Ashley Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 So in the last few months: My granddad was told he has "weeks not months". Granted this was March but he is getting worse. My mother's cancer has returned. Was initially told it was 9mm so about the same as last time and she had her op two weeks ago and her appointment today and they've now said its 21mm so they've referred it for a second opinion as to whether she needs chemo My grandparent's dog also hasn't been given much time left My stepfather lost his job after he had an accident at work (longish story) My mother had to change her phone number after my little brother's baby mamma ex was getting her ~6 year old nephew to make abusive phone calls My stepfather's brother also has cancer My nan is wearing herself into the ground trying to look after my granddad (and he's refusing to go to a day hospice which isn't helping) So looks like I'm going to do full-time for a while at work because I'm going to pay her rent for a month or two (she refused when I proposed it a little while back but tough, particularly now her husband has lost his job) and seems like I'm going to agree to the one year contract extension. I did kind of want to leave the country when this was up (August) and while some things may have settled down by that point I don't feel it would be right to up and leave at that point. I just wish I didn't have to feel the need to be the support network. My little brother is a hot head who is too focused on his own self-inflicted miserable life and stoned off his face more often than not. My elder brother means well but he tries to fill every moment with incessant chatter and it becomes grating. My mother's husband can sometimes be great, but he bottles things up, gets stressed and has epileptic fits and/or narcolepsy. Looks like I'm going to be working full-time during the week then going home each weekend while she's going through chemo. Can things just settle please? Well my grandfather has passed away. I phoned my mother earlier and she said the nurse had told them it would be a few days so I booked a train for the morning and was getting my stuff together when I got a text from my stepfather, later a phone call from my mother, informing me he had gone. Apparently they were sat in the living room chatting with the nurse and he just went quietly. My nan is apparently distraught she didn't get to say goodbye, and I understand that but by the sounds of it it was quick and seemingly painless and yes you don't get time to say goodbye but it sounds like it would be a better way for him to go. I'm waiting to hear back from my mother and feeling a bit useless sat here. Wish there was something I could do to be helping. When I originally rang my mother I was on the way back from the shop having bought a father's day card for him. I know obviously it had no effect, but it seems like a kind of cruel irony.
martinist Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Ah terrible, my uncle died suddenly from bowel cancer in Febuary. Stuff like that really sucks.
Fierce_LiNk Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Sorry to hear about your Grandfather, @Ashley. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care, dude.
Ashley Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 Thanks guys and I'm sorry to hear about your Uncle martinist. Just spoken to my mother and it sounds like they've sorted out what they can for now. I offered to try and switch my trains to get back late tonight and she said there's no need. For now I'm just trying to do a bit of work. They're super understanding and said to not worry in the mean time, but I just kind of need to do something at the moment.
Eenuh Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather Ashley. My condolences to you and your family. It is indeed upsetting not getting to say goodbye, but at least it sounds like he passed away quietly and without pain, and that's something you/your nan can take comfort in. *hugs*
Raining_again Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 So sorry ashmon </3 My great uncle (the closest thing I had to a grandad) passed away with cancer nearly 10 years ago now, he luckily passed away very peacefully sitting on his chair. its horrid for the people left behind when it happens suddenly like that but its better than it being dragged out and painful for the person dying. His wife was more annoyed that he never got to drink the cuppa she was away making when he passed (we can laugh now, but it was just sad at the time) but I guess it was just the shock at the time!
bob Posted June 11, 2017 Posted June 11, 2017 My nan was very upset that she couldn't be with my grandad when he died, but he passed away during the night in hospital. It's sad, but unavoidable really. My condolences to you and your family, Ashley.
Ashley Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 To address another item on that list, they're having the dog put down tomorrow. Sigh.
Fierce_LiNk Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 That's terrible, @Ashley. Sorry to hear that. I hope that your luck changes soon and that things start going your way.
Ashley Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 Well the vet came out this morning and said she's got a few more months. It's been quite a few days...
