Dyson Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 However, if she's not willing to commit and she's just happy with casual sex...that says something about her character that needs to be considered. Whilst this was a concern for me, having talked about it a couple of weeks ago I can say this isn't the case. It's not that she's only in it for the physical side of things and casual sex (it's not in her character - I was her first) but more that she's afraid it'll go wrong and ruin what we have already. She has said before that she likes how ambiguous the whole thing is though which I think was a poor choice of phrase more than anything. It's hard to break away from those overpowering feelings you're having, but try and look objectively for a moment. It really is tough. When we're together it's great, and it feels like there's no problem. It's just when I sit back and think about it without all the positivity and perks staring me in the face I realise it frustrates me as much as it does. I've been there, and with hindsight, I wish I had not wasted so much time. You want to give them the world, but they want the twat their mate lives with who never shaves, bathes or cuts his toenails. It hurts.I am starting more and more to think this could eventually be the case here, and it does hurt. She's bisexual and has had a thing for her female best friend for years that she hasn't been able to fully get over, though it has gotten a lot better. The issue mostly comes from the fact that she's not been with a woman before and she says the curiosity and 'what-if' factor will always be there. Which I can understand, though that doesn't make it any less frustrating. She also suffers from depression which skews her outlook on things at times, and having lived with 2 people who suffer with depression I know it can really mess with your decision making process. And despite all this I'm still fighting to make something work with us. And she still wants to see me, and trusts me enough to have a physical relationship with me, and I can't help but feel that she wants to make it work too.. but maybe I'm just being naive? Women are bloody enigmas, I swear.
Iun Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I feel you, man, I feel you. I travelled halfway across the world to be with a girl I was in love with. When I got there, I realised she was just getting off with the attention, the emotions, the love, the self-sacrifice... It just didn't appeal to her as much as having this guy who was crazy about, but at arms length. Days into my stay, I found that there were four or five other guys in the same position. And she was LOVING it.
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 The issue mostly comes from the fact that she's not been with a woman before and she says the curiosity and 'what-if' factor will always be there. Which I can understand, though that doesn't make it any less frustrating. Tell her to go get some lady love and see how it goes.
Wesley Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 So the HP Touchpad that I picked up from the Amazon Marketplace... Got my email on the 24th saying it had been dispatched, money had been taken. Then this morning I get an email saying I had been given a refund because it was out of stock. What the fuck? There was only one item the seller was selling and they said it had been delivered. Cunts. After getting this I quit my HP Touchpad search so am left without one. Double cunts.
Eenuh Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Urgh, still not heard back from the school I did an interview at in June. They said they'd let me know something in August, but I still haven't heard anything. Sent an email again and no reply. =( Now everyone around me is bothering me to chase up the school and keep asking them about it. But I don't want to. I'm not gonna call because I hate calling and I wouldn't know who to contact either. And at the moment I don't even want that job any more as a friend did her placement there and said it wasn't a great school. So now I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do job-wise. Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Iun Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Wow thats fucked up. Write a book Iun. I am, just not about this. It's a lengthy treatise on the importance of needle widths in early-model Victrolas.
jayseven Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Nightwolf; OR the landlord just ain't really that fussed about references :P
nightwolf Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Nightwolf; OR the landlord just ain't really that fussed about references :P Probably, but it's really was bloody annoying, to say sure you can have me as a reference and not pick up the phone was slightly irritating. It's sorted now anyway, so bugger off.
Charlie Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I'm not gonna call because I hate calling and I wouldn't know who to contact either. Pick up the phone first thing tomorrow morning and just ask them. I cant stand it when people say they don't like using the phone or calling people they don't know. Its a vital skill you need in a hell of a lot of jobs and you need to be able to have the confidence to do it. I personally wouldnt want someone working for me if they didn't want to talk to people on the phone. Emails and texts work ok, but with a phone call you're guaranteed some sort of instant reply. All you need to say to whoever picks up is "Hi, my name is Eenuh, I applied for a job in June and was told I would hear back by the end of August but I havnt heard anything yet. Can you tell me any more about this please?". If they say they cant help they'll put you through to someone who can or take your details and pass them onto someone who can. Easy!
