Goafer Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 I've been thinking a bit about growing up and adulthood recently and I'm confused. When is the feeling of being an adult supposed to start? I mean I'm a few months away from 30 and a few weeks away from having a mortgage and I still don't feel any different from when I was 18. Hell, whilst typing this I have a comprehensive list of penis names open in another tab (Bethlehem Steel being my favourite so far) and am listening to a song crudely titled "FYI I Wanna F Your A". Do people ever grow up or is it just an illusion because parents hide adult things from kids, which makes being a grown up appear different (ie boring) to kids? Or is it that a lot more entertainment products (video games etc) are aimed at adults nowadays, so we are now staying in a childlike/creative state of mind for longer? Fuck it, I'm going to stay young forever. Like a rugged Peter Pan or something. Although everyone knows Rufio was cooler, even if his name did make him sound like a date raping super hero.
Mandalore Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Yesterday I got asked for ID when buying a lottery ticket. I kinda just froze for a minute in disbelief. The guy asking for ID looked like he was straight to Tesco from GCSEs. I guess I still feel mentally very young, find it hard to believe anyone thinks I look less than 16 though.
Happenstance Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Oh I've barely grown up at all. I think a lot of that is due to the fact that I was unemployed for a long time and stuck living at home (and hanging out with @Goafer most weekends). It doesnt bother me all that much as I see it as just "liking what I like". The lack of life progression stuff sucks but that'll come in time when I've got more money saved (and don't spend it on awesome Persona 4 models like I did this months :p ).
Serebii Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Typically, people start to feel like adults when they begin spawning their offspring. I'm nowhere near that and still feel young. I still get ID'd for everything. I have people thinking I'm in my late teens. It's all good. I'll never feel like a full adult, though, seeing as my life is just playing video games and writing about them Besides, what's the point in growing up if you can't act childish once in a while
Ashley Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 (edited) Suppose it depends how you quantify it. I've already succumb to the notion that I'll never own property, which is seen as part of growing up. I'm unsure if I'll get married and have a child (just the one), but I've still got time with that one (depends who you ask apparently, but I still feel like I've got time!) I'm questioning my career a lot (in that I'm not sure what I want it to be). Not sure if that's grown up or not. I think getting away from my family prevented me from having to be grown up beyond my years. It was all very Michael Bluth back there. I still feel fairly young, but then I go drinking with people that are 22 and hate them for their youth. But yeah, the concept of growing up seems fabricated in the mind of the young because they can't see the full picture. And this got me thinking; my fiends back home (he 6 months older than me, she 13) are either celebrating their daughter's 10th birthday this year or their 10th year of marriage (they got married the year after she was born). I forget which but damnnnn. Edited April 26, 2015 by Ashley
Happenstance Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Just to inform you all. @Goafer may have made this thread but he is spending today going to antique shops so he is full of crap!
Goafer Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 And this got me thinking; my fiends back home (he 6 months older than me, she 13) are either celebrating their daughter's 10th birthday this year or their 10th year of marriage (they got married the year after she was born). I forget which but damnnnn. Oh yeah, all my friends are also either married or have/planning children. A friend recently posted a photo of him and his girlfriend stood at the front door of the house they just bought. That was the first time I realised that we're now all middle aged, since that was the sort of photo my parents/older relatives would show me when I was younger. Now me and my friends are all doing that ourselves. Scary stuff. Just to inform you all. @Goafer may have made this thread but he is spending today going to antique shops so he is full of crap! Yeah, but the first thing I'll do is go to the swords/weapons section and drool all over the display cases. Then probably get thrown out whilst calling them all Nazis.
MoogleViper Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I don't really worry about being grown up or not, more that I've not achieved certain milestones/worry that my life isn't really on track. Things like being in a relationship, getting married, buying a house, having kids, being in the career that I want. I think as Ashley said, adulthood is a concept we create when we're young and don't fully understand it. As a teenager I always thought that I would be married with kids by 25. I'll be 25 this year and am nowhere near ready for that. I now know that I was naïve to think that would definitely be the case, but at the same time I still have this nagging voice from my youth that pops up every once in a while and reminds me that I'm still single, have little wealth, and am unsure of what to do in my life. That's when I usually start to feel down about it all. Not really sure where I'm going with this (which is quite apt considering the topic/sentiment). Basically the rational side of my realises that there isn't any such thing as "adulthood", but I can't escape that romantic notion I held when I was younger.
