Gizmo Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 You clearly do not understand why my site is so successful. It does have to be me. I don't need to drop it, or to delegate. It's no different to a lawyer having to do overtime and throw himself into a case, or a deadline for developing a game or writing a magazine. I also don't put it ahead of socialising, except in times of new games. Every other time, I'm social, I go out, I have fun. I'd like it if you guys didn't try to diminish my work. Until you realise what's wrong with this post right here, you won't manage to change anything about your life and get onto the track that you seem to want to be on.
Ashley Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Yeah get volunteers to contribute! You can still check it over before it's out, but you'd literally be doing less work for the same amount of reward. Serious question, would you ever give up the job? If you found a different one that offered similar/better money with less demand on your time? Do you ever see yourself giving it up?
Goron_3 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Yeah get volunteers to contribute! You can still check it over before it's out, but you'd literally be doing less work for the same amount of reward. Serious question, would you ever give up the job? If you found a different one that offered similar/better money with less demand on your time? Do you ever see yourself giving it up? I think he's posted before saying that he would never give it up. It's his 'baby' so to speak. Until you realise what's wrong with this post right here, you won't manage to change anything about your life and get onto the track that you seem to want to be on. Pretty much. Genuinely felt sad reading this
Serebii Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Until you realise what's wrong with this post right here, you won't manage to change anything about your life and get onto the track that you seem to want to be on. There's nothing wrong with the post...
Ashley Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Work to live, don't live to work. Even at busy times that lawyer, programmer and journalist will still rely on others to help them get through it, professionally and emotionally. Nobody is trying to diminish your work, but rather point out how work is diminishing you.
jayseven Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 here's a post from over three years ago where Serebii first mentioned his dry spell and people started to try to help by giving genuine advice. In those three years since, I've spent a year abroad, broken up and dated another girl, broken up with her then dated the first girl again. I've got a job, got a place to live, got some new scars and new friends. And I long since stopped trying to help serebii. And kinda wish others would, too, because it clogs up this gossip-ful thread!
Goron_3 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 There's nothing wrong with the post... Dude, I really feel for you if you think that. There's so much wrong with it. There are some fantastic people on this board who are giving you some great advice (and have been for over 3 years) and you still just don't get it I just hope your site makes you as happy as I, and others, feel about our lives, from the people we've met and the experience and knowledge we've gained about the world and those around us. Seriously, you should just pack a bag and live in Vietnam for a year or something. Much needed.
Blade Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) But seriously @Serebii i'm not trying to diminish the work that you do for the site. I acknowledge that you work extremely hard to keep it updated. I understand from your posts that working on the site doesn't stop you having a life. What concerned me is that you are 28 years old and shutting yourself away for three months being a social recluse. I don't think it's a particularly healthy thing to do. End of the day mate, just do whatever makes you happy. Each to their own and all that. Just wouldn't want you in another 3 years time, still without a lass, and feeling down because you haven't got a girl. Edited July 20, 2014 by Blade
Serebii Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 here's a post from over three years ago where Serebii first mentioned his dry spell and people started to try to help by giving genuine advice. In those three years since, I've spent a year abroad, broken up and dated another girl, broken up with her then dated the first girl again. I've got a job, got a place to live, got some new scars and new friends. And I long since stopped trying to help serebii. And kinda wish others would, too, because it clogs up this gossip-ful thread! Hey, come now. It has helped. I actually have improved my social anxiety issues considerably thanks to you guys here. The other day, I managed to hold a conversation with someone with whom I had no previous connection. Granted, it was about Pokémon, but it still happened. I wouldn't have been able to do that three years ago. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Gizmo Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 There's nothing wrong with the post... Hence the "until you realise". I don't understand what it is that makes you unique in your ability to run the website and fill the content entirely by yourself. Surely 3 interns working 8hrs a day can do just as much as you can running 24/7 for 3 months? You compare your situation to a lawyer doing some overtime but don't you realise that lawyers at top law firms will have an army of people working with them? I'm sure they find the time to see their wife a few hours a week even at the peak of the hugest case of their careers. I don't think it's unfair to compare yourself to the top of the top, given that you describe yourself as the biggest Pokemon site in the world; getting some people in to help you will only improve the quality of the content on there because it won't be getting written by someone who is sleep deprived and run ragged! You can still maintain full oversight and control of everything that get's published if you want to, but taking contributions will give you the ability to actually live outside of the website. How many websites that are #1 in the world are run by one person and one person alone? I've already gone beyond what I wanted to actually say in this post because as Jay has already said, you seem unable to accept the advice people are trying to give you. My girlfriends brother is very similar to you and trying to get him to accept that he needs to change the way he does things if he wants to move forward is infuriating!
