Would You Walk By On The Other Side?

[Rummy]

Like the Hymn! Don't worry, this isn't a God or religion related thread, I just wanted to use the line from the Hymn(quite relevant to the topic though, maybe) as I thought it was a good one. This idea's been knocking around in my head since a week or two ago, I kept meaning to post it as I see more and more about knife crime and stabbings in the news over here, and so now I finally am whilst I await the arrival of my friend. I was gonna post it in Aimless's niceness thread too, as I thought it was alot of the same thing, but then decided I'd give it its own.

 

Basically, I'm curious as to what you would do if you saw two people in an argument, or a fight, or calling for help, or just looking like they need help? Would you walk on by, or would you get involved and do something? Break up the fight? Help protect the person in need?

Are you the sort of person who would do something, or would you stand by and wait for someone else to? I mean, it's not YOUR problem right, why should YOU get involved?

Usually when I ask the question, people say it depends on the circumstances, if you're gonna say that too, what circumstances? What'd you do in different circumstances and situations?

 

 

Myself, personally? I've always been of the opinion that I'd so something, depending on circumstances. Were it two guys having a heated argument, and a two way thing and both look like they can handle themselves, I'd probably not step in until it came to serious blows, and maybe not even then. Depending who I'm with, if I'm with anyone, I think I'd more likely do something if I had my friends with me. Were it an unbalanced fight, were it looking unprovoked and just like someone was being a bully, were it a guy knocking a girl about, I've been of the opinion I'd do something. I'm more spurred on to think I would because I know of the phenomenon of diffusion of responsibility that came to light after the case of Kitty Genovese but since believed myself to be above it. I'll admit, before this post, I was misinformed as to the actual details surrounding her case, but I know the effect still exists regardless. I can understand it to an extent though, but I think it's a wrong way to behave.

I'd stand up and get involved because I believe it's the right thing to do, because I expect it. Of course, it's much easier to say you will when you're not in the situation, for things to be different when you're actually in the situation. So I'm wondering, what do you guys think you'd do?

[Gizmo]

I like to think I'd be the guy who chased the one who stole a womans purse, but I'm not sure I'd break up a knife fight between two blokes.

[The fish]

If it's two people fighting who I judge to both be knife-happy, and willing to both stab me if I intervene (or just hit me, for that matter), then I'd leave it. However, in the case of an attack, a mugging, or two kids fighting (and if I reckon they aren't armed) I'd probably try and do something.

[RoadKill]

I wish I was a superhero, but I'm a scrawny dude who'd just end up getting hurt, adding to the injury count and NHS bills (that is to say if the situation was dangerous)

[EEVILMURRAY]

If I had nothing to do with it. I would walk on by.

 

However in some form of heated debate between a group of friends and I and some random strangers [saying Shabba was racist apparently] One of my gringos and one of theirs started fighting. I broke it up, and got a punch in the face for my troubles.

[Slaggis]

If I had nothing to do with it. I would walk on by.

 

So you wouldn't even call for help then? How pleasent. To be frank, it's people with that kind of opinion that I loathe. Surely you could attract the attention of others who may be willing to at least try and help rather than "walk on by"?

 

When I was being assulted last year, a 6th form girl walked straight past me whilst I was on the floor being kicked in the face. She did nothing, and didn't even say anything when she arrived at college. Then a guy from 6th form walked by, said something and almost got a punch for his troubles. But if he hadn't of done that, I'd of probably been in a lot worse shape than I already was. He had no idea if the guy doing it had a knife or not, but he still helped.

 

I'd definitely stop, or at least run/attract attention of others around for help because I know what it's like to see someone walk past as if they couldn't give a toss.

[Jimbob]

It would depend if it was a knife fight or not, if it was completely unarmed then i would try and intervene if possible without getting hurt myself, which in most cases i don't get hurt. I think its only right to do so, may prevent the person who is doing the attack from doing it again.

[Shino]

I did it one time, I was at the bus station and one guy from my class which I didn't talk much to but had somewhat an implying friendship, came to me really stressed and you could see he was kinda scared, and said he had someone after him, instants later the bully from our school came to us with two other guys and started to pick him up, supposedly to take him to a less public place where he would be beaten. But it was then I made pretty clear he wouldn't be going anywhere while I was there, to be honest I'm a pretty geeky guy but they didn't know that, and as it always happens with this kind of stuff its all about ego.

 

It depends on the situation, but usually I stand up for other more than I do for myself. If it was two guys in a normal fight, I'd probably do nothing, if it was something worse I like to think I would at least shout something at them or call the police.

[Wesley]

I came out of the cinema yesterday saw two people out of a group arguing, swearing constantly like it's going out of fashion. One of the lads pushed the other into the big cinema windows, then some girl stormed off and someone threw some piece of plastic on the floor and smahed it.

 

Now, there were around 10 people in total. What use could I be? So I didn't do anything. But the girl the walked off, then stopped a bit further up and was crying. So obviously, you can do something, just asking if she's okay.

 

So I think it's all about what you can do and realising if it'll make anything better.

[Guest bluey]

when i was about 13 i remember sitting on the swings talking with my boyfriend at the time (we'll call him "joe"*)... this younger kid (maybe 11?) was sat on the swing set too and these other kids came up to him... i remember thinking it was a REALLY stereotypical set of bullies... the small "compensating for something" type leader with his two "heavies". they started bothering this kid and shoving him around... then the leader picked up a handful of dirt and told the kid to eat it.

