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Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.


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Posted

@Serebii, I've reviewed your situation and I've come up with an option that I'm pretty sure we're alllll thinking about but are too afraid to bring it up.

 

Friends. With. Benefits.

 

What say you, Serebrah? Worth a squirt?

Posted

Just to check, Serebii is turning down the opportunity of a date because the girl doesn't want kids?..

 

Ban him from the thread, I can't be hearing dry spell bollocks when he's thinking that far ahead. Next you'll be telling us she doesn't want to get a mortgage or plan her funeral after the first time she's met your parents.

Posted
@Serebii, I've reviewed your situation and I've come up with an option that I'm pretty sure we're alllll thinking about but are too afraid to bring it up.

 

Friends. With. Benefits.

 

What say you, Serebrah? Worth a squirt?

 

What say you, Serebrah? Worth a squirt?

 

Serebrah?

 

SEREBRAH?!

 

So, Serebrah?

Posted (edited)
Just to check, Serebii is turning down the opportunity of a date because the girl doesn't want kids?..

 

Ban him from the thread, I can't be hearing dry spell bollocks when he's thinking that far ahead. Next you'll be telling us she doesn't want to get a mortgage or plan her funeral after the first time she's met your parents.

 

This isn't just a random girl I met on a night out.

 

This is a close friend I've known for years with whom I completely connect. It is not absurd to think about the potential long-term here.

 

You'd do the same and you know it.

 

@Serebii, I've reviewed your situation and I've come up with an option that I'm pretty sure we're alllll thinking about but are too afraid to bring it up.

 

Friends. With. Benefits.

 

What say you, Serebrah? Worth a squirt?

It's not what either of us want

Edited by Serebii
Automerged Doublepost
Posted
This isn't just a random girl I met on a night out.

 

This is a close friend I've known for years with whom I completely connect. It is not absurd to think about the potential long-term here.

 

You'd do the same and you know it.

 

I don't know what you know. All I know is, if I'd been posting on a website about how lonely I was for several years. I'd at least go on a date with a girl that showed interest in me (especially if she was someone I already knew and liked).

Posted (edited)
I don't know what you know. All I know is, if I'd been posting on a website about how lonely I was for several years. I'd at least go on a date with a girl that showed interest in me (especially if she was someone I already knew and liked).

Even if you knew it was doomed to fail?

 

Is it not best to nip it in the bud now rather than in 6 months, a year, 5 years, when both parties are more emotionally invested, making the inevitable even more brutal?

Edited by Serebii
Posted

You're assuming you can read the future in either case.

 

It could be you go on a few dates and you realise actually the friendship is what you want and it becomes a moot point. Or you could find yourselves in different positions in ten years time anyway that the current difference in opinion is moot.

 

By all means, if you think it would end badly don't pursue it, but don't choose not to pursue it because you're projecting your current feelings and desires into the future and assume it will be exactly the same then as it is now.

Posted

Personally, I don't think there's such a thing as "doomed to fail" when it comes to relationships.

 

People change, people can change. DON'T BELIEVE WHAT DR HOUSE SAYS.

 

The lady wants to go abroad for 3-6 months sometime in the next 1 or 2 years.

I'd assume you'd say the relationship I'm currently in is doomed to fail, because I will never ever do a long-distance-thing again. I'm set on that after thinking about it/after my experiences.

 

However, what if I change? What if, in a year's time I can say: "Hey, if we can make these months apart work, then nothing can stop us. Let's try it at least."

If I had broken up because of my current stance on long-distance and later I realized that I had changed, I would've probably missed out on the most wonderful woman I have ever met and on the best time I've ever had with another human being.

 

I did, however, tell her how I feel about the situation. I told her that I don't know what will happen when she decides to move away for some time. She deserves to know.

 

 

I'm not trying to convince you or make you dive into the relationship. I'm just saying that taking a risk may in the end be worth it. And even if it ends, the time until that will most definitely be amazing.

 

Why not give it a go? Take it slow. Enjoy the time. Talk about how you feel about kids and talk about whether you could give it a chance.