Fierce_LiNk Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 There's a lot of pressure that's put on people to "grow up" and I guess to conform to certain conventions, like being married, having kids, having a £40k a year job, having a fancy car, etc. I'm 28 now and I get constantly asked by people in work about when I'm going to have kids and get married, like it's some sort of end goal...at 28. There's a lot of things that I enjoy doing and I know that as soon as I have kids I'll have little time for those things. I've got friends who straight after school went down the marriage-kids route and are happy, but I personally couldn't do that. To me, the end goal I think is being independent and being self sufficient. Being able to "make it on your own" without the need to be attached to your parents and being able to do the things that make you happy whilst also fitting it in with work. At the moment, I'd say I'm pretty happy with that balance. I enjoy my job, but then I still get plenty of time to exercise and game, which is the stuff I enjoy doing. I do think people change and they "evolve" so to speak, but it's not necessarily a binary thing between being grown up and not grown up. There's lots of different levels in between. I guess some would find those milestones important, and to some extent they are. They show progress. To me, I see that progress in a different way. Moving out from home to go to uni was progress, getting my first teaching job was progress, moving in with Ine was progress, and so on. I definitely look back at how things were five years ago and think yeah, I've changed but in a better way and I'm doing things better than I was five years ago. So, I'm happy.
Goafer Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 I still have this nagging voice from my youth that pops up every once in a while and reminds me that I'm still single, have little wealth, and am unsure of what to do in my life. That's when I usually start to feel down about it all. The thing I've found is that you'll always want more once you have those things. I mean I'm in a relationship, about to own my own house and work in a career that I enjoy, but I still feel like I haven't really accomplished anything and I could always earn more money/have a nicer car/go on more holidays etc, even if it's stuff that I don't necessarily want. It's human nature to always want more and compare ourselves to others in terms of "life progress", so I figure it's best not to think about what you don't have. I'm 28 now and I get constantly asked by people in work about when I'm going to have kids and get married, like it's some sort of end goal...at 28. Ugh, don't get me started on that. I've only been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years and people are already asking us when we're going to have kids/get married etc. I know they're only joking, but part of it seems serious, as if they want me to follow in their footsteps so they can somehow validate their life choices, possibly because they regret them and misery loves company.
Jonnas Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 (edited) am listening to a song crudely titled "FYI I Wanna F Your A". Well yeah, Ninja Sex Party is very catchy As for my personal feelings on the matter... The more I see of my immediate elders, the more I realise I have a lot of time to be a "Young Person". Sure, I'd like to have a family one day, and I worry I might do it a tad too late, but if even 35 is an acceptable age to have a first kid these days, I get more relaxed. It's more important that I do what I want out of my life before I settle down. After all, finding a good woman to do it with is just as important, and not something to rush out of a bullheaded desire to reach a mandatory step in my life. If we're talking about watching cartoons, listening to NSP and other things normally seen as "childish"... To that I say that it's not our hobbies that make us childish, it's how we deal with other people and serious issues in our daily life that defines that. One could watch Phineas & Ferb every morning but still be polite and respectful towards others, just as much as someone can be a super serious adult while simultaneously behaving like an irrational bigot. Edited April 26, 2015 by Jonnas
Fierce_LiNk Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Ugh, don't get me started on that. I've only been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years and people are already asking us when we're going to have kids/get married etc. I know they're only joking, but part of it seems serious, as if they want me to follow in their footsteps so they can somehow validate their life choices, possibly because they regret them and misery loves company. I've heard some gems over the past year or two. *on a conversation about the future* "You should get a house, get married and have kids. Doesn't everyone want that?" *after a friend has given birth* "Jim, now you should have a kid so you don't feel left out and are part of the group." Can't even remember what I said back to that one! Can't have been pleasant. I don't know what it is, whether it's a generational thing or something, but it's almost like you're expected to drop your hobbies once you get to a certain age and are meant to then develop newer, more boring things to take an interest in. People keep asking me when I'm going to stop exercising or playing music and I keep saying...uh, never? I like it. Like a hobby or interest is supposed to be tied to an age. I wonder how many people there will be still gaming when they're 60, for example. Considering that many people grew up with it in the 80s and 90s and now 00s, surely there will quite a lot of people still doing it when they get to that age. I wonder if that'll be a more acceptable thing in future.
