Hero-of-Time Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Edge slam the conference and rightly so. It’s not enough that Don Mattrick merely sounds like Criswell, the spit-curled American TV psychic known for his demented ‘predictions’. Together with a bunch of equally insane speakers from Microsoft and its partners, the interactive entertainment boss left this year’s viewer thinking he knew nothing of the future at all - not that it stopped him talking about it. Had someone announced a new virtual currency called the Microsoft Lozenge, which in the absence of interesting videogames to spend it on could be sucked on to make ESPN taste like hot dogs, it wouldn’t have seemed out of place. At least we’d have had a laugh. There was no new hardware reveal, of course. Not even a whiff of the console codenamed Durango. “Today, it’s all about Xbox 360,” droned Mattrick, kicking off what’s best described as an excellent advert for gaming on PC. Because if Xbox is indeed the biggest console gaming brand on the planet, and if this is the landscape Durango will inherit, then console gaming is in trouble. One after another, people and games were rolled out that had many wondering what year it was. Halo 4, it turns out, does an excellent impression of Metroid Prime, the demo showing us a fetid forest through a convex tactical visor. Most of it was dedicated to a new enemy type and half of it, at least, seemed to require some thought. Some lore crept in, then blossomed into a montage that spoke of Forerunners, Cortana, and whatever else keeps Halo fans happy. They’re still out there, presumably, and very much in control. Many expected this year to see a slugfest of frankly barbaric action games, and Splinter Cell: Blacklist drew first blood. Sam Fisher is now in charge of Third Echelon, which besides executing people in balletic fashion means giving plenty of orders. And you know what that means: Kinect! So smug was one presenter’s grin that it fell to his colleague to form the voice commands - and very silly he looked, too. Fisher, meanwhile, has become a mix of Conviction gunplay and Assassin’s Creed traversal. “That’s killing in motion,” apparently. Next up was EA Sports head Andrew Wilson, who, after introducing Madden 13, proceeded to tear open a hole in the space-time continuum, out of which stepped none other than Joe Montana. That’s right, the Joe Montana Sports Talk Football Joe Montana. He’s still alive. The irony was that, unlike that remarkable Mega Drive game, here Joe was talking into the console rather than out of it. And if that wasn’t revolutionary enough, you can swear at FIFA 13 and the commentary team picks up on it. Progress. The new trailer for Fable: The Journey involves sub-Zeno Clash combat cut with shots of a player engaged in sub-The Last Airbender live-action spellcasting. There’s a charming game in there somewhere, we’re sure, but the marketing team’s still looking for it. Forza: Horizon’s trailer reminds us what Need For Speed would have aimed for had Criterion not shaken some sense into it. And Gears Of War: Judgment? That could have been a teaser for any Gears game, so don’t expect judgements from us. For whatever reason, no one thought to mention that Horizon is actually very ambitious, and Gears the product of the talented People Can Fly. What felt like a third of the conference was now dedicated to what you might call the X-top-box: 360 as a streaming media hub. This was a good chance for the presenters to forget that anywhere exists beyond America and Canada, boasting of last year’s UFC app that no one else can get. 35 new content providers were announced, among then Nickelodeon and Paramount Pictures. We look forward to learning that we can’t get them either. Then, suddenly: “Do you love hockey? Of course, right?” We don’t, as it happens, but that didn’t stop a lot of hockey from appearing on the giant screen. That’s the modern notion of choice right there. The announcement of streaming service Xbox Music came and went in a flurry of lifestyle marketing and UI shots, remarkable for the claim that “you simply can’t talk about entertainment without talking about music”. Introducing fitness app Nike+ Training was the equally shocking: “If you have a body, you’re an athlete.” And if you’ve got a mouth, presumably, you’re a poet. And a console business? You’re Shigeru Miyamoto. Or Rupert Murdoch. Or not. “We know you all love cars!” yelled Marc Whitten stupidly, presenting Xbox SmartGlass. SmartGlass is best described as a convergence of your Windows devices - tablet, phone, console - around your current activity. So it could “immerse you” in, to use Microsoft’s example, an episode of Game Of Thrones by surrounding you with additional content. That in this demo meant a realtime map showing where the characters are from scene-to-scene, and the usual meta-content about cast and crew. Technically, it’s impressive. It might even end up in games if Microsoft beats the developers hard enough. The last time we checked, though, the most immersive way to watch Game Of Thrones was to establish a realtime link between your eyeballs and the television set, shutting out the inane banter of other household appliances. We must be getting old. The audience’s bloodlust had calmed enough at this point for some more brutality. The “unique” Tomb Raider looked like Uncharted plus archery until it turned into Crash Bandicoot, Lara stumbling through corridors of rock and trees. It looks gorgeous, just like a movie. You know the rest. Resident Evil 6 looked fun and slick, but not nearly as traumatic as whatever befell its developers backstage, who looked like they’d just