Sexuality Thread

[Strider]

God women are stupid. I wish I was gay.

 

What's wrong?

 

At the moment i am being quized as to what i am going to do about someone who apparently likes me. It's slightly annoying.

[nightwolf]

I found instead of blaming one sex, I will continue to blame both.

[Slaggis]

Mistake number 1: You are trying to use logic and reason to understand a woman's actions.

 

Exactly!

 

One of my best mates, is currently in a complete mess of a situation with a guy now, and even though he's both a wanker and already has a gf, she's still messing around with him. She says she knows it's wrong, she hates the guy and thinks he's a bit of a munter (understatement) and yet she still does it.

 

Women are beyond odd.

[Molly]

But I admitted to her, after 3 years, that I do like her as more than a friend. So what kind of warped "pride" leads to her blanking me?

I don't know, the irrational kind? I'm just speculating, we've only heard your side of it, as someone said somewhere.

 

If she does like you then telling her you like her after 3 years, of course, should have been the time for her to say it back. But sometimes it just doesn't happen that simply; going from the woeful experiences of my friends mostly.

[The fish]

And share, share, share. I can safely now say it feels damn good. I always had this image of being reading my whiney bullshit and just seeing some stupid arsehole, but all I've had is positive. Then again, maybe the people who think I'm a stupid arsehole have just been too well mannered to post and let me know.

 

Ok, I'll do it, but if it backfires, I'm a-coming for ye!

 

I have recently started casually sleeping with a girl I met about 3 weeks ago - whilst this would, to anyone (myself included) sound like a perfectly good thing, there is a hitch. I'm living with her next year.

 

Everything, at present, is going quite nicely, but I fear that if and when things go wrong (ie emotions get involved), we're both essentially screwed for next year. Currently, I don't see things going badly - she's been casually sleeping with quite a few guys, and I'm about as emotionally hollow as the computer on which I type this.

 

Unfortunately, I suspect she may like me as more than a friend. She hasn't said as much, but I keeping coming across things that make me suspect otherwise. It's entirely possible I'm interpreting things badly because I'm paranoid, but I, personally, find things like almost constant texting and suggesting that we go to the cinema and fool around in the back row a bit too couple-like. There is also the problem of the possibility of her taking any attempted explanation of this badly, which will also screw up next year.

 

My big issue is this: I know, by every convention that there is, that I should stop sleeping with her, but I'm divided against myself - part of me thinks it'll all pan out fine, whilst the other half knows that there's a lot to loose, and is trying to make me cut my losses and run.

 

 

 

Well, Gizmo, you said it feels good to share, and I agree. I'm still worried, though, but such is life...

[Gizmo]

I don't know, the irrational kind? I'm just speculating, we've only heard your side of it, as someone said somewhere.

 

If she does like you then telling her you like her after 3 years, of course, should have been the time for her to say it back. But sometimes it just doesn't happen that simply; going from the woeful experiences of my friends mostly.

 

I think I get what you mean. But still, the wording of her text comes to mind (this is a direct quote of it):"But I don't like you in that way at all...i really dont have feelings for you"

 

I feel like if there was anything there, she wouldnt close it off so harshly. Or was she perhaps doing that for her own benefit, as much as anything else, to prevent complications? See now I'm just overthinking everything again. I shall try and avoid this analysis and just see where it goes, because churning this around and around in my mind does nothing to help me at all.

 

Ok, I'll do it, but if it backfires, I'm a-coming for ye!

 

I have recently started casually sleeping with a girl I met about 3 weeks ago - whilst this would, to anyone (myself included) sound like a perfectly good thing, there is a hitch. I'm living with her next year.

 

Everything, at present, is going quite nicely, but I fear that if and when things go wrong (ie emotions get involved), we're both essentially screwed for next year. Currently, I don't see things going badly - she's been casually sleeping with quite a few guys, and I'm about as emotionally hollow as the computer on which I type this.

 

Unfortunately, I suspect she may like me as more than a friend. She hasn't said as much, but I keeping coming across things that make me suspect otherwise. It's entirely possible I'm interpreting things badly because I'm paranoid, but I, personally, find things like almost constant texting and suggesting that we go to the cinema and fool around in the back row a bit too couple-like. There is also the problem of the possibility of her taking any attempted explanation of this badly, which will also screw up next year.

