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I'm sure you won't rebuy it again, but it does make me laugh so many stories of people selling it to make a few quid then rebuying it a year later when there's a game they want, and ending up losing money overall.

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Capcom announced Ace Attorney 1/2/3 for Nintendo Switch at TGS just now. Its also headed to PS4, Xbox One and PC

Edited by Helmsly
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So - I’m pretty much done with the switch now... where’s the best place to get rid of it? CEX is fine for the console but I don’t want to sell Mario Kart, Mario odyssey, 1-2 switch, Sega sonic collection and whatever else for £20 lol

 

 

 

 

@Esequiel After the Wii I became extremely sceptical of Nintendo and performed great hesitance to purchase their consoles. Skipped 3DS and Wiiu. Was playing the waiting game with Switch and after this Direct I'm almost 100% certain they're taking the biscuit with capitalism. I'll never forget when one of their representatives said at an E3 press conference that they'll never satisfy their consumers in order to remain in business. I get that a man needs his bread to eat, but it's the intensity of their relentlessness in this regard that cheeses me the frick off. Like next to zero compromise of itching our back with genuine entertainment after we itch theirs with our gold & silver. I'll keep my iris observing the Switch On Super, but if it comes to fruition but sucks, or if it doesn't bloom to fruition, then that'll be the final nail in the coffin for them from me.

 

@NintendoJapan this one's for you for torturing me for almost 2 decades rounding up.

I didn't wanna have to go acapella upon these mothersuckers,

but this diss has become a no-brainer.

When the hell will the seven seas learn,

to not be mistreated as Nintendo's waste sperm.

Infinite promises to rocket our hopes high,

Joy from the Heaven they perceive by milking their own sheep dry.

 

What kind of imbecile purchases the same retro consoles at least 5 times?

The moron like a dimwit Goron splashes waves of rupees making his scammer filthy rich.

Beedle drugs you with his needle to get you to enter the cylce of emptying and replenishing his product line,

His airshop full of stock grows hot by shovelling a 2 of spades up your rectal spot until you pick up six.

 

In other words Nintendo is playing you with the Switch to make the retro purchase a sixth

-- gamed like a trick,

feel the rumble while their joystick penetrates your anal split.

Then continue to splurge,

by seducing you with the urge to purge up all your paper with their lightsaber.

These pimp lords are cultivating their suckers in the Dark Side of the harlot beach owned by the colony of Siths.

 

You horse around online free of charge.

Then forced to pay a fee to make em live large.

For what benefit?

Adding friends by decoding a friggin' digit?

Using a seperate device to chat clear and loud,

with limitations to software storage up in the infinite database of clouds?

A lack of messaging

-- to the noobs whom in the motion of teabagging you got their skinnyjeans stuck up they butt crevice causing an awfully unpleasant case of wedging?

Ports of games from the previous console generation which take the image of stone-aged software played by the ice-age civilization.

Third party software that only office clerks from third-world tribes gift their descendants on chinese new year,

and even those infants would disown em by floggin em on eBay as exotic souvenirs.

 

Everything about the Switch is so fundamentally wrong.

I think I see where it was supposed to be going,

it's the Wiiu but a hoe model in a thong.

So regardless of its inferiorities it still has all the horny lightsabers glowing.

Odyssey and Breath of The Wild are Switches flagship you say my foolish brothas?

On that I call an alpha male baboon's pink ass!

If you're a toddler,

then I guess Odyssey's an enjoyable roller coaster.

And as for B-O-T-W,

it made my j-a-w drop like an unrolling kitchen towel,

with the only breath taken from me being a disappointing s-i-g-h from how terrible

-- and unbelievable the gameplay has reversed into the Hall of The Shameful.

 

The ifinite present box is Ninty's business strategy,

seducing us to party like Mario unwrapping bob-ombs from annual Xmas trees.

Everything we give for our hopes, wishes and desires,

painfully shatters our world as it all backfires.

Meanwhile Bowser enlargens his crafty empire,

in his pimp hat he recruits more villainous minions to hire,

who help fuel the fire that he blasts like a liar,

to grow his kingdom higher and higher by sucking his consumers dryer and dyer hot damn!

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Well, that.. that was... something, I guess?

TL;DR - I don't like Nintendo anymore, and i don't like you idiots who pay them and are having fun! Be more like me!!

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I'll never forget when one of their representatives said at an E3 press conference that they'll never satisfy their consumers in order to remain in business.

I'd love to know what they actually said.

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@FartMeteors

 

My bad it was a woman but her name's slipped from my memory. During the Nintendo presentation (cant remember the year :P), I cant remember word for word but the bold message blooming well shocked and startled me, so that trauma is stuck with me. She literally said in something along the lines of "And guys, you have to remember that as a provider, we'll never satisfy the consumer by giving them exactly what they want otherwise we wouldn't be here for a long time. Yeah, right -- it's not the best business strategy." 