Ramar Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Pick up the phone first thing tomorrow morning and just ask them. I cant stand it when people say they don't like using the phone or calling people they don't know. Its a vital skill you need in a hell of a lot of jobs and you need to be able to have the confidence to do it. I personally wouldnt want someone working for me if they didn't want to talk to people on the phone. Emails and texts work ok, but with a phone call you're guaranteed some sort of instant reply. All you need to say to whoever picks up is "Hi, my name is Eenuh, I applied for a job in June and was told I would hear back by the end of August but I havnt heard anything yet. Can you tell me any more about this please?". If they say they cant help they'll put you through to someone who can or take your details and pass them onto someone who can. Easy! Don't go look in the job thread...
Charlie Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Don't go look in the job thread... I read that before Eenuh's post and actually thought I was still in that thread
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Whilst this was a concern for me, having talked about it a couple of weeks ago I can say this isn't the case. It's not that she's only in it for the physical side of things and casual sex (it's not in her character - I was her first) but more that she's afraid it'll go wrong and ruin what we have already. She has said before that she likes how ambiguous the whole thing is though which I think was a poor choice of phrase more than anything. It really is tough. When we're together it's great, and it feels like there's no problem. It's just when I sit back and think about it without all the positivity and perks staring me in the face I realise it frustrates me as much as it does. I am starting more and more to think this could eventually be the case here, and it does hurt. She's bisexual and has had a thing for her female best friend for years that she hasn't been able to fully get over, though it has gotten a lot better. The issue mostly comes from the fact that she's not been with a woman before and she says the curiosity and 'what-if' factor will always be there. Which I can understand, though that doesn't make it any less frustrating. She also suffers from depression which skews her outlook on things at times, and having lived with 2 people who suffer with depression I know it can really mess with your decision making process. And despite all this I'm still fighting to make something work with us. And she still wants to see me, and trusts me enough to have a physical relationship with me, and I can't help but feel that she wants to make it work too.. but maybe I'm just being naive? Women are bloody enigmas, I swear. My hat's off to you. It's quite a situation life has thrown at you.
Eenuh Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Pick up the phone first thing tomorrow morning and just ask them. I cant stand it when people say they don't like using the phone or calling people they don't know. Its a vital skill you need in a hell of a lot of jobs and you need to be able to have the confidence to do it. I personally wouldnt want someone working for me if they didn't want to talk to people on the phone. Emails and texts work ok, but with a phone call you're guaranteed some sort of instant reply. All you need to say to whoever picks up is "Hi, my name is Eenuh, I applied for a job in June and was told I would hear back by the end of August but I havnt heard anything yet. Can you tell me any more about this please?". If they say they cant help they'll put you through to someone who can or take your details and pass them onto someone who can. Easy! I'm a shy person, phones freak me out for some reason. It's not easy for me. I just prefer face to face talks, can't deal well with phones. My job as a teacher wouldn't really require it either. I'm fine in front of a class, just don't give me a phone. I also don't want to come across as pushy with this job. People have told me it can take up to October for schools to figure out who the new teachers will be, so maybe they just haven't decided yet. The headmaster wasn't even sure yet if there were going to be any hours, and how many if there was going to be a job opening... Anyway I guess I'm just gonna wait. It's not exactly a job I really really want, more something to do to earn a bit of money so I can move away.
Goafer Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I'm a shy person, phones freak me out for some reason. It's not easy for me. I just prefer face to face talks, can't deal well with phones. My job as a teacher wouldn't really require it either. I'm fine in front of a class, just don't give me a phone. I feel your pain. I hate phones too. Not entirely sure why. I hate the thought of having to make a call, but it's usually ok when I'm actually doing it.
Eenuh Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I feel your pain. I hate phones too. Not entirely sure why. I hate the thought of having to make a call, but it's usually ok when I'm actually doing it. It's been so bad for me that I write down all the things I have to say, because I get so confused/stressed when I'm actually calling that I forget things haha. *is a failure*
nightwolf Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Honestly, ringing will be best, it'll show your interested and it's landed my a job once before, showing initiative and all that, plus you'll then know what's going on. I'm much the same with phones and it's been a nightmare with having to ring so many people for places to rent, my own personal torture!