 

My big issue is this: I know, by every convention that there is, that I should stop sleeping with her, but I'm divided against myself - part of me thinks it'll all pan out fine, whilst the other half knows that there's a lot to loose, and is trying to make me cut my losses and run.

 

 

 

Well, Gizmo, you said it feels good to share, and I agree. I'm still worried, though, but such is life...

 

Well, how do you feel about her? Do you think a real relationship will work between you? Also bear in mind that stopping the sex now may offend her and cause more problems than continuing. Perhaps you could try and keep it casual as far as possible, and stop it off if any signs of animosity start to creep in? You could explore the relationship option with reduced risk to the state of your home next year that way.

 

Then again, as you've seen, I'm not the best at giving advice

[DomJcg]

Unfortunately, I suspect she may like me as more than a friend. She hasn't said as much, but I keeping coming across things that make me suspect otherwise. It's entirely possible I'm interpreting things badly because I'm paranoid, but I, personally, find things like almost constant texting and suggesting that we go to the cinema and fool around in the back row a bit too couple-like. There is also the problem of the possibility of her taking any attempted explanation of this badly, which will also screw up next year.

 

My big issue is this: I know, by every convention that there is, that I should stop sleeping with her, but I'm divided against myself - part of me thinks it'll all pan out fine, whilst the other half knows that there's a lot to loose, and is trying to make me cut my losses and run.

 

You know, theres like this urge that you sometimes get, its like before you give a speech, see a famous person, hand in your essay. It's survival, its telling you to run, run and run and run away from this situation. Here's why :P

 

You've started sleeping with her, props, yay etc, but your still sleeping with her, regardless of who it is, feelings are never thrown out the window, theres no way. You've said it yourself, she wants more, cinema? thats a date bro, not cool if you don't want to be in a relationship, get out, too far in, you'll hurt her and ruin a friendship but now, you can give a resaonable reason no?

[EEVILMURRAY]

People do act/say/shag/etc differently when drunk. As known it pimpsmacks inhibitions and the like, implying that the truth will come out more willingly when drunk than sober [scientific fact I hear]. What I'm saying is, see if you can have a word when you're both a little hammered. None of you charging through the crowd and shouting at the bar or whatever, follow Jay's circle of life everything happens for a reason thing, you run into each other on the stairs. BAM. Convo start.

[Pookiablo]

I found instead of blaming one sex, I will continue to blame both.

 

And I thought all the hating towards me was just your way of hiding your true feelings for me....aw nuts....

[jayseven]

Fishimon! What a predicament! Sleeping casually with a girl that is casually sleeping with other guys? Living with her next year, while she continues to be casual? Ok so you didn't say that last part, but surely that's a wonderment. I would personally find it hard to give such a girl very much of my personal self while I knew that she was, frankly, a bit of a whore. How can you justify investing your true form to a girl who treats herself so poorly?

 

But you're not in an easy situation! She clearly loves attention, I am just worried that she isn't too fussed about where it comes from. If you hold no feelings for her but you think she has some for you, then you have no future situation to worry about; just be sure to let her know that you think she's a slut, and thank her for lending you her pussy for those nights before you ship her off to the next one.

 

I kid! Kind of. I mean, you know she sleeps around and yet you think you might be leading her on? She is obviously extremely fragile about her self-confidence, so you need to be careful you don't contribute to her inevitable breakdown (in her mid-life years, probably). Start turning her down, before her sti's turn your penis permanently down. lol.

 

I'm sorry, I'm drunk and I will no doubt regret this post in the morning. Fish I think you're a great guy and you do not deserve a girl who sleeps around, ok? You deserve someone who respects you and herself; someone who keeps herself only for you, not some project to fix because she can't be arsed to calm her libido long enough.

 

AGAIN. I am drunk. Sorry. I think this has probably come across quite offensive. I don't mean it to! >_<

 

I'm saying IT'S NOT JUST US J7

Lol, very true! We are all indeed nuts, I just think girls have it that little bit easier, because in general they are in charge!

[ReZourceman]

Wowsa Gizmo, thats heavy stuff. I don't have any advice though. Women are completely mental.

 

God women are stupid. I wish I was gay.

