bad stuff thread.

[jayseven]

My step-mother has a lot of anxiety issues and me being there was really hard for her last time, impacted her work and life and all that gubbings. I got the wonderful "no visa, bitch!" email yesterday which is a bit galling. Been sofa-surfing for about 3 months, and will continue for at least another week.

 

Not going to Oz = time to refocus and get on the campaign trail. I can get deposit for a place from my dad and I'm going to guilt the fuck out of my uncle about my situation to see if he will help, otherwise it's a case of find a place, pay deposit, housing benefit allthewhile applying for ALL OF THE JOBS.

[Jon]

@jayseven

 

I really, really feel for you. Believe me. Everybody is always going on about "Family this" and "Family that" and "My parents are so supportive" or "No-one loves you like your parents".

 

Well whoop-de-fucking-doo, assholes - you're only saying that because YOUR parents are so awesome: other people aren't as lucky.

 

I've absolutely got your back on this one, Jay. Parents and family are shit.

 

 

I'm not ignorant so I don't force my beliefs down people's throats like the sort @Iun mentions above but for me personally, don't know where i'd be without my Family. Nothing overly emo or life changing has happened to me, just they've always been there to help when I've needed it. Sure they've got their faults like everyone but I always try to make sure, especially as i've got older, never to take that for granted.

 

I know it's not the same for everyone, sorry to hear about your situation @jayseven. Just my two cents.

[Iun]

@JonSt

 

I wish I could say the same - after mum died and my father remarried, it was as if my existence was a nuisance: I got one phone call a month at University (which completely dried up after the second semester of the second year), I was charged £200 a month rent during the Summer holidays (even though I didn't have a job) and since moving to China I have received an average of two phone calls a year - one on my birthday and usually one to confirm what is supposed to be happening at Christmas.

 

Don't get me wrong, they're happy to see me at Christmas and always treat me nicely when I'm there, but in ever feel like anything other than the cuckoo in the nest. Out of sight, out of mind seems to be the motto.

[martinist]

I might have gotten drunk and met a gay guy online, then I might have done some less than reputable things with said gay guy on skype....drunk martinist is bi-sexual martinst....i'm ashamed...so ashamed >_>

 

being drunk is fun, then realizing what u did when drunk isn't so fun....sad martinst

[ReZourceman]

@JonSt

 

I wish I could say the same - after mum died and my father remarried, it was as if my existence was a nuisance: I got one phone call a month at University (which completely dried up after the second semester of the second year), I was charged £200 a month rent during the Summer holidays (even though I didn't have a job) and since moving to China I have received an average of two phone calls a year - one on my birthday and usually one to confirm what is supposed to be happening at Christmas.

 

Don't get me wrong, they're happy to see me at Christmas and always treat me nicely when I'm there, but in ever feel like anything other than the cuckoo in the nest. Out of sight, out of mind seems to be the motto.

 

Pretty similar with me....my dad rarely calls. The rest of my remaining family (apart from my sister) could not give less of a shit about my existence.

 

My aunt, instead of congratulating me on passing my exams and getting a good job which I am doing well in, tells me how ashamed my mother would be of me if you saw my language, whilst forgetting my birthday, and posting all the time on facebook about how proud she is of my sister. She can die for all I care though, not interested in her at all.

 

I like my grandparents, but again, they don't give a toss about me.

 

Its fine though, Claire's family is nice.

[Fierce_LiNk]

@Iun and @ReZourceman, I understand these feels. When I left for uni, my Mum rang me all the time and I remember hearing my Dad cry on the phone when he was wishing me happy birthday.

 

I finished uni, moved back home for a bit and then got my teaching job. These days, they still call, but we're not as close as we were when I was younger. Neither are me and my brothers. I partly blame myself for moving away, because I purposefully wanted to see if I could make it by myself, and because all of a sudden Newport felt too small and I wanted more.

 

In a way, I feel like the reason they don't ring up and keep checking on me is a sign that they know that I've made it and am ok. Uni was a struggle at times financially (even worse now), but now I'm earning, life is just that bit easier. When I go home, they're still happy to see me and are sad when I leave.

 

I had a conversation with my friends at a pub the other night and I admitted that, in a way, I feel like I have no family at the moment. There's my Mum, my Dad and my 2 brothers who I am associate myself with, but we're not really close like Ine's family. Like I said earlier, I blame myself because this was always going to happen when moving away from home, but I had little choice as there were no jobs there. So, it's either live at home and suffocate due to the lack of opportunities, lack of work, no life, but have family. Or, move away and make it on your own, start your own life, maybe have a family one day. I chose that second option.

