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Posted

Haha, where are all the cynics now? :heh:

 

Honestly, I'll be surprised if some of you have not even heard one of these things before. The "it's not you, it's me" line is universal.

Posted

I've heard the "It's not you, it's me" line. But the other way round, and i said it. This girl i went out with, total mental idiot, emo crazy

 

"Look, it's not me, it's you".

 

It was classic.

Posted
I've heard the "It's not you, it's me" line. But the other way round, and i said it. This girl i went out with, total mental idiot, emo crazy

 

"Look, it's not me, it's you".

 

It was classic.

 

Man, you have gone up about a million notches in my respect-o-meter.

 

Some people need to be told like it is. Well done.

Posted

I like the classic.

 

"I'm pregnant"

 

which translates to:

 

"You have no self control do you? You sick little pervert!"

Posted

Man: How are you?

Woman: Meh.

 

This is one of those "Waste the next 3 hours complimenting me or I'll punish you" bullshit things. One of my ex's kept trying this over Msn saying that my TLC is the only cure. So I went downtown on her ass, sending her on a guilt trip about "Isn't the love I give you enough?"

Guest Jordan
Posted

The funny thing is, this is so damn true in so many cases.

I've met very few honest and geniune females in my time, thankfully Letty (apart from a couple of times ie: leave me alone = looove meeeee....!) is very truthful to me.

Posted
The funny thing is, this is so damn true in so many cases.

I've met very few honest and geniune females in my time, thankfully Letty (apart from a couple of times ie: leave me alone = looove meeeee....!) is very truthful to me.

 

The first time I read that I'm sure it didn't have the bracketed part

Posted

The Men's Guide to What Women Really Mean By...

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention

 

 

You want

= You want

 

We need

= I want

 

It's your decision

= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

 

Do what you want

= You'll pay for this later.

 

We need to talk

= I need to complain

 

Sure... go ahead

= I don't want you to.

 

I'm not upset

= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

 

You're ... so manly

= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

 

You're certainly attentive tonight.

= Is sex all you ever think about?

 

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!

= I'm on my period.

 

Be romantic, turn out the lights.

= I have flabby thighs.

 

This kitchen is so inconvenient

= I want a new house.

 

I want new curtains

= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

 

I need wedding shoes

= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

 

Hang the picture there

= NO, I mean hang it there!

 

I heard a noise

= I noticed you were almost asleep.

 

Do you love me?

= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

 

How much do you love me?

= I did something today you're really not going to like.

 

I'll be ready in a minute.

= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

 

Is my butt fat?

= Tell me I'm beautiful.

 

You have to learn to communicate.

= Just agree with me.

 

Are you listening to me!?

= [Too late, you're dead.]

 

Yes

= No

 

No

= No

 

Maybe

= No

 

I'm sorry.

= You'll be sorry.

 

Do you like this recipe?

= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

 

Was that the baby?

= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

 

I'm not yelling!

= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

 

All we're going to buy is a soap dish

= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What's wrong?")

 

The same old thing

= Nothing

 

Nothing

= Everything

 

Everything

= My PMS is acting up

 

Nothing, really

= It's just that you're such an jerk

 

I don't want to talk about it

= Go away, I'm still building up steam

 

 

 

think that covers most things :D

Posted

"You are an asshole"

 

Means... "Fuck me til' my brains fall out of my puke hole, then fuck those brains and shove them into my vagina, thus making me cum like a complete fruit. Then follow that by surgically re-attatching my brain to my skull, and return to fucking my brains in."

Posted

 

 

It's your decision

= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

 

I'm not upset

= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

 

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!

= I'm on my period.

 

Be romantic, turn out the lights.

= I have flabby thighs.

 

This kitchen is so inconvenient

= I want a new house.

 

Do you love me?

= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

 

Is my butt fat?

= Tell me I'm beautiful.

 

Yes

= No

 

No

= No

 

Maybe

= No

 

I'm sorry.

= You'll be sorry.

 

 

 

I liked these ones the best. :D

 

Good list, I thought.

Posted

"Keep it in the family or I'll punch you in your hardened crotch"

 

Means... "Piece it together and I'll show you how it is. My beef is nicer than Alan Alda with near-sighted glasses. Previn. Previn, you like slop. Like another ten times to get what y'all want. Tomato."

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