The overgifting "obsession", did it start in the UK or NA?

[Oxigen_Waste]

Ok, so after realizing over the years here the insane number of gifts you guys usually give and receive and considering it's something that only seems to happen in these numbers in the UK and NA, where did it originate?

 

Edit - I basically mean to ask if this was something they inherited from you or if it was the other way around. (no offense by the way, just curious)

Edited December 25, 2012 by Oxigen_Waste

[Daft]

I think it's linked to the rise in the general level of misery in society and the need to dispel it with materialism.

 

...So I guess it started in America.

[bob]

What exactly do you qualify as 'insane'.

 

I usually give/receive one gift per family member. And that gift is in the region of £10-20 (€12-24).

 

I wouldn't have thought that was excessive, but then i've never known any different. If we did inherit it, it was from before i can remember i suppose....

[Jimbob]

As America like to take credit, i'll blame them. By insane, they go way over the top in opinion.

[MoogleViper]

What exactly do you qualify as 'insane'.

 

I usually give/receive one gift per family member. And that gift is in the region of £10-20 (€12-24).

 

This for me as well, give about £15-20 to each family member.

 

I receive about £200 from my parents for Christmas. Not a small amount, but not what I'd call insane. Although most people I know get more. Get less for birthdays. Maybe around £60-80.

 

What sort of money is being spent in Portugal?

[Oxigen_Waste]

What exactly do you qualify as 'insane'.

 

I usually give/receive one gift per family member. And that gift is in the region of £10-20 (€12-24).

 

I wouldn't have thought that was excessive, but then i've never known any different. If we did inherit it, it was from before i can remember i suppose....

 

One per family member sounds insane to me. Anyone over 21 usually gets either 0, 1 or 2 gifts per Xmas over here, which is consistent with my french cousin-in-law's traditions, too. Hell, to even expect a gift from someone other than your SO if you're not a kid is kind of weird after a certain age here. In my household Xmas usually means there's somewhere between 20 or 35 of us hanging around so it would make sense not to have 1 per member, but even regarding people with much smaller families/Xmases, 1 per member isn't the way it's done over here. And as much as I like to bitch about the recession's iron grip over here, everyone in my family is upper middle class which means there's is not nor has there ever been a shortage of money behind it to justify that absence, it's just a cultural thing, I suppose.

Even as kids, you never really get more than 1 gift per family unit (as in I usually got 1 from my parents and brothers, 1 from my aunt's family, 1 from my other aunt's family and 1 from my uncle's family), I think the most gifts I've ever gotten in a year was 5 when I was in 6th grade, and for the last 6 years or so (I'm 25) the most I've gotten was 2.

 

Using facebook as a reference point, out of all my international friends it seems that other than 1 specific incredibly rich german guy, you guys, the canadians and the americans get a much higher number of gifts than everyone else. Everyone knows why (higher incomes and most of all the much lower price of most consumables because of the wider consumer base), but I'm interested in where exactly it started. Because that rampant Xmas consumerism seems to be an english-speaking territory exclusive, almost. There's a bump in sales all around the world in Xmas, but "you guys" (sorry for generalizing) take the cake, by far.

 

This for me as well, give about £15-20 to each family member.

 

I receive about £200 from my parents for Christmas. Not a small amount, but not what I'd call insane. Although most people I know get more. Get less for birthdays. Maybe around £60-80.

 

What sort of money is being spent in Portugal?

 

Lol. 200£ for Xmas. Ahahah, oh man, that would be awesome. :P My parents give me nothing for christmas, because I'm 25. And when I did get gifts from them it was usually around 40£. Don't know if it helps but my mom owns a 4 store lab chain and usually makes around 3000£ monthly and my dad's a doctor (and head of his department). So yeah, 200£ is insane, lol.

[Jimbob]

This year, as always i spend around £25 per person who's in at Christmas. I contribute money to the household for Aunts/Uncles/Cousin presents. I buy food in as well for the household.

 

This year i reckon i had about £80 spent on me, and was given just short of £200 in cash. We don't go overboard in the house, mainly just buy gifts for something to open on the day. My ideas are 2 presents each. One gift of something they'd like/want, the other is a naff gift for humour.

