nightwolf Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 @Eenuh has everything I would have said. Except I'd also add that in under 25s (I'm not sure her age) cell change can be quite common, hence smear tests being 25+. Either way, she can potentially change the letter by asking her doctor to contact her by phone or text. I've set this up with my doctor's recently and is quite easy to do. Fingers crossed for your housemate, it's tough to receive that kind of news, but I'm positive that if it was very serious (ie. cancer) your doctor would be more concerned to get in touch. Either way, big hugs to her!
Charlie Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 @Eenuh has everything I would have said. Except I'd also add that in under 25s (I'm not sure her age) cell change can be quite common, hence smear tests being 25+. For some reason it's 21+ in Scotland. Strange how it's different between Scotland and England.
drahkon Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 A phone call might have been better though, in my opinion Yeah, that's what I meant. A phone call isn't 100% personal but it's an opportunity to clear things up at least a little. @Eenuh @nightwolf Thanks I've posted pretty much 10 seconds after she'd left the room, so I was still a bit in shock and not sure what it means. She didn't say anything about the letter; just "Cell change, may be indicative of cancer" so I automatically assumed the worst. She was in tears and I didn't want to ask. I googled a bit and read your link, Eenuh, so it's a bit clearer to me now. I guess she already talked with her parents/boyfriend/friends over the phone so there's no need for me to do it again/initiate a conversation about it. She also probably did some research herself, maybe even called her doctor. The shock is gone, worries are still there, though. She's had a rough couple of weeks already, and now this...
Emma Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 It's actually fairly common to be called back in after a smear. I'm sure she'll speak to her family and find that out, but I imagine it's quite scary to get the news on your first one!
nightwolf Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 For some reason it's 21+ in Scotland. Strange how it's different between Scotland and England. Agreed. I find it pretty saddening that here in the UK it's 25+. Its never harmful to get checked early, as long as the people who are checking know what they are looking for.
MoogleViper Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Agreed. I find it pretty saddening that here in the UK it's 25+. Its never harmful to get checked early, as long as the people who are checking know what they are looking for. But by that logic, everyone would go in for routine x-rays and blood tests. But it's just not feasible, and not cost effective.
ReZourceman Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 One of my roomates just came into my room, crying...She got a letter form her gynaecologist saying she has some kind of 'cell change' (no idea what it's called in English, I just translated it literally). It can mean nothing serious, but worst case: cancer. How can her doctor just send her a letter with nothing specific? Just "Yeah, your cells have changed; please come talk to us." She is - understandably - scared and confused. And I, being the social awkward guy in those kind of situations, just sat there in silence. Claire had this about six months ago. She was worried out of her mind for about 2-3 weeks inbetween the letter and the smear test, she spent ALL her spare time Googling it and finding out about stuff and ultimately it was nothing, she just had to have a slightly unpleasant (but brief) procedure to remove the cells and now she's fine. You can pass on that anecdote to your friend if you think it will help.
nightwolf Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 But by that logic, everyone would go in for routine x-rays and blood tests. But it's just not feasible, and not cost effective. Potentially, but it seems to work in Scotland quite well..
Beast Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I actually felt a little worse today after finding out that I was actually wrong. It's not been half a year since we've not spoken, it's been an entire year and a half ago! I was talking to my mate about it and he said that it wasn't this February because he remembers that when she started to blank me, he got with his girlfriend. I wasn't sure if he was right so I actually went back to my e-mails and lo and behold, he was right. The last message she sent me was a week after Valentine's Day last year! Like...wow! Anyway, you know how I usually deal with shit and how I always tell a bitch the home truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Well, this time, she can go and kiss my arse and she can wear my shoes for a change and see how it feels being ignored. I'm not going to dignify her with a response and make her feel better. Why should I? I've been left ages asking if she's okay and she never answered me and then she rolls out of the blue 18 months later asking for me like I'm going to run to her like some sort of puppy? Screw that shit! I am awesome and she lost her chance to get with this giant-sized, heavenly, milk chocolate bar! Bitches better recognise my awesomeness! ===== @drahkon I'm sorry to hear that your friend is going through a rough patch right now. It's awful sad to hear! I think it's weak that they told her through a letter. God knows what she must be thinking right now. My fingers are totally crossed for her and she has all the luck in the world from me! I hope she's okay!
