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N-Europe

Online and Offline Friend/Relationships


Beast

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This was inspired by @Dannyboy\-the\-Dane's post on the Friend Management thread. I think it's safe to say that some of us have made friends because of N-Europe but there are also those who have found love as well (I think?) and there are those who have found love or have found friends somewhere else online.

 

There are some people who tend to have online friends and offline friends and categorise them separately or there are some who see friends as friends whether they are online or not. Do you all call all friends your friends or do you have two separate groups?

 

Also, are you different online than you are offline? That may be another thread but I feel it fits in with the theme on here and I can imagine you guys are getting fed up with me making new threads. I can't help it! So many thoughts going through my mind right now! :D

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Do you and Flink have some sort of bet going on as to who can create the most threads? (You're winning) :P

 

I fiercely separate my online and offline friends, to the point that if ever the two should meet, i would have to kill all of us. Let us hope that doesn't happen.

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I really keep my offline life and online life seperate, for obvious reasons.

 

There is an exception, though. One of my best friends is someone who I met through my site. He often comes here, and I often go there, all for drunken escapades, or we go to Southampton for laughs. However, I am always hesitant to mix online with real life, even in making appearances at Pokémon cons etc.

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I tend to call all my friends friends, though make the distinction more IRL to point out it's an online friend. When the worlds cross, like facebook or more recently with Xbox Live, I'll mention to my IRL friends that it's an online friend; but I don't believe there's any lesser a distinction of friend. I have known this community longer than people I know IRL who are my friends, and I hold people from N-Europe on even footing with some IRL friends. I notice sometimes when I talk of N-E to people, and the people I know, there's that kind of 'oh, online friends' spark in their mind, and I feel to need to point out just how significant N-Europe is to me. I've bridged the gap in places too, with a few forum members originally being from my IRL friend section, as it were. There's more tiering/grouping amongst my IRL friends/friend groups, but not so much for N-Europe.

 

I always find it strange to think though, as Marcamillian was the one who got me 'into' N-Europe as a news site, but I joined the forums way before him iirc, and have been far more active etc - but without that one IRL spark, I might not even be here!

 

(as for being different, not sure really. I imagine I'm rather the same, but of course I probably would say that :P)

Edited by Rummy
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I'm probably a lot less nervous talking online than I am in person. My personality isn't much different, but I am more open with online friends (mostly in terms of nerdy things), which is why I post on Twitter more than Facebook (Google+ is ideal, but nobody is on there).

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I tend to say "this guy I know online..." quite a lot. I went to uni and lived with an "online" friend for a few years. I've brought IRL mates to meets (ok, so one guy once). If there were more n-ers living near me I'd gladly welcome them into the fold... A fold, anyway.

 

There are plenty of people I know who still think it's... weird to claim to have online friends. I think it's perfectly healthy (of course I do, I've been here forever), except if all of your friends are online.

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Mine used to be kept separate, i was someone else online and a different person when out and about. I found that being myself online and offline is much easier, which i discovered back at the N-E meet 2010 when i first met many from here in the flesh.

 

That way, no surprises for anyone who ever meets me in the flesh.

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LONG POST ALERT.

 

It's the old "I'm bringing a friend home from school... should we play outside with the kids in the street or stay in?" dilemma reinvented for modern times!

 

I think the boundaries between online and offline are rapidly eroding. I can't remember the last time a boundary even really existed for me. It's more common to meet partners online or via dating sites than it used to be and naturally you're going to come across more people with common interests in online communities than when you're waiting in line at Tesco.

 

I'm not saying it's absolutely impossible, or even remotely hard, to meet people offline, but it isn't exactly challenging to meet someone and instantly match interests on the Internet. Maybe people now use the online/offline friend separation to divide their interests in a way that suits them.

 

One thing to keep in mind is that I started to have issues separating my online/offline life when I started drawing regular webcomics. Friends in real life would start interacting with friends online via forums or comments and it just became... normal for them all know of each other? I dunno.

 

Phew, this post sure is lengthy.

 

Here's a blurry picture of Homer Simpson fighting a dog over some ham to break up all the text:

 

Dog_with_Ham.png&sa=X&ei=o6YCUeL-Es-RhQfir4GQAg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNHgk6MqXSQYFtbjZgUQZz80mM6t8Q

 

END OF INTERMISSION

 

Back when I used to hang out in Yahoo! Chat and roleplay DragonBall Z/Pokemon at 15/16, the thought of people at school finding out about that kinda thing really freaked me out. But even then I was able to integrate some close friends with similar interests into the mix and nothing exploded. A lot probably depends on the types of people involved.

