Jack
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Everything posted by Jack
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The '87 date is for when SMB was released in Europe. Lost Levels' date is from the Japanese release, as it was never released in Europe.
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L'eau d'Issey Pour Homme. You don't need anything else.
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bWVWppDPpDg
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Megan Fox looks like Nadia from Big Brother. You know - the guy? WE DESERVE THE TRUTH.
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Aw man, the change to vampire horror in that film is immense. I love showing the film to people who haven't seen it and not letting on about the second half of the film. Plus it's got that amazing table dance with Salma Hayek in it.
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So you're happy to go and watch bad actors? That's a bit silly.
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It would have been good if they'd given it to someone who knows how to direct action films where you can actually see what's going on. As it is, Michael "More fast cuts! Shake the camera more!" Bay shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a camera.
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You mustn't have watched many action films then.
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Yeah, the BBC are going to kill off their most successful show in years.
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Why go into a blockbuster expecting great dialogue? Because blockbuster films can have great dialogue. I don't know why people think that it's OK to say "Well, it's a blockbuster" to try and cover for bad cinema. What about Star Wars? Die Hard? Jurassic Park? There's three blockbuster films off the top of my head which don't treat the audience like idiots.
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I watch films to be entertained, not to have brand names flashed up on screen constantly. I wouldn't have minded if they just said "We tracked you down using the Internet", but to keep shouting "THE TRANSFORMERS FIND HIM FROM EBAY" is just tiresome. It's Transformers, for Christ's sake! I doubt there's a person alive in this generation who hasn't heard of it. It doesn't need to have advert money pumped into it. And read what I said about the effects again. I said I hated the design of the Transformers - they look like spindly Meccano kits. Horrible to look at. And I hated the humour. I don't think wanking and pissing jokes really go well with Transformers. I don't care if I'm "in a minority" on that, I'm not going to change my opinion because other people think differently. That would be stupid. He was hardly amazing. He looked like he was reading his lines off a card most of the time. I lost count of the number of times that he shouted "Nonononononono!" or "Blockemblockemblockemblockem!".
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I like good films where lots of shit gets blown up, like Commando or Predator. Michael Bay doesn't do good films where lots of shit gets blown up, he does shit films where my faith in cinema gets blown up. And yeah, I was a fan, but not an amazingly hardcore one. I had a few of the toys and watched the old cartoon a lot. Nothing in this film led me to believe that Shia is a good actor. I've heard he's in Disturbia as well, so there's a good reason to avoid that.
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Four questions: Yeah? And? So? What? There's so much wrong with that film, I'm amazed it was even made. Terrible childish "humour" - Ohoho! "Seamen" sounds like "semen"! And his mum thinks he was having a wank! Incredible. Endless shots of Michael Bay's American Army Porn where we have lots of pans around Jeeps, tanks and guys standing around with guns. A lead actor who can't act, and spends half the film shouting "Nonononono!". Awful graphic design - the Transformers themselves look like they're held together with kitchen cutlery and paper clips. The Citroen C4 advert had better looking Transformers than this piece of shit. Speaking of the Transformers, bit part characters got more development and screen time than most of the robots! And then there's the battle scenes where the camera's so shaky, it's apparently being held by a caffeine-bombed Parkinsons sufferer. If you're going to spend millions of dollars creating intricate CG models, have the decency to actually let us watch what's going on. Not to mention product placement that's so blatant it's offensive: IPODS! HP COMPUTERS! XBOX 360! PANASONIC! EBAY! EBAY! EBAY! EBAY! EVERY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES! It took the Hollywood product whoring crown from I, Robot within the first half hour. I've been a fan of Transformers for a while, but I don't remember the one that turns into a Mountain Dew machine. Seriously, why do people keep giving Michael Bay money? He's never made a good film in his life.
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Transformers. An utter pile of shite made by an enormous retard to entertain other retards.
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There's been nothing said about the Mandarin at all. The Iron Monger's the only villain in this one.
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OYn5hxeFt10
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Pure Pwnage? Pure Pish, more like. Internet humour's very hit and miss, and this is very miss.
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You need more metal glasses. Also a Celtic Frost t-shirt.
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I liked the episode, and I thought John Simm was fantastic ("Because of the gas!"), but what the hell were they thinking with that music? They've blatantly lifted that concept from the last series of Battlestar Galactica, but they totally missed the mark. A shame, cause it spoiled a nice scene.
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"Here are your names... Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink." "Why am I Mr. Pink?" "Because you're a faggot, alright?"
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I knew there was something I forgot to mention.
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That's something called "consistency". Why change the way it teleports? It's the same machine all the time.
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Nobody "doesn't" have an accent. Otherwise you don't have a sound that happens when you use your vocal chords. Me, I lived in Somerset for the first few years of my life, so I started out with a West Country accent, but it's become more North Eastern, as I've lived up here for the last eighteen years or so. My dandy voice makes the most anti choice granny's panties moist.
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I only knew about most of that because a combination of the desire of those numb fucks at The Sun to openly print spoilers for TV shows and the people at work who leave the areforementioned rag open at those pages. The Doctor leaving the TARDIS unlocked was probably because (until now) he was the only Time Lord around. As far as I'm aware, only Time Lords and pre-approved passengers can operate the TARDIS, so it wouldn't matter if anyone else got inside. And be fair, the Doctor's always left the TARDIS unlocked for anyone to sneak into it. After all, that's how Zoe, Tegan and Sarah Jane became part of the crew.
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I agree. I predicted it would be fucking brilliant, and it was.
