Fierce_LiNk Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Well, I'm in a bit of a funny mood tonight, pretty much have been all day. Something somebody said at work kinda put me in a foul mood, and its made me feel a bit meeeh all day. Alright here's the deal. I'm not the most masculine of guys. Well, maybe I am, but in a different way. My best friends have normally been girls, I get on a lot better with them and I enjoy their company on the whole a lot more than with other guys. Another thing, I like being in touch with my emotions. With music, one of my greatest loves, I like being able to feel something - a connection. There have been so many songs that have brought tears to my eyes, maybe because they've triggered something, or because of a specific moment that has been remembered in my mind because of this. I need to feel something, in almost everything I do (even bad feelings) because if I don't, I struggle to take things in. With films, I look for those special moments, where the characters don't say anything, but express themselves through their body language. I look for moments where the music is used to enhance a particular scene, to make it powerful. I'm normally a cheery person, and I'll try and keep upbeat, because I have to. I've been to a few horrible places mentally in my life, and I don't want to go back there, so me keeping upbeat is my defensive mechanism, to stop myself falling back into that hole I found myself in over a year ago. At the moment, I'm doing pretty ok. However, there is a friend at work who is seriously fucking me off. She asked me a few days ago if I was gay, and I said no, what made you think that? "Oh, the way you acted. Other people think it too." ...In a Total Recall moment, I almost wanted to shout out WHAT THE FAAAACK DID I DO WRAAANG? She isn't the first to have asked me that, I've had so many, many people ask me, or even just assume that I'm gay, after meeting me for maybe two minutes or something. I've asked why they think this, and its usually down to me being 'odd' with some of the things I say, or how I'm usually smiling or happy about nothing. I'm quite a silly or daft person, that's just who I am. If you can't have a laugh whilst living, then when can you laugh? Now, at this point, I'm going to clarify that I don't see anything wrong with a person being homosexual. But, I'm fed up of people assuming I'm something that I'm not. If it was once or twice, I would laugh it off, but its all the fucking time. At one point last year, I had a guy in tears, as he was convinced that I liked him and wanted me to go out with him...I spoke to him just like I spoke to everybody else. Infact, I hardly said two words to him! It just seriously fucks me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyson Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Play Geometry Wars. Also I noticed Eenuh is the FIRST person viewing your new topic... Just sayin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 Play Geometry Wars. Also I noticed Eenuh is the FIRST person viewing your new topic... Just sayin'. Shut your face. I ain't fooling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I viewed it but I am invisible! Then I went and did other things and came back here. Because thats how much I love Flinky. So much so I come back! (maybe these people found out about my love for you and presumed...) Umm I get judged a lot based purely upon my sibling. Which is why im getting my name changed. I know what its like Flinky. But as far as suggestions (for lack of a better word) I dunno what to say. One of those things I suppose, you have to deal with it as best you can. Bright side? You leave work in less than two months yes? The important thing is you know what is true. And to run with chairdriver's approach to the thread; people assume I care. Particularly the 16 year old girls at work who have 16 year old girl's 'problems'. "Oh did you hear Harry was caught kissing Jenny?" "OHMAISGODS really?" "Yeah Nat saw them when she was looking for some condoms" "Who was she having sex with?!" "Naw noone, you've seen her face, everyone blew them up and threw them round"...that may have been more of a rant about my colleagues...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 People think I'm straight all the time. *shrugs shoulders* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aimless Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Sometimes I worry you're actually me leading a more interesting life, Flink. I've had a few people ask if I was gay, but it doesn't really faze me. Oh, I'm not, in case anyone was wondering. Anyway, as I pointed out to the first person that asked me: "If I was gay I would imagine I'd have some form of dress sense." I just take it as a compliment, to be honest. I don't aspire to be homosexual or anything, but when people accuse me of being so I like to interpret it as, "You're not a typical beer-swilling Loaded reader, are you?" Which is fine by me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 iknow how you feel flink. I think the majority of people I know have either asked or implied that I am gay at one point (my mum even asked me a while back which was awkward). Obviously i dont have an issue with people being gay and I have/had had gay friends, but it's frustating when people assume it about you simply because you don't sleep around and hit on every girl you see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 next time someone doubts the man power of The Flink just ask them if they left enough room for your fist, because you're going to ram it in to their stomach and break their goddamn spppvvine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Well we all know you are totally not gay! Plus, leave them to think you are and in the meantime you can steal all the girls! =P But really, I don't know what to tell you. I've never been in that situation (unless people think I'm gay and have just never asked me/told me or something). I don't think there's much you can do about it really, other than say again and again you aren't gay. Or just not respond at all and ignore the comments. *really doesn't know* >.<; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rokhed00 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 You shouldn't worry about what other people think. It's a very destructive thing and can really end up hurting you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolness Bears Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I've been accused of being Gay many times and been asked it a number of times mainly probably because I'm normally happy and also because I'm shy and quiet in nature and very reserved so the people don't know much about me and so assume I'm gay. When again I'm not at all. People use the meaning of the word a lot of the time. When I'm asked I usually just say yes i am a huge lover of men. they are a taken ack by this comment and don't expect people to say it at all. They try and opress you with their open straightness. It doesn't faze me what they think at all and some know I'm kidding and if they don't then they need a new sarcasm detector. :p Also een called a Lesbian once that was a new one! I have no issues with people being Gay it's jus I am