[nightwolf]

Its very sad to hear about the way your families seem to ignore you both @Fierce_LiNk and @Iun. I completely understand your need to move away, particularly @Fierce_LiNk. I was never going to find a job I enjoyed in Cheshire.

 

As it is, I don't particularly care about my family, I have a lot of relatives and most aren't very pleasant, stories for another time perhaps! However, I couldn't ever not speak to my mum and dad, its odd if I go a week without speaking to them and it'll be hard to not be able to visit them much when they move to France (they've finally put an offer in on a house).

 

So with my folks in France and my sister in Malta, Christmas is going to be..weird. Unfortunately, I don't wish to start my own family, ever, so I hope I don't become distance with my folks.

 

Now I need to go call my mum, as I now have this odd paranoia about not speaking to her. Shit.

[Iun]

 

 

My aunt, instead of congratulating me on passing my exams and getting a good job which I am doing well in, tells me how ashamed my mother would be of me if you saw my language, whilst forgetting my birthday, and posting all the time on facebook about how proud she is of my sister. She can die for all I care though, not interested in her at all.

 

 

Yeah I get that. For me I just can't talk to dad about mum, doesn't help that they divorced before she died. And also...well what the hell, man? You begged me to stay with you when you guys divorced and then two years later were happy to cut me out of your life almost completely! That's such BULLSHIT.

 

@ReZourceman You mention that Claire's family is nice, do you have a good relationship with them?

[MoogleViper]

A question to everybody who's saying their family don't call much: How often do you call them?

 

It's all well and good saying they never call, but if those few phonecalls are all made by them, then that's half the phone calls that there should be. Additionally, if you never call, then they're going to start calling less.

 

If you do/did call then fair enough, ignore this post; but if not, then you might want to look at yourself before you start blaming your family.

[gaggle64]

I might have gotten drunk and met a gay guy online, then I might have done some less than reputable things with said gay guy on skype....drunk martinist is bi-sexual martinst....i'm ashamed...so ashamed >_>

 

being drunk is fun, then realizing what u did when drunk isn't so fun....sad martinst

 

Don't worry mahtens we'll never judge you for what you do or who you are, drunk or sober. Either way you are mahtens and that's why I & everyone else loves you.

 

Besides, you are a hot piece of ass. Denying that gay guy would probably be discriminatory.

[Emma]

A question to everybody who's saying their family don't call much: How often do you call them?

 

It's all well and good saying they never call, but if those few phonecalls are all made by them, then that's half the phone calls that there should be. Additionally, if you never call, then they're going to start calling less.

 

If you do/did call then fair enough, ignore this post; but if not, then you might want to look at yourself before you start blaming your family.

 

Agree completely.

 

I'm not that close to my family. My Dad was a an arse to me when I was a teenager and 90% of my family are BNP supporting, Daily Mail reading racists. I feel like I can talk to Dan's family much more easily than my own.

[Fierce_LiNk]

A question to everybody who's saying their family don't call much: How often do you call them?

 

It's all well and good saying they never call, but if those few phonecalls are all made by them, then that's half the phone calls that there should be. Additionally, if you never call, then they're going to start calling less.

 

If you do/did call then fair enough, ignore this post; but if not, then you might want to look at yourself before you start blaming your family.

 

Just to point out, I'm not blaming my family for anything, as all I mentioned was that I moved away and the reason they don't ring to "check up" much is because they know I'm alright. Which, in a way, is a nice feeling. I'm not a burden or a worry to them.

 

As for calling, I ring up my house phone or get a phone call from them every few weeks, usually on the Saturday. Normally I speak to my Mum, I've never really been close to my Dad and he can be very, very difficult to talk to and communicate with. My brothers both work 7 days a week after 5pm, so they're usually out doing something, so I don't speak to them as much as my Mum. I don't communicate with aunties and uncles because there are a lot of complicated issues and lots of in-fighting with our family, so it's quite often they go through phases of not speaking to each other for months, even though they all live opposite each other.

[Daft]

Imma put this here so I can brace myself for the worst. The Creative Director has scheduled a 'quick chat' with me tomorrow. Now this could go two ways; I get offered a permanent position - awesome but I'd wouldn't be earning my exorbitant pay anymore - OR they tell me to GTFO.

