourself cardboard cut out neighbours as a child/yesterday.

 

LOL That made my day, not sure why, but I just burst out laughing when I read that. Nice one!

[Fierce_LiNk]

We have a small set of flats opposite our house, which in itself is randomly placed. The street contained terraces houses, a community house, and 2 semi-detached houses, which mine is one of. It's also a corner house. Anyway, opposite us, is a set of flats, but its more like a huuuuuge house seperated in flats, its daft.

 

There's some right characters who live there. Some of the characters, I don't know the names of, so me and my family made up names for them over the years, to save the bother of asking.

 

First of all, we have a bloke called Jimmy Doyle (thats his real name) who is a dwarf. He's also partially deaf, so communicating can be a problem. Anyway, he comes around all the time for a cup of tea and biscuits, and anytime he's approaching our house, my Mum tells all of us "Don't let that bastard in! Tell him I'm busy!"

 

He came over the other week, stayed for two hours and ate all of our jammy dodgers. I almost personally threw him out, because I fucking love jammy dodgers.

 

He's also been seen having 'young ladies' going into his flat at all times of the day, so we think they must have been prostitutes or something. My Mum called him a dirty bastard, and she didn't end up speaking to him for ages because she thought it was quite sleazy.

 

So, that's strange neighbour number one.

 

Number 2 was a complete nutcase. I can't remember what his name was, so I just called him Crazy Man. He was quite tall, and looked like a teddy bear with its eyes poked out, and complete with glasses. If we were standing outside our house talking, he'd tell us to shut up from his bedroom window, which was a bit stupid as it was clearly daytime and there's no way he could have heard us from all the way over there. Whenever we'd play football outside our own house, he'd shout from his window telling us to shut up. If we played during the day, he's shout, if it was in the evening, he'd shout. This one time, he came outside and purposefully took our ball away and kicked it somewhere. Another time, when my brother and his mates were playing quite far away from his flat, he came outside from his flat and grabbed one or two of them, including my brother, and started shaking them telling them to go away!

 

Needless to say, the police were involved, and we haven't seen the guy since. Rumour has it that he was taken away to some kind of a mental hospital, as he clearly wasn't quite all there.

 

And finally, strange neighbours number 3 and 4: Andrea and the Italian!

 

Basically, she's called Andrea, but I never knew what his name was. Think it might have been Paul. Anyway, we refered to him as the Italian, but even that was in doubt, because I'm pretty sure he was from Pontypool or somewhere. Anyway, we can see directly into their room from my brother's room, and they never close their curtains or anything, so we've seen a lot of bras and stuff throughout the years, haha. They're a strange couple, we'll see them everyday for a month, and then they'll just suddenly disappear, and reappear weeks later, and the cycle would continue. I'm not even sure what they do for a living, but they never even seem to have aged throughout the years. I swear that their clothes haven't changed. He wears a tight top, shorts and sandals, and she wears 3/4 lengths, girl shoes and a pretty top. They never appear to age.

[LegoMan1031]

I live in a more 'well off' estate in my town (u can bloody tell, 2 brand new cars like on every drive, except mine, lol) they are basically all nosy, its like desperate housewives. Whenever i drive off our drive she is ALWAYS in her bedroom window looking out and watching me drive away. If i friend comes round she knows etc etc

 

Another one is if i go outside to wash my car, he comes out and washes his car just to talk to me, lol.

[Roostophe]

There's some bloke who I always see taking his dog for walks. He's always on crutches, and he always talks to his dog. Nothing conversational, just stuff like "Oi, get over here." and "Stop that now.". Even then, he says stuff like that a bit too often, to be quite honest.

 

You don't want to leave your house when he's approaching. He'll talk to you, and you can't ignore him. Nonsensical bollocks, y'see.

 

There also used to be an old bloke who lives in a bungalow on the other side of our back garden. He lived there when my mum lived here when she was younger:

 

He seemed to have been a bit paranoid; my bedroom window overlooked into his garden. And he once complained that they were staring into his garden. (My Grandma asked him sarcastically if he really had anything interesting to look at.)

 

Also, there's a small brick wall down at the end of our garden, and my mum was merely walking about on it. The codger got annoyed and yelled at her, and I think my Granddad nearly lamped him for that. (Lucky break for him.)

 

Then, when I came here. A fence had been put up at the end of the garden, which the bloke believed to be his. Whenever we played football and the ball hit the fence, he would yell "OI! WATCH THE FENCE!" or simply "FENCE!".

One time, he ironically climbed up the fence to tell us off about breaking the fence.

