Beast Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I want my best friend to break up with his girlfriend...She is ridiculously jealous (my mate gets text like “Sure you’re not at another girls place?” when we go out for a beer), she controls him, she constantly plays the guild-trip card and she needs to see him literally every second of her free time. He always talks about how she makes a big deal out of nothing (example from minutes ago: he was on his way to her place but the bus was a little late…and she got angry, seriously angry with him…) and how tiring it is for him. This has been going on for 5 months now (they’ve been together for a year). He’s talked to her about it a lot of times but nothing has changed. He’s not himself anymore…the control she has over him turns him into a different person and it sickens me to see that. I’ve talked to him and told him that this relationship doesn’t seem to work…I don’t know whether I’d be in the right to say the words “you should break up with her”. My first girlfriend was like this and I broke up with her one week after it got out of hand. Maybe my experience is clouding my view on the situation, maybe I’m overreacting. I don't think you are but ultimately, it's him who needs to do something about it. If he has told you this himself and he's clearly still unhappy even after telling her several times then he does need to fuck her off. I'd watch how you tell him though, in case he takes offence. I go balls-to-the-wall with no fucks given and say it like I mean it but it depends on how close you are and she seems to totally control him so maybe not that approach? Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
drahkon Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I keep dropping hints like "if my girlfriend would treat me like this I'd break up", to "test" how he reacts. He always evades the topic... I go balls-to-the-wall with no fucks given and say it like I mean it This is how I normally approach everything But in this situation...he often tries to justify her behaviour and I think if I tell him to break up he'd try the guilt-trip card himself (not to guilt me into something but rather guilt himself into not doing it...)
Rummy Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Too many people told me not to put up with shit, and yet I still did for a while - it's hard to judge it when you're in it because the good bits of a relationship don't generally tend to be as visible from the outside imo. I don't know if you can specifically convince him any particular way - just be honest and tell him you think she's bad for him, it's a toxic relationship etcetc if you think you have that sort of level with him.
Shorty Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Some people would rather be in a crap relationship than be alone. Depends on your prospects.
Rummy Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Some people would rather be in a crap relationship than be alone. Depends on your prospects. Very true actually, and a conversation I've had with a friend many times. I do find people who can't seem to be alone a little weird, like as soon as they're done with one relationship they're very quickly in another. Makes me wonder why they get to that point etc and possibly quite how committed they maybe were to one over the other. The same sort of mentality can also sometimes bug me when I'm with someone who hasn't been single for too long, though I'm pretty fussy anyway so it's not too common :p
Shorty Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Depends how many mates you've got. Loneliness is a terrible thing. And I didn't really mean people who go from one relationship to another, I meant people who consider themselves very lucky to be in that place at all, and terrified that they won't find it again.
Raining_again Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 the worst 4 words you can hear from a potential date.... "i know your ex"
Ashley Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 the worst 4 words you can hear from a potential date.... "i know your ex" "Oh, you must have met the only one that could muster the will to live after we broke up. How is he?"
Goafer Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 the worst 4 words you can hear from a potential date.... "i know your ex" I dunno, "I'm Soviet war criminal" and "Let's talk about Jesus" rank pretty highly too.
Goafer Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Or @Goafer's go to line "Look at my cars" I like to think they'd be impressed with the logistics involved in getting them both to a date. "If he can organise getting 2 cars somewhere, imagine how good he is in the sack" I imagine they'd say. Unless you're talking about my Hotwheels collection, in which case, they'd fucking swoon themselves into a frenzy. I have a Camper Van and a Beetle.
stuwii Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Not having a lot of luck on tinder or POF, not too sure what I need to change , I'm a good looking athletic guy so I should be okay but just not getting anywhere at the moment . Any masters on here ?
Goafer Posted August 9, 2016 Posted August 9, 2016 Not having a lot of luck on tinder or POF, not too sure what I need to change , I'm a good looking athletic guy so I should be okay but just not getting anywhere at the moment . Any masters on here ? Step 1: Get 2 cars. Step 2: Open every message with "Look at my cars". Step 3: Make sure you have a stick handy, because you're going to be fending off the women for a long time my friend.
Shorty Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) Not having a lot of luck on tinder or POF, not too sure what I need to change , I'm a good looking athletic guy so I should be okay but just not getting anywhere at the moment . Any masters on here ? On Tinder, if you've tried to write a clever or witty description, it might not be working, try something really short and straightforward or remove it altogether. If you're 6' or taller, mention that :p This isn't what I did, but it's what most guys do: On Tinder, swipe right on everyone, don't be picky. Then choose between your matches. Edited August 10, 2016 by Shorty
MoogleViper Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) Not having a lot of luck on tinder or POF, not too sure what I need to change , I'm a good looking athletic guy so I should be okay but just not getting anywhere at the moment . Any masters on here ? Try OKCupid. I found it to be much better than PoF and Tinder. Far higher response rate to your messages. Much fewer timewasters. Tinder in particular is full of timewasters; people who just enjoy "playing" it, and people who just want an ego boost. Edited August 10, 2016 by MoogleViper
gaggle64 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 the worst 4 words you can hear from a potential date.... "i know your ex" "When you see him, remind him that I have a particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career..."
Raining_again Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 Found out things that were said to this friend (turns out he doesn't like him that much either) basically the way he talked about me i was a cheap shag (legs and an arse that could crack walnuts) then he goes n gobs off in my direction about something completely unrelated and annoys me even more. Don't be friends with exes >___>
Kav Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 A year ago today I had my first date with my Mrs. Had the best year of my life and looking forward to so many more!
Cube Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 (edited) I know it doesn't mean much, but the girl who I used to like a while back (and hasn't spoken to me for quite a while) started talking to me again. She's invited me to join her MMO group and she wants to try the board game group out. Personally, I think it's the beard. Edited August 11, 2016 by Cube
Kav Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 The dangers of playing with super glue... It's actually her hair getting caught on my beard... it's like Velcro!
stuwii Posted August 15, 2016 Posted August 15, 2016 Very good dating week .... Might be okay after all
nightwolf Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Have been feeling a little bit let down this week. I've obviously been quite ill (see bad stuff thread), during this time the only person I've been able to rely on is a co-worker (bless her heart she stayed with me all day tuesday in A&E to make sure I got the right treatment). Since then, apart from my housemate, I've seen nobody. Not even my partner. My partner one is the one that hurts the most, because I understand my parents and sister not being here, because they live hundreds of miles away. But he lives in London and it sucked he wasn't here to help. Blergh, relationships are hard 2.5 years down the line and people surprise you everyday. Hopefully I see him this weekend to clear the air a bit.
Daft Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 I broke up with my boyfriend on the weekend. It was an incredibly hard decision and it really tore at me to be the cause of so much pain and confusion in him. Nothing was bad in the relationship. In fact, everything was better than ever. Except I realised that although I loved him dearly, I wasn't in love with him anymore. He's my best friend.
Raining_again Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Aw daft i'm so sorry Do you think you'll be able to stay friends?
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