 

There's the third option, where he points out that I'm almost half an hour late to work every day. I really hope this isn't it. I could turn up late to the end of the world so nothing is going to get me into work any earlier.

[EEVILMURRAY]

There's the third option, where he points out that I'm almost half an hour late to work every day. I really hope this isn't it. I could turn up late to the end of the world so nothing is going to get me into work any earlier.

Inspiring motivation there.

 

What causes your lack of punctuality?

[Charlie]

 

I wish I could say the same - after mum died and my father remarried, it was as if my existence was a nuisance: I got one phone call a month at University (which completely dried up after the second semester of the second year), I was charged £200 a month rent during the Summer holidays (even though I didn't have a job) and since moving to China I have received an average of two phone calls a year - one on my birthday and usually one to confirm what is supposed to be happening at Christmas.

 

Don't get me wrong, they're happy to see me at Christmas and always treat me nicely when I'm there, but in ever feel like anything other than the cuckoo in the nest. Out of sight, out of mind seems to be the motto.

 

Devils advocate here. Why don't you call them more often? Communication works both ways.

[Daft]

Inspiring motivation there.

 

What causes your lack of punctuality?

 

Getting out of the house always takes longer than I plan (and I wasn't enough leaving early enough in the first place). The logical solution would be to leave earlier but I always get my work done even during recent periods where I have been overloaded with work. I've been double booked for the past two days - literally meant to be on two jobs at once.

 

There's more chance me forcing myself to get into work on time would put me in a bad mood or make me stressed enough to effect my work. This way I get to work in my own time and I'm ready to hit the ground running.

 

I'm usually a lot more punctual when meeting friends.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Awesome. If that's what your boss does want to talk to you about let us know his reaction when you tell him that.

[Daft]

Will do, I'm not one to sugar-coat. He wouldn't be the first boss who tried to get me to come in on time. Many have tried, none have succeeded.

 

I'm just not a morning person and I kind of hate going to bed. I do like sleeping, though.

[Charlie]

Will do, I'm not one to sugar-coat. He wouldn't be the first boss who tried to get me to come in on time. Many have tried, none have succeeded.

 

I'm just not a morning person and I kind of hate going to bed. I do like sleeping, though.

 

How does your pay work? If he's paying you to be there for X hours then if you don't turn up on time then he's right to be talking to you about it. Also think for future jobs if you need a reference.

 

Obviously if you just get paid per project or another rate that is different.

[Daft]

I get paid per day.

 

I'm quite happy to let life happen, there are much more important things to get stressed about than work. My nonchalance is helped by the fact that if people know one thing, it's that I get the job done. If I was crap at my job, I'd probably be worried.

[MoogleViper]

A question to everybody who's saying their family don't call much: How often do you call them?

 

It's all well and good saying they never call, but if those few phonecalls are all made by them, then that's half the phone calls that there should be. Additionally, if you never call, then they're going to start calling less.

 

If you do/did call then fair enough, ignore this post; but if not, then you might want to look at yourself before you start blaming your family.

 

Devils advocate here. Why don't you call them more often? Communication works both ways.

 

Keep up, Charlie.

[jayseven]

Sooo I re-friended my ex-ex, and my ex saw it and called me up and said it was a slap in the face, and now I have nowhere to live after tomorrow night because Mutual Friend is siding with ex.

 

I've ballsed up again. This is ridiculous.

 

Got a mate who could have me stay for a weekend.

 

I'm not good at this life thing.

[nightwolf]

I get paid per day.

 

I'm quite happy to let life happen, there are much more important things to get stressed about than work. My nonchalance is helped by the fact that if people know one thing, it's that I get the job done. If I was crap at my job, I'd probably be worried.

 

That's a nice attitude to have.

 

But it won't be an attitude that your management will have, its a shame, but morning person or not, if you are paid to be there at a certain time (if not, ignore me) then you should be, especially if you've signed a contract stating so!

[Ellmeister]

And your reasoning for not being able to get in on time is quite frankly pathetic.

[Iun]

Devils advocate here. Why don't you call them more often? Communication works both ways.

 

I call every fortnight - always goes to BT answer or whatever it is, and email once a week, I get a reply on average once every six weeks. And so far this month I sent my dad five unanswered text messages.