Ashley Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Looks like my mother is careening towards a divorce after her husband has not only been useless this week, but has actively made worse. Having to come home every night because I'm staying at hers (she's staying at my nan's). I've so far done the very teenage thing of going straight to my room or going out but he collared me tonight and we kind of talked. He kept trying to ask me how I was doing but I kept trying to bat it back to him because he's the one that's drinking rather than a) dealing with issues and b) supporting his wife (and family) during this time. It's kind of terrible to say, but I'm looking forward to going back to London for a few days to get a breather before the funeral. My mother and nan keep pointing out that I've had no time to grieve and that is in part because I've not had a chance to. I am talking to friends (and this kind of counts I guess?) but I spend all day with them either helping emotionally or logistically and come home and lock myself in my room because my stepfather is wallowing and he's pissed us all off. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to write the father's day card for my granddad that I bought before this happened because I said I'd put that in the coffin with him (apparently that's a thing? Or at least putting things in the coffin is a thing. IDK, it's all new to me).
Ashley Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 Funeral was yesterday. I came back on Saturday with the intent of helping out and that but seem to have the flu or chest infection or something so I'm coughing a lot and constantly exhausted so I didn't end up seeing my nan until yesterday. Had hoped to have a decent rest last night but my stomach decided to play up so I was in pain and it was gone 3:30 before I went off. Funeral went well (as well as these things go) but the florist text yesterday with the bill and one thing cost over double her estimate. My mother intercepted the message before my nan could see it yesterday and told her today and she got very upset because she's worried about money and everything and it's just a pile of crap that's not needed right now.
S.C.G Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 It sounds like you've got whatever I've had for weeks now Ashley, three weeks on and though I'm over most of it but its left me with Laryngitis... Work's going to be fun tomorrow, I might make a badge saying something like "I've lost my voice, please lip read or request morse code" [/illnessRant] Anyway, I hope you feel better soon and have a speedier recovery that I did/am having, all the best to you and your family.
Shorty Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 On 6/19/2017 at 4:05 PM, Happenstance said: This heat really can just fuck off! Look what you did
Happenstance Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 I'm absolutely terrible in the heat so this weather is just fine for me lol
Raining_again Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 Go live in an igloo then @Happenstance lol I'm feeling crap, not much compared to other peoples suffering in this thread like, but i'm just sore and damn pissed off. My hip is irritated to the point where its going to dislocate, and my skin is so bad its actually breaking through my enormous tolerance level... (you get that kind of tolerance when you've been 70% covered in raw sores) My mum is being a dickhead, and my sister & I are getting the brunt of it. And my poor kitty is poorly again and will likely have to get the remainder of his teeth out. Here i am still hanging on by a thread... may not be after my visit to ikea tomorrow...if you hear of a murderous rampage in Ikea Belfast, you know who it was lol
drahkon Posted July 20, 2017 Posted July 20, 2017 Just read that Chester Bennington commited suicide. Fuck man...Linkin Park shaped my musical taste for years. He's leaving behind 6 children and his wife...can't imagine what they're going through right now.
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 20, 2017 Posted July 20, 2017 Terrible news. I still listen to them every now and again. Pushing Me Away is my favourite song of theirs and it brings back so many memories of growing up. Horrible for his family. R.I.P. 1
drahkon Posted July 20, 2017 Posted July 20, 2017 I swear to God, I created a Linkin Park playlist on Spotify only yesterday...Not sure if I can ever listen to Breaking The Habit again. Linkin Park was such a big part in my teenage years. The first band I've "really" listened to. I remember memorizing In The End the day I got the album. To this day I'm able to rap and sing every single word and I will probably always be. I'm tearing up
Nicktendo Posted July 20, 2017 Posted July 20, 2017 Like so many people of our age, Linkin Park were the band that shaped so much of my musical taste and were the soundtrack to my final years of school. R.I.P. Chester, you were one of my heroes. Thanks for the music and for the memories.
Beast Posted July 20, 2017 Posted July 20, 2017 I'm deeply saddened by the news. I always listen to Linkin Park when I work out. Numb, New Divide, Breaking the Habit or In the End are always playing at least once a day and Leave Out All the Rest is one of my all-time favourites. R.I.P Chester!
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