 

Women also probably wish you were gay Moogle.

 

(One of the best comebacks I've actually ever seen.

 

Cocktail sausages arent much to be impressed by

 

[/Thread] Epic few days/day.

 

Mistake number 1: You are trying to use logic and reason to understand a woman's actions.

 

\True.

[nightwolf]

Fishimon! What a predicament! Sleeping casually with a girl that is casually sleeping with other guys? Living with her next year, while she continues to be casual? Ok so you didn't say that last part, but surely that's a wonderment. I would personally find it hard to give such a girl very much of my personal self while I knew that she was, frankly, a bit of a whore. How can you justify investing your true form to a girl who treats herself so poorly?

 

But you're not in an easy situation! She clearly loves attention, I am just worried that she isn't too fussed about where it comes from. If you hold no feelings for her but you think she has some for you, then you have no future situation to worry about; just be sure to let her know that you think she's a slut, and thank her for lending you her pussy for those nights before you ship her off to the next one.

 

I kid! Kind of. I mean, you know she sleeps around and yet you think you might be leading her on? She is obviously extremely fragile about her self-confidence, so you need to be careful you don't contribute to her inevitable breakdown (in her mid-life years, probably). Start turning her down, before her sti's turn your penis permanently down. lol.

 

I'm sorry, I'm drunk and I will no doubt regret this post in the morning. Fish I think you're a great guy and you do not deserve a girl who sleeps around, ok? You deserve someone who respects you and herself; someone who keeps herself only for you, not some project to fix because she can't be arsed to calm her libido long enough.

 

AGAIN. I am drunk. Sorry. I think this has probably come across quite offensive. I don't mean it to! >_<

 

 

Lol, very true! We are all indeed nuts, I just think girls have it that little bit easier, because in general they are in charge!

 

 

I wouldn't quite say that, but close enough!

 

And I thought all the hating towards me was just your way of hiding your true feelings for me....aw nuts....

 

I did tell you I wasn't bullshitting, you never listen to me damnit.

[Jav_NE]

We make plans to go out at night

I wait till 2 then I turn out the light

All this rejections got me so low

If she keeps it up I just might tell her no

 

Late at night she knocks on my door

Drunk again and looking to score

Now I know I should say no, but

That's kind of hard when she's ready to go

I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb

I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

Oh wayyyy ohhhhhh!!! Yeahh! Yeahh yeahh!

 

Sorry, this story just reminded me of that song. If you like her then its not worth giving up. She wouldnt sleep with you and hang out with you all the time if she didn't like you too. She probably just doesn't want to ruin your 'friendship'. She also probably finds the fact that you're not supposed to be doing what you're doing. Its not what friends do so its kind of naughty and risky perhaps. Its probably exciting. I know some people like that. They dont want it to be official and all hunky dory, its boring to them. That element of doubt keeps the sparks flying.

 

Of course, i dont know this girl, im just giving my thoughts on the situation. Hope it works out

[RoadKill]

God women are stupid. I wish I was gay.

 

I sometimes wish I was gay, but mainly because it fills a need to have sex a lot. Nerdy gays put out all the time, there's no big chase and pretend courting bullshit. If you want to fuck, you fuck and you get to have awesomely nerdy conversations.

[The fish]

AGAIN. I am drunk. Sorry. I think this has probably come across quite offensive. I don't mean it to! >_<

 

For someone who's drunk, you're pretty damn eloquent...

 

You guys have been saying what I've been suspecting I'll have to come to terms with. I'm seeing her tomorrow night, and I'll have to explain myself. Won't that be fun...

 

Sorry, this story just reminded me of that song. If you like her then its not worth giving up. She wouldnt sleep with you and hang out with you all the time if she didn't like you too.

 

It's kind of odd - I like her as a person and a friend, and I like the sex, but my mind wont let me like her as anything more than that, regardless of what I really felt, as I'm living with her next year.