[MoogleViper]

Lol. 200£ for Xmas. Ahahah, oh man, that would be awesome. :P My parents give me nothing for christmas, because I'm 25. And when I did get gifts from them it was usually around 40£. Don't know if it helps but my mom owns a 4 store lab chain and usually makes around 3000£ monthly and my dad's a doctor (and head of his department). So yeah, 200£ is insane, lol.

 

Well we're upper working class (is that a thing) so most people will most likely have slightly-significantly more than that (and my anecdotal evidence supports this).

 

Is that a portugese/non UK/US tradition, or just one of your own family?

 

I'd like to hear from other people on this.

 

EDIT: by 1 per family member I mean close family members. So for me that's Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister, Brother-in-law, Sister-in-law, and Niece. I receive presents from them and them only (although my nana did give me £20 the other day when I went to see her, but that's not the norm any more).

 

As for extended family, don't get anything from Dad's side (used to from grandparents, but they've both passed away now). As for my mum's side, I got presents from Aunties and Uncles until I was 18, and from Grandparents until I was 21. That was kind of a rule that they had.

Edited December 26, 2012 by MoogleViper

[Oxigen_Waste]

Is that a portugese/non UK/US tradition, or just one of your own family?

 

Not exactly sure what you're reffering to here, but if you clarify it, I'd be happy to reply.

[Jonnas]

The usual in Portugal is spending a reasonable amount of money (usually 20€ as a limit) on each person you wish to give presents to. It's also common to give a present to an entire household, as opposed to each single member of that family. Each family has variations, but this is the most common.

 

I disagree with Oxi's parents that don't give anything to 25 year-olds (I mean, if you're going to treat your son as an adult, fine, but people give things to adults, too, even if it's just something symbolic and inexpensive), but spending 200£ on one person is also too much (though I know someone who showers their children with presents at Christmas, and they're not exactly rich, either).

 

My parents usually give me and my sister one or two gifts each (depending on whether there's something in particular we need or really want at that time), within the reasonable price range (which used to be bigger when we were children. Upon retrospect, 200£ is probably close to what they spent on us back then)

Since my father's side of the family is small (he has one sister, and her family's the same size as ours), our households give a present to each of the members of the other one (the exception being Grandma, who gets a present from each individual). My mother's side is much larger (7 households, including our own), so we tend to limit ourselves to one gift per household (though we limited ourselves even further this year, to secret santa, due to austerity). Besides that, there are also particularly close, individual gifts to be had (such as Godparents within the family).

But all of that doesn't need much money, something handmade works. Usually better.

 

Like I said, it varies. From this thread, I get the impression it's not much different for the Brits around here, except for the fact that their wallets are evidently larger than ours.

 

That said, I always got the impression that the UK and the US were, indeed, way more into consumerism than we were. And even though Daft was kind-of-joking, he's likely to be absolutely right.

[Oxigen_Waste]

I disagree with Oxi's parents that don't give anything to 25 year-olds (I mean, if you're going to treat your son as an adult, fine, but people give things to adults, too, even if it's just something symbolic and inexpensive)

 

It's not a rule They just happened to not give me anything this year or 2 years ago. If there's something worth giving, they do it, but gifting just for the sake of it kind of goes out the window once you reach a certain age, in my experience. Like I said, expecting it is weird, but it obviously happens. It just becomes much less of an obligation and therefore more circumstancial. And judging by my circle of friends across the 3 cities I frequently live in, this seems to be the norm around here.

 

My parents usually give me and my sister one or two gifts each (depending on whether there's something in particular we need or really want at that time), within the reasonable price range (which used to be bigger when we were children. Upon retrospect, 200£ is probably close to what they spent on us back then).

 

In my experience, the more expensive 100£+ gifts are something I associate exclusively with birthdays, the most expensive gift I've ever gotten from my parents in Xmas was a Playmobil Pirate Ship... I have no idea how much it cost but I'd reckon it's somewhere between 40-70£. My Xmas presents as a kid/teen were much more along the lines of VHS tapes and books than any other thing, so since my parents only ever gave me 1 gift per christmas I don't think they've ever spent anywhere near 200£. They have on stuff like my computer but those "expensive" big gifts were always saved for my birthday.

 

As a comparison point, on the money giving side of things, my godmother always gave me 25€ for easter and Xmas and 50€ for my birthday, which is roughly 82£/year, but once again, as soon as I hit 20 something years old, that stopped happening.

 

Like I said, it varies. From this thread, I get the impression it's not much different for the Brits around here, except for the fact that their wallets are evidently larger than ours.

 

That said, I always got the impression that the UK and the US were, indeed, way more into consumerism than we were. And even though Daft was kind-of-joking, he's likely to be absolutely right.

 

You gotta go check out the christmas threads, lol... it's insanity, I tell you!

 

Sério, é ridículo do nosso ponto de vista, um gajo fica parvo a ver/ler aquilo. Ahah

[MoogleViper]

Not exactly sure what you're reffering to here, but if you clarify it, I'd be happy to reply.

 

I meant, is giving less presents something that your family does, or something that happens nationwide or everywhere outside of the US/UK. But Jonnas seems to agree with you now, so it's not likely to be just something family specific.

 

I never knew it would be any different. Obviously I knew it would be different in poorer, less affluent countries, but I didn't think western Europe would be different.

[Beast]

I've spent £20-£30 on family and £10 on my friends but then again, my family isn't exactly huge and when it comes to my aunt and my cousins, I just give them a big box of chocolates between them. I don't know where it started exactly, really, though. Interesting topic to discuss.

[Guy]

Most piles of gifts are a combination of gifts from MANY people. I don't think it's linked with misery, it's just that people like to give people presents.

[Diageo]

I live with just my mam, so I only have to get her a present. Then there's some cousins and such here too so we do a kris kindle where it cost (my mam) 10 euro for 2 presents and they were distributed between the family. So altogether, I spent 0 euro this year, got 30 from my mother and a 5 euro kris kindle gift.

 

However, all the Irish people get ridiculous amounts of presents.

[Jonnas]

It's not a rule They just happened to not give me anything this year or 2 years ago. If there's something worth giving, they do it, but gifting just for the sake of it kind of goes out the window once you reach a certain age, in my experience. Like I said, expecting it is weird, but it obviously happens. It just becomes much less of an obligation and therefore more circumstancial. And judging by my circle of friends across the 3 cities I frequently live in, this seems to be the norm around here.

 

In my experience, the more expensive 100£+ gifts are something I associate exclusively with birthdays, the most expensive gift I've ever gotten from my parents in Xmas was a Playmobil Pirate Ship... I have no idea how much it cost but I'd reckon it's somewhere between 40-70£. My Xmas presents as a kid/teen were much more along the lines of VHS tapes and books than any other thing, so since my parents only ever gave me 1 gift per christmas I don't think they've ever spent anywhere near 200£. They have on stuff like my computer but those "expensive" big gifts were always saved for my birthday.

 

Huh, I never really distinguished one or the other, as a child. I mean, I knew I was going to get gifts from fewer people during my birthday, but the gifts my close family gave me and my sister were around the same value.

And nowadays, birthdays are the days we don't expect significant gifts at all. Christmas is the day where everyone's giving them to everyone, so it's more important there.

 

(Though the 200€ I was referring to was due to a Power Rangers toy that cost 15 contos back in the day, as I found out. Since it was late when I posted that, I miscalculated, that was 75€, not 175€ Still, I got a few toys more due to the children-loving family, so it's hard to say how much I got each year, total.)

 

I never got VHS tapes, though, there were plenty of those between our extended family, so borrowing or watching them together was common, and I only had a handful, none of them bought for special occasions. I used to get toys, games, and the occasional books, which quickly became more frequent.

 

As a comparison point, on the money giving side of things, my godmother always gave me 25€ for easter and Xmas and 50€ for my birthday, which is roughly 82£/year, but once again, as soon as I hit 20 something years old, that stopped happening.

 

I think the only guaranteed cash for me is the one I get from my godfather (20-30€ is my entire christmas present from him) and my grandma (who insists on giving 20€ to each grandchild every year).

With my godmother it was always gifts, never money, but that's only because we're close.

