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Utterly Terrible Film/Game Covers


Guy

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I was reasonably happy last night, browsing through the digital storefront of Play.com checking out some upcoming Blu-rays with a wide banana grin-like on my face and maybe a half boner, because that's how I roll.

 

I was starting to think "Hey, this is great. This reasonable happiness may never end."

 

I was wrong.

 

15818977x.jpg

 

What the FUCK is this?

 

Gremlins is ONCE AGAIN being re-issued for the holidays sporting something I thought was impossible; a worse cover than before. After seeing this, I can no longer accomplish even the most flimsy erection. You Warner Bros Bastards.

 

Now, I ask you all... which of your cherished materials have utterly terrible insert art?

 

Another contender is the Kick-Ass Blu-ray steelbook, which I will not foul your eyes with here. Two horrors in one post is... it's just too much.

Edited by Guy
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Not even remotely cherished (or even owned), but this is the worst non seasonal box art I've seen:

 

Bangkok%20Dangerous.jpg

 

His right hand looks like it was holding a gun, but the guns been removed for political correctness or whatever. His left arm isn't even possible. Great photoshopping skills there. It sickens me that someone got payed for that.

 

Although kudos to them for managing to crop off Nicolas Cage's receding hairline.

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That's a good shout. I have Gremlins on DVD with a cover like this:

 

displaymedia.php?id=7693&sizew=500&cat=3&type=1&page=0

 

which looks a lot nicer to me. If its not that, its something similar to it.

 

The one that springs to mind is also my favourite ever boxset. The Alien Quadrilogy. In terms of content, it's brilliant for the fans. But, however, they really fucked up with the actual boxset cover. Does not give you the "vibe" or feel of the series at all. Looks horrible.

 

518i9eaRhTL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

 

Compare that with the cover for the original dvd:

 

Alien-front.jpg

 

Look at that font. So much better, so cleaner, it's the font that's actually used in the title screen for the film. And that image itself is clean and just fits in with the actual film a lot better.

 

The boxset also has this wierd...texture to it. Where certain parts of the cover are above the surface, to give a "ribbed/dotted condom feel", which I don't know why they ever intended to do that.

 

The interface for the DVD menus is so beautiful, though.

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Matrix Revolutions if anyone is wondering (as the image doesn't show).

 

how_i_met_your_mother_season_three__dvd.jpg

 

So uninspired and they've near enough pushed the awesome Cobie Smulders off the box!

 

And the dots remind me of those relationship tracking things. So all the guys have slept together, Marshall has slept with Lily and Robin has only slept with Barney and a sandcastle?

Edited by Ashley
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What's wrong with the Orange Box?
It's just a totally messy, uninspiring blend of three images, none of which were drawn for the cover, and some text. I could've made better myself. That mass of text looks like a bad magazine cover.

 

I've seen some awesome minimalistic fan designs for the game which would've been much better, ie

 

e6u1jd.png

 

or

 

coverorangebox.jpg

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Resistance 2

20080830094011Ul2R.jpg

It's just unoriginal, there's no focal point, and the content is just sort of uninspired and insignificant.

 

It's a great game, but it just stole a crap idea from the typical black/white, good/evil shit that was knocking around. Like the Fable 2 thing and others I can't remember posting about at the time.

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I'm going to go ahead and add book covers to this thread, because I tend to moan about them a lot more. In particular, Discworld books are awful for this. Originally, all the covers were done by Josh Kirby, who has a very particular art style. While I think it fits with the mood of the first few books in the series, I personally dislike the cartoonish frenzied feel, and think it positively grates with later books. Here's a random example:

 

men-at-arms-2.jpg

 

For later books, Paul Kidby has been doing the artwork, which I like much more (especially the way he satirises famous paintings):

 

night-watch-1.jpg

 

Even more recently, however, early Discworld books are being republished with Harry Potter-esque "adult" covers, presumably because the publishers agree with me about the Kirby artwork. These are actually pretty cool and minimalist, but there's a major problem with one of them (I can only find the audio version but it's identical to the book):

 

9780552153263.jpg

 

It gives away the fucking weapon in a murder(ish) mystery! What the hell?

 

 

And while we're on the subject of Harry Potter, the children's cover for the last book is dire:

 

harry_potter_and_the_deathly_hallows.jpg

 

Harry looks like some kind of goat that tried to take up body boarding.

 

And I'll try and think of some bad film/game covers. I agree with the general consensus about Ico, and am personally far more attracted to arty or non-standard covers, but am not sure what's actually commercial. And while the Orange Box has a rubbish cover, the standalone Portal one is great (mine has a little less crap around the edges I think):

 

portal.jpg

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I never liked the box arts for any of the Matrix movies. Why is the logo blue on the first film? It makes no sense. Which is why I'm happy I have a box set where the overall theme is the falling, green code.

 

Also, I generally dislike the original British children's covers for Harry Potter. I just don't like the art style. I much prefer the Danish versions:

 

Goblet of Fire

 

GOF.GIF

 

Half-Blood Prince

 

Dinamarca-Denmark.jpg

 

Deathly Hallows

 

normal_books_covers_denmark_dh_001.jpg

 

The covers don't always reflect the content of the books equally well, but I love the art style, and the atmosphere is great.

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