not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaijin von Snikbah Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Some people put the world into a little box and refuse to explain anything by looking outside of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twozzok Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I've been asked if I'm gay quite a bit, even earned the nickname of gay++. I think it was because I had a neon pink type colour in my hair and wore black and pink shoes. I liked that nickname for some reason, despite being as straight as they come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conzer16 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Best advice I can offer is what my late father said to me before he died... He said - "Never let anyone tell you what you aren't, what you can't be or what you can't do and never let anyone break your spirit for that is what makes you you." Will never forget those words for as long as I live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somme Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I worked at Pop Stars in Soho on Friday night and people thought I was straight. Didn't bother me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun2k Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 You shouldn't worry about what other people think. It's a very destructive thing and can really end up hurting you. Rokhed's got the right idea. Besides, whether you're "manly" or not, you're forgetting just how distorted the general public's view of 'manliness' actually is. So many guys adopt the trademark character that walks, talks and dresses in 'male' mode only...sad thing is they're the ones with the complex. Appreciate the way you are and do what makes you happy - life's better when you don't care what people think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaggle64 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 As Aimless said, I'd probably take it as a compliment - gay men are often associated with being expressive and sensitive people who take good care with their appearance. Added the fact you are able to easily connect with women, I think it's best to assume it's this side of you they are looking at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris the great Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 sounds a similar problem to me flinky. alot of people assume im gay, which is odd. ok, im not often seen getting down with the layyyydeezzzz, as a nuts reader may or may not do. its not that im overly femanine, i understand women faiirly well, and i also love cute things such as babies and kittens, but im not one to be overly emotional, certainly not one to cry. i also dont worry about firends relationships, if a couple break up, im not going to cry about it, its thier lives. im also not very manly, im not into football, i dont really do much sport and i dont usualy like to be in conversations that feature the lines "she'd get it till she bled". i think i sit some were on the parifory, sensative without showing it, affectionate and caring, but also carefree (more of a mans trait) and very scientific (again, generaly a mans thing). Im also not afraid to stand up for myself, and cant think of a better way to spend an afternoon then swinging swords at things (mellons are best). I like violent films, not reallt a romatic comedy type, yet im also a romantic at heart. in short, im me. i might not be seen as a "man" but im certainly not "camp". im some where inbetween. lots of people have thought i was gay over the past 5 years, they seem to expain it as either me "not being like most men" "not into the typical guy things" "just having that air to me" or my favorite, "just a bit odd." right, so all gays are odd? but then, i dont worry to much, i did gender in psychology and flinky, you got nowt to worry about. gender isnt a set thing, it like most things, isnt black and white. there are varying degress your sex may be male, but that dosnt mean your mind is totaly male with no female to it, same goes for women. it seems like society forces alot of our ideals and identity on us, but our genetics dont always agree. i can only speak for myself in this reguard, but growing up, i didnt really fit in with outher guys that much, i was usualy part of smaller, more intimate groups, and i feel that because of that, my gender identity was a bit more free to develop, unhindered by social constraints. just be who you are, if people think your gay, so what? people think big brother is good television, they arnt necicarily right. people can think what ever the hell they want about you, as long as the people who matter to you think the right things about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun2k Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 growing up, i didnt really fit in with outher guys that much, i was usualy part of smaller, more intimate groups, and i feel that because of that, my gender identity was a bit more free to develop, unhindered by social constraints. very true - good point well made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M-PG71C Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Tell them to spell the first three letters of assumption, they'll pick up quickly enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Probably one of the greatest proverbs ever: Those who matter don't judge, and those who judge don't matter. I'm heterosexual, and I can really relate to your personality (and that of Chris the great). I've never been the stereotypical male, but I'm not overly feminine, either. Like you guys, I'm floating around in the middle, having so-called feminine traits (in touch with my emotions, romantic, empathic, not much interested in sports, intuitive thinking etc.), but also so-called masculine traits (loving action films, martial arts and swords, thinking logically and scientifically etc.). So it all comes down to this: Today, it's simply impossible to sort people by means of hopelessly narrow and prejudiced definitions of so-called masculine and feminine behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris the great Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 what seems wierd to me is that women having masculine qualities, such as intrest in sport, foundness of over drinking, being up for one night stands are now being seen as a positive thing, yet males possesing female qualities, are unsualy more harshly treated by society? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 what seems wierd to me is that women having masculine qualities, such as intrest in sport, foundness of over drinking, being up for one night stands are now being seen as a positive thing, yet males possesing female qualities, are unsualy more harshly treated by society? Indeed, it seems weird, as the female qualities are often seen as positive and the male qualities negative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Ah that's an easy one! Because women rule the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I've never listened to what anyone said about me with any real effort. Even if they were right, there's no need for anyone to define me in any way. I am who I am and I'll be who I want to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts