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Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.


Kurtle Squad

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The first of 2 dates went as well as i thought it would, she seemed very nice. She text me on Monday saying she'd like to meet up again.

 

I ended up moving the Sunday date to next weekend, turns out she went to Ireland to watch the Wales game.

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Only ever been on one first date, and that was a decade ago.

 

Man I was in your shoes for quite some time.

 

Let me tell you, it's pretty scary to emerge from a long-term, serious relationship and have to start dating again. Even if your experience from before that relationship is above zero, the world's still changed a lot in that time and so have you.

 

Tinder has been a lifesaver though. I'm not sure I'll ever find anything serious through it but... well... having a pretty great time of it at the moment :D rescheduled plans did happen, had another awesome night last night. Never thought I'd be doing anything like this, in fact I expected to be married with kids by now...

 

I don't think I really have much of a point here, still feeling the glow :p

Edited by Shorty
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Tinder has been a lifesaver though. I'm not sure I'll ever find anything serious through it but... well... having a pretty great time of it at the moment :D rescheduled plans did happen, had another awesome night last night. Never thought I'd be doing anything like this, in fact I expected to be married with kids by now...

 

I don't think I really have much of a point here, still feeling the glow :p

 

Sorry, just had to come and post this. :P

 

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So get the conversation going again? Maybe try a totally different way of talking. If you're normally very polite and charming, try being more forward. What do you have to lose? If the alternative is that the conversation dies down and fades away anyway, try some different approaches.

 

Remember a lot of girls on online dating sites have to sift through hundreds of messages, you need to be memorable, you can't just be going with the same conversation topics they're getting from everyone else.

 

Sometimes I write a text out, something way bolder than I would normally say, and I sit and look at it for ages before I hit send. Then I think, what's the alternative? Delete it and hope they message again? Nah. Send it and see. What's the worst that can happen with this buffer in place?

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So get the conversation going again? Maybe try a totally different way of talking. If you're normally very polite and charming, try being more forward. What do you have to lose? If the alternative is that the conversation dies down and fades away anyway, try some different approaches.

 

Remember a lot of girls on online dating sites have to sift through hundreds of messages, you need to be memorable, you can't just be going with the same conversation topics they're getting from everyone else.

 

Sometimes I write a text out, something way bolder than I would normally say, and I sit and look at it for ages before I hit send. Then I think, what's the alternative? Delete it and hope they message again? Nah. Send it and see. What's the worst that can happen with this buffer in place?

Conversation is not my forte. I struggle with it still

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So get the conversation going again? Maybe try a totally different way of talking. If you're normally very polite and charming, try being more forward. What do you have to lose? If the alternative is that the conversation dies down and fades away anyway, try some different approaches.

 

Remember a lot of girls on online dating sites have to sift through hundreds of messages, you need to be memorable, you can't just be going with the same conversation topics they're getting from everyone else.

 

Sometimes I write a text out, something way bolder than I would normally say, and I sit and look at it for ages before I hit send. Then I think, what's the alternative? Delete it and hope they message again? Nah. Send it and see. What's the worst that can happen with this buffer in place?

 

This is the BEST advice.

 

But be a bolder you, but don't be what you're not.

 

Keep trying, do it differently every time! You'll find your feet! No one is good at talking to the opposite sex it takes embarrassing moments and learning what not to do/say.

 

Being down on yourself and saying you're never gonna meet anyone is not the way... you have to believe in yourself...... dattebayooooo

 

also @Shorty dude, so many props to you, I cant imagine how difficult your situation has been getting back into dating!

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Conversation is not my forte. I struggle with it still

 

So try more. There are plenty of places that offer conversation starters (example) which may seem a bit lame, but they're there to break the ice. I've been in plenty of situations whereby I've either used or been the recipient of those kind of questions and they may be a bit cringe but you know what? You don't really remember the question as it were, but you do remember the conversation and where it leads (which could be somewhere completely different).

 

There's also plenty of opportunities to try in a safe space (i.e. one where you don't actually have any risk). I'm not great at flirting, but I got better from working in sales (which is basically flirting for money). As daft as it may sound, there's plenty of internet chat rooms or things like Omegle that you can actually have random conversations with random people and outside of maybe seeing some old guy's dick, they're risk free. If you're not trying/worrying about getting someone to like you, you can practice having conversations.

 

And another idea, although I'm sure some people wouldn't agree with this, try messaging girls you may not want to date but can find a ground for conversation. Obviously people are on dating sites to find dates but sometimes its as much about not being lonely, even just in that moment, as it is about anything else. Obviously if they express an interest and you're not interested you must make that clear, but I've been on plenty of those kind of platforms and actually just been looking for conversations. As long as you're up front about it when it comes down to it.

 

More than that, take some random courses (maybe UX for the site ;)) and join some meetup groups. Yes, conversation may not be your strong point but you won't be alone and you know what? Going along to these things force you to give it a go and it makes it easier to apply it in other situations. I find polite chit chat tedious, but I have to for networking and I damn well do it when I have to. It's about putting yourself in that position.

 

tl;dr Ash Ketchum didn't just sit around saying he'd like to be the very best like no one ever was, he went out and tried!

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I have had, but no longer need one. My freelance work pays the bills

 

Ah that explains it.

 

Btw you might want to read @Ashley's post. You seem to ignore a lot of the advice on here just to moan about the same things again and again.

 

Edit. Also @Serebii I never mentioned having a job for financial reasons, I was talking about social skills which you claimed to struggle with. Why don't you try and sort these issues out instead of dodging them. Money is a very small reason for having a job.

Edited by Goron_3
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It seems a legit stat, for most people you'll spend most of your time outside of the house at work. After work you'll more than likely just wanna go home and mong about, so the majority of your social action is at work*, the other main one is going out on the lash.

 

 

* T'was how I met Kelly.

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If I were to get a full time job, it'd be at detriment to the site and would cause the site to die.

 

No thanks.

 

Ah that explains it.

 

Btw you might want to read @Ashley's post. You seem to ignore a lot of the advice on here just to moan about the same things again and again.

 

I don't ignore advice. I've taken a lot of it to heart which is now why I'm getting responses :)

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I have to try some of this advice for conversations. I'm utterly useless at one-on-one conversations, even worse when online and at starting conversations.

 

In a group, I'm fine. There are quite a few girls who go to the board game clubs I go to and I can talk to those easily. (btw, @Serebii, board games are a great way for conversations and stuff, and there's a group in Bournemouth). Although I have no idea how I'd even approach them for a date when we generally only meet with other people.

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