Iun

Your hands or your eyebrows?

Let's also not forget Ulysses 31 and Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors! Also brought to you by that dirty frog, Jean Chalopin.

I think the best result would be if it goes up.

Agreed. Put your wing-dang-doodle in his thunderbox and have at it. The missus bought some sexy undies a while back, got to see them on her for 30 seconds last night

A very simple one: Kingsmill, olivio, crunchy peanut butter, a layer of cheese and onion crisps, smooth peanut butter, olivio, kingsmill. I call it the "Claggy Clogger"

SCC THERE MUST BE MORE! So help me, I will go own on my hands and knees before the Fox executives and beg if I have to! This is by far the most intelligent, well-acted and entertaining piece of television since Battlestar Galactica. There is no equal on television as it is, and I genuinely believe there will not be a better series for a long time to come.

Going ok, slightly stalled! We have to scrimp enough for a house frst, and the bank wants a 30% deposit! Flip! Did I mention I am the owner of the largest mint-condition Iron Man Action figure collection in the world?

Well, essential information first: My ame is David Scott Iun Rohhann Robert Jastallis Teleka Hockley. I'm 26 years old and the Director of English Studies at a school in Shanghai. This year I will marry my lovely Chinese girlfriend, Jasmine. The Bad Mother was adopted by my grandparents, her real mother was a Native American Catholic convert with 7 other children. Mum had a lot of abandonment issues. She had me when she was 15, my real father was kept away -I was told he wanted nothing to do with me. The man I consider my father, although not biologically, met my mother around age 18 and they got married at 21. They both loved me and took good care of me for 10 years. I had a sister who was stillborn. Mum always told me no-one else would ever love me than her. Trust issues for me. Age 12 my mother has another baby and suffers from severe Post Natal Depression. Never bonds with my brother, becomes an alcoholic and has an affair with a younger man. Parents begin divorce proceedings. For six months I live in a house with my father, who is sharing my bedroom with me, my alcoholic aggressive mother living in the main bedroom, my grandparents (mothers parents) living downstairs and my 1 year old brother in his small room. My grandparents camped out in the house ostensibly to "take care" of my mother, but in reality they were doing everything they could to destroy my father and take the house away. I had previously elected to stay with my father, even though he is not my "real" father. That angered them, so for 6 months my grandparents tried to destroy me too. Cue lots of time off school, dramatic weight gain, fear of going home. All culminated in my father being savagely attacked by my mother one night and us going to live with my other grandparents for two months. Mum eventually caved in, gave us the house and moved into my grandparents house for her own good. They bought her a house. Dad eventually finds another lady with a daughter from her previous relationship, and we move in together. I got called into my parents (father and stepmother) bedroom one night just at the begnning of my GCSE's to be told that my mother had been found dead in her home by my grandfather that morning. The cause of death to this day has never been found. It'll be ten years in May Lost my virginity age 14 to a girl who died 6 months later having a routine operation to have a cyst removed. Fear of hospitals and distrust of doctors. Age 16, minor brain tumour appears and is removed. Age 17, diagnosed with benign testicular cancer. Opt for a surgical route and experimental medication. Run a half marathon for Imperial Cancer Research (as it was then) with 5 other testicular cancer patients, 4 of whom were terminal. Raised 60,000 GBP for cancer research, only to be told that the money would be poured into funding research into breast cancer. Two weeks later, the terminal patients all died. Begins my long-standing hatred of Imperial Cancer Research and my strong anti-feminist bias. Diagnosed OCD and Manic Depressive aged 18. String of failed relationships ensues, one that permanently damages my relationship with my father due to his opposition of having a girlfriend during my A-Level year. Hated University from the start due to insomnia caused by assholes coming back every night at 2.30am and playing music til 4 or 5. Plus no time to bond with others thanks to relationship with G/F in Nottingham Uni, quite the distance. Two spetacular fights during this time: One I got stabbed in the arm in my home town. I literally broke the guys' eye socket with my fist. It wasn't even my fight and he stabbed me. He's now blind in that eye. Second scrap came as I finally had enough of the asshole at the end of the corridor playing music during exam week. Saw him in the communal bathroom and rammed his head against the sink, fracturing his jaw. The Good Always had a very high IQ, somewhere in the low 160's at last check. But find it difficult to focus. Graduated Reading University with two degrees, one in French and one in English. Ended up as a professional photographer for a while as my area is fairly short on jobs. Eventually head hunted by an SME to be the Trading Manager, extremely successful stint working with a government organisation. Didn't lie the job but enjoyed the travel opportunities, I was good at the job but I hated lying to people. Met a Chinese girl on a business trip to France. Decided to jack it all in and move to China and work as a teacher, captivated by the intelligence and elegance of the lady. Within 3 months I was sure I had made the right move for the wrong reasons. Girl was terrible but the place was great. Quickly established a reputation as one of the best teachers in the city. Anyway, got rid of her, met up with my lady and... yay! In my spare time I box and have an amateur record of 14 wins, 0 draws and 0 losses. If I carried the card to China it would be 18 wins now I'm a southpaw, even though I am a natural right-hander. My left hook is frequently described as "thundering" though I have never been able to uppercut. I have written for N-Europe for about 5, maybe 6 years. I enjoy Fire Flower as it never fails to get a reaction. I'm quite a successful voice actor and I was recently in the new Star Ocean game. I do corporate DVD's, books on CD, investor proposals, TV voiceovers and radio advertising. Used to be a big Pokemaniac, but I find it's gotten a bit too in-depth and fanboyish now. On my first run through in the game, I beat Brock with only a level 2 Metapod. My favourite game is Morrowind, I still regret that I did not bring my GOTY edition and Xbox with me to China. Oh yes, I am also the lead singer of a very popular band in Shanghai, we have frequent gigs in the fashionable areas of the city. Anything else... my health is generally poor, I've been partially sighted since age 3. And of course, I once gave my ex 8 orgasms in a row, she was unconscious for 30 minutes afterwards