seen a ghost. Or Keiji Inafune. Then - thank God - South Park: The Stick Of Truth was up. The presenting Trey Parker and Matt Stone had clearly been laughing since the middle of the SmartGlass presentation and didn’t actually stop until they were halfway through their lines. They joked that the game would interact with your oven, then they laughed, then we laughed, then we cried while they walked off. They seemed genuinely impressed with Obsidian’s work on the game’s art style and humbled by games as a medium; perhaps they should inherit the entire Xbox business. Then, in a sneak move worth of Solid Snake, Usher managed to do a live performance halfway through a trailer for Dance Central 3. The guy’s a pro: he even looked like the audience was enjoying it. Xbox Live Kinect game Wreckateer, meanwhile, is a cross between Angry Birds and the bit in Heavenly Sword no one liked. Somewhere in the midst of this was a cryptic, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it teaser for Matter, another Xbox Live game from Pirates Of The Caribbean director Gore Verbinski. This is one to watch because joining Verbisnki at the helm is Chronicles Of Riddick producer Ian Stevens. Of course, this event treated it like it had been found on the bottom on someone’s shoe. It sounds like we’re having a lot of fun at Microsoft’s expense here, but it’s gallows humour. Either publishers were genuinely withholding all their games (unlikely), or this was one of the most contemptuous press conferences in E3 history. Returning to the stage before the anticlimactic Call Of Duty: Black Ops II, even Mattrick seemed to be in on some private joke, smirking as he remembered his lines. If anyone was taking this seriously, they were on the wrong side of the stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Falcon Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 What an excellent read :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murr Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 At the end when they said times exclusive content i had my hopes up it would be GTA5 Disappointed. On the plus side. I like Halo and Gears of war so more of both is great for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 I don't really get the moaning, tbh. Apart from Microsoft could/should have more first party IPs (that aren't on Kinect), the 360 has a crap load of games coming out for it. Yeah, there were no real surprises but it is - as with the PS3 - the year preceding a new console. And Edge always talk like they have a tree up their collective ass. There is no analysis in their commentary, just thinly veiled fanboyism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 And the 'fucking excellent' was mostly about it's flexibility in terms of how open it is (iOS/Android/Etc). I mean, who doesn't have a smartphone nowadays. From what i gather its only windows enabled devices, so windows phones or tablets, so thats about a flexible as you get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 No, it's for iOS and Android, too. I know the Internet is a pretty daunting prospect, but give it a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamba Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 A bit uncalled for Daft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzybee Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 I think as a conference it was dull and poor. But ultimately the 360 have some great games andnewservices to look forward to. They just need to learn how to hold a conference, they're atrocious at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero-of-Time Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 I think as a conference it was dull and poor. But ultimately the 360 have some great games andnewservices to look forward to. They just need to learn how to hold a conference, they're atrocious at it. Problem is, most of these services never leave the US! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 This is what's making it where, Absolute Radio -U.K. Ameba TV - Canada, U.S. BreakMedia - Australia, Canada, India, Ireland, Singapore, South Africa, U.K., U.S. Comedy Central Stand Up - U.S. Comoyo - Denmark, Norway, Sweden Corus Entertainment's Franklin the Turtle - Canada GameSpot TV - Australia, Canada, U.K., U.S. Headweb - Denmark, Finland, Norway, Sweden Indie Flix - U.S. Machinima - All Xbox LIVE markets Napster - Germany, U.K. Nickelodeon - U.S. Paramount Movies - U.S. Picturebox - U.K. Quickflix - Australia, New Zealand Rakuten ShowTime - Japan Revision3 - Canada, U.K., U.S. Rhapsody - U.S. RTL XL - Netherlands Slacker Radio - Canada, U.S. SnagFilms - U.S. Terra (Sunday TV) - Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Mexico The AOL On Network - Australia, Canada, Netherlands, U.K., U.S. The Weather Channel - U.S. The Whistle - U.S. TOU.TV - Canada TV3 - Spain Twitch TV - U.S. Univision - U.S. Wuaki - Spain Youzee - Spain I don't even know what half of them are, tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Well thanks for that Daft, its nice to be shown I'm wrong in such a humorous and sarcastic way, I bow to your superior wisdom ;p I was sure during the conference they said "using your smart phone or windows enabled tablet" and made the assumption that was a reference to only using Microsoft based devices, well they always say you shouldn't assume. I do want to see some more practice uses of it really - when it comes to in game uses, as i have concerns over its usability. When I'm holding a controller i need two hands to operate the buttons and sticks at the same time, so how its utilized in game could be a pain to do