Blade Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 @Animal Being ignored is never nice. Sending messages or calling people only to ignore you is not nice. So I do get where you are coming from. I wouldn't make any effort to see her but if shes willing to come to see you then I think you would not lose anything by seeing her. She could have a decent explanation. I think i'd go just out of curiosity haha.
Iun Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I actually felt a little worse today after finding out that I was actually wrong. It's not been half a year since we've not spoken, it's been an entire year and a half ago! I was talking to my mate about it and he said that it wasn't this February because he remembers that when she started to blank me, he got with his girlfriend. I wasn't sure if he was right so I actually went back to my e-mails and lo and behold, he was right. The last message she sent me was a week after Valentine's Day last year! Like...wow! Anyway, you know how I usually deal with shit and how I always tell a bitch the home truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Well, this time, she can go and kiss my arse and she can wear my shoes for a change and see how it feels being ignored. I'm not going to dignify her with a response and make her feel better. Why should I? I've been left ages asking if she's okay and she never answered me and then she rolls out of the blue 18 months later asking for me like I'm going to run to her like some sort of puppy? Screw that shit! I am awesome and she lost her chance to get with this giant-sized, heavenly, milk chocolate bar! Bitches better recognise my awesomeness! == Troo dat. You're doing the right thing. She's just being a tease: she doesn't want anything more from you than to be able to say to her grandchildren "Oh yes, I was pursued by a British boy once, he was totally into me and came across the country to see me."
Zechs Merquise Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I actually felt a little worse today after finding out that I was actually wrong. It's not been half a year since we've not spoken, it's been an entire year and a half ago! I was talking to my mate about it and he said that it wasn't this February because he remembers that when she started to blank me, he got with his girlfriend. I wasn't sure if he was right so I actually went back to my e-mails and lo and behold, he was right. The last message she sent me was a week after Valentine's Day last year! Like...wow! Anyway, you know how I usually deal with shit and how I always tell a bitch the home truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Well, this time, she can go and kiss my arse and she can wear my shoes for a change and see how it feels being ignored. I'm not going to dignify her with a response and make her feel better. Why should I? I've been left ages asking if she's okay and she never answered me and then she rolls out of the blue 18 months later asking for me like I'm going to run to her like some sort of puppy? Screw that shit! I am awesome and she lost her chance to get with this giant-sized, heavenly, milk chocolate bar! Bitches better recognise my awesomeness! See, if I was you, I would have gone and met her. I would then have fucked her. Not made love to her, not had sex with her, but FUCKED her. I would have have left her lying there wondering what had happened, her legs would have felt like jelly and she would have been light headed. Then I would have just got my stuff and left - but as I was leaving, I would have said - "If you're in any doubt, that's why they call me THE ANIMAL!" Then never have replied to her again!
Charlie Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Then I would have just got my stuff and left - but as I was leaving, I would have said - "If you're in any doubt, that's why they call me THE ANIMAL!" And then put your cape on and fly off into the sunset?
EEVILMURRAY Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I actually felt a little worse today after finding out that I was actually wrong. It's not been half a year since we've not spoken, it's been an entire year and a half ago! I was talking to my mate about it and he said that it wasn't this February because he remembers that when she started to blank me, he got with his girlfriend. I wasn't sure if he was right so I actually went back to my e-mails and lo and behold, he was right. The last message she sent me was a week after Valentine's Day last year! Like...wow! Anyway, you know how I usually deal with shit and how I always tell a bitch the home truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Well, this time, she can go and kiss my arse and she can wear my shoes for a change and see how it feels being ignored. I'm not going to dignify her with a response and make her feel better. Why should I? I've been left ages asking if she's okay and she never answered me and then she rolls out of the blue 18 months later asking for me like I'm going to run to her like some sort of puppy? Screw that shit! I am awesome and she lost her chance to get with this giant-sized, heavenly, milk chocolate bar! Bitches better recognise my awesomeness! S'cowards way out dude. Embrace the truth and tell her your feelings. Then she can stop doing it to other people. And then maybe a few months down the line you can regale her with the adventures of your former job and the death-defying journey to your new one.
Beast Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 @Animal Being ignored is never nice. Sending messages or calling people only to ignore you is not nice. So I do get where you are coming from. I wouldn't make any effort to see her but if shes willing to come to see you then I think you would not lose anything by seeing her. She could have a decent explanation. I think i'd go just out of curiosity haha. True but I doubt she would have a decent explanation. I've seen her active on Twitter and she had Skype and the dating site on her phone so I know she could have made the effort to message me. She just never bothered. Troo dat. You're doing the right thing. She's just being a tease: she doesn't want anything more from you than to be able to say to her grandchildren "Oh yes, I was pursued by a British boy once, he was totally into me and came across the country to see me." She was always fascinated with me living in the UK. I just find it so annoying that both of us invested a lot of time into nothing. Like, it pisses me off how easily she could have cut me off with no explanation so with that alone, it told me what type of person she is and I know that I would want someone who is able to speak and tell me reasons why. See, if I was you, I would have gone and met her. I would then have fucked her. Not made love to her, not had sex with her, but FUCKED her. I would have have left her lying there wondering what had happened, her legs would have felt like jelly and she would have been light headed. Then I would have just got my stuff and left - but as I was leaving, I would have said - "If you're in any doubt, that's why they call me THE ANIMAL!" Then never have replied to her again! LOL! That's amazing! But what would make you think she's worth the petrol money! I'll be honest with you: If I wanted a shag, I could have done around here without even travelling far. And then put your cape on and fly off into the sunset? Surely I would just transform into the beast that I am, right? haha. S'cowards way out dude. Embrace the truth and tell her your feelings. Then she can stop doing it to other people. And then maybe a few months down the line you can regale her with the adventures of your former job and the death-defying journey to your new one. I think I'm actually going to message her and tell her I'm not going down to see her and get to the bottom of this shit and ask her straight-out why she's chosen to ignore me for months and then suddenly talk...
Beast Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I've spoken to her on Skype. She's told me that she's had family problems and said she felt it was easier to keep it self-contained and when I was like "I appreciate that but it would have been good to at least say that, I'd have understood". She was saying how she was so wrapped up in presenting a facade for school and work that she didn't think of doing it for anyone else. I told her I messaged her on Twitter, Skype and the dating site and she said she never got the messages on the dating site (which deletes messages every 30 days anyway) or Skype (which, I'm not even sure about anyway) and she didn't know you had Direct Messaging on Twitter and she saw my messages. I said that I even tweeted her on her timeline but she never saw them....mhmmm...I just basically said that I've had crap going on too but I'd have just left a simple message saying "Hey, I'm fine but I have stuff in my life so I won't be talking as much right now". Anyway, she proceeded to tell me about the UK, her life and also the guys she dated (which felt great(!) but I saw it coming, I suppose). I spoke about my life as well and then she noticed I didn't follow her on Twitter anymore. Anyway, she used that and said "I know I didn't reply to any of your messages but you unfollowed me on Twitter so I think we're even" and I just replied by laughing and saying "Nah...not really". Personally, I didn't know when that happened but I think I actually did it after my birthday so there's still no excuse as to why she couldn't have messaged me. We just left it at that, she said she'd always reply to me from now on and I just said okay and that was that. Personally, I get that she has problems within her family but even then, these problems didn't just happen overnight. She says these problems have happened and I sort of believe her but then how can she explain the tweeting every single night about random shit, about shows she's watched and tweets to her friends? She knew my Twitter and she didn't think for a second to ask how I was or whatever, like she did with her friends? ...I just don't buy it... Thinking about it, I think I unfollowed her at the start of June.
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 This one is a non-starter, brah. Forget her, it's a waste of time and effort. You won't achieve anything and it can't be saved...unless you really, reaally, reaaaally want to keep her as a friend, so she can keep talking to you about these lovely guys that she's been dating. :p Move on, brah. Also, who the fuck comes to the UK and goes to Norwich.