 

You gotta go check out the christmas threads, lol... it's insanity, I tell you!

 

Sério, é ridículo do nosso ponto de vista, um gajo fica parvo a ver/ler aquilo. Ahah

 

Not only have I checked those, I went to London during a November. The stores looked like ours during December, I could be fooled into thinking it was already Christmas

 

É um abuso, é o que é! Pelo menos comemos melhor

[heroicjanitor]

I live with just my mam, so I only have to get her a present. Then there's some cousins and such here too so we do a kris kindle where it cost (my mam) 10 euro for 2 presents and they were distributed between the family. So altogether, I spent 0 euro this year, got 30 from my mother and a 5 euro kris kindle gift.

 

However, all the Irish people get ridiculous amounts of presents.

 

Well you went to a posh spoiled school so yeah :/

[Diageo]

Well you went to a posh spoiled school so yeah :/

 

For free.

[Frank]

Agree that the Irish are pretty extreme too, which I only noticed in the last year. Because parents were helping with my living situation out of home I felt guilty asking for anything more than a few CDs , DVDs (did get a rad fujifilm instant camera though!). It's funny, even though we (my family) has been affected bad-ish by the whole economic downturn , I can tell my parents are really determined to buy at least 1 "big" gift for my brother, sister and myself. Like, my brother got a laptop this year.

 

Not as bad as my cousins though. 1 group in particular made a n explicit point about struggling financially, for Christmas they got their children an iPad mini, an electric guitar, 2 iPhones and 2 laptops among a bunch of other smaller stuff.

 

I'm awful for Christmas though, I don't buy for anyone (lollll)

[Ashley]

My brother was in (read: caused) a car crash on Christmas day and one of the passengers in the other car was a girl who must have been around eight. She was, understandably, shook up so I tried to talk to her to I don't know, take her mind off it? Anyway, asked what she got for Christmas and said various bits and bobs and £200. I don't know if that's from a number of people, but what is a child of that age going to do with £200?

 

As others have said, I spend around £20 on people and expect little in return (as I'm apparently hard to buy for).

[heroicjanitor]

 

 

But yeah I'm Irish and I don't ask for too much. But then there are 9 people in my house so I don't want to.

[jayseven]

@Oxigen_Waste perhaps your upper-middle-class-working-class-medium-rare family feel that they disperse enough of their income amongst their seedlings that they need not reiterate their "love" for you during festive seasons?

 

I'm speaking as someone from, as I'm increasingly aware, a lower class background. This is the time when struggling families with low-to-none income try to compensate and over-gift their children with vague semblances of compassion. Entire streets of dole-seekers and weekend-staff and young-mums will force their family to eat a single loaf of bread for a month if it means their child can have a tracy island or a cabbage patch doll or a gogo hamster or whatever will temporarily bequeath their sprogs with the notion that they are just as loved as everyone else's children.

 

A child who gets nothing all-year will savour xmas and birthday for these monetary-based days. It's not about family gatherings. It's about finally, finally getting stuff!!

 

... As a consequence I do, as an adult, overspend and over-indulge. I'm 25 and technically jobless and I've spent hundreds on presents. My brother-in-law gave me a wallet for xmas and I gave him a wallet, chocolates and a mint plant. He's just bought a house.

 

This probably says a lot more about me than my country... but then again we should be aware that the philosophy of the self is a vastly different beast to the philosophy of the society.

[Sheikah]

One per family member sounds insane to me.

 

Clearly this is perspective, as far as I can see this topic should have been called 'Over-Scrooging - did it start in Portugal?'

 

C'man, really? You would buy say your brother a present and not your sister?

 

Blimey, must be a pretty cold Christmas around your tree.

[Jonnas]

Clearly this is perspective, as far as I can see this topic should have been called 'Over-Scrooging - did it start in Portugal?'

 

C'man, really? You would buy say your brother a present and not your sister?

 

Blimey, must be a pretty cold Christmas around your tree.

 

I think he was talking about the extended family when he said that. It was later cleared up that people were just referring to close family.

[Sheikah]

Fair enough. In which case I'd say that culture doesn't really exist in the UK. I have too many cousins that I couldn't possibly buy presents for everyone.