I disrespected that immensely as I admire creators who push their art to maximum so as to allow bursted limits to force genuine creativity. I felt that Nintendo were once like this, but clearly not anymore. They've become easy-money grabbing, capitalistic amateurs who've surrendered their talent. I honestly believe that if they as a company began failing in the public eye and lost to their competitors, I honestly dont think they'd be able to create awesome games (the charming combination of brilliant story or gaming concept, excellent gameplay with stunning visual). The fact that they have no clue what to do with Star Fox (among other titles..) says it all haha blimmin noobs.

Their was also a rep for another developer who generally said the same thing. Or it could've been Nintendo too actually lol forgot my bad. But it was about a creation game (Spark? Mario Stage Building Thingy? Something like these) the dude said was asked if the players could create any experience as in any game style and genre, and the dude hastily responded "Good God no! Can you imagine if consumers had such software available in their hands? They gradually would lose the necessity to rely on us as creators. *laughs*"

Again, I get it of course. If Usain Bolt can dash 100m in a flash, it wouldn't be the smartest idea to do that with his first race, coz then how will he keep breaking records for that big paycheck haha? But within the video game industry, you'd expect a little compromise, y'know?... Like actual new games and in reasonably GOOD quality (F Zero, Star Fox, Metroid, Mario Kart, Zelda, Super Mario, Smash Bros -- just to name a few), online functionality to british standard M4R10 and just a more mindful hardware and user interface design. Oh and making splendid use of the hardware concept (primarily motion controls, but yeah VR and AR too and all that jazz that they all 3 used to innovate into their technology).

But man in actuality we're getting ports, which those games aren't up to standards to me personally (Kart & Smash -- poor modes, poor online, poor visuals, poor stages and so on). And the new games such as Odessy and BOTW simply suck to me, I could write an article to explain how so but have already done so multiple times. And coz the hardware and online is just weak, not many relevant third party multiplat software are coming (Anthem, Destiny, Assasin's Creed, Mass Effect, Overstrike, Jump Force, and so on) and the few that do come are either ass or stink like it.

 

Not twisting anything bud, I'm not one of them sort of folks buddy. xD 

 

... Woops my bad for the typo @ArtMediocre :)

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Wow.

Also, I can’t believe I read that nonsense all the way until the part about Mario Kart 8 having poor visuals. 

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@Beverage I won't really believe Nintendo said anything like that unless I actually read it from a credible source, no offence.

And what you rant about, except from Nintendo having bad online and the switch being (in part) a port machine is mostly just your personal opinion. Too bad if you think Nintendo, the Switch and it's games suck. I'm having an awesome time with it personally. Maybe you should just sell the console and try again when something you like or think looks interesting hits?

And no worries about that poor typo mate. Keyboards can be difficult to type on sometimes.

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No offence taken chump. I mean champ. My bad my phone's on-screen keyboard is too tiny for my fingertips and it kinda responds glitchy which causes typos. Do forgive me hoe. I mean bro. :D

 

Is constructive criticism and/or expressing an opinion that isn't within the catergory of songs of praise is automatically labelled as a rant? Or is that you attempting a lowkey offence? :cheeky:

I mean, if Switch's quality thrills your mentality with stimuli then do you. I guess it's inevitable that a company who takes an easy route to success will please the easily-pleased, whilst dissatisfying the more complexed mind.  

Also I know some earthlings resort to accepting anything for as little as a drip of pleasure, like a drug addict who itches for but a drop of substance to flow through the veins. Not saying you're one of such humans, butcha boy's just sayin certain homosapiens be doing that.

 

For ↑personal reasons↑ I didn't charge like a raging bull to its slaughter to buy the Switch, and for ↑personal reasons↑ it doesn't feel bad at all. The only thing that feels very bad is the fact that Nintendo decided to be typical by whipping up a console that I dont desire. :laughing: However, I have close ones who own it which confirmed my suspicions, additionally I've seen youtubers playing through some of the games and I've seen enough to've enable me to form an opinion. So fortunately I'm not apart of the "many people losing money by selling the Switch", this saved me from buying trash. Or as people called the Wii -- "dust collector" haha

 

@Ronnie wow I cant believe that you read something that you consider nonsense all the way to its end. No wonder why you a Switch-looking boy. :kiss:

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All hail the overlord with the sausage fingers :laughing::laughing:

Good to hear you didn't waste your money then. And it wasn't a lowkey offence. It just fits the explenation of the word "rant" pretty nicely :p

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To suddenly give a long speech that usually results in rambling and repeating of nonsence.

 

Edited by ArtMediocre

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No offence taken chump. I mean champ. My bad my phone's on-screen keyboard is too tiny for my fingertips and it kinda responds glitchy which causes typos. Do forgive me hoe. I mean bro. 
 
Is constructive criticism and/or expressing an opinion that isn't within the catergory of songs of praise is automatically labelled as a rant? Or is that you attempting a lowkey offence? :cheeky:
I mean, if Switch's quality thrills your mentality with stimuli then do you. I guess it's inevitable that a company who takes an easy route to success will please the easily-pleased, whilst dissatisfying the more complexed mind.  
Also I know some earthlings resort to accepting anything for as little as a drip of pleasure, like a drug addict who itches for but a drop of substance to flow through the veins. Not saying you're one of such humans, butcha boy's just sayin certain homosapiens be doing that.
 