Raining_again Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) I was exactly the same as you Ine (possibly still am to some extent) but now I work in a call centre. That's one way to get rid o your fears of telephonage :p Apparently I now talk with a "call centre voice" whatever that is... But yeah, just keep at it and keep calm... they actually won't laugh at you or whatever notion you have in your head that's preventing you from calling! Honest! Chances are when you call someone they are more likely to be thinking what's for dinner than how nervous you are!! by the way the list thing is less uncommon than you think... i often do it when its an important call Edited August 30, 2011 by Raining_again
Goafer Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 It's been so bad for me that I write down all the things I have to say, because I get so confused/stressed when I'm actually calling that I forget things haha. *is a failure* I do that too. I sort of landed the responsibility of looking after the printers at work, which meant ringing our maintenance company every time something went wrong. One of our printers broke 7 or 8 times within a month or two and the repair guys couldn't figure out what was wrong, so it kept breaking. I had to ring every time to ask for the guys to come out again. Ended up just laughing when I rang since they pretty much knew it was me every time. I soon got used to calling! The first time was a nightmare though. I must have spent half hour writing down all the information I could possibly need! Still managed to forget to write down our postcode so they could identify us. Panic ensued when they asked for it!
jayseven Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Gotta agree with @Raining_again on this - I used to utterly hate using the phone for any reason, partly due to my hearing issues, but then I got a job in telemarketing and had a baptism of fire, and after a stressful few calls I got over it and got my head in the zone. There's no reason to be afraid or nervous, and never making calls will never help you see it.
EddieColeslaw Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I think N-Europe has spoiled me. 99% of you/us are usually well-reasoning and intelligent individuals. Even the younger members are mature and seem to have been raised well. Well not on another forum I frequent. Its unbelievable the stupid shit I read on there sometimes. Serious lack of general common sense. What's keeping you from quitting? It's like crappy friends - don't stick with things (/people, haha) that upset you. Life is too short for that! -- I dunno. We feel almost perfect for each other in all other areas and I want us to settle down and work on building a relationship (although we feel like we have already) but she doesn't seem ready to take that step. I just can't wait around forever. I agree with whoever suggested an ultimatum. What if there's a girl out there who's EXACTLY like London/Dublin girl/Diageo but without the commitment issues? That's just a very detached/uninformed 2c though :s -- I have no internets again! Technician coming on Saturday to do who knows what. Meanwhile I am in a uni library. Why are there no public libraries nearby?
Dyson Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I agree with whoever suggested an ultimatum. What if there's a girl out there who's EXACTLY like London/Dublin girl/Diageo but without the commitment issues? That's just a very detached/uninformed 2c though :s Yeah, it's heading that way. Only.. I like where we're at but want us to work more permanently.. I don't want it all to fall to pieces because I'm being hasty. Thanks for your advice, y'all. I've taken it on board and am trying to work out what to do with myself - she might be coming down from London tonight so it could be the night.. again..
Goafer Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I sprained my ankle at work. Quite proud of how I did it though. Was carrying an expensive glass table from a van into the building. Just picked up one of the leg section (itself a massive, heavy piece of glass) and turned to walk back, stood sort of on a kerb, pushing my foot inwards meaning I ended up on the outside of my foot. Dropped off the kerb, putting quite a lot of weight on the side of my foot spraining my ankle. Fell forward, but managed to drop the glass softly enough not to smash it. Didn't even chip it on the concrete. Pro. But yeah, my ankle is fucked. I have a second ankle on top of my foot as well. It looks odd. Doctor said it will take a couple of weeks to heal.
Happenstance Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I hear if you twist it back the other way it fixes everything, give that a try
ReZourceman Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 What's keeping you from quitting? It's like crappy friends - don't stick with things (/people, haha) that upset you. Life is too short for that! I don't post a whole lot on there, but basically there is no alternative. Well there is like one alternative but its probably even worse.
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