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Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

Kurtle Squad

By Kurtle Squad
in General Chit Chat

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jayseven Newbie

jayseven

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Posted

I think it's wrong to think a girl who reacts weird to being asked out is therefore a rubbish candidate for a girlfriend. I once worked with a girl who was in a different department, and I asked her out after a couple of weeks of very brief interactions. She declined and was all weird with me. I, personally, was totally chill and felt great that I'd had the guts to ask her out. I did get to know her better and have a couple of kinda-dates, but I had her phone number and was a fb friend before I asked her out so it was different to some stranger you don't even know the name of.

 

I just think that if you have a lot of exposure with the girl (i.e. see her lots and know when!) then working up a rapport, getting her number or fb and chatting a bit first makes sense. A girl (or a guy) not expecting to be asked out may react wrongly, and later feel ashamed and keep their distance, which can come across as if they don't like the person who asked them out but really they're just not sure how to be... Ok so this is a lot of ifs, buts and maybes.

 

Think of it in a different light. You know nothing about her, yet you ask her out. She says yes! Turns out she's into kittens. Big time. She has 30. She also is a bit of a kleptomaniac and during the date she takes out a pair of scissors and lops off a lock of your hair. She starts spouting about how much the pakis and blacks are stealing all the jobs. Starts saying old people should be put down. You politely draw the evening to a close, say goodbye, and decline her lift home.

 

Now you have a forever of bus journeys where this crazy bitch sits next to you and loudly talks about being a xenophobic supporter of geriatricide. She follows you to work. She follows you home.

 

... Extreme, yes, but the point remains. You know nothing about a girl except you like how she looks? Make sure she ticks a few more boxes. In this instance time is on your side.

 

... is what I think.

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Ashley
Ashley

Seems I'm in a relationship. Let's hope I don't ruin it.

Cube
Cube

And now she's my girlfriend. Turns out we both wanted to be a few days ago but we both thought the other wouldn't be ready. It's all very exciting.   And I hope that goes well for you, @Bows

Shorty
Shorty

Get out get out get out

Ike Collaborator

Ike

Posted
Posted

Well I kinda agree with both sides which is making it a bit harder to decide what to do now, hah.

 

My train was late today (typical) so I missed the bus so I no idea if she even turned up today or not.

Eenuh Newbie

Eenuh

Posted
Posted

I agree with Jayseven, you should try to interact with her a bit more before you ask her out. Build up a bit of rapport, try to get to know her a bit better.

 

I mean there is no sure-fire way of what will work to get someone to agree on a date, but I think rushing into it might not be the best way to go. I know I would be a bit freaked out if someone who I barely know and who I have only met on the bus would suddenly ask me out. =P

MoogleViper Newbie

MoogleViper

Posted
Posted

I think you should never respond to her again, and just shyly stare at the back of her head for the remaining bus journeys, inevitably regretting not making a move.

 

 

It's what I'd do.

Jim Newbie

Jim

Posted
Posted

agreed with everyone, too soon. keep up the awkward chit chat, for all you know you're making her day just by talking to her. maybe try and use full sentences though ;)

Charlie Newbie

Charlie

Posted
Posted
Well I kinda agree with both sides which is making it a bit harder to decide what to do now, hah.

 

My train was late today (typical) so I missed the bus so I no idea if she even turned up today or not.

 

That's good. She'll be wondering where you are.... silently hoping that tomorrow you'll be on the bus.

 

Be late for work for a week or so in a row and then finally get the bus and see the relief on her face.

Ike Collaborator

Ike

Posted
Posted

Haha, not sure it would be relief on her face. :p

 

Appears I didn't scare her off (yet) as she was there this morning, so good sign? Didn't get a chance to talk to her though since my train was a little late again and it was oddly busy.

Ville Newbie

Ville

Posted
Posted

I think jay is onto something here. Better just chat casually first, maybe tell her you're not gonna ask her out just yet because you suspect she might be a xenophobic, racist nutter of a cat lady who stalks people, but also let her know that you'd be more than happy to be proven wrong. This way, she'll know that you're interested but also that you have some standards and would not date mentally insane people. I bet she'll be really impressed.

Beast Newbie

Beast

Posted
Posted
Haha, not sure it would be relief on her face. :p

 

Appears I didn't scare her off (yet) as she was there this morning, so good sign? Didn't get a chance to talk to her though since my train was a little late again and it was oddly busy.

 

Just chat to her first and find out if she has a boyfriend/girlfriend first. The last thing you want is that or she's a lesbian...

Rummy Newbie

Rummy

Posted
Posted

Of course, something you wouldn't encounter/find out if you cut to the chase and asked her out!

 

But I am outnumbered, so I bow out gracefully. I can't say who's approach is the best, but I hope @Ike's will be! :D

bryanee Newbie

bryanee

Posted
Posted

Its been I think 6 or 7 years since me and the gf broke up with no one in between. I kinda realised the desire to be with anyone hasn't come back since then. Hmm.

 

Anyone the same?

nightwolf Newbie

nightwolf

Posted
Posted
Its been I think 6 or 7 years since me and the gf broke up with no one in between. I kinda realised the desire to be with anyone hasn't come back since then. Hmm.

 

Anyone the same?

 

Sort of.

 

I've been single for a few years now, I've been 'with' a people since then, but not a relationship of any kind.

 

It didn't put me off relationships per say, more I was fed up of trying to make a relationship work with someone when my mind set just wasn't right.

 

I don't really see anything wrong with it, if you're happy to be single, then why not. I find the only time it is a problem - for me, is when people try to set me up or assume that every bloke I know or hang out with is sleeping with me or in a secret relationship with me.

 

Given that I work at Jagex and 90% of the people in the office are male, its tricky. :indeed:

drahkon Proficient

drahkon

Posted
Posted

Was drunk last night, went out with a mate, talked to two girls. One conversation lasted 15 minutes, nothing 'happened' since I realized she was losing interest.

The other girl was on her way out so I couldn't really start a conversation. :D

 

But still:

 

3ut6md.jpg

Beast Newbie

Beast

Posted
Posted
Its been I think 6 or 7 years since me and the gf broke up with no one in between. I kinda realised the desire to be with anyone hasn't come back since then. Hmm.

 

Anyone the same?

 

It's been almost five years for me with a girl in between that I just had fun with but other than that, no. I do kind of have a desire to be with someone but it wouldn't bother me so much if I wasn't. I could do without the ballache of being in a relationship when there's arguing and shit.

 

I have tried a little but I need to actually have a worthwhile conversation with a girl before anything happens. I'm a little bit old-fashioned when it comes to dating, my friends tell me not to be but I can't help it.

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