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Expendables 2


EEVILMURRAY

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Actually, not sure if you know or not, but Robert Patrick's Terminator was what Cameron initially wanted in the original at one stage. The shape-shifting type. The only problem and drawback was the special effects available at the time and the budget. He kept the idea for Terminator 2 and the rest is history.

 

Now you've mentioned it does ring a bell..glad they didn't otherwise we would be without that iconic design.

 

I remember reading that Arnie was originally cast as Kyle Reese in T1 but when they realized just how imposing he was, they convinced him to play the Terminator.

 

Also I think Arnie should make many more action films. The way he acts (or doesn't) just make all his films awesome. Generally I prefer the Arnie and Stallone type of action hero over any of the "modern" ones.

 

Yes...apparently he wasn't sure about being a villian so early in his career./

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QFT.

 

Modern action heroes are all touchy-feely-introspective-types who agonise over everything and whether or not it's responsible to let love into their life because they might die at any time and their daddy ran away when they were five and their mummy was all distant and mean and became a lesbian so he thinks that all the girls will eventually turn against him and he doesn't want to reveal the sensitive poetic soul behind the M16...

 

...JUST BLOW SHIT UP, GODAMMIT.

 

Jason Statham is a modern action hero who doesn't fuck around! Crank 1 & 2 are great examples of a modern action film! (even better if watched whilst drunk, they're hilarious!).

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Jason Statham is a modern action hero who doesn't fuck around! Crank 1 & 2 are great examples of a modern action film! (even better if watched whilst drunk, they're hilarious!).

 

I keep thinking about watching them they are on Netflix. That good?

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Jason Statham is a modern action hero who doesn't fuck around! Crank 1 & 2 are great examples of a modern action film! (even better if watched whilst drunk, they're hilarious!).

 

Precisely why the Expendables was so awesome! These men didn't solve their problems by getting all moody and junk, solutions included, but were not limited to:

 

*kicking people in the face

 

*shooting people

 

*hitting people

 

*exploding people

 

*exploding things

 

*exploding people AND things

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I keep seeing this on the first page and keep wondering whether it's just here for the purpose of what I imagine would be an intelligent discourse bashing this shit for existing. Instead it's a bunch of nerds pouring weird perhaps-ironic-but-probably-not adulation over an amalgamation of embarrassing hollywood has beens trying to cop enough chedder to keep their growth hormone suppliers paid off.

 

Fuck you guys, you're the reason rectal leakage like this gets funded.

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What, you wouldn't pay to watch Battleship, the intense science fiction film based on a childrens board game? Well sir, evidently you need to sort your shit out.

 

I'd much rather spend my time and money on an incredible and unique first person shooter video game based on an intense science fiction film based on a childrens board game.

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Well of course, you would expect any fan of such a diverse and profound subject matter to want to experience it across multiple media. I for one await the online webcomic and slash fiction created by the fan community of the incredible and unique first person shooter video game based on an intense science fiction film based on a childrens board game of which you speak.

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Why stop there? I forsee a multitude of merchandising opportunities involving the invariably lucrative yet artistically meritorious intellectual property known as "The Expendables." Truly, there being nothing more expendable than a nut busted in front of a monitor displaying a badly photoshopped nude of the aptly named Charisma Carpenter - one of the many classy babes that will adorn "The Expendables" advertisements on bus shelters across the country - I imagine a whole line of Expendables branded fleshlites, especially designed for the average internet dwelling superfan of wide body and tiny member to be able to plough in full view of the Expendables branded holographic art book out now! Say hello to your monster while sobbing into the holographically projected knockers of badly spray tanned hollywood starlets today!

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Why stop there? I forsee a multitude of merchandising opportunities involving the invariably lucrative yet artistically meritorious intellectual property known as "The Expendables." Truly, there being nothing more expendable than a nut busted in front of a monitor displaying a badly photoshopped nude of the aptly named Charisma Carpenter - one of the many classy babes that will adorn "The Expendables" advertisements on bus shelters across the country - I imagine a whole line of Expendables branded fleshlites, especially designed for the average internet dwelling superfan of wide body and tiny member to be able to plough in full view of the Expendables branded holographic art book out now! Say hello to your monster while sobbing into the holographically projected knockers of badly spray tanned hollywood starlets today!

 

As much as I would love to rub myself up and down over Charisma Carpenter, she's in her 40s now, so doesn't really qualify as a "starlet" any more. :/

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Yes, clearly that was the real flaw with that paragraph.

 

 

Pretty much didn't read the rest of it, I skipped over it to the one bit I found interesting, couldn't find that and eyes fell on "Charisma Carpenter" and I recalled the time some friends and I made a list of terrible things we wanted to do to the girls from Buffy.

 

As I recall, elbows featured a great deal in the reckoning.

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