Diageo Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I assumed you would know I was joking about the last bit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Don't be silly, Ash has got to be, like, 30 now right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneres11 Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I'll learn so much about a vaginas. Not sure if that's a good thing or not. It's not - you wont like it Magnus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 The fourth one involves the vampire ripping open the girl's stomach to save the baby, who can talk like an adult human. The warewolf then instantly falls in love with the baby and marks her as his mate. And the baby is immortal but won't age past 16 or something. Really? good lord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 It's not - you wont like it Magnus. See, this is another reason not to read Fifty Shades of Grey. :p "He ripped off his underwear, revealing his throbbing eight-inch penis." "He thrust it into her vagina, past the flappy things. Also, the whole thing was moist for some reason and part of it was bulging. He started to get a real hankering for fish." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolan Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I am only interested in this book if Gilbert Gottfried will read all of it to me. That clip was goddamned hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolness Bears Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I tried reading this over the shoulder of some woman at the bus stop. Anyway she looked at me like I was the ODD one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted August 5, 2012 Author Share Posted August 5, 2012 I've read a few pages of 50 Shades of Grey and all I have to say is "Wow!" It's seriously badly written. And this book knocked Harry Potter and The Da Vinci Code off the charts of selling the most books?! Pissing hell, I worry about the future if this is the quality of writing we accept. Well, I guess my future is secure then. If they accept bad writing like that then I should have no problem becoming an author so I suppose that's good news for me then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneres11 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I've read a few pages of 50 Shades of Grey and all I have to say is "Wow!" It's seriously badly written. And this book knocked Harry Potter and The Da Vinci Code off the charts of selling the most books?! Pissing hell, I worry about the future if this is the quality of writing we accept. Well, I guess my future is secure then. If they accept bad writing like that then I should have no problem becoming an author so I suppose that's good news for me then! Lol. Just wait til you get to chapter 8 Animal. That's when all the dirty, naughty stuff happens! Haha. You'll love it!! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted August 5, 2012 Author Share Posted August 5, 2012 Lol. Just wait til you get to chapter 8 Animal. That's when all the dirty, naughty stuff happens! Haha. You'll love it!! :p I don't know if I can actually stand the awful writing! :p Seriously though, how this outsold all seven Harry Potter books on Amazon is beyond me! Of course, I'll read it all to give you my proper opinion after I've finished reading Mockingjay but yeah, this is...bloody horrific writing! lmao. I can't believe I'm about to actually say this but this makes Stephenie Meyer's writing look magnificent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolan Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I tried reading this over the shoulder of some woman at the bus stop. Anyway she looked at me like I was the ODD one. I love you Coolness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamishmash Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Porn has way better plotting than 50 Shades of Grey. Also, this book was originally written under the pen name "SnowQueens_IceDragon" so what do you expect? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madeinbeats Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Colleen Rooney is reading this. She keeps it on the shelve next to the Argos catalogue. Tells you all you need to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I have to say I have read some of the Fifty shades of Grey....and I seriously wished I hadn't. It's poorly written, its based on a girl who is a virgin and meets a 27? year old billionaire. Eurgh, there's so many things wrong, it's literally: 1. Boy meets girl 2. Boy stalks girl 3. Sex 4. Dangerous situation 5. Sex 6. Repeat My friends are reading them and I just don't understand how... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted August 5, 2012 Author Share Posted August 5, 2012 That pretty much sounds like Twilight (but replace the 'sex' parts with 'mushy poorly-written love dialogue' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaggle64 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 (edited) I love finding good erotica, not just for titillation purposes but there's stuff being legitimately expressed out there. I freely admit going through erotic fanfiction & art/fanart galleries of all different stripes just to read the comments beneath each piece. Maybe I'm voyeur but it's really interesting to see how people relate to them and sometimes you find something genuinely well produced and heartfelt. My two favourite examples right now are both webcomics. I like Jess Fink's comic Chester XYV, which is funny, fluid and utterly charming with it's feminine sexuality and Steampunk aesthetic. I also like Starfighter (under no circumstances to be confused with 80's kids movie classic The Last Starfighter), a fiery gay relationship story which has a fantastic sense of pressure & claustrophobia in it's setting of narrow spaceship corridors. The dangerous sense of possession between the two main characters is handled beautifully, in my opinion. As for 50 Shades I've only read short excerpts of it and I only have two feelings about it: 1. I don't like how many people are reading it just to laugh at it, I don't care how badly it's written. You're so smart? Write your own best seller. 2. I don't understand why people just don't go on fanfiction.net. Where you can find an infinite supply of better, similar, smuttier stuff. For free. Edited August 5, 2012 by gaggle64 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 1. I don't like how many people are reading it just to laugh at it, I don't care how badly it's written. You're so smart? Write your own best seller. But one of the reasons why it's such a bestseller is because people are reading it to laugh at how bad it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 I love finding good erotica, not just for titillation purposes but there's stuff being legitimately expressed out there. I freely admit going through erotic fanfiction & art/fanart galleries of all different stripes just to read the comments beneath each piece. Maybe I'm voyeur but it's really interesting to see how people relate to them and sometimes you find something genuinely well produced and heartfelt. My two favourite examples right now are both webcomics. I like Jess Fink's comic Chester XYV, which is funny, fluid and utterly charming with it's feminine sexuality and Steampunk aesthetic. I also like Starfighter (under no circumstances to be confused with 80's kids movie classic The Last Starfighter), a fiery gay relationship story which has a fantastic sense of pressure & claustrophobia in it's setting of narrow spaceship corridors. The dangerous sense of possession between the two main characters is handled beautifully, in my opinion. I actually find that good erotica can be quite a lot more sexy than porn. Fanfiction.net does indeed have a nice selection. 1. I don't like how many people are reading it just to laugh at it, I don't care how badly it's written. You're so smart? Write your own best seller. Why not? I watched Twilight for the same reason. Heck, I was actually expecting it to be better than what most jokes make it out to be, but no, it was pretty much as bad as they say it is. I enjoyed it massively for exactly that reason. "Write your own best seller"? Sorry, but that argument doesn't fly. I may not be able to write good literature (I've never really tried), but that doesn't somehow mean I'm not able to evaluate the quality of other people's writing. Besides, sales figures are not a measure of quality, only of popularity. For the record I haven't read either Twilight or 50 Shades Of Grey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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