flameboy Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Read this article and got me thinking: http://www.destructoid.com/what-will-be-the-last-game-you-ever-play--167001.phtml Last summer I received some news unlike any I had ever experienced before. A friend of mine -- a fellow student, scientist, gamer -- took his own life. The long delay between attending his memorial service and writing this piece today isn't for lack of thought about it. He still shows up in my dreams, at which point the rational part of my brain says, "This isn't real. He's gone." But when I wake up, I wish I could turn that part off for a bit just to enjoy a little more time spent with him, if only in my dreams. No, I certainly haven't forgotten about him; it's just taken this long to start to come to terms with it all. We weren't even the best of friends. I taught a laboratory course with him, I played soccer with him, and I had him over to my apartment a couple of times to play Rock Band, but we certainly could have spent more time together. I often wonder if I would have been able to pick up on any of his personal issues, or if I could have done something to prevent his decision to end his own existence, were we closer friends. But of course, this line of thinking isn't helpful for anything. All I can do now is hope to hang onto the good memories I have of him. I lent him my copy of The Orange Box, since he wanted to try out Portal, but didn't particularly care about any of the rest of it. He kept telling me he'd pay me back by lending me his copy of Mass Effect someday. Another time, I invited several of my fellow graduate students over to my place for drinks and games. He showed up with his laptop, and he proceeded to use my Wi-Fi to play World of Warcraft. Everybody else eventually coerced him into singing "Still Alive," which is the worst/funniest rendition I've heard of the song to this day. The more I thought about the fun memories of him that I have, the more I thought, "we sure do live in some strange times." Should my memory ever fail, there are persistent records of all occurrences, accessible to everybody on the Internet. If I need to be reminded what he looked like, there are photos on Facebook. If I can't remember what he sounded like, there are videos on YouTube. If I want to read about the research he did, I can search his name on SciFinder. And if I have an inexplicable urge to analyze his gaming habits, I can always check his Gamercard. Clearly, he was more of a PC gamer than a console gamer, logging only nine unique 360 games over the course of about two years. Mass Effect, the game he repeatedly tried to get me to play, he hadn't touched since December of 2007. Scrolling up a bit, he has The Orange Box, last played in May of 2008. As far as I know, it's the only existing record that I had made any measurable mark on his life. At the top of the list, there is Dead or Alive 4. Last played on Friday, July 10th, 2009. It will always be the last game he ever played on his 360. Indeed, the entire page will remain frozen in this state for who-knows-how-long, until Microsoft decides an appropriate amount of time has passed to consider his account defunct. It fascinates me and makes me sick to my stomach at the same time. It's a tired cliché that gamers don't understand the reality of life and death. "In life, there is no reset button," or "in this game, you only get one life." That's all bullcrap. I will never fully understand my late friend's motives, but I do know that he knew what he was doing. He knew that it's a decision that, once effected, cannot be undone. And he must have considered the anguish he'd cause his friends afterward. For that, I can never forgive him. But along with the pain he left me with, he led me to some introspection. If I were to die tonight, would I be content with the mark I've left on the world? Have I accomplished what I wanted to at my age? Have I eaten enough food, have I made enough love, have I played enough games, have I touched enough people? Would my persistent digital footprint suffice? And if not, what can I do to make it so? What will be the last game I ever put on my Gamercard? Will it be great, mediocre, or terrible? Will I even finish it? I can't know the answer to most of these questions, but you may notice that I have finally begun playing Mass Effect. Though I will never get a chance to discuss it with him like he wanted, it is the one final thing I feel I must do to pay my respects. So long. Worth a reading.
Happenstance Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 No idea what my last game will be (If I had a choice it would probably be Super Mario Bros on my NES) but that was a good article, actually got me a bit sad at the end when he said he was now playing Mass Effect.
Goafer Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I think I'll still be trying to get QWOP over that fucking hurdle the day I die.
Pancake Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I hope i'm playing Mario, and die IRL at the exact same moment i get hit, so i get the Mario death sound effect.
Oxigen_Waste Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Shadow Of The Colossus. Just because it's the best game I've ever played, even if it isn't my favourite.
Jimbob Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I hope i'm playing Mario, and die IRL at the exact same moment i get hit, so i get the Mario death sound effect. That would be awesome. I havn't put much thought into this, but i wouldn't mind having either Ocarina of Time or Super Mario World as potential "final" games to play, just to be different.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 If the thing I worry about when I'm about to die is what the last game I've played is, I'd say that's a pretty good indicator that I'm satisfied with how I lived the rest of my life.
Retro_Link Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Wow, isn't this depressing! But it would have to be Ocarina of Time for me! I hope i'm playing Mario, and die IRL at the exact same moment i get hit, so i get the Mario death sound effect. Audio Alternatively... Audio
Pancake Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Wow, isn't this depressing! But it would have to be Ocarina of Time for me! Audio Alternatively... Audio I'd only be happy if it was the first one (yes i can be happy and dead simultaneously!) :p
Oxigen_Waste Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 that super meat boy face on your gamercard sig really complemented that post well.
Oxigen_Waste Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I'm gonna enjoy watching him get a thanks from each of us pretentious bastards, not for the post, but just because we're signaling how we know what it is (because we're so knowledgeable and stuff).
dwarf Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I like how people will thank your post because you acknowledged it and totally broke the conventions. (this could become a circular thing)
Paj! Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I'm gonna enjoy watching him get a thanks from each of us pretentious bastards, not for the post, but just because we're signaling how we know what it is (because we're so knowledgeable and stuff). Of course, I expected it.
darksnowman Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Was the Destructoid article a joke piece or what? I hope it is cos alot of the responses here are pretty tasteless otherwise.
Happenstance Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Was the Destructoid article a joke piece or what? I hope it is cos alot of the responses here are pretty tasteless otherwise. Seemed real to me, along with the comments after the actual article commending it
The Bard Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I'll probably die in my decrepit old age trying to pull of a low-med kick into shoryuken/ super combo in Street Fighter 3: Third Strike
Recommended Posts