Sheikah Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 here's a post from over three years ago where Serebii first mentioned his dry spell and people started to try to help by giving genuine advice. In those three years since, I've spent a year abroad, broken up and dated another girl, broken up with her then dated the first girl again. I've got a job, got a place to live, got some new scars and new friends. And I long since stopped trying to help serebii. And kinda wish others would, too, because it clogs up this gossip-ful thread! I agree, it's a waste of time trying to help anymore. We've all told him how to change to achieve what he wants but it's his sheer belief that he is shit hot and irreplaceable as well as his obsessiveness that will keep him unhappy. Beyond that, there's the clear attitude and behaviour issues that seem completely incompatible with a loving relationship.
drahkon Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) I'm still nailing that girl. Also, if a lady friend of hers (who I met yesterday) didn't have a boyfriend I'd totally have the chance to have a threesome with her and and my friend-with-benefits. Shame it's all "if" and "would". Doesn't matter, had sex. Edit: Aaaaand I've just read the last few posts. Now mine seems a bit out of place Edited July 20, 2014 by drahkon
MoogleViper Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Why don't you post what you're going to write in your online profiles here? We can give you advice. ...Because something is seriously going wrong if you're not getting any hits. Not only your profile, but what are you doing with it? How many messages do you send out on OKC? Most guys will tell you that their hit rate is pretty low. It's definitely a numbers game. You're not an undesirable person, far from it. If I had access to your profile I could get you a date within a week. I'm not trying to big myself up, far from it, but if you aren't getting any success it's because you aren't trying hard enough.
Goafer Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Whilst I can understand the frustration with Serebii, this thread is starting to make me a bit uncomfortable to the point where I need to say something. Whilst it is easy to say where he needs to change, there may be other factors that prevent him from doing so. Factors he may not have/may not want to mention on a public forum. Now I'm not saying everyone needs to be all touchy feely about it, but it seems to be heading towards everyone judging Serebii, which can't be nice for him (even less so since this is quite a personal topic to begin with), especially if there are other factors at play.
Blade Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I'm not judging him. He does whatever makes him happy. In my opinion it's not healthy being locked up in your house playing video games for three months solid without contact with the outside world.
Goafer Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Maybe judging was the wrong word. I mainly wanted to point out that it can't be nice for Serebii to read a full page worth of posts telling him to sort his shit out, especially if its doing things that don't come easily to him.
gaggle64 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I can and will affirm on Serebii's behalf that anxiety issues are not quickly or easily overcome.
S.C.G Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) @Serebii I can see it from both sides, I've been writing VC Weekly for N-E for a while now - VCW 300 just uploaded - and while it might not be the same level of work that you take on - heck it's not even as if I put anywhere near the amount of hours into this site as others do - but I can certainly relate as when it's something you enjoy yes I can see how it's easy to put hours into writing etc if it's your hobby. The lines can tend to blur though... however what you've achieved, turning your hobby into your website is nothing short of amazing and nobody can take that away from you. : peace: However I understand that it's also your source of income and so I can see how the site has become your life as it's surely a lot to take on, it's a burden of responsibility even if it's still something that you enjoy, which I take it that this is still very much the case? That you do still enjoy what you do... if so then that's fine. Just be aware that we're only trying to help you here, not meaning to diminish the work that you do in any way but just to try and put some perspective on it all for you. I dare say that you do get time to go out and enjoy yourself as well, in all honesty you have more of a social life than me in that respect as I very rarely go out to bars etc though that's just from choice and personal experience, I'm well aware that I'm not a very good example at all. If it came down to it though and you did decide to delegate any responsibility then you'd find no shortage of people who'd be willing to help - I'd even offer to assist if the opportunity ever arose on the understanding that it wouldn't jeopardise my position here - but I realise that it probably won't happen and I respect that. It doesn't hurt to take a step back and try to see things from the outside every now and then though. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Regarding anxiety, I suffer from it too... it can make life quite difficult at times. :/ On the dating front no real progress as the person I was talking with seems to have stopped messaging/is visiting less frequently, but I'll keep checking the site every now and then just to see who's potentially available I suppose though it's easy to just want to forget about it all. :p Edited July 20, 2014 by S.C.G
jayseven Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Hey, come now. It has helped. I actually have improved my social anxiety issues considerably thanks to you guys here. The other day, I managed to hold a conversation with someone with whom I had no previous connection. Granted, it was about Pokémon, but it still happened. I wouldn't have been able to do that three years ago. It's a marathon, not a sprint. As goafer said, there are external factors to all of our lives not present in the posts we make, and these factors can affect how we both read and post on these forums. I do not think you should be happy with that amount of progress in three years (or nine, if you count the full run-down of events), and I think that the non-positive wall of posts exists because other ways of trying to get through to you do not work. Ultimately many of us are faced with having to deal with huge personal shit. The sort of shit that we can't do alone. People need the help and support to make the steps towards change, however they can only made the decision to make the step themselves. It is impossible to do it alone, but only you alone can do it. My last bit of advice; don't make excuses. Don't be defensive. Look inwards and... don't believe all that stigma that therapy carries. I believe everyone should 'do' therapy.
Beast Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Whilst I can understand the frustration with Serebii, this thread is starting to make me a bit uncomfortable to the point where I need to say something. Whilst it is easy to say where he needs to change, there may be other factors that prevent him from doing so. Factors he may not have/may not want to mention on a public forum. Now I'm not saying everyone needs to be all touchy feely about it, but it seems to be heading towards everyone judging Serebii, which can't be nice for him (even less so since this is quite a personal topic to begin with), especially if there are other factors at play. I agree with this. I mean, I know that @Serebii suffers with anxiety and meeting new people must be a bit of a strain on him. I think he knows he needs to change but Rome was never built in a day and never was anything else that was a huge challenge. I suffer with nerves and it's horrible but I try my best everyday to conquer my nerves and just live stress-free. Granted that it isn't easy but I'm doing it and I'm pretty sure that Serebii is trying his hardest. However, what I would say to @Serebii would be to take some of the advice here and really think about hiring someone. It doesn't even have to be a team, it could just be you and someone else. Someone who is just as dedicated and passionate as Pokemon and running the best Pokemon site ever as you are. Even though having a social life does play a part, I'm more concerned for your health. It's awesome that you've turned a hobby into a job, I could only ever dream of doing that, but don't stress yourself out, starve yourself or make yourself tired! Look after yourself!!! Remember, all the greats need rest too otherwise how can they still be great when they're tired? I'm still nailing that girl. Also, if a lady friend of hers (who I met yesterday) didn't have a boyfriend I'd totally have the chance to have a threesome with her and and my friend-with-benefits. Shame it's all "if" and "would". Doesn't matter, had sex. Edit: Aaaaand I've just read the last few posts. Now mine seems a bit out of place Seriously, I just hate you! :p ...but that hate would have turned into pure jealousy if you had a threesome! haha.