[welsh_gamer]

To my left, we have an eldery old man living with his dog. We have nicknamed them Wallace and Gromit, as he was always going on about inventing things and the dog goes everywhere with him. Recently we haven't heard much from him, but a neighbour further down the street told my mum that he had threatened to kill him if he "bothered" him again, and that he wouldn't mind going to jail as he would get three square meals a day there, and wouldn't have to cook ever again.

 

To our right, lives a couple in their late 50's who are quite nosey, and who my mum doesn't like very much, after arguing about parking spaces. They (the couple) row frequently and when they go away on holiday their young grandaughter brings the latest boyfriend over for sex. No idea if this happens in their bed or in another room....

[jayseven]

Some neighbours of my ex's student house were a bit odd. Every morning and every night we could hear some thumping up stairs, a crash, then excessive vomit noises for about ten minutes. This happened twice a day, every day.

 

They were located behind her house, so a couple of times we would walk around to the next road. All of their windows were filled with potted plants. They had a small field of chimney pots in their front garden.

 

We never discovered what it was -- it just made our mornings a bit odd.

 

my neighbours here in brighton have never been a bother. In sheffield, which Shorty forgot to mention, we have what must be at least four generations of chinese or vietnamese living next door. Their entrance is, akin to ours, down an alley. They have these large metal doors roughly six and a half feet high, placed in the middle of a similarly-heighted wall. They must only have one key for this door, because several times a week we'll sit for 30 mins and listen to BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG on teh metal door, followed by WAHIODHOHADLNAPIWPDI (or, more likely, some actual mandarin or something) shouted at the top of the voice of whoever's forgotten to let someone know they were going out for a bit.

 

... Not much, really, I guess.

[Blackfox]

Used to live with a guy in first year of uni who nevr washed up - he would leave his plates out to get mouldy, so eventually I moved them into his cupboard. He didn't mind and left them there for months.

 

He also used to lock himself in his room, and hen he went for a piss he would lock the door behind him everytime - strange considering it was a student house and yu didn't need to.

 

He used to be alright, then became a complete recluse. Strange.

[Aimless]

He probably become host to some form of advanced bacterial life form. It explains everything.

 

Anyway, my neighbours are pretty pedestrian, especially going by some of the tales in here. The man in the house one up from us can often be heard welding or shaping metal in his garage at around 3AM, though; I've a clear view from my window, so I tend to notice the mini light shows going on inside.

[Ashley]

WTH Ashley!

 

Piss head. And we're presuming wife beater. Given he was quick to lash out when angry. Nutjob. And he works for Seven Trent -_- (regional water company)

 

Anyway.

 

When theres something strange, in the neighbourhood...

 

Sorry. Thread title has me singing that.

[Ninty 182]

the couple living next to me are tech geeks (though the woman is fit). Late at night (2,3,4,5 AM) you can hear them playing Abba and siging along etc. I think it's because they're working with people across the globe and have to be awake at strange times to chat with people.

 

Anyway another door along from them is a family with a fit 16/17 yr old girl who sunbathes on hot days in hot pants and a small t-shirt. Always nice to see when you look out of your bathroom window

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Anyway another door along from them is a family with a fit 16/17 yr old girl who sunbathes on hot days in hot pants and a small t-shirt. Always nice to see when you look out of your bathroom window

 

I wanna live where you live ... T_T

[Emasher]

Most of the people who live near me are friendly. But a few years ago this kid and his mother were renting the basement next door and the kid now is a marijuana addict.

[Guest Maase]

First of all, there will be a lot of grammatical errors, so if you can't stand them, don't read this post, it may cause you cerebral damage and/or epilepsy.

 

I live in a big neighborhood, it has a lot of little houses and three big (6 floors without counting the 0 Floor and the Garage) buildings, i live in one of them, im in the 6 floor.), now to the Strange Neighbors (lots of them)

 

1 - João Pereira - This one lives in my building, he is from 4th Left, he was the administrator of the building for the past 2 years, and he payed everything by his own money, instead of asking the rest of the building to pay divided, now he's asking us 3500 Euros X_X, my neighborhood from the side is Administrator with my Mother (they now decided to do by floors instead of by apartments), and he got mad, so he told João Pereira that he wasn't warned and everyone already gave João a lot of money in checks, he was the one who didn't use them. João Pereira creates a grudge against our side Neighborhood and the big feud starts there:

 

First, in our garage, we only have 1 spot per apartment, but there is a weird lady, Silvia (i'l talk about her later) wich doesn't usually come, and so, my neighborhood's wife uses her spot, João Pereira called the police and there was a huge discussion.

