Charlie Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I'm going for House Captain this year at school and I need to make a speech in front of everyone in the house and I'm not too sure on what to say in it. All the house captain does really is organise who's playing in the inter-house activities (football, badminton, basketball, hockey etc) and chooses the tactics and inspires your team to win. What usually happens is the person with the funniest speech or the most popular person wins. I would like the speech to be funny, but I don't want to put in a joke that no one laughs at. Last year one person through a ball into the audience and told them to throw it about, to build up team spirit. I want to do something similar but dont want to copy her exactly - any ideas anyone? And what about making the actual speech itself? I know you have to speak really slowly and clearly, I think I can do that. Anyone got good ways to calm nerves? What do you guys think I should say? This is what I've provisionally put down, my second attempt, my first one wasn't typed although I'll put it up later on... "For those of you who don’t me, my name is Charlie. I’m about kicking ass. I’m about taking names, and, we, you, are about winning games." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshMat Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 "Hi n00bs, i'm charlie, i wanna be your house captain because with me on your side we will attack the other teams' weak points, and inflict massive damage. One sport i will use as an example here is football... foooot baaaallllll. Thank you for your time, here is a ball, chuck it around, dont listen to the next guy, thanks" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mario114 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Spread bad stuff about the other people entering in a comical way, people will see the funny side of it; maybe a few jokes that could be a hint at current labour issues etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triforcemario Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 "Hi n00bs, i'm charlie, i wanna be your house captain because with me on your side we will attack the other teams' weak points, and inflict massive damage. One sport i will use as an example here is football... foooot baaaallllll. Thank you for your time, here is a ball, chuck it around, dont listen to the next guy, thanks"Of course, you can't forget that the other team are giants crabs, which you have to flip over and hit their weak points for massive damage and changing balls in real-time ball change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Odwin Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 The speech is your problem, but I would just encourage you to not say "er" a lot or any similar words. Speak clearly, slowly and be very prepared. However, I find it better to make notes of bullet points and just elaborate on them rather than writing out a whole script and just reading it. It's harder to do and takes more faith in yourself, but leads to a much more natural feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 The speech is your problem, but I would just encourage you to not say "er" a lot or any similar words. Speak clearly, slowly and be very prepared. However, I find it better to make notes of bullet points and just elaborate on them rather than writing out a whole script and just reading it. It's harder to do and takes more faith in yourself, but leads to a much more natural feel. I'm planning to learn the speech of heart and have notes in case I need them. I'm going to try not to say "um and er" at all, it really annoys me when other people do so I assum other people will get annoyed too. I do a reading a church every so often so I'm pretty confident I'll be able to speak clearly and slowly. What happens every year is that people come up here, tell a few jokes, which apparently makes them fit for the job of house captain. What they forget to tell you is that they don’t know what the hell they’re going to do to make Endrick win again. I can tell you now, three things, which I will bring to Endrick house. 1) Time. Previous house captains have left it until the last possible moment to come round to your registration classes to tell you about the next activity. Not me, I will come round the week before so absolutely everybody will know about it, then I will come around again on the Monday in case anyone was absent or had just forgotten. Last year people missed out on their favourite sports because the house captains neglected their classes. 2) Effort. Don’t you just hate it when you really want to play in the house football team, or any team for that matter, but can’t because of someone of lesser ability has argued that they are, in fact, the best player to play in that position and then goes on to do absolutely nothing all game? We’ve all been in that position before. I’m not going to stop people playing, definitely not, we get points in the House championship just for turning up with players. I’m all for people who can’t play the sport that well playing for the team. I will make sure that the better plays get to play in their best positions for the maximum amount of time properly. Gone will be the days where Endrick lose because the House Captain’s don’t know who can play where. I will be using my free time to come round your PE classes to see who can do what . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athriller Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 The best thing is to take it all in jest and not too seriously. No one cares about what you promise them and your vision of the future, you're in school and not at war. Just be all yeaaah baby what's up?? :awesome: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Odwin Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 What happens every year is that people come up here, tell a few jokes, which apparently makes them fit for the job of house captain. What they forget to tell you is that they don’t know what the hell they’re going to do to make Endrick win again. I can tell you now, three things, which I will bring to Endrick house.1) Time. Previous house captains have left it until the last possible moment to come round to your registration classes to tell you about the next activity. Not me, I will come round the week before so absolutely everybody will know about it, then I will come around again on the Monday in case anyone was absent or had just forgotten. If you are off sick I'll come round and visit you and bring some fruit. A nice banana perhaps, or a bunch of grapes. We'll have a nice chat and I'll let you know all about what you need to know. Last year people missed out on their favourite sports because the house captains neglected their classes. 2) Effort. Don’t you just hate it when you really want to play in the house football team, or any team for that matter, but can’t because of someone of lesser ability has argued that they are, in fact, the best player to play in that position and then goes on to do absolutely nothing all game? We’ve all been in that position before. It makes me angry. Very angry. And sad. Sometimes I wake up at night crying. But I’m not going to stop people playing, definitely not, we get points in the House championship just for turning up with players. So these liars have their worth and I’m all for people who can’t play the sport that well playing for the team. I will make sure that the better players get to play in their best positions for the maximum amount of time properly. Gone will be the days where Endrick lose because the House Captain’s don’t know who can play where. I will be using my free time to come round your PE classes to see who can do what and to check you all out in your skimpy shorts. Maybe I'll visit the girls classes too. An edit for my amusement. Please use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Make simple one or two line "promises"/slogans/ideas etc and print them on A4, just a simple advert like thing. And "vote for Moria" (or whatever your real name is) at the bottom. Then staple these over adverts in real magazines of varying target demographics (Maxim, ONM, 17, Nuts, Closer etc) and just give a very short introduction saying rather than bore you with speeches you'll give them magazines. Obviously not one for everyone (unless the houses are small) but it would be something very different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 An edit for my amusement. Please use it. Haha, that is awesome. I'm definitely using that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 An edit for my amusement. Please use it. You know, providing his school isn't too strict, he might actually be able to win with that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 You know, providing his school isn't too strict, he might actually be able to win with that... Considering in the Head Girl speeches someone "accidently" said 'bondage' instead of 'bonding', I think it'll be fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackfox Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Haha, great work Pikey! As for the speaking, its important not to "umm" and "err", it totally distracts the listener away from the point of the speech and makes you look an idiot tbh. Speak fluetly and calmly. As for the speech, just furfill the criteria - maybe crack a joke or two? Get a couple of teacher's to check through it. And most importantly, don't make it ramble, and be cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Chris Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 dont learn it off by heart, it makes it sound pre-rehershed. its better off making it sound natural and maybe missing afew points out rather than giving a formal speech. As long as you say the main stuff its ok. It definaterly doesnt seem like a formal speech kind of situation. Make a joke, something simple but funnnyish. talk to the audience like you'd talk to your mates, (which im guesssing they are). just generally act confident, that will get you more votes than any number of important points or how good the grammar is. Mr odwins speech is amost perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 If you're school really doesn't mind, you could explain just while you'll be the very best head boy you can be. (Angel has corrupted that phrase) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurtle Squad Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Anyone that gets to be a House Captain / Head Boy/Girl are usually those up arse, so watch how you come across.....damn I hated school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roostophe Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 That's a harsh way to get House Captain. At my school everybody says who they'd like to be house captain and then everybody votes for who they want (1 boy and 1 girl) I'm the Vice Captain for my house. But I actually got involved with stuff, I was a much better than the house captain as I took part in House Football. I couldn't get too stuck in because I had a drama exam that night and I couldn't do it if I was injured. Luckily though I got through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'm curious, what's the third point? Also, you have to start with this: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Uzi Nine Millimeeetaaah" And finish with "Thank you, I've been great." Certainly not taken from Scrubs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshMat Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 " I, have a dream, to become hosue captain i, have a dream, to be your leader and dictator!, i mean lover and companion..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Take a hint from Steve Ballmer, and go on stage screaming "HOUSE CAPTAIN, HOUSE CAPTAIN, HOUSE CAPTAIN! The other fucking guys are fucking pussies. I'm going to fucking bury those guys, I have done it before, and I will do it again… I'm going to fucking kill them." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'm curious, what's the third point? Commitment. I just couldn't be bothered to type that part up just then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Commitment. I just couldn't be bothered to type that part up just then. Holy shit kids, spot the irony :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluejay Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Holy shit kids, spot the irony :| :grin: Goddamn 15 posts can go to Canada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 For those of you who don’t me, my name is Charlie. You all know the famous Olympic motto, “The most important thing is not to win but to take part”. I don’t agree with that, winning definitely isn’t the most important part either. The most important part of sport is to enjoy yourself. There is absolutely no point in playing if you’re not enjoying it. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing you won’t play well. What happens every year is that people come up here, tell a few jokes, which apparently makes them fit for the job of house captain. What they forget to tell you is that they don’t know what the hell they’re going to do to make Endrick win again. I can tell you now, three things, which I will bring to Endrick house. 1) Time. Previous house captains have left it until the last possible moment to come round to your registration classes to tell you about the next activity. Not me, I will come round the week before so absolutely everybody will know about it, then I will come around again on the Monday in case anyone was absent or had just forgotten. Last year people missed out on their favourite sports because the house captains neglected their classes. 2) Effort. Don’t you just hate it when you really want to play in the house football team, or any team for that matter, but can’t because of someone of lesser ability has argued that they are, in fact, the best player to play in that position and then goes on to do absolutely nothing all game? We’ve all been in that position before. It makes me angry. Very angry. And sad. Sometimes I wake up at night crying. But I’m not going to stop people playing, definitely not, we get points in the House championship just for turning up with players. So these liars do have their worth. I’m all for people who can’t play the sport that well playing for the team. I will make sure that the better players get to play in their best positions for the maximum amount of time properly. Gone will be the days where Endrick lose because the House Captain’s don’t know who can play where. The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital. I will be using my free time to come round your PE classes to see who can do what and to check you all out in your skimpy shorts. Maybe I'll visit the girl’s classes too. 3) Commitment. I’ve been at school here for 5 years I’ve always been behind Endrick 100%. I’ll be giving 110% this year if you vote me in. I will make sure that I put give my all to every sport Endrick participate in, whether it’s first year, second year, or any year. I want to win. We will win. I’ve noticed that in the past few years that there is a distinct lack of individual inter-house sports, there’s badminton and the swimming gala, two events in the whole year to show off how good you are. I know there are a lot of table tennis tables in the sports cupboard, why not have a table tennis championship? I know for a fact that we have a lot of keen table tennis players. And tennis, there are 3 tennis courts over at Killearn that I’m sure the club would be more than willing to let us use if we asked them. And what about some more team activities? There used to be pop quiz at Christmas time which everyone enjoyed, why not get more of them going again with house points for the winners? There are a lot of non-sporty people here, they will want to help Endrick win too I’m sure. Also, I’m sure Drew would be more than happy to lead the senior boys hockey team out onto the field to take on Campsie and Lomond. 20 out of 20 at Higher PE last year, not bad. Endrick are born winners. We can win the championshp again. We will win it again. Thank you. The finished article. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts