Posted September 15, 2008 T_T... My comments are ripped apart by the forum. You know we only do it because we <3 you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Shes not said a word since shes got back...neither have I, nor do I intend to. *Looking for flats* Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, ReZ, but I'm afraid I just can't stop myself from offering advice... silence is the perfect breeding ground for bad feelings! Even if things are beyond saving, at least try to discuss things at some point before you part. Don't get me wrong, sometimes talking won't get you anywhere, but if things have to end then don't let them fade out on a silent note as it always leads to resentment and bitterness. It's easier to move on when you've checked your emotional baggage. I've made my choice, I want to marry you. Please. PLEASE. You didn't even get down on one knee. A man's got to have standards, you know? Aimless is pr0. Like Gandalf. Well, it's true that during exams I would always say to myself, "You shall not pass!" I can't say I've noticed any latent wizardry, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Man, I have had a fucking rough weekend. I've had relationship issues over the last few weeks too(i call it a relationship, i wasn't even aware how i felt properly until this time last week) and it eventually led to me having to cut the girl out of my life on saturday(we saw each other for 10 minutes and she asked me to leave), one of the best and worst friends I had, she was so flawed and yet so perfect that the goodness made all the crapness pale in comparison, but yeah, not been easy really. What made it all a bajillion times worse is that yesterday I woke up feeling a bit ill, put it down to having been on the drink for 3 nights running, but I got up and went to work anyway. As my day went on however, I got hit by dizziness, weakness, fever, aches, all sorts but in a mild way that I stayed(I also stayed cos it's like £10 an hour on sunday, and I have no work coming up) but yeah, had a rough night of fever, and a day in bed today feeling SO FUCKING WEAK. Honestly, my body can not do shit today, except lie under my hot hot duvet sleeping, everything else is a chore, and being in bed all day with just my thoughts is the last fucking place I wanted to be after this weekend. So many little reminders. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Thats really harsh!! I guess all you can think is you'll hopefully feel better tommorow and once you get back to work you won't have time to think so much, never nice though being pauly and having crap stuff on your mind. Try and have a wander outside 2morow if you can Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 I just went through my chest of drawers and wardrobe and now there's 4 bing bags full of clothes downstairs in the hallway. My room feels lighter. And now to vent some steam. Seeing ReZ's and Rummy's post's just now has just made me want to do this. Fuck it I may aswell let it out. My parents have split and I hope they get this friggin divorce sorted soon. If you read my previous post or posts in the past, this is the reason why I've been having arguments with my parents and generally why I've not been myself since the start of College, 2 years ago. It's been going on much longer though, about 5 years now. Since I was in High school. I've had to endure 2 years of college of it and to be frank I'm am utterly amazed at how I pulled off 3 Bs in my A levels. I was having serious doubts about my performance and I've lost a shit load of my creativity over these two years because of depression. I used to carry around a sketchbook and draw whenever I walked anywhere. Now I can't even pick up a pencil...and I want to take Games Design...HA. This is why I'm nervous and shit scared about leaving this house to go to Uni because this house is probably gonna be sold while I'm away and I'm gonna have to 'choose', as it were, where to stay; with me dad or mum. Although I don't know if I can call them that anymore, I have no affection for either of them anymore. My dad broke down in front of me and cried a little and I just stood there. Partly because I didn't know what to do, partly because...meh. My mum breaks down nearly everyday. After the argument, I previously mentioned on the last page, I literally felt nothing. I turned to my TV and played the FIFA 09 demo. Fuck me this house is a right state. I've been cooped up in my room all holiday only going out to work. I've gotten cosy and warm, in solidarity in my room. I dread to go to Huddersfield and not make any close friends like High School annd College. Everyone has those 'close' friends that you can talk to about matters and hang out, just the two of you, best mates. I've never had that because of this situation. I've had friends but never this, because of this fucked up family. I don't want to leave but I want to get as far away from this shit as I can. I don't even want to rewrite anything in the past. I just want it to be over with. I want to enjoy my adult life, not having to be depressed over some shit like this. Well there you go. Thousands of people on the internet can now read what I've kept cooped up from even the closest of friends I've ever had. I've never spoken of my personal life to anyone irl or online. I don't even feel better after typing this. I have more to let out but I won't bore you anymore. And so there you have my personal life. Do with it what you want. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Work was mmmmayyyhem today. Whole system went down trustwide, so that means a whole lot of extra work.. Done a lot of planning for teh sheffield meet, what with flights and train times n whatnot. Starting to get in mass panic mode about it all. gaarrrhhh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 I just went through my chest of drawers and wardrobe and now there's 4 bing bags full of clothes downstairs in the hallway. My room feels lighter.And now to vent some steam. Seeing ReZ's and Rummy's post's just now has just made me want to do this. Fuck it I may aswell let it out. My parents have split and I hope they get this friggin divorce sorted soon. If you read my previous post or posts in the past, this is the reason why I've been having arguments with my parents and generally why I've not been myself since the start of College, 2 years ago. It's been going on much longer though, about 5 years now. Since I was in High school. I've had to endure 2 years of college of it and to be frank I'm am utterly amazed at how I pulled off 3 Bs in my A levels. I was having serious doubts about my performance and I've lost a shit load of my creativity over these two years because of depression. I used to carry around a sketchbook and draw whenever I walked anywhere. Now I can't even pick up a pencil...and I want to take Games Design...HA. This is why I'm nervous and shit scared about leaving this house to go to Uni because this house is probably gonna be sold while I'm away and I'm gonna have to 'choose', as it were, where to stay; with me dad or mum. Although I don't know if I can call them that anymore, I have no affection for either of them anymore. My dad broke down in front of me and cried a little and I just stood there. Partly because I didn't know what to do, partly because...meh. My mum breaks down nearly everyday. After the argument, I previously mentioned on the last page, I literally felt nothing. I turned to my TV and played the FIFA 09 demo. Fuck me this house is a right state. I've been cooped up in my room all holiday only going out to work. I've gotten cosy and warm, in solidarity in my room. I dread to go to Huddersfield and not make any close friends like High School annd College. Everyone has those 'close' friends that you can talk to about matters and hang out, just the two of you, best mates. I've never had that because of this situation. I've had friends but never this, because of this fucked up family. I don't want to leave but I want to get as far away from this shit as I can. I don't even want to rewrite anything in the past. I just want it to be over with. I want to enjoy my adult life, not having to be depressed over some shit like this. Well there you go. Thousands of people on the internet can now read what I've kept cooped up from even the closest of friends I've ever had. I've never spoken of my personal life to anyone irl or online. I don't even feel better after typing this. I have more to let out but I won't bore you anymore. And so there you have my personal life. Do with it what you want. Man, that ain't cool, you seemed like quite a dude when I met you at the meet! If it's the family standing in the way, then surely getting away from them will help make it easier? Personally, I should think it's impossible to live out at uni and not make friends(though I wouldn't know as I lived at home, and as a result didn't make any serious friends and that). Too many people dread making friends, but you gotta realise everyone's in the same boat, and the good thing about making friends is when you've made a few, you'll find yourself constantly making more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 I just went through my chest of drawers and wardrobe and now there's 4 bing bags full of clothes downstairs in the hallway. My room feels lighter.And now to vent some steam. Seeing ReZ's and Rummy's post's just now has just made me want to do this. Fuck it I may aswell let it out. My parents have split and I hope they get this friggin divorce sorted soon. If you read my previous post or posts in the past, this is the reason why I've been having arguments with my parents and generally why I've not been myself since the start of College, 2 years ago. It's been going on much longer though, about 5 years now. Since I was in High school. I've had to endure 2 years of college of it and to be frank I'm am utterly amazed at how I pulled off 3 Bs in my A levels. I was having serious doubts about my performance and I've lost a shit load of my creativity over these two years because of depression. I used to carry around a sketchbook and draw whenever I walked anywhere. Now I can't even pick up a pencil...and I want to take Games Design...HA. This is why I'm nervous and shit scared about leaving this house to go to Uni because this house is probably gonna be sold while I'm away and I'm gonna have to 'choose', as it were, where to stay; with me dad or mum. Although I don't know if I can call them that anymore, I have no affection for either of them anymore. My dad broke down in front of me and cried a little and I just stood there. Partly because I didn't know what to do, partly because...meh. My mum breaks down nearly everyday. After the argument, I previously mentioned on the last page, I literally felt nothing. I turned to my TV and played the FIFA 09 demo. Fuck me this house is a right state. I've been cooped up in my room all holiday only going out to work. I've gotten cosy and warm, in solidarity in my room. I dread to go to Huddersfield and not make any close friends like High School annd College. Everyone has those 'close' friends that you can talk to about matters and hang out, just the two of you, best mates. I've never had that because of this situation. I've had friends but never this, because of this fucked up family. I don't want to leave but I want to get as far away from this shit as I can. I don't even want to rewrite anything in the past. I just want it to be over with. I want to enjoy my adult life, not having to be depressed over some shit like this. Well there you go. Thousands of people on the internet can now read what I've kept cooped up from even the closest of friends I've ever had. I've never spoken of my personal life to anyone irl or online. I don't even feel better after typing this. I have more to let out but I won't bore you anymore. And so there you have my personal life. Do with it what you want. Thats pretty awful. Sometimes you just need to do what you have to do, move on, and keep reminding yourself that things will get better eventually. Once your out of the actual house, you'll probably be able to focus on other things better. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Anyways, lappatop arrived, HSBC refuse to give me a student account because no one can be bothered to sort it out >>> called branch manager and he said he'd get on it, complaining ftw Go into Natwest (you're not taking a gap year, so free railcard > free travel insurance) tomorrow, passport, UCAS letter, accommodation confirmation and address, and a bank statement, and ask to open a student account. It'll take about 30-45 minutes, depending on the person who serves you and their ability to use a computer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 You only used Halifax because of the legend that is Howard:heh: Is that so wrong? Extra, extra, I know you want MORE! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Howard rules the world, well should do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 They say rubbing his head cures male impotency. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Really nervous about my meeting tomorrow, stomachs full of butterflies, hope I can sleep. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Today was meh. Woke up this morning and literally did nothing for like 8 hours. Wasting time on the internet, watching rubbish TV, sleeping. Have no idea why, but I just had no energy. Then I went to work, which was ok, and came back and played Resi4. Never did finish Seperate Ways for some reason which I'm gonna try and get done tonight/tomorrow, then maybe replay through it fully. Also, I really need to start getting some exercise. Is swimming good for improving general fitness? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Also, I really need to start getting some exercise. Is swimming good for improving general fitness? Definitely. Can be annoying when the pool's crowded though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 My school is like 30seconds away and does public swimming sessions, it's rarely that busy. Just seems a more fun way of getting fit than cycling or running. While there are some pretty awesome places to go round where I am I never have the stamina for it, whereas swimming I do. Only problem is lack of music. Wonder if I you can get waterproof MP3 players :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 Is that so wrong? Extra, extra, I know you want MORE! I still have my glorious picture of Howard on my wall next to my signature piccy collection. And I've known the words to that advert since it first aired. It's fucking sexy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 My right nostril has blocked itself up Though it's all the way up inside my head, like my nose has nothing in it and is fairly dry, but it's still blocked Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2008 [snip!] You needn't be so reluctant to share. I'm not saying that letting things out magically solves everything, but no one's going to think less of you for what you've faced. It takes strength to keep going sometimes, and I don't think anyone could read your post without respecting you more on the other side. I know I do. I'm confident then going to university will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. It isn't selfish to want a life of your own, and yours will begin in Huddersfield. Uni is a fresh start for everyone. Sure it's scary and it's easy to have second thoughts, but doubts feed off attention; starve them and they'll die off. It's not a cakewalk, but look at what you've survived over the last few years; you're stronger than you realise. We both know you won't take me up on this, but if you ever need someone to talk to or moan at then I'm only a few clicks away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2008 I'll catch up on these posts asap....but.....I'll be lucky if I get any gap between calls when it hits 9:00. Normally 8-9 is about 15-20 calls or under, between 3-4 people. We've got like...12 people in this morning (between 8-9) and we've taken 27 calls already. This suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks./ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2008 Didn't get much sleep last night, maybe four hours, luckily I saved some energy drink from yesterday to kick start me today. Got loads to do before I go out in two hours, iron my outfit, pluck my eyebrows, file my nails, go cashpoint, probably something else I'm forgetting too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2008 Fuck it I may aswell let it out. My parents have split and I hope they get this friggin divorce sorted soon. If you read my previous post or posts in the past, this is the reason why I've been having arguments with my parents and generally why I've not been myself since the start of College, 2 years ago. It's been going on much longer though, about 5 years now. Since I was in High school. I've had to endure 2 years of college of it and to be frank I'm am utterly amazed at how I pulled off 3 Bs in my A levels. I was having serious doubts about my performance and I've lost a shit load of my creativity over these two years because of depression. I used to carry around a sketchbook and draw whenever I walked anywhere. Now I can't even pick up a pencil...and I want to take Games Design...HA. This is why I'm nervous and shit scared about leaving this house to go to Uni because this house is probably gonna be sold while I'm away and I'm gonna have to 'choose', as it were, where to stay; with me dad or mum. Although I don't know if I can call them that anymore, I have no affection for either of them anymore. My dad broke down in front of me and cried a little and I just stood there. Partly because I didn't know what to do, partly because...meh. My mum breaks down nearly everyday. After the argument, I previously mentioned on the last page, I literally felt nothing. I turned to my TV and played the FIFA 09 demo. Fuck me this house is a right state. I've been cooped up in my room all holiday only going out to work. I've gotten cosy and warm, in solidarity in my room. I dread to go to Huddersfield and not make any close friends like High School annd College. Everyone has those 'close' friends that you can talk to about matters and hang out, just the two of you, best mates. I've never had that because of this situation. I've had friends but never this, because of this fucked up family. I don't want to leave but I want to get as far away from this shit as I can. I don't even want to rewrite anything in the past. I just want it to be over with. I want to enjoy my adult life, not having to be depressed over some shit like this. Well there you go. Thousands of people on the internet can now read what I've kept cooped up from even the closest of friends I've ever had. I've never spoken of my personal life to anyone irl or online. I don't even feel better after typing this. I have more to let out but I won't bore you anymore. And so there you have my personal life. Do with it what you want. Damn, that is a tricky situation. Sorry to hear that. Its similar to me....I don't like talking about my feelings because it doesn't acheive anything....but not talking about them seems to have a negative effect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2008 Eugh, I feel so ill Same. Went to bed early last night feeling like death had a rough nights sleep and still feel like death! On the plus side no school. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2008 Gotta say I feel a bit ill as well. My throat is all sore and red; even eating hurts. =( Still, first day of school today. Just got a long explanation about this year and the choices we can make. Illustration all the way for me! But yeah, afternoon we'll be having 3 long hours of Art History. Two hours last year was boring enough, now it's even longer. Anyway yeah, back to the usual life of work and stress, hooray. =P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