Then, João Pereira makes a lot of noise on purpose, he already broke his own window just to call attention, this happens at 4:00 AM, the neighborhoods go knock at his door, and he says that the one doing it is my side neighborhood, again, huge discussion.

Can't wait to see what happens next

 

2 - Silvia ???: A fat lady, who bought the house right in the beginning, stayed with it for 5 months and then got away and disappeared, somedays, at 2:00 AM, she comes to her house with some guy (different guys per time), and there's a huge noise (we can notice that she is a fetiche woman), at the morning, she isn't already there. She is very late at paying...

 

3 - ??? Family: This one is priceless, they live in one small house, and they are: 1 Dad, one Mom and 3 fucking hot daughters. They have a pool in the "garden" (Only us, in the building, can see it, because the garden is full of plants in the side), the 3 of them get naked every Saturday at 12:00 AM, and go to the pool have fun, every saturday, i look at them with binoculars, they look like lesbians, but they haven't done nothing sexual, yet... (Praying for something sexual), some times, they bring fat boys and have fun with them (nothing sexual again, just hugs and being in the pool playing), for my luck, the fat boys use bathsuits (bathsuits? :X)

 

4 (and last) - Mr Nerd: (Don't know his real name)

 

When i grow up, i wanna be like him, he is the stereotype of the Nerd alive, he's fat, he has glasses, he speaks "iffy" and he goes with "Legend of Zelda" and "Halo3" Shirts all the way, i works at a Video Store close from here (one where we buy only for one day a movie, you know?), he sometimes call me to play, i play with him games like Street Fighter 2 Turbo (he kicks my ass), Guitar Hero 3, and some times, i help him in puzzles with games like Zelda and Zack and Wiki, he has all the three consoles, the two handlehelds, a great computer, and a room only with games and posters from nude chicks (most of them from videogames, but i don't know them, i think some of them i alread played in Street Fighter 2).

 

And that's it, the 4 weirdest neighborhoods i have.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

3 fucking hot daughters. They have a pool in the "garden" (Only us, in the building, can see it, because the garden is full of plants in the side), the 3 of them get naked every Saturday at 12:00 AM, and go to the pool have fun, every saturday, i look at them with binoculars, they look like lesbians, but they haven't done nothing sexual, yet... (Praying for something sexual), some times, they bring fat boys and have fun with them (nothing sexual again, just hugs and being in the pool playing), for my luck, the fat boys use bathsuits (bathsuits? :X)

 

4 (and last) - Mr Nerd: (Don't know his real name)

 

When i grow up, i wanna be like him, he is the stereotype of the Nerd alive, he's fat, he has glasses, he speaks "iffy" and he goes with "Legend of Zelda" and "Halo3" Shirts all the way, i works at a Video Store close from here (one where we buy only for one day a movie, you know?), he sometimes call me to play, i play with him games like Street Fighter 2 Turbo (he kicks my ass), Guitar Hero 3, and some times, i help him in puzzles with games like Zelda and Zack and Wiki, he has all the three consoles, the two handlehelds, a great computer, and a room only with games and posters from nude chicks (most of them from videogames, but i don't know them, i think some of them i alread played in Street Fighter 2).

 

These two neighbours sound awesome!

[Guest Maase]

Yeah, its a shame i never talked with anybody from the family 3, tough...

 

Maybe if i knock, they let me in the pool :P

 

(Just kidding, i don't have the courage to do so)

[Noodleman]

Pretty sure my next door neighbors when I was at uni where drug dealers. First the curtain where always drawn in all the windows and they had a fucking massive Alsatian that would bark whenever anybody rung the doorbell. Which was pretty often, at all times day and night you would see people arriving going inside for 10 minutes then leaving again. 90% of these people where your typical chavs. There where also multiple instances of people clearly off their head during the middle of the night banging on the door/ throwing stones at the upstairs window/ standing in the front garden yelling.

 

Over the course of the 2 years I lived there, I witnessed at least 4 occasions when a big police van would rock up and about 15 policeman would get out of the van and disappear into he place for a couple of hours. To my knowledge they never arrested anybody though. They where quality neighbors however, never once complained about the noise 5 drunken students are prone to make at 3 in the morning. Unlike the bitch across the road who threatened us with an asbo, but that's another story.

 

So yeah there was defiantly something shady going on there either drugs or it was a brothel.

 

Edit: I should also point out that never once to my knowledge did I ever see anybody who lived in the house. They also had a massive as in at least 8 foot high hedge in the back garden so you couldn't even seen into the back garden from our upstairs bedrooms.