S.C.G Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I'm 29, will be 30 in just over 2 months time, am single, I don't drive yet, I do have a job but one which is only part-time and I review for the site because I still enjoy it. Am I happy? Yes, without a doubt. While I may still be relatively inexperienced in life having only had one relationship, not having really travelled to many places in the world or even managing to move out yet I still consider myself to be successful. Over the years I've played many games, reviewed countless amounts in the past decade and I only now feel like I'm starting to enjoy life, relatively speaking. Naturally I would consider settling down, having a family... if I'm lucky enough to achieve that but I see very little point in comparing myself to others and thinking 'I really should have settled down by now' because it's something which is completely different for everyone. I consider myself to be mature yet that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a bit of childish humour every now and then, or play a game which many might deem to be 'for kids' or collect plastic figures which I don't really have the room for. Will there ever come a time when I'll accept more responsibilities in life? Most probably... but I'm certainly not in any rush, as over the years I seem to have amassed enough games to keep me occupied for the majority of my lifetime so I'd at least like to be able to play through a reasonable amount of them. : peace: *goes back to playing Donkey Kong 64*
Serebii Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I'm 29, will be 30 in just over 2 months time, am single, I don't drive yet, I do have a job but one which is only part-time and I review for the site because I still enjoy it. Am I happy? Yes, without a doubt. While I may still be relatively inexperienced in life having only had one relationship, not having really travelled to many places in the world or even managing to move out yet I still consider myself to be successful. Over the years I've played many games, reviewed countless amounts in the past decade and I only now feel like I'm starting to enjoy life, relatively speaking. Naturally I would consider settling down, having a family... if I'm lucky enough to achieve that but I see very little point in comparing myself to others and thinking 'I really should have settled down by now' because it's something which is completely different for everyone. I consider myself to be mature yet that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a bit of childish humour every now and then, or play a game which many might deem to be 'for kids' or collect plastic figures which I don't really have the room for. Will there ever come a time when I'll accept more responsibilities in life? Most probably... but I'm certainly not in any rush, as over the years I seem to have amassed enough games to keep me occupied for the majority of my lifetime so I'd at least like to be able to play through a reasonable amount of them. : peace: *goes back to playing Donkey Kong 64* I'm much the same. I'm 28, turn 29 in July. Single, don't drive, but I run Serebii.net and that's huge. Some say I'm wasting my time and others that it takes away from my possibilities, but I don't care if they're right. I also do a lot of magazine work, and completely work at home. I too am happy That said, I would like to get a house soon. I love staying at my parents as it's a great way to save my money up, but being in my 30s and still at home is a bit sad. I'm in no rush, though, and no rush to find a companion to spawn my progeny despite others saying I should be now. Life is short and you only get one. If you're not enjoying yourself and are just trying to tick checkboxes for what others say you should accomplish by that, then you're not living your life, you're living someone else's. The main point in life is to be happy.
Jimbob Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I’m 28, going on 29. I’m a single chap who doesn’t drive, but I have a career. Am I happy with this, pretty much. I still get asked for I.D, which isn’t a problem as I find it quite pleasing that I look young. I've been told over the years to stop playing video games, to stop going to the movies and to stop going out. That's 3 things i enjoy doing, and i won't be stopping any time soon. I don't want to turn into one of them "boring" grown-ups, which would be depressing. I don't want to spend my Saturday nights watching Casualty or Britain's Got Talent. I'll be gaming for years to come, and i reckon many people will still do so. And i wouldn't want to get into a relationship, if i am expected to give it up in exchange for watching the likes of them shows. I still act immature at times, sometimes under the influence of alcohol. Others because I feel like it. Which brings me onto the big one, yes i'm 28 and still live at home. A few years ago, this was seen as being wrong. However in this climate and more and more people moving back in with parents, it's becoming the norm slowly. Parents, friends, work colleagues, neighbours and other members of my family have tried pressuring me into finding a woman, learning to drive and getting a place of my own. It has resulted in arguements, some quite heated. If there is something that needs to be known, don't pressure me. I do things when i want to do them, not when others insist it. Why does this have to be the norm, why is it perceived to give up things you love to do in order to do what is known as "grown-up things". I got a career, i'm happy with that. I've got savings, and i'm saving to move out one day. So yeah, pretty much happy with life. Got a career, living a pretty much independent life at home. No rush to turn into “boring grown-up” just yet.
