Happenstance Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I think though that theres the reality of the situation but also the bluntness of the way you put it
Coolness Bears Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Cutest image @EddieColeslaw unless you didn't want it to be cute. :p So it was also the manliest/craziest/sweetest/awesomest/horniest/greatest I'll stop now. It was a good photo. Hope you are feelin' good even though he has left.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Keep strong, Eddie. You've found something wonderful, and that stays true regardless of spatial and temporal distance. Just look at Fleenuh! ^_^ Where does your boyfriend actually live' date=' Eddie? I hope it works out for you, I really do. But that amount of time, with a very new relationship, while you're both young? My money is on you never seeing him again.[/quote'] Sheesh, pessimist much? And I'm assuming people skills aren't your forte, either.
Ville Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Well, Will does have a point, long-distance relationships can have serious problems. I don't think he's being a pessimist either, just saying what the reality often is. I'm too much of a statistician to try long-distance dating either...too many drawbacks for my taste. Anyway, it all depends on what you two want. If time and distance is no problem, then go for it! : )
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I think Happenstance is right, it's the way he said it more than anything.
EddieColeslaw Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Thanks guys. I started doing some coursework which was a good distraction. Sympathy and input appreciated And Magnus, that helped. 7 months is better than...idk, a year, I suppose. We've been talking for 9 months before this anyway, and it wasn't too bad! Where does your boyfriend actually live' date=' Eddie? I hope it works out for you, I really do. But that amount of time, with a very new relationship, while you're both young? My money is on you never seeing him again.[/quote'] He lives in Texas. That is the most rational perspective to take, but we are very determined and thus organised! After a few more visits (I have to finish my MSc this year and am starting a 1-year work contract afterwards), I plan to relocate. Families and friends and stuff are all sorted, all we need is hard work and money! I'm determined to prove you wrong
Eenuh Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 He lives in Texas. That is the most rational perspective to take, but we are very determined and thus organised! After a few more visits (I have to finish my MSc this year and am starting a 1-year work contract afterwards), I plan to relocate. Families and friends and stuff are all sorted, all we need is hard work and money! I'm determined to prove you wrong Haha how funny, my ex lived in Texas too! Good luck to you two! I'm sure you can do it if you're both determined to make it work. =)
Will Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 (edited) Sheesh, pessimist much? And I'm assuming people skills aren't your forte, either. It's hardly pessimistic, that would be running round thinking every girl you talk to could result in an eye-stabbing. It's my honest take on a situation I have experience in and personally don't agree with. Depends what you mean by people skills, the message and wording was taken exactly as I intended, it's meant to sound harsh as I think it's a stupid situation to put yourself in. I'm determined to prove you wrong I genuinely hope you do, and wish you luck in doing it. I'm not being harsh towards you, more the situation, I don't like it! Most people seem to disagree with the way I handle situations pertaining to this thread so I'm probably the last person you should listen to. Edited January 16, 2012 by will'
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 It's hardly pessimistic' date=' that would be running round thinking every girl you talk to could result in an eye-stabbing. It's my honest take on a situation I have experience in and personally don't agree with.[/quote'] Well, that's all subjective, really. In my eyes it's pretty pessimistic since I've seen several long-distance relationships work out just fine. Depends what you mean by people skills' date=' the message and wording was taken exactly as I intended, it's meant to sound harsh as I think it's a stupid situation to yourself in.[/quote'] Well, we just happen to disagree very much on the situation, then. Regardless, I still think it could've been said much more elegant, but maybe that's just me. (Loving the new thread title, by the way! )
heroicjanitor Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 It's always worth saying what Will said, since people can get swept up in situations, or could be influenced by the other person.
Goafer Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 (edited) Depends what you mean by people skills' date=' the message and wording was taken exactly as I intended, it's meant to sound harsh as I think it's a stupid situation to yourself in.[/quote'] I don't want to speak for Danny, but I assume he meant "having an opinion, but keeping it to yourself for the sake of someone else's feelings, especially when they're clearly upset about the situation" sort of people skills. Sure it might very well be what happens, but she's probably already been told countless times by her friends and there are better times to say it than immediately after she's admitted to crying in an airport toilet. I'd rather be like Eddie and at least try these sort of things, knowing that at the very least I'll have had a good time, than the sort of person who doesn't try things on the grounds that "it will never work". It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. Edited January 16, 2012 by Goafer
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 (edited) I don't want to speak for Danny, but I assume he meant "having an opinion, but keeping it to yourself for the sake of someone else's feelings, especially when they're clearly upset about the situation" sort of people skills. Pretty close. I'm not saying he shouldn't have stated his opinion, I'm saying that telling someone who's clearly upset, "Yeah, you'll probably never see him again," is pretty darn tactless. There are countless way to express that opinion more elegantly. I'd rather be like Eddie and at least try these sort of things, knowing that at the very least I'll have had a good time, than the sort of person who doesn't try things on the grounds that "it will never work". Amen to that. Great quote, by the way. Edited January 16, 2012 by Dannyboy-the-Dane
Will Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I'd rather be like Eddie and at least try these sort of things, knowing that at the very least I'll have had a good time, than the sort of person who doesn't try things on the grounds that "it will never work". I totally agree, and having tried this I'm giving my opinion on the situation. Long distance relationships, for the most part, are sitting around really missing someone, while you're missing out on other great opportunities. It's not a romantic storybook, it's picking someone out thousands of miles away with a less then 50/50 chance of it having the desired ending. All I'm saying is if I was in the same situation I wouldn't do it. If a close friend found themselves in the situation and asked my advice, I'd tell them not to do it. I still fully back the three things you need for a relationship: physical attraction, mental stimulation and, unfortunately, timing. To me you need all three to even start to have a chance of something working out, if one is missing I wouldn't bother with it and in this case there's something missing, and missing in a huge way.
EddieColeslaw Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I totally agree' date=' and having tried this I'm giving my opinion on the situation. Long distance relationships, for the most part, are sitting around really missing someone, while you're missing out on other great opportunities. It's not a romantic storybook, it's picking someone out thousands of miles away with a less then 50/50 chance of it having the desired ending.[/quote'] Disagree. You are describing lovestruck teenagers who have watched too many movies or read too many books without perspective in reality. I don't sit around being sad - I have many practical responsibilities, such as college and my family, to turn my attention to. re: opportunities, since I started talking to my boyfriend, I've gained a degree and a job offer which both came from hard work and vigilance, and his encouragement. The way I see it, no one chooses to be in a long-distance relationship. You choose the person, and accept the accompanying factors creating the situation (distance). Nothing is impossible. We create the ending we desire. Your initial post was a bit harsh, but I think I would have more than fully agreed with you a year ago (timing: perfect) so I'm not mad or anything. I'm just surprised that you're so against the situation! Spreading positivity : peace:
Aneres11 Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I think if 2 people are meant to be together then they will make sure that they do whatever they can to make it happen. And if you are in a long distance relationship and whilst not seeing your partner sitting there thinking about the 'great opportunities' you're missing out on - then it clearly isn't for you. I however don't think Eddie is going to be doing that, as clearly they both have a huge want to make it work. And I so hope it does work for you both. The picture you posted earlier made me smile - you look great together!
Josh64 Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 If anything, I just like seeing the various names for this thread
The Bard Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Goafer, man, you just gave me a boner with that Teddy Roosevelt quote.
Will Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I'm just surprised that you're so against the situation! Spreading positivity : peace: I suppose I've just seen too many people get hurt by this kind of situation - including myself. Another thing is that a lot of a relationship, for me at least, is having shared experiences, something it's hard to have when you're not with the other person very much. Meh, whatever, if you're happy then that's all that matters. I hope it all works out perfectly for you. When you're living in Texas and come on holiday to San Francisco on holiday together I'll buy you both a drink and you can say you told me so
jayseven Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I think there's an element of 'saving face' in not ganging up on Will, and instead letting Eddie have her say and allow him to clarify to her rather than have to feed the pressgang pack. I don't think the roosevelt quote is apt here. It is instead the rest of you who are criticising him, a man who has 'dirtied his face' and actually experienced the issue first hand, thus he is at the least a more reliable source of information on the matter. I do think it's not the most logical stance that he has taken, but I do not agree that it is an opinion that needs to be beaten into the ground simply because it is deemed unromantic in comparison to what others project or perceive.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I think there's an element of 'saving face' in not ganging up on Will, and instead letting Eddie have her say and allow him to clarify to her rather than have to feed the pressgang pack. I don't think the roosevelt quote is apt here. It is instead the rest of you who are criticising him, a man who has 'dirtied his face' and actually experienced the issue first hand, thus he is at the least a more reliable source of information on the matter. I do think it's not the most logical stance that he has taken, but I do not agree that it is an opinion that needs to be beaten into the ground simply because it is deemed unromantic in comparison to what others project or perceive. I must say I don't really recognise any pressganging or beating down of opinions due to romantic projections. I see a number of people acknowledging will's point, but disagreeing with his judgment of probability and tone of argument. I personally fully respect will's opinion and acknowledge his point, even though I don't completely agree with it/find it rather pessimistic. My main gripe was the in my opinion rather tactless way in which he expressed it.
The Peeps Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Most relationships do not last. Is that any reason not to pursue them? People feel how they feel. If you love someone you will try to make things work. There's no reason to give up if you think you've found something real. Will may have been blunt but he was just voicing his opinion and even said he hopes it's not the case for Eddie. Sometimes it's good for people to hear these things, even if all it does is make them more determined to make it work out - which I'm sure it will for Eddie
ipaul Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Previously promising potential love interest gave me the 'let's just be friends'. Goddam.
MoogleViper Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Previously promising potential love interest gave me the 'let's just be friends'. Goddam. For fuck's sake it's getting pretty crowded in here. This message was brought to you from the friend-zone.
Serebii Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Friend Zone sucks. KILL IT WITH FIRE Know how you feel buddy
Charlie Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Last night, whilst unable to sleep, I developed a new theory on girls. Stay tuned for more info. I'm going to refine it whilst at work today and post it this evening. Prepare for your minds to be blown.
Recommended Posts