Sheikah Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 She's a liar and by the sounds of things a drama queen. Best to bin people like that, they are no good to anyone.
Beast Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 This one is a non-starter, brah. Forget her, it's a waste of time and effort. You won't achieve anything and it can't be saved...unless you really, reaally, reaaaally want to keep her as a friend, so she can keep talking to you about these lovely guys that she's been dating. :p Move on, brah. Also, who the fuck comes to the UK and goes to Norwich. Oh yeah, I already have. I guess it was the right thing to do to speak to her because I have closure but it's still annoyed me a little. Like, I've had shit going on in my life where I've been visiting hospitals and I've been taking shit from family, 'friends' and my work but I've never not messaged anyone because of it but I never kept a pretense either. I've simply said "I'm okay but I might not be talking for a while. I'm not ignoring you but I just have stuff in my life I need to sort. Speak soon". That took me ten seconds to type, why couldn't she spare that much in her life? Oh and the whole dating thing was just like "Okay" as well. I did expect it though, considering we haven't spoken for months on end and I can't exactly be upset when I've done the same thing with someone else. Well, it wasn't a date but it was more of a hook-up with someone who I knew very well. I didn't tell her though because I saw no point. It's weird because I'd have liked to have had her in my life but I just can't ignore my feelings about this shit. I've got to the point in my life where I'm grown and I can't accept somebody treating me like shit any longer. I've done it too many times in the past to accept it anymore. Thanks to everybody for listening and giving me advice on something that may seem trivial to you. You're all awesome! ...but seriously, Norwich?! I've never been but even I've heard there's hardly anything there.
MoogleViper Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I'm gonna buck the trend and say that Norwich is actually a really nice city. Not worth a 3000 mile trip, but nice enough for a weekend visit.
Blade Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 See, if I was you, I would have gone and met her. I would then have fucked her. Not made love to her, not had sex with her, but FUCKED her. I would have have left her lying there wondering what had happened, her legs would have felt like jelly and she would have been light headed. Then I would have just got my stuff and left - but as I was leaving, I would have said - "If you're in any doubt, that's why they call me THE ANIMAL!" Then never have replied to her again! Amazing! Hahahahaha!!!!
Ramar Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 ...but seriously, Norwich?! I've never been but even I've heard there's hardly anything there. Lives in Birmingham, takes the piss out of Norwich. I rest my case.
nightwolf Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 See, if I was you, I would have gone and met her. I would then have fucked her. Not made love to her, not had sex with her, but FUCKED her. I would have have left her lying there wondering what had happened, her legs would have felt like jelly and she would have been light headed. Then I would have just got my stuff and left - but as I was leaving, I would have said - "If you're in any doubt, that's why they call me THE ANIMAL!" Then never have replied to her again! I was going to say how shit that is to do that to someone. But that line... I can't be mad. Continue sir. :awesome:
Beast Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) I'm gonna buck the trend and say that Norwich is actually a really nice city. Not worth a 3000 mile trip, but nice enough for a weekend visit. No doubt that it probably is but considering she's there for Shakespeare and stuff, surely Stratford-Upon-Avon would have been a better place to go to what with the Shakespeare theatre and things like that. Lives in Birmingham, takes the piss out of Norwich. I rest my case. I wasn't taking the piss, I can't judge it but I have heard of people going and telling me there's nothing there. Anyway, what's wrong with Birmingham?! You have chav-hunting, meeting the future stars of The Jeremy Kyle Show and people on dirt bikes constantly revving their engines around you and the amount of 'wall art' with some sexual references are here, there and everywhere. Also, I have forgotten to mention the baby mamas and baby daddies around. You can see some as young as 12 with 5 babies! Oh and the best thing about the future stars of Jeremy Kyle, you might even get a photograph and an autograph if you're lucky! There's plenty to do! :p I was going to say how shit that is to do that to someone. But that line... I can't be mad. Continue sir. :awesome: I'm 95% like that...I just go on again for another ride! hehe. Nah, I wouldn't just walk out on her like that anyway, I just wouldn't do it in the first place. However, I'm totally going to be using that line at some point in my life, haha. Edited July 8, 2014 by Animal
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