Beast Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I have lied to everybody here for years. My name isn’t Darren, it’s Peter Pan. Seriously, I am the biggest kid you will ever come across. I love anything Disney, I geek out over anything Harry Potter or The Hunger Games-related, I still watch and love Power Rangers, I love gaming, I’ll buy any merchandise to do with movie series, TV shows or games and I collect consoles, games and blu-rays and you want to know something? I truly do not give a shit. I’m an adult in the way that I take responsibility for my actions, I handle responsibilities such as paying for my part of the bills, paying for my car and saving and stuff. The way I see it is that I work hard for my money so after paying for all of the shit I need to pay for, I can do whatever I want with it. As I type this right now, I’m sitting in my Spider-man onesie and many people will be thinking “What a kid” but I’m thinking “I like superheroes, I like Spiderman, onesies are comfortable so go choke on a dick” Look, guys, anybody worrying about whether they’re grown up or not, why worry about what other people think and why feel pressured? You only live once. I want to find love but that’s for me, not because people are saying I need to find someone and settle down. I need to find someone who understands me and understands where I’m coming from and I don’t want anybody to change me because I know myself. I want a kid but that’s not because society tells me I need to be an adult and at my age, I should have probably had one by now but because I’ve always wanted to be a father. I want my own place some time in the near future but that’s not because it’ll make me feel like an adult but because I’m running out of space to put my games consoles and my shit. So yeah, I’m rocking a Spiderman onesie right now and I love it and I know if I were to have my own place, have a partner and have kids, I wouldn’t change myself just to feel grown-up because I know I already would be. For me, the definition of an adult is taking responsibility for your actions and handling life issues such as bills and your family. Just because you like My Little Pony or whatever doesn’t mean you can’t grow up. Like what you like, life is too short to give a shit about anyone else’s definition of an adult. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be watching Spider-man Trilogy on blu-ray whilst in this kick-ass onesie!
nekunando Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I don't think there's an exact moment where you suddenly become a "grown-up" but I've definitely felt myself grow over the last couple of years. I've been feeling much happier with pretty much everything and don't feel like there's any pressure on my shoulders to do things I don't want to do or take my life in directions that I don't believe to be right for me I've been a university graduate now for almost 6 years and for a long time I felt like my degree was a noose around my neck where I had to pursue a particular career path and "make something of myself". I've been working full time in Spar for the last two and a bit years but a few months into my current role I was trying to juggle another opportunity that had fallen into my lap upon applying for a different job. It was a position that would make a little use of my computing degree but it was unlikely to be a permanent position and therefore one I couldn't risk commiting to in the hope that it would turn into something, especially given that I'd moved into my first place with my girlfriend in 2013. I was working between 5 and 6 days a week in Spar and trying to fit this other role in and around my shifts to the point where I was working every single day of the week and making myself miserable. It felt like there was a pressure to make the most of the opportunity as it could be a way forward for my career, but I actually hated it. I was so unhappy for a few weeks and took the decision to embrace my main job and concentrate on allowing myself to be happy and not worry about what anyone thinks I should do. Fast forward to today and I'm in such a good place I was recently asked what the '15.4.15' below my username was in reference to. That date has obviously been and gone now but I'm sure some of you will be pleased to know that this was the day of my wedding! I'm now a happily married man and so excited for our future together Life is really good these days and, at 27, I can't really ask for much more
Ashley Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I don't know how some of you can live with your family. I can barely stand two nights :p
Fierce_LiNk Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I don't know how some of you can live with your family. I can barely stand two nights :p Totally agree with this. Best decision I ever made was moving out. I don't think I would have achieved any of the things that I wanted to/have done had I stayed living with my family.
sumo73 Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 As one of the much older members here I've realised long ago that I won't grow up completely. For example, I was disappointed that I wasn't able to download the Streetpass theme and special Mii during Streetpass week recently. The big problem with getting older is that we will compare ourselves especially with others of our age and then think that we are still child like or not enjoying life to it's fullest because we don't have this or that or still play video games over 30 or in my case older. Being married or in a long term relationship, having children... does not by default make you a better person. There are plenty of failed or destructive marriages/relationships out there and plenty of parents who can't even look after themselves let alone raise children properly. I'm sorry to say this. As long as we don't hurt other people or ourselves in the process then I don't see anything wrong with trying to enjoy life while we can in whatever way we can and that includes playing video games. However, the most important thing to remember is that our time on this planet is limited and that we have a responsibility (regardless of whether you are a parent or not) to the next generation of people out there.
Serebii Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 I don't know how some of you can live with your family. I can barely stand two nights :p We like our families :p
Sheikah Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) In the last 6 months I have started what is my first 'real' job outside of academia, become a Dr. and am partway through having bought a house following our offer being accepted. It's fair to say that I've done my fair share of 'growing up' pretty recently! Still more things to do but plenty of time. We like our families :p I love my family too, but once you properly move out and get the freedoms/independence that come with it, no way in hell you'd really want to move back with them again. Edited April 27, 2015 by Sheikah Automerged Doublepost
Happenstance Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 I was recently asked what the '15.4.15' below my username was in reference to. That date has obviously been and gone now but I'm sure some of you will be pleased to know that this was the day of my wedding! I'm now a happily married man and so excited for our future together Bit offended that I didnt get an invite but congratulations nonetheless!
Serebii Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 I love my family too, but once you properly move out and get the freedoms/independence that come with it, no way in hell you'd really want to move back with them again. I have 100% freedom and independence. Only restriction I have is to not set fire to the house, and I'm fine with that as all my cool stuff is here.
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