For ↑personal reasons↑ I didn't charge like a raging bull to its slaughter to buy the Switch, and for ↑personal reasons↑ it doesn't feel bad at all. The only thing that feels very bad is the fact that Nintendo decided to be typical by whipping up a console that I dont desire. :laughing: However, I have close ones who own it which confirmed my suspicions, additionally I've seen youtubers playing through some of the games and I've seen enough to've enable me to form an opinion. So fortunately I'm not apart of the "many people losing money by selling the Switch", this saved me from buying trash. Or as people called the Wii -- "dust collector" haha
 
[mention=4353]Ronnie[/mention] wow I cant believe that you read something that you consider nonsense all the way to its end. No wonder why you a Switch-looking boy. :kiss:
I find it much more funny to read these posts as if spoken by one of Jim Sterling's characters:

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3 hours ago, Beverage said:

I guess it's inevitable that a company who takes an easy route to success

Lol, yes. Dual screen handhelds, stereoscopic 3D, motion controlling remotes, touch screen tablet controllers and a console/handheld hybrid. Clearly the signs of a lazy company doing things the easy way.

3 hours ago, Beverage said:

The only thing that feels very bad is the fact that Nintendo decided to be typical by whipping up a console that I dont desire.

Oh well. I don't think Nintendo will lose too much sleep, given the Switch is the fastest selling console in history in the US, not to mention their two Game of the Year titles last year.

Edited by Ronnie
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@ArtMediocre Haha well if my pudding held me at gun-point to slowpoke her cake, then at least I wouldn't be shot dead by failing to do the job with skinny old cranky witch fingers. Having sausages can be life-preserving I suppose :bowdown:

 

@RonaldDuck Oh boy you're not the observant type, are ya Loony Goon? 

Quote

Lol, yes. Dual screen handhelds, stereoscopic 3D, motion controlling remotes, touch screen tablet controllers and a console/handheld hybrid. Clearly the signs of a lazy company doing things the easy way.

Motion control is a charming technological innovation to be implemented into games, but it hasn't been implemented consistently in immersive ways, so peeps be hating on it. That applies to all the other fancy shmancy things you listed. Wii was a great seller yet considered a dust collector, Professor Galileo. :geek:

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Oh well. I don't think Nintendo will lose too much sleep, given the Switch is the fastest selling console in history in the US, not to mention their two Game of the Year titles last year.

Precisely. It's pretty simple to please the simple-minded and statistics display that the majority of their consumer are geniuses of neural simplicity. Indeed Nintendo are fatcats who has cozy bedtime naps with full bellies. 

Edited by Beverage

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30 minutes ago, Beverage said:

Motion control is a charming technological innovation to be implemented into games, but it hasn't been implemented consistently in immersive ways, so peeps be hating on it. That applies to all the other fancy shmancy things you listed. Wii was a great seller yet considered a dust collector, Professor Galileo. :geek:

You’re shifting the goal posts. You said Nintendo “take the easy route to success”. But innovating every generation is NOT the easy route. That would be iterating on traditional consoles each year upping the specs each gen and not much else. So the success of their hardware innovations/gimmicks has nothing to do with it. They are far from lazy. 

 

30 minutes ago, Beverage said:

Precisely. It's pretty simple to please the simple-minded and statistics display that the majority of their consumer are geniuses of neural simplicity. Indeed Nintendo are fatcats who has cozy bedtime naps with full bellies. 

You remind me of Trump. Spout absolute nonsense whenever you open your mouth, then say “I’m really smart, other people are dumb”. 

So anyone who enjoys the Switch is simple minded now. Get a grip. 

Edited by Ronnie

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I'm going to assume this whole thing is an affectation but let's not get personal please. 

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2 hours ago, Sméagol said:

I absolutely loved Baten Kaitos. It edged out Tales of Symphonia for me as the best RPG on the GameCube and it's still a favourite of mine to this day. I'd definitely rank it above the Xenoblade games, even though the first of those was fantastic as well.

Gutted that Origins didn't make it across here. Never got round to importing it either but always wanted to play it too. Not getting a third entry does make me sad though (though I vaguely remember something about a DS game having been in the works as well back in the day that didn't come to anything). With Monolith Soft under Nintendo now and Bandai Namco holding the rights to it, u imagine it'll never come about but you never know with both Nintendo and Bandai Namco working closely on titles recently. One can only hope.

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5 hours ago, Beverage said:

Motion control is a charming technological innovation to be implemented into games, but it hasn't been implemented consistently in immersive ways, so peeps be hating on it.

I would say that it actually has made a great deal of a difference when it comes to console FPS like Splatoon, Fortnite, BotW and Doom. Those games are way better because of gyro/motion controls.

And I don't know why your dessert would point a gun at you, but whatever floats your boat :blush:

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4 hours ago, bob said:

What happened in here? How come I got mentioned?

That'd have been me. Boob I called you out for being another bosum whom donates itself as a test subject for Nintendo's mass milking experiment. But the WiiUniverse recued you. I was only joking though :laughing:

Edited by Beverage

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