without pausing the game. You couldn't have an intense combat section and use smart glass to navigate menus, throw items, reload etc as it would require a third hand, or switching to one hand on the controller and phone, which limits control For example, in Mass effect 3, you couldn't be in an intense fight seen and have power control/weapon control on the smart glass and retain combat and use the glass at the same time, you'd need to pause combat (like when you use the shoulder buttons anyway) which would make smart glass redundant for it Thats where the WiiU and DS/3DS allow better control as the screen is right next to your fingers so its an easy stretch of a finger to the touch interface. This just seems a poor rip off of the WiiU - in relation to the claim to use it in game, i could only see it being used for menu's and slow paced games. The other functions seem quite good (although redundant in some instances- i wouldn't stream music to my iphone when apps and itunes can do the same) I just think too much time was spent on this "new" feature when it should have been spent on GAMES, hence the media and gamers reaction to them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 It's not exactly a list to write home about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 I was sure during the conference they said "using your smart phone or windows enabled tablet" and made the assumption that was a reference to only using Microsoft based devices, well they always say you shouldn't assume. The Windows Phone/Tablet stuff was sharing Music and Video content between devices. For example, in Mass effect 3, you couldn't be in an intense fight seen and have power control/weapon control on the smart glass and retain combat and use the glass at the same time, you'd need to pause combat (like when you use the shoulder buttons anyway) which would make smart glass redundant for it The feature they showed for Halo was a clone of the Mass Effect 3 iPad app - a database for which the data unlocks as you go through the game. For actual use in games, it probably won't be more than games like Madden which require no direct control. Halo Wars 2, perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero-of-Time Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Halo Wars 2, perhaps. Don't you tease me with such things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 E3 2013 And please welcome to the stage, head of Microsoft Press Division, Nicholas Tampakopoulos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 The Windows Phone/Tablet stuff was sharing Music and Video content between devices. The feature they showed for Halo was a clone of the Mass Effect 3 iPad app - a database for which the data unlocks as you go through the game. For actual use in games, it probably won't be more than games like Madden which require no direct control. Halo Wars 2, perhaps. Cheers Cube that answers all my questions! I must have not been listening properly at that point The control stuff seems alright but nothing special I think that really killed it for me was using your iphone/android/tablet to control IE on xbox, so were to ignore the internet app on our devices and link with an xbox to use the device as a mouse for the number one internet browser* *used to download a replacement The south park creators got it right But for the likes of Maden it makes sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Well thanks for that Daft, its nice to be shown I'm wrong in such a humorous and sarcastic way, I bow to your superior wisdom ;p Sorry, it's just the tone I use on the Other Boards. I think twats like Rez, dwarf Cookie and flameboy are used to it. E3 2013 And please welcome to the stage... I hate you. Literally my opening to that speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Sorry, it's just the tone I use on the Other Boards. I think twats like Rez, dwarf Cookie and flameboy are used to it. Its alright, i tend to read things on the internet as purely sarcasm, nothing has context so its easy to read things as aggressive when they probably aren't intended to besides i was spouting nonsense, i needed correcting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Interestingly, they never actually showed you could use Internet Explorer as a browser, just to view pages you sent to your Xbox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Interestingly, they never actually showed you could use Internet Explorer as a browser, just to view pages you sent to your Xbox. i thought the present weblinks were for time processes..... oh god if it only basically works like that what exactly is the point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwarf Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Sorry, it's just the tone I use on the Other Boards. I think twats like Rez, dwarf Cookie and flameboy are used to it. Even so, you must admit that particular effort was exceedingly twatacular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwarf Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zechs Merquise Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Edge hit the nail on the head with that one! Not a single new game announced. Just listened to Invisible Walls, they were equally unimpressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Edge hit the nail on the head with that one! Not a single new game announced. Just listened to Invisible Walls, they were equally unimpressed. - God of War Thing - LunarTron Thing - Angry Birds Thing - Matter - Splinter Cell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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