[Gizmo]

Eurgh. Today was weird. She did exactly as I said, and we laughed it off and just ignored it totally. What I wasn't expecting is that I found that incredibly hard. I thought that would be the easiest, simplest way to deal with it - but actually, it's not. I'm finding it more difficult than I expected to go back to "friends". Even though it was barely anything. Now I don't know if I should tell her this. If she is, as Molly and a few others suggested, keeping up appearances but inside is as confused as me, it could help things; but I fear it's more likely she isn't, and that it will only make it worse. And if I do decide to tell her, how do I do it? "Hey, everything I told you yesterday is bullshit. It's too hard going back to friends for me" out of the blue? How will that help me? And then I'm bullshitting further by wanting to go after her, but still not cut off my chances with the other girl should things backfire.

 

Perhaps I should wait for Saturday and see if anything happens then. That Sunday morning, having been forcibly "friends" again for a week, might be a good time to tell her how hard I'm finding it, should nothing happen. If something does, then thats a whole other scenario.

 

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

[Ellmeister]

I'd say leave it for now. Its best to try and stay friends for a little bit. Yesterday you were crushed, no need for it to happen again. Perhaps you could just see if there's any inkling of what you think is true? Sneakily ask her friend? I don't know

[Jav_NE]

I went through something similar when i was younger. In fact i'm sure many people have.

 

I was crazy about this girl. We'd go out clubbing on saturdays together, just the two of us sometimes, and chat all the time on MSN and stuff.

 

Anyway, one night it went a bit further and we kissed. It was a bit uncomfortable to be honest as i was just like, wow, she kissed me after being friends for so long. She held my hand on the bus journy home as well which was nice, but strange. I didn't sleep with her though sadly. The next day though i was like, super happy. Wanted to text her and ask her out properly only to find out she wasn't interested in being a couple.

 

Next few times we went out were painful as she went off pulling other people, something she never really did before. I still dont know what went wrong. Maybe she was drunk, maybe it was a pride and image thing - i didn't know many of her friends afterall or go to her college, or maybe it was because i was older and leaving for uni soon. Who knows. All i know is that it didn't work out, and being friends with her was awkward afterwards.

 

We're not friends now either, as when i went to uni i met my current g/f and have been together ever since. The girl used to send me the odd letter saying she missed me and crap, which obviously upset my g/f and i ended up having to sever any contact with her to keep my g/fs trust.

 

It's weird, because that was the best thing for me to do. In the weeks after we kissed i only felt two emotions. One: im glad to be her friend, and two, maybe she will change her mind. Both contradicted each other though so you end up stuck and misreading signals. I'm glad i no longer have that lingering 'what if' over my head. She missed her chance and thats all there is to it.

 

I'm not sure if this story helps you, but i think the moral is to see how it goes for a few weeks. If things dont change in that time then it never will and you should move on. and i mean properly move on, as in dont think 'maybe'. Think 'never' and you'll be fine.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Seems like you've reached a standby point. Stay there, await what happens. See how things develop from there. That's probably the best piece of advice I can give.

[jayseven]

^What Jav says.

 

You're going from one emotion to the other at mach 3 - no, lightspeed, brother; over 9000 degreeees... Yeah. TIME! Give it to her, give it to her goood. Time, that is, if you didn't get the semantics there.

 

If you go from "best friend" to "we kissed, does it mean something?" to "best friend!" to "but what if there really is something here..?" in under a week, you'll just freak her out. This ain't no O.C. seagul-occupying love affair flying on a sky breeze! Or something. Shit, what did I put in that cigarette?

 

Play it cool! Wind yourself in and stop panicking. If she likes you then she's not going to change her mind in a day or two unless you do something stupid. Like tell her any more of your feelings.

[The fish]

It would seem that if there is some kind of god, or god-like being, then he, she or it really hates me - the one time a genuinely nice, hot, smart girl likes me is the one time I have to completely rule out a relationship. Shit.

[Ellmeister]

It would seem that if there is some kind of god, or god-like being, then he, she or it really hates me - the one time a genuinely nice, hot, smart girl likes me is the one time I have to completely rule out a relationship. Shit.

 

When do you ever have to rule out a relationship?!

[The fish]

When do you ever have to rule out a relationship?!

 

I'm definitely (i.e. contract is signed) living with her next year? There's just too much to loose.

[Ellmeister]

I thought she didn't want a relationship anyway? I thought it was casual sex....

[Supergrunch]

I'm living with my girlfriend next year, relatively unavoidably. I think things will work out okay whether or not we're still together though. *touch wood*