 

Online allows people to geek out and have fun, offline allows them to do all those normal things society expects of them to have fun. I can see that working for a lot of people and I'm sure it was that way for me a fair few years ago.

 

Current me barely has any online-only friends. Most are either people I meet online, then offline and just stayed in touch with... or people I met offline and speak with online.

 

Many of my past online friends could be compared to... an old Pot Noodle you have in the cupboard. It expired years ago and you probably won't ever eat it, but every now and again you come across it when moving stuff around and remember it, only to promptly shove it behind more stuff to be forgotten again.

 

Edited by Guy
I MUST EDIT EVERY POST
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Do you all remember when Eevil started leaving messages for someone (was it Mr Odwin) near the beef jerky in the supermarket where he worked. I remeber thinking that it was amazing that two 'online' people had almost made contact in the outside world.

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I've blended mine fairly successfully in the past.

 

Friends are friends, online or offline.

 

Exactly the same here. I don't really make distinctions, a friend is a friend, whether I've met them or not.

 

Heck, made a lot of friends online and quite a few of them I've met when possible, yourself included.

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I use to be one of those people who'd separate online friends from 'offline' friends (at least online makes sense.. offline sounds stupid). I can put it down to the fact I'm not very trusting and I'm always weary of new people. However I met a few guys I played Counter-strike with, in fact some of them I've met up with several times and I now just consider them friends.

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I don't actually separate anyone, but they all play different roles:

 

Online friends - Mostly people I met when I was obsessed with roller coasters. These have been very loyal over the years (eg. on Facebook), actually, as they still don't know how bad my personality is. I think I had a better one in those days.

 

School friends - The people who realised I was a weirdo many years ago. I don't actually arrange social activities with them any more, but it's great to bump into them. It feels very natural and relaxed, same goes for the ones I still talk to on the internet.

 

Workmates - These are the people I actually socialise with at the moment, although they don't really comment on my stuff on Facebook. They invite me to parties and such, but I think I'm getting on their nerves at the moment!

 

...Plus a few people from the gym.

 

So yeah, whilst I'm not too shy and I hope I'm pleasant company, I'm not really a party animal or a hugely social creature.

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This is awkward... A lot of my 'best friends' I would never have met if it wasn't for online gaming. We met through lanning at counter-strike competitions, which would obviously never have existed if it wasnt for the success of C-S online.. that's going back 10 years now, none of us game seriously anymore but yeah, some of my best friends I have now were met through that scene.

 

I also have a very good mate that we met through WoW. He lives in another state, and regularly comes to visit us.. also comes to our annual 'boys trip' :P Quite a cool story actually.

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I see Ashley[...]Bard rarely.

 

This should change now that I have a cube again!

 

If I want to be friends with someone I met online, I would make an effort to meet them offline anyway (where possible).

 

There's some separation, but then most of my social circles are largely separate anyway (animation people, (ex) work colleagues etc). Although my housemate has met Bard, Daft, Dan Dare and Razz (and maybe others...I forget).

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Do you all remember when Eevil started leaving messages for someone (was it Mr Odwin) near the beef jerky in the supermarket where he worked. I remeber thinking that it was amazing that two 'online' people had almost made contact in the outside world.

 

I found out I live in the same town as The Fish (nto sure if he's still on here, was a while ago) and had a chance meeting with him in the street last year. Naturally I greeted him with 'Hey! The fish!'. A good lad!

 

And former forum regular dom_jcq, or something, was the son of my old general studies teacher. Random.

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I consider them separately. Although with some the distinction blurs. For example, there was a friend at uni, and through him I talked to his brother and his friend online. I have since met them a few times, and still talk to them most days through skype. It also runs a bit deeper. I only know the uni friend, because I met him through another uni friend, and they knew each other from playing WoW.

 

 

That was a lot more boring than I first thought.

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We all live in the same world, a friend is a friend, no matter the medium in which you conduct your relationship.

 

But there's a difference between online interaction and physical interaction. There are things that you can only do in one. You can represent yourself in one medium in ways that would be very difficult in the other.

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I still get mixed up between Razz, Dazz and Rizz(lygloves). Are they all the same person?

 

Edit: which brings me to something that just doesn't happen with real life friends, they don't just change their screen name and you have no idea where they went...

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But there's a difference between online interaction and physical interaction. There are things that you can only do in one. You can represent yourself in one medium in ways that would be very difficult in the other.

 

It's definitely easier to do some things in one than it is the other but there's nothing that isn't possible in both. Certainly might be more awkward/harder/embarrassing, comes down to your comfort level.

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