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I'm not one for talking much about personal affairs on these forums but what the heck, I feel like it tonight.

 

I've had one of the worse days of my life today - found out this morning that my ex-girlfriend (who also happened to be my first proper girlfriend) committed suicide last Thursday evening due to various reasons. We haven't spoken properly for a couple of years but nevertheless it got to me - I cared for her so much at one point and now I'll never have to chance to ever properly reconcile with her and just drop her a line to see how she is.

 

Most of the day I was okay, being rather shocked in the morning and managing throughout the day with it on my mind at work.

 

Then this evening it just got to me and I broke down in front of my Mum, which was pretty embarrassing but she understood. It seems silly to cry about someone who I've had no true attachment to for some time but I just couldn't help it. I dunno, ugh.

 

Sorry to bring down the good spirits.

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Had some pretty bad news tonight... My mum was seeing a specialist about the knee injury she had.. apparently its pretty much inoperable.

House?

 

[Although your mum no like no Vicodin.]

Sorry to bring down the good spirits.

You are unaware of the topic you're in. This is pr0 for negative emotions. Positive shit makes for a wank topic.

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I'm not one for talking much about personal affairs on these forums but what the heck, I feel like it tonight.

 

I've had one of the worse days of my life today - found out this morning that my ex-girlfriend (who also happened to be my first proper girlfriend) committed suicide last Thursday evening due to various reasons. We haven't spoken properly for a couple of years but nevertheless it got to me - I cared for her so much at one point and now I'll never have to chance to ever properly reconcile with her and just drop her a line to see how she is.

 

Most of the day I was okay, being rather shocked in the morning and managing throughout the day with it on my mind at work.

 

Then this evening it just got to me and I broke down in front of my Mum, which was pretty embarrassing but she understood. It seems silly to cry about someone who I've had no true attachment to for some time but I just couldn't help it. I dunno, ugh.

 

Sorry to bring down the good spirits.

 

This came up on PostSecrets this Sunday. I'm not sure why I'm posting it but maybe it'll help..or something...

 

3854338476_cc09e07047_o.jpg

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It seems silly to cry about someone who I've had no true attachment to for some time but I just couldn't help it. I dunno, ugh.

It's not silly. However feelings and people change, history always stays the same; the good times will forever be so, even when things turn bad.

 

Sometimes the past tense creeps in and love turns to loved, but time can't change how or what you used to feel. Never be ashamed of who or what helped shape you, it's thanks to everything that you are the way you are. When those things cease to be it can feel like you've lost a part of yourself... so no, it's not silly to cry for those we've loved. Just remember to be thankful for them too.

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Today was sheer awesome. :)

 

I had a date (more like a day of fun) with an awesome girl called Amanda. We went for a drink, played pool, went to a coffee place, went on a huge ferris wheel (like the London Eye...lite), went for something to eat, played in an arcade and saw a film. Truly the most fun I have had in ages. :D

 

She's really cute and really likes me too. :yay:

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*Hugs Pooki*

 

I cycled my new bike to work and then a lot more after work. I haven't ridden a bike for about 10 months so I'm getting used to it again. If bikes could rape, this is what it would feel like.

 

The new bike seems to be going down well with everyone. Someone asked if they could take a photo of it when I was walking on the South Bank.

 

I still haven't given him a full name. I'm working on it. His first name is Charge, he just needs a surname. I'm thinking 'Charge Sunday', since that's the day I bought him.

 

"Charge AfterSurge" Awww yeaaaaah.

 

Today was sheer awesome. :)

 

I had a date (more like a day of fun) with an awesome girl called Amanda. We went for a drink, played pool, went to a coffee place, went on a huge ferris wheel (like the London Eye...lite), went for something to eat, played in an arcade and saw a film. Truly the most fun I have had in ages. :D

 

She's really cute and really likes me too. :yay:

 

What'd she eat?

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"Charge AfterSurge" Awww yeaaaaah.

 

He's got to have his name for a reason. The bike is actually a charge racer to that's where that is from.

 

At the moment I'm tempted to call it Charge Rapist because my butt hurts so bad.

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Aye, the reason being its total badass surname. :D

 

Hmmm, 'Charge Badass' would be quite apt. :heh:

 

I kind of want it to have a name that's a bit pornstary but also sounds plausible as a real name. A bit like 'Chopper Hicks'.

 

Tricky...

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Was it just a 6 incher? Man I'm lame, I'm giggling like a schoolgirl.

 

Clubbing was pretty uneventful last night, wasn't bad just a little dull since it was me and 3 girl mates who preferred to sit at the tables and drink. I drove -_-, but it was for one of their birthdays so they appreciated it.

 

 

Everytime I said a girl was cute or good looking I got a weird look. Perhaps something is wrong with me.

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It's been an uneventful few days. One of the regulars told me something I thought was pretty funny.

A Christening Party (or a Birthday party, or a any sort of party) isn't a party unless there's a fight. Looking back at the times I've worked, this is very true.

 

I was wondering if anyone could help me. Halifax charge £1.50 if you pay for anything abroad; dollars or yen, etc. And being who I am I buy a lot of stuff in yen. I was wondering if anyone knew a way to get around this that doesn't involve paypal? This website doesn't accept paypal and I'm looking at becoming a regular customer because they're a pretty good website. But the large sums of money that goes to the website, getting hit by Customs and then Halifax deciding to take £1.50 isn't very... nice.

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I'm starting to feel choked by the missus, I'm going to have to have a serious word with her. I enjoy spending time with her but she's there when I'm working and when I'm home on a day off she's on msn constantly asking if we can meet up. I cannae get time to meself.

 

HOWEVER! Our box of Pokémon cards arrived today, so she'll have to come round :)

Was it just a 6 incher? Man I'm lame, I'm giggling like a schoolgirl.

