Pit-Jr Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 4 squares? I use about 20 just lining the toilet seat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolness Bears Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 HOLD IT IN. explode when you get back. or grow a pair and take as much as you like, nothing wrong with taking a hefty dump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 If you buy quality toilet paper than 2 squares is more than enough! Maybe 3 if it's a messy one. After the first few wipes you can go down to 1 square if you're feeling adventurous. Poor quality paper? 3 squares to start, going down to 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I've never took a dump at a stranger's or a friend's house or even worse, in a public toilet! Wait until you get home and unleash then on the comfort of your own bog. As for the toilet paper thing, who cares? Just don't let the toilet paper tear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 If you buy quality toilet paper than 2 squares is more than enough! Maybe 3 if it's a messy one. After the first few wipes you can go down to 1 square if you're feeling adventurous. Poor quality paper? 3 squares to start, going down to 2. Seriously, how clean is you people's poo? Three squares? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Seriously, how clean is you people's poo? Three squares? Have a good diet, high in fibre and you'll need less. If you're really lucky you'll be able to get a fabled "nae wiper". This special occurrences happen very rarely and you know it as soon as it happens. A true man won't even take a "just in case" wipe and just walk straight out knowing he is as clean as a whistle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Have a good diet, high in fibre and you'll need less. If you're really lucky you'll be able to get a fabled "nae wiper". This special occurrences happen very rarely and you know it as soon as it happens. A true man won't even take a "just in case" wipe and just walk straight out knowing he is as clean as a whistle. I know those, though they're unfortunately rare. What types of food contain high fibre? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I took a dump at a friends house once. Had to put it back though, as it was making my pocket all dirty. Seriously, how clean is you people's poo? Three squares? Yeah what the fuck is this shit. (Literally) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mad Monkey Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 If you're really lucky you'll be able to get a fabled "nae wiper". This special occurrences happen very rarely and you know it as soon as it happens. A true man won't even take a "just in case" wipe and just walk straight out knowing he is as clean as a whistle. For true man read dirty bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 If you're really lucky you'll be able to get a fabled "nae wiper". This special occurrences happen very rarely and you know it as soon as it happens. A true man won't even take a "just in case" wipe and just walk straight out knowing he is as clean as a whistle. This is the funniest thing I have read in absolutely ages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Demolition Man: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it. Future Bitch Cop: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells! *Snigger* I can see how that could be confusing. Demolition Man: Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball breaking, duck fucking pain in the ass. So much for the seashells. See you in a few minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 <3 Daft. I love that film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 "Just shit it on 'em. Putchyo numba two's in the air if you did it on 'em." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 The people whom I know don't measure their toiler roll prior and post visits to the toilet. So until I hear some whining through the network I'm going to take whatever's needed to get the job done. Future Bitch Cop: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells! *Snigger* I can see how that could be confusing. A quality reference, but it would've been even better if you had Rob Schneider with his words. How can you wipe your arse with 1 or even 2 sheets? You can, it just wouldn't be a complete job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heroicjanitor Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 This thread reminds me of a funny story about one of my little brother's friends a few years ago. There was no toilet paper in there when he went in, and apparently he thought it was a great idea to wipe his arse on the towel and leave quickly. We discovered what happened when my dad had finished showering, and roared "DIRTY BASTARD!" He had to take another shower too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diageo Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 This thread reminds me of a funny story about one of my little brother's friends a few years ago. There was no toilet paper in there when he went in, and apparently he thought it was a great idea to wipe his arse on the towel and leave quickly. We discovered what happened when my dad had finished showering, and roared "DIRTY BASTARD!" He had to take another shower too And now the thread is actually funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 *ahem* I made the Demolition Man reference on the last page... *ahem* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokemonCraft Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 i belive i really use a lot being clean is so important for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 No shit. lol *ahem* I made the Demolition Man reference on the last page... *ahem* Mine was prettier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Mine was prettier. Mine was less "try hard". And I'm fairly certain it had a vintage feel too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Mine was try hard in an ironic way. Also, I took those screenshots with my camera phone from my CRTV with a half chewed VHS of Demolition Man I shoplifted from a charity shop while I was high on meow meow (before it went mainstream). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Mine was try hard in an ironic way. Also, I took those screenshots with my camera phone from my CRTV with a half chewed VHS of Demolition Man I shoplifted from a charity shop while I was high on meow meow (before it went mainstream). Explaining the process is so try hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I was going to post it on my blog anyway. My blog is about the big toe on my left foot. You wouldn't understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolan Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 It's pretty try hard to try and not look like try hards to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mad Monkey Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 It's pretty try hard to try and not look like try hards to each other. When I was little I remember calling taking a shit a 'try hard' thinking it was all one word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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