Kav Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) But for some people here that sort of effort is not important, and they may well be seeking others where it's also not important to them. Different people, different priorities. Even if it's not important to someone I'm meeting, I'd make the effort for the simple reason that I'm interested in them and so I want to make the effort for them... because it's simply nice of me to do so. If they can't even do that on the first date then they're not worth dating in my eyes. Edited March 18, 2014 by Kav Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) It's all opinion and subjective perspective really. One thing I'd say regardless however is don't forget nor underestimate your shoes. Even if you're not wearing smart shoes, just make sure whatever you are wearing(trainers, converse, vans, whatever) aren't in absolutely shoddy nick and if they are wear something else. Try not to have a wallet that's falling apart either(which I'm currently failing at). Edited March 18, 2014 by Rummy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheikah Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 If a girl turned up to a first date looking really casual I'd simply walk out on her. This is the simple reason... if you're not going to make the effort on the first date, when the hell are you going to ever make an effort?! You're kidding, right? So if a woman who was incredibly out of your league in terms of hotness turned up in casual clothes, you'd be like 'see ya!' Who are you, Gok Wan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kav Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 You're kidding, right? So if a woman who was incredibly out of your league in terms of hotness turned up in casual clothes, you'd be like 'see ya!' Who are you, Gok Wan? If she was "out of my league" she wouldn't have arranged to date me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheikah Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Why not? Don't play yourself down dude. Maybe she likes you for your personality? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kav Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Why not? Don't play yourself down dude. Maybe she likes you for your personality? Then she'd have known to have turned up dressed not too casually then, having known and liked my personality. Right? But I get what you're saying. Truth is I wouldn't walk out, just because it wouldn't be nice of me to do so, but it would put me off her a bit. She'd have to start from a negative position on the date as opposed to a neutral/positive one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 You're kidding, right? So if a woman who was incredibly out of your league in terms of hotness turned up in casual clothes, you'd be like 'see ya!' Who are you, Gok Wan? I understand your point, but I'm not really a fan of this "league system". If she agreed to go out with him, then she can't be out of his league...because if she was, she'd have simply said no to him when he asked her for a date. As for clothes personality and shtuff: Why hide your personality from somebody? They're going to find out more about you later anyway if the date was successful and they go for another one. If anything, by not showing them your personality, you're doing yourself a disservice by not revealing the real you and I guess you're also giving them a false illusion about yourself. I don't really believe in the idea of changing yourself to suit somebody else. You're just faking it then, and it might work well in the short-term/for a single date, but it won't be better in the long-run. If you are in it for the short-term (a one-off date, one-night-stand, etc), then I guess it could work. Different things work for different people. As for clothes: You need to use a bit of common sense in this area. The clothes, shoes, etc will matter, but I think they'll just as much be paying attention to your personal hygiene, having your hair done nicely, wearing a good aftershave/smell and so on. For clothes, you want to wear something that shows "you". In the past, I've normally worn a casual shirt (not going full-blown suit or proper shirt and tie unless it's a reaaally fancy restaurant and the woman is Scarlett Johanssen...) and that has worked out fine for me. It depends what it is that you're doing. If it's *ahem* a picnic under the stars in London, then you can probably get away with being a bit more casual. Plus, wearing certain clothes can make the date a bit formal at times, and it might not put the other person at ease. You want them to feel relaxed so you can get to know them, have a good time, laugh at their jokes, hoo hoo, haar haar, etc. But, like I said, the other stuff (face, hair, smell, manners) are just as important and make up the whole package. First looks count and unless you're extremely fucking unlucky and she/he/it turns around and leaves at the first sight of you, then they're going to be with you for a short amount of time anyway. That's when the rest of "you" comes into play. Letting them talk, good manners, being you, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheikah Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 It's just a term to describe someone who is to most people seen as much more attractive than the other person in question. And such people do date. Not everyone who is attractive necessarily only goes out with other similarly attractive people. At least, that's what I meant by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kav Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Dressing smartly (I'm not talking shirt and tie here) doesn't mean you hide your personailty. That's crazy talk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Oh all the subjective opinions. It blows my mind. Anyway, I don't get to see the boy for 3 weeks. Also I resent that comment about 'failings'. Pssh, doing just fine thanks ¬_¬. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramar Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Dressing smartly (I'm not talking shirt and tie here) doesn't mean you hide your personailty. That's crazy talk! Indeed. I'd say your choice of clothing/style would express your personality. Whether you dress to impress or casual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 On my recent dates (which I've had more than I'd like to admit :p) I've dressed fairly casually as the "dates" have been fairly casual anyway, usually involving meeting up for a drink (hot or alcoholic) somewhere not overtly fancy itself. In fact, I think the "fanciest" place I've been is a gin joint, and that's more Soho-art-wanky than fancy. I suppose its a case of playing it by ear. If you've arranged to meet up in a fancy restaurant, yeah at least put on a nice shirt. If you're meeting at Starbucks, less necessary. And run, because ain't nobody got time for a Starbucks-goer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serebii Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I dress very smart-casual all the time, so when on a hypothetical date, I'd not be too overly casual. As long as the girl isn't dressed like a complete slob, I wouldn't care if it was casual or if she brought it, anyway. Anyway, I'm still having no luck. No messages sent to me, no responses to any of mine. I don't get it :/ It has come to the point that I'm even getting rejected in my dreams, which is so sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm pretty dapper and I'm really good looking and I've got a great beard and lots of muscles...so, you know, no problems here. And I'm modest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I can't dress and I can't grow a beard and i'm pretty weedy from the waist up, but still, no problems. Must have a nice personality or sutin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Chicks dig a PhD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I just don't dress like a scrubber. Not that difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramar Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I can't dress and I can't grow a beard and i'm pretty weedy from the waist up, but still, no problems. Must have a nice personality or sutin. It's definitely not your sense of humour... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I can't dress and I can't grow a beard and i'm pretty weedy from the waist up, but still, no problems. Must have a nice personality or sutin. Maybe you're like...an alien or sutin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Gerry Baboona! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bard Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 This is all hilarious. Fuck, the night I asked my uni girlfriend out I was wearing nothing but a bedsheet and a pair of boxer shorts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 This is all hilarious. Fuck, the night I asked my uni girlfriend out I was wearing nothing but a bedsheet and a pair of boxer shorts. Did she make the effort too though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Did she make the effort too though? Yes. She was also wearing nothing but a bedsheet and a pair of boxer shorts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 The same pair. It was....awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 What's awkward is Bard and I have sung to her wearing less than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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