 

Clubbing was pretty uneventful last night, wasn't bad just a little dull since it was me and 3 girl mates who preferred to sit at the tables and drink. I drove -_-, but it was for one of their birthdays so they appreciated it.

 

 

Everytime I said a girl was cute or good looking I got a weird look. Perhaps something is wrong with me.

Do you prefer sitting and drinking or do you like to slam on yo' dancing sh00s?

Edited by EEVILMURRAY
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I prefer standing, chilling and talking for a while, but generally sitting in a corner area sitting is a bit blergh. Dancing later, everyone is drunker and no-one cares so its a free for all dancing session.

 

Packing for Reading, don't think I've ever been this hyped for it!

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So stressed it's unbelievable. Have been writing non-stop since last thursday and should be finished later on today with no more writing for a few weeks. That should keep the 'boss' happy and means I can try and relax before the chaos of Uni starting.

 

Have had to get in touch with the head of my new department at Uni to ask about why I haven't received anything for matriculation. Seems they put my file away and just forgot to send anything at all until I mentioned it to them ¬.¬ Lucky I emailed them otherwise I'd be screwed and it's nice of them to confirm I'm now on the English course. Stuff is getting sent out this afternoon so don't need to worry about that anymore. Just need to remember my sign in stuff for the SAAS website and fill in my funding thing now. That'll annoy me as I can't remember the details and don't remember where I wrote them down.

 

Oh well, once this is all out of the way I can look forward to a week and a half of relaxing so hopefully I can get better. The stress really hasn't helped considering I haven't been feeling great already. Anyway, I better get back to writing. Having to review Ashes Cricket 2009 on the Wii. I hate cricket and hated the game so this should prove interesting.

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I got my final second year student loan confirmation letter through today. It's £41 short of covering my rent alone. Shit.

 

Oh, and before anyone says "get a job", there aren't any either at home or in Guildford, and I have 30 hours of contact time a week minimum, with at least half as much in work to be done in my own time. I physically can't do my course and work at the same time, unless I cut out sleep.

 

My only real hope of not running out of money once my overdraft runs out is getting on the scholarship. Oh, wait, there's a recession, so 2nd years can't apply for it this year. Fuck.

Edited by The fish
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I got my final second year student loan confirmation letter through today. It's £41 short of covering my rent alone. Shit.

 

Oh, and before anyone says "get a job", there aren't any either at home or in Guildford, and I have 30 hours of contact time a week minimum, with at least half as much in work to be done in my own time. I physically can't do my course and work at the same time, unless I cut out sleep.

 

My only real hope of not running out of money once my overdraft runs out is getting on the scholarship. Oh, wait, there's a recession, so 2nd years can't apply for it this year. Fuck.

 

Parents! As awful as it is to lean on them it's what you may have to do?

They'll be saving money with you not living at home?

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I'm off to the cinema tonight to watch a classic movie. Should be interesting as well.

 

Had to also spend much of today inside waiting for the new shower-room stuff to arrive, now have to wait until it gets fitted in a few weeks time. Not really looking forward to it to be fair, that would mean i would have to have a bath (of which i cannot fit in the bath as it is too small for me) plus i hate baths because you wash yourself and go back into your own dirt afterwards, eww!!

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Ah it wasn't really anything proper, just a subway before we went to see a film. It was the first subway she'd ever had, actually. :p

 

What filling??!!

 

God that day at work SUCKED. I had about 8 errors logged against me all in one day, which was fucked up. Admitadly most were my fault, but a few were just fucking tiny errors, or my prick colleagues logging them against me for minor fuck ups. Cunts.

 

And I asked how much holiday I have left. Should be like 3 days, but he said 3 hours. I left it at that, but am about to consult my contract which (I'm certain) says after 3 years employment it goes up x.

 

I now know he's gonna come back with "Yeah thats three years full employment as at the start of the year" or something fucking ridiculous like that.

 

[/Rage rage rage]

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What filling??!!

 

God that day at work SUCKED. I had about 8 errors logged against me all in one day, which was fucked up. Admitadly most were my fault, but a few were just fucking tiny errors, or my prick colleagues logging them against me for minor fuck ups. Cunts.

 

And I asked how much holiday I have left. Should be like 3 days, but he said 3 hours. I left it at that, but am about to consult my contract which (I'm certain) says after 3 years employment it goes up x.

 

I now know he's gonna come back with "Yeah thats three years full employment as at the start of the year" or something fucking ridiculous like that.

 

[/Rage rage rage]

 

3 hours? Do you get your leave as you earn it or for the year?

 

we get 27 days p/a. I've hardley spent any of my leave (can't get the fucking time off cause were so shortstaffed grrrrrr :mad:) and i've got 23 days left until march next year (and +14 hours flexi)... most people have the majority spent over the summer, and one of my colleagues only has 5 days left. I'm gonna demand 2 weeks off over christmas. or there WILL BE HELL.

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3 hours? Do you get your leave as you earn it or for the year?

 

we get 27 days p/a. I've hardley spent any of my leave (can't get the fucking time off cause were so shortstaffed grrrrrr :mad:) and i've got 23 days left until march next year (and +14 hours flexi)... most people have the majority spent over the summer, and one of my colleagues only has 5 days left. I'm gonna demand 2 weeks off over christmas. or there WILL BE HELL.

 

We get 22 days for the first three years, then 25 for 3-5 years and then, 27 after that. Broken down into hours. Its from Jan-Dec.

 

I just.....I will rage so hard if they do come back with some bull shit like that. It literally says in the contract 3-5 years service....I just know they'll find some loop hole. Fucki'n assholes. Seriously. I specifically saved like 3 days for xmas.

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