I am partially sighted, so I can't see the 3D in 3D films, and going to see them gives me a headache

So our Alan is confirmed as interim manager! Well, while I can't say I am anything but unsure abut whether he is a good manager or not, he and Kevin Keegan are the only two men in football who would be given a fair chance by our often over-vocal supporters. On a blind-eye level, I personally feel very happy that one of my boyhood heroes is back where he belongs Let's hope it has the same effect on our campaign to stay in the Premiership.

Just a lot of greasy soap dodgers out for a day trip... "Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best"

Seems implausible... we already have a manager, but many sites are reporting it as fact... Pff. I don't believe it, to be honest, though I think it would be a big boost.

Hilarious, Shorty, absolutely hilarious... :/

That's more than a little cheeky. Club shirts and shorts are just as bad though. Support your club and country n'all that, but that's a little too much to expect with finances the way they are.

There's more passion in Taylor's left nutsack than in the entirety of your squad. Still, yes, he does deserve carding more often, he's getting reckless.

This is the first time I've ever watched 24, I like it, but it's a bit predictable. Plus soe f the acting is a little worthy... What's with the storyline stolen from Die Hard 2/Diehard 4.0? Still enjoying it, but it's quite derivative. Has Mrs Iun on the edge of her seat all the time, though compared to Chinese TV, this is Shakespeare.

If you see Chinese movies here, you have to pray that there are subtitles. Some of them are good, others are terrible. And sometiemes random inapproprate words just appear in sentences. For example, two guys are sitting on a coffee shop terrace. First guy: "I enjoy looking at the girls go by." Second guy: "Me too, partcularly if they're hot." First guy: "There's nothing more attractive to me than a shapely girl posterior." ...what?

Aargh... so frustrating. But typical Newcastle. We can play with the best, and we gaffe better than anyone. I suppose that's some comfort.

I feel the same way, but in Shanghai, it's people with kids that can walk that cause the biggest problems. They don't hold the kids' hands and the dirty little sproglets just run everywhere... you have to dodge up to ten little kids on a small pavement or you get shouted at by an indignant group of mothers. AND THEN there are the people who walk three abreast in one direction, slowly and give you snooty looks when you politely try to edge past them. My final big city rant goe out to the pregnant ladies wearing stiletto heels. Almost every day I will give my seat up to a pregnant lady or an elderly person. No issues there. The problem is those ladies who seem to believe being pregnant should have no impact on their typical lifestyle, who seconds before were somiking on the platform and are wearing shoes that would scare the crap out of Naomi Campbell. I'm not going to give my seat up to someone who has no regard for their own personal safety or that of their baby. On a crowded bus or train, wearing high heels is tantamount to putting a loaded gun with a dodgy trigger against your uterus.

I really enjoyed Red Steel, it had a fun story -which is pretty rare these days. The controls were not perfect, but the creativity and entertainment factors were off the charts. The level with the transvestite school girls being a particular high point.

I'll be buying an American one in China as soon as the prices get more realistig here. The current cheapest is 1400 RMB, which is about the same as the UK price.

OH, THANK GOD! I'm a narrow minded idiot who sexually stereotypes people! That's where I've been going wrong all this time! Anyway, in a slightly more "grown up" response to your slur, are you denying the existence of women who want it all? That strikes me as narrow minded. My point here is that there are those women who believe it is their god-given right to have everything handed to them on a plate, who as King V said, don't necessarily know what it is that they want, but instead are just aware that they want. Like children. They expect, nay, demand perfection in their man while simultaneously requiring carte blanche for every foible of their own. The issue beyond that is that if you are demanding equality, or equal treatment, then that should be a two-way street. But relationships never are. I'm sure you financially split things 50/50, but not everything else is possible. My point is that psychologically "I'm a woman, you're a man, you don't understand" has become a dangerous excuse for a certain percentage of women in the world. Happily there are those who are more enlightened, but those I fear are not in the majority. And calling a man a "pussy" for not standing up to a ladies demands.... that's a bit of sexual stereotyping right there.

I think this is just such a crazy situation, and I don't think it would have happened 50 years ago. Yes, people feel strongly about certain subjects -religious freedom, immigration etc. But this is all intrinsically linked to a lack of education and schools lacking the power to deal with these things in the first place. If the schools report a case of suspected extremism, what happens then? There's an investigation, the parents hide behind privacy laws and claim persecution of their religious or cultural beliefs. The poor bastard who brought it up loses his/her job and never works in a school again. The nutters responsible claim a victory and continue to use schools to recruit knowing full well that they have the law to protect them. What would be good is a return to the old "School House" system of the old days where everyone was pushed into working together and told to shut up and get on with it. That way any serious wrong doing would be rooted out by the pupils themselves, and enforces a life-long spirit of community and unity. Of course, this would never happen as most parents would cry foul.