Posted
The age gap really doesn't bother me too much/I don't notice. Though we were watching Harry Potter and I referenced Arthur Weasley being from The Fast Show and she had no clue what I was on about :p!
In her defence the first Harry Potter book came out in 1997, she hadn't even been born!
Posted
In her defence the first Harry Potter book came out in 1997, she hadn't even been born!

 

Yeah we already had that awkward conversation too, though she had actually been born, I think! She read them quite young too iirc, so by the 4th or 5th book was probably on track with them coming out etc. She's a massive potter fan, which I think is part of how I accidentally charmed her :p Not that any of that actually changes the weirdness of it - but as I said I'm not going to dwell on that :p

Posted
Yeah expiration dating ain't too bad, I've done it before.

 

I am tempted to ask my friend for her friend's number (or to give her mine, or whatever so I can contact her). She's moving to London in September, and I'm mainly after something long-term.

Posted
I am tempted to ask my friend for her friend's number (or to give her mine, or whatever so I can contact her). She's moving to London in September, and I'm mainly after something long-term.

 

I think as long as you're honest and upfront (with her and yourself) it could be worth pursuing.

 

Look at it this way - you'll have a few months together with someone, get to know them better, do things together etc. At the end of it you may go different ways but you'll have enjoyed the period in between and then you can on occasion go down, she can come back etc even just as friends.

Posted
The Fast Show and she had no clue what I was on about :p!

 

Call it off now. You don't need that sort of negativity in your life!

 

The real test would be to watch The Fast Show with her. If she doesn't laugh once then walk away.

Posted

 

The real test would be to watch The Fast Show with her. If she doesn't laugh once then walk away.

 

Like this:

 

Posted
Call it off now. You don't need that sort of negativity in your life!

 

The real test would be to watch The Fast Show with her. If she doesn't laugh once then walk away.

 

Sadly I have to admit I wasn't actually much into the Fast Show, only really coming across it when it was nearing the end of its run. Back in those days there was none of this new fangled technology to catch up on that shit short of dropping top dime on a VHS or DVD something, and that was a heavenly criteria that it never met.

 

Also I don't think she'll find it funny. So I'm making excuses. I really want to watch it now, actually, if just to see how it's aged.

 

I will also be hard-pushed to walk away, as I'd likely be in my own house and it would really take the weight out of the gesture. Or actually, quite possibly make it.

Posted (edited)

Glad it's going well @Rummy, sounds like you've got a nice thing going there :)

 

With the pop culture stuff, for me I don't think it's anything to hold back a relationship, if anything I think it can be an advantage as you'll introduce each other to things that you may not have looked at otherwise - nothing wrong with broadening your horizons. At the very least, it's something you can laugh about.

 

As you said, the family side of things is the more awkward side, but as long as you're happy and she's happy, and they're respectable people and you build up trust with them so they don't just think you're taking advantage of the girl, all should be fine. You say you're nervous of certain people/how they'd react, but if they've known you for a long time they may actually see it as a positive as they know you're a good guy so can trust the girl with you.

 

Saying that, I don't know how my friend would react if she found out that I'd slept with her daughter! She knows that we hang out together alone when I'm down but I'm not sure if she would ever suspect anything more had happened!

Edited by Mr-Paul
Posted
Even if you knew it was doomed to fail?

 

Is it not best to nip it in the bud now rather than in 6 months, a year, 5 years, when both parties are more emotionally invested, making the inevitable even more brutal?

 

It's a date, you aren't marrying her..

Posted
Even if you knew it was doomed to fail?

 

Is it not best to nip it in the bud now rather than in 6 months, a year, 5 years, when both parties are more emotionally invested, making the inevitable even more brutal?

 

Just have no strings fun for a bit if that is what both of you want. Never know you might finally get your end away.

Posted

Yeah but is it worth 'getting your end away' with a long time friend? Assuming it goes no where, you've then got an awkward situation with her for the rest of your life.

Posted

Got blocked by a tinder match after sending her a friend request after speaking to her for well over a month , said it made her feel uncomfortable ... This year is going awfully .

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