Serebii Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) @Serebii I can see it from both sides, I've been writing VC Weekly for N-E for a while now - VCW 300 just uploaded - and while it might not be the same level of work that you take on - heck it's not even as if I put anywhere near the amount of hours into this site as others do - but I can certainly relate as when it's something you enjoy yes I can see how it's easy to put hours into writing etc if it's your hobby. The lines can tend to blur though... however what you've achieved, turning your hobby into your website is nothing short of amazing and nobody can take that away from you. : peace: However I understand that it's also your source of income and so I can see how the site has become your life as it's surely a lot to take on, it's a burden of responsibility even if it's still something that you enjoy, which I take it that this is still very much the case? That you do still enjoy what you do... if so then that's fine. Just be aware that we're only trying to help you here, not meaning to diminish the work that you do in any way but just to try and put some perspective on it all for you. I dare say that you do get time to go out and enjoy yourself as well, in all honesty you have more of a social life than me in that respect as I very rarely go out to bars etc though that's just from choice and personal experience, I'm well aware that I'm not a very good example at all. If it came down to it though and you did decide to delegate any responsibility then you'd find no shortage of people who'd be willing to help - I'd even offer to assist if the opportunity ever arose on the understanding that it wouldn't jeopardise my position here - but I realise that it probably won't happen and I respect that. It doesn't hurt to take a step back and try to see things from the outside every now and then though. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Regarding anxiety, I suffer from it too... it can make life quite difficult at times. :/ On the dating front no real progress as the person I was talking with seems to have stopped messaging/is visiting less frequently, but I'll keep checking the site every now and then just to see who's potentially available I suppose though it's easy to just want to forget about it all. :p The thing that people fail to realise is that, regarding my site, aside from the odd massive coverage every year or two, my schedule is wide open and lends itself to the possibility of a relationship (though I would need my laptop on me at all times, just in case a random piece of news comes). I can make my own hours, I can take a day when I need to (assuming it's not a game launch time). Yes, I have to take time away from the real world, but really the complete hermit aspect is only a week. I just limit myself wherever possible to be more efficient. Take last year, game came out October 12th, I locked myself away a couple of days prior and I worked hard, but I still made it to my friend's Halloween party, and any necessary commitments, I just wasn't able to go out every single time. That was an international release, the most stressful game coverage ever, and the biggest on the site, and yet I managed. It's not as bad as people here make it out to be. Besides, I've seen from other sites how delegation with others causes quality diminishment, delays etc. As I said, one of the other big sites didn't finish adding X & Y content until April, in fact there are still holes here and there. They delegated with a large team, and for the first two weeks of the game's launch had absolutely nothing. I'd much rather go with the person I trust to do a good job and fast, and that's me. I'm not wasting my life or anything as people seem to say, I'd say that's a statement of jealousy because I'm free from the monotony of the 9-5 and am doing something I love. Sometimes, I do need to delegate (and to be fair, I do. You really think I manually did all 718 level up listings myself? Good god, I'm not that crazy. Plus a friend is helping me with old sections), but everything new should be me. Will keep your offer in mind should I need to delegate, however. Thanks Edited July 21, 2014 by Serebii
Daft Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Have you ever attempted to try and bring one other person in on the site or are you just assuming the worst case scenario?
Sheikah Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 So do you actually earn money from Serebii.net? I thought you didn't place ads due to worry about Nintendo having a go?
Serebii Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Have you ever attempted to try and bring one other person in on the site or are you just assuming the worst case scenario? Did in my youth. They messed it up.
S.C.G Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I'm not wasting my life or anything as people seem to say, I'd say that's a statement of jealousy because I'm free from the monotony of the 9-5 and am doing something I love. Will keep your offer in mind should I need to delegate, however. Thanks I wouldn't call it a waste of life at all, quite the opposite as I think that what you do is fantastic, personally jealousy doesn't enter into it for me as I see it as something that you've worked hard for; would I give up my current job to do something in similar vein? Absolutely so long as it pays the bills too but yes getting to do something that you love and getting paid for it must be one of the greatest things in life, right now though I'm just happy to be writing for N-E on a voluntary basis because I still enjoy it a lot even after being here for as long as I've been employed part-time at my current job, the way I see it though is that my paid job allows me to keep writing here. : peace: Also thanks for the consideration. -------------------------------- Regarding the never-ending quest for love etc I feel like I'm at the 'Third Gym' in life that is to say that I have a couple of 'Badges' in that I've had one really successful relationship which lasted a few years but beyond that it's all just been a few conversations here and there. Naturally I interact with people at my place of work at least four days a week but that's work and I often feel that it's probably best to keep work/private life separate, though perhaps I'm wrong. Anyway I'm open to suggestions but right now the whole online dating thing doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast... not that I'm in a rush but I am 29 now and I can't help but feel that it would be nice to find someone like-minded, of the opposite sex and who I'm attracted to; preferably nearby as well. It always seems like I'm asking for the earth though for some reason.
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