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If you had Bernard's Watch...


Charlie

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Naturally I would stop in exams to get answers everyone would. Freeze time to exercise a bit (maybe),sleep more, watch some people and what they do, steal things people are about to eat.

 

Maybe also freeze time, drag someone away and just leave them in a ditch somewhere so they get confused and lost. And probably watch some females :heh:

 

But if I had a watch to stop it, the thing I would first would say "Why the hell a watch? I wanna stop time in my mind like Hiro, screw watches."

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Something elaborate.

 

I'll rob some sperm form someone in a very remote tribe and use it to impregnate some single women (who is a virgin). Throughout the kid's life I would use the watch to make it look like he performs miracles.

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Something elaborate.

 

I'll rob some sperm form someone in a very remote tribe and use it to impregnate some single women (who is a virgin). Throughout the kid's life I would use the watch to make it look like he performs miracles.

 

That would be awesome! He'd be the new jesus or something. But how would you manage to "rob some sperm"?

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He could leave some legal form of tender in exchange for the sperm without the knowledge of the sperm donor. Therefore meaning it would not be stealing.

 

I could give the tribe a large barrel of food and another full of water. Would be more than enough.

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http://www.answers.com/topic/bernard-s-watch

 

That explains why he didn't steal anything then.

 

Edit - Unlucky, stealing sperm is a crime. :heh:

 

And the watch somehow knows this? Wow that is some watch...

Hiros power ftw.

 

Let's just say the world would be a better place. At least my world

 

A new form of Kira? Then you could never get caught, even if they knew who you were!

You shall be the god of the new world.

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Irony!! This came up in a recent talk with my buddies at university. There was a HUGE breasted girl in our lecture hall...

 

And I said I would pause time and put my head between her bossom and go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

 

We then summised that time would un-pause at his moment and I would slowly look up at her as she freaked out at me sitting chin deep in her chest.

 

We were in stiches for hours!

 

(Great thread!)

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Guest Stefkov
A new form of Kira? Then you could never get caught, even if they knew who you were!

You shall be the god of the new world.

My word, the thoughts that came into my head then...

A new world order....drooling just by typing it.

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Tapedeck, that had me in stitches dude. Especially the BRRRRR part. :D

 

I'm quite perverted minded, but rather than admiring the view, I would probably just stop time, and have a little peace and time to myself, so that I could be alone with my thoughts.

 

I use my right hand for that, by the way.

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Tapedeck, that had me in stitches dude. Especially the BRRRRR part. :D

 

I'm quite perverted minded, but rather than admiring the view, I would probably just stop time, and have a little peace and time to myself, so that I could be alone with my thoughts.

 

I use my right hand for that, by the way.

 

Lololol, too right. Every women should come equipped with nubile breasts. (o)(o)

 

I'm jealous of Bernards teenage years. Best. Wanks. Ever.

 

****!

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I'd freeze time in the exams and get the answers I needed. It would be awesome. I'd also have to continuously piss someone off by moving something they were using.

 

I thought of both of them as I read the thread name!

Good call, sir!

 

I'd also do all my homework, get lots of sleep, get into good shape, and maybe some completely deniable groping.

 

When the news is on, stop time in each time it goes to a location, get myself to that location, stand behind reporter, carry on time until the location changes, repeat.

 

If you do that, I'll do the same, but in the newsroom between the reports. :heh:

 

I would go around the world, slowly erradicating religion.

 

I didn't want to say it, so I'll just quote what you said!

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http://www.answers.com/topic/bernard-s-watch

 

That explains why he didn't steal anything then.

 

Edit - Unlucky, stealing sperm is a crime. :heh:

 

Yeah, I remember that. If he did anything wrong a postman would appear, tell him off and threaten to take the watch (see that's how postmen deliver the post on time (lol) they have watches to stop time), but if Bernard really thought about it he could just steal a gun, shoot the postman and then he would be free to do anything he liked. Nobody could prove a thing. The only drawback I can see though is that he'd have Royal Mail on his arse all the time, but they'll go onstrike eventually and forget about him.

 

Lololol, too right. Every women should come equipped with nubile breasts. (o)(o)

 

I'm jealous of Bernards teenage years. Best. Wanks. Ever.

 

****!

 

Sadly the series never got that far, I guess they just didn't want to address common teenage issues.

 

I'm utterly useless at doing anything as it is, so having a watch that gave me all the time in the world would be a nightmare. I'd just do nothing.... but with time stopped.

 

EDIT: Just found wikipedia has this to say on Bernards Watch-

Bernard's Watch is also a theoretical concept used to investigate the logical constraints on the idea of an omniscient prototype. The theme central to this implies that a man in possession of 'Bernard's Watch' is capable of anything (provided that he demonstrates a sufficient level of tenacity in the pursuit of his goals) and would thus investigate the ideas incurred by such an entity's interaction with reality.

 

A practical application of 'Bernard's Watch' would place an onus on the investigation of the nature of self-gratification by utilising various meta-ethical disciplines. What would a human being choose to do, and why? A popular theory is that behaviour would be subject to a number of discriminant phases.

 

Conjecture abounds as to whether or not the watch that Bernard has in his possession is merely symbolic. This theory expounds that Bernard possesses no watch, and that time is not being stopped at all. What Bernard actually possesses is the mind of a genius, and what appears to be the cessation of time is actually a device used by the show's makers that allows the viewer to follow Bernard's extraordinarily fast train of thought.

 

However, this would not make sense as he is seen to stop time and then get to places far away, without time moving.

 

Never thought a kids TV show would raise such philosophical questions. This blatently was the result of some wrecked students talking late at night.

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A practical application of 'Bernard's Watch' would place an onus on the investigation of the nature of self-gratification by utilising various meta-ethical disciplines.

Touch people when they are frozen

 

Conjecture abounds as to whether or not the watch that Bernard has in his possession is merely symbolic. This theory expounds that Bernard possesses no watch, and that time is not being stopped at all. What Bernard actually possesses is the mind of a genius, and what appears to be the cessation of time is actually a device used by the show's makers that allows the viewer to follow Bernard's extraordinarily fast train of thought.

doped up on drugs possibly

 

However, this would not make sense as he is seen to stop time and then get to places far away, without time moving.

naa he is just sat in a beanie chair having a fit and foaming at the mouth speaking in faux tongue

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Go around every where and steal 1 sock out of every pair so no one would have matching socks.

 

Every day at the same time i would jump off the same building and disappear then repeat it every day.

 

Screw around with Big Ben so it´s 4 hours late

 

Everytime there is an important speech going on and when it´s over and the person that is making the speech walks out, a banana peel materialises under theyre feet

 

Hmmm what more....

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http://www.answers.com/topic/bernard-s-watch

 

That explains why he didn't steal anything then.

 

Edit - Unlucky, stealing sperm is a crime. :heh:

 

Actually you could use it to commit crimes. There was an episode where another kid had a watch too and was pausing time, putting someone outside a high storey building, unpausing time and watching them scream until they nearly hit the floor then pausing again and putting them back indoors. Made no sense regarding physics, but the kid could do what he wanted because apparently the excuse was "once you get given a watch it is yours".

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1-up Mushroom

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