 

i remember the feeling of dread and thinking "god i've got to do something!" i felt really panicky and looked to joe for some help, but was so disappointed to find him intently staring at the floor ignoring the situation. i went to stand up but joe grabbed my hand and held it in place on the swing's rope... i dont know what i'd have done if i HAD stood up - i was so scared - but apparently my incessant EVIL STARE freaked the guys out enough and they wandered off. when they'd gone i asked the kid if he was ok... he just looked at me sadly and didnt say anything. i took it as a "no."

 

to this day i feel guilty for not standing up... so i decided that if someone needed standing up for in the future, i'd do everything i could - because i never want to feel that guilt again.

 

how selfish am i?!! haha.

i know how idealist it sounds to say that i'd help if it was the right thing to do - and i really hope i would try my best to help someone who needed it even if it meant putting myself in danger... i think i'd rather get hurt than spend the rest of my life thinking about how i didnt even try to help.

 

*because that was his name..

[D_prOdigy]

when i was about 13 i remember sitting on the swings talking with my boyfriend at the time (we'll call him "joe"*)... this younger kid (maybe 11?) was sat on the swing set too and these other kids came up to him... i remember thinking it was a REALLY stereotypical set of bullies... the small "compensating for something" type leader with his two "heavies". they started bothering this kid and shoving him around... then the leader picked up a handful of dirt and told the kid to eat it.

 

i remember the feeling of dread and thinking "god i've got to do something!" i felt really panicky and looked to joe for some help, but was so disappointed to find him intently staring at the floor ignoring the situation. i went to stand up but joe grabbed my hand and held it in place on the swing's rope... i dont know what i'd have done if i HAD stood up - i was so scared - but apparently my incessant EVIL STARE freaked the guys out enough and they wandered off. when they'd gone i asked the kid if he was ok... he just looked at me sadly and didnt say anything. i took it as a "no."

 

to this day i feel guilty for not standing up... so i decided that if someone needed standing up for in the future, i'd do everything i could - because i never want to feel that guilt again.

 

how selfish am i?!! haha.

i know how idealist it sounds to say that i'd help if it was the right thing to do - and i really hope i would try my best to help someone who needed it even if it meant putting myself in danger... i think i'd rather get hurt than spend the rest of my life thinking about how i didnt even try to help.

 

*because that was his name..

 

I can see how this "Joe" became an ex.

[Strider]

Depending on the situation i would 'Walk By On The Other Side'. For example if there was bloke vs bloke, women vs women, big group, or possible chance of injury then i'd walk on by. However if it was women vs man, majorly unfare odds or someone asking for help then i would more than likely assist.

 

My brother got beat up on his 13th birthday by an 18 year old, reason being he was 'looking at him funny', that's right the usual chav excuse for a fight. I was 10 at the time and my spidey sense had been tingling about 10 minutes before it kicked off, so i was equipped with a rock in my pocket. Once the guy started throwing the punches around i couldn't move, i just stood there and watched while my brother took several punches to the face. Looking back i can't really see what i could have done, a 10 year old against an 18 year old is slightly one sided. The guy then ran off and i was fuming, i even ran up to the group the 18 year old guy was with and demanded his name, yet they wouldn't give it to me. Twats. Anyway back to the point, in cases such as that i would interfere.

[Coolness Bears]

I've faced a situation where I've had to do something before and I just stood there completely frozen unable to move until someone chucked a bottle of water all over me!

 

It was at this point that I did get help.

 

If it was a crime/fight I was witnessing I would most defiantely call the police but would not get involved as I'd be powerless to do anything.

 

I'm too much of a coward!

[EEVILMURRAY]

So you wouldn't even call for help then? How pleasent. To be frank, it's people with that kind of opinion that I loathe. Surely you could attract the attention of others who may be willing to at least try and help rather than "walk on by"?

I guess it would depend on the situation, I can't say I've been in such a random situation.

[LegoMan1031]

I would always do something if i could help.

 

This is mainly through the job i do, i am a security officer on a shopping centre so i kinda get paid to interveen but the level i get involved does depend on circumstances. If it is some kind of arguement i tend to just walk over and ask if everything was ok, they normally move on and i would get the CCTV operator to monitor the situation. If its a fight myself and colleagues normally get in the middle of it and seperate them and would make sure the police were called.

 

If weapons were involved it would be a 999 call and attempt to help the situation by gettting over members of the public away from the situation. I would not challenge someone with a knife. If i was threatened with a needle or knife and go for there pocket i would literally throw them to the floor and hold there arms and legs apart, with my colleagues assisting obviously and get the police involved.

 

I have also had the bad side of my attitude though. A male was shouting at a female and i walked over (i knew the female through my old job and i new the male as one of the local shoplifters). The male refused to stop shouting and basically turned on me grabbed me and assaulted me. There was a big crowd watching but no-one helped me out, eventually my colleagues came to my aid and got this male off the shopping centre.

[Wesley]

I'd definately help someone who was beat to the floor and got a kicking though.

 

Being someone who was in that situation and had no one help. I definately would.

[The fish]

I've broken up a couple of petty fights in my school, often getting attacked by one of the combatants for doing so - you'd be surprised how much Tae Kwon Do you'll remember when it comes to it regardless of how long it's been since you last practised it. As such, I found it's strangely satisfying to block a genuinely malicious strike.

[nightwolf]

So you wouldn't even call for help then? How pleasent. To be frank, it's people with that kind of opinion that I loathe. Surely you could attract the attention of others who may be willing to at least try and help rather than "walk on by"?

 

 

It's an honest opinion and he shouldn't be shouted at for telling the truth, not everybody has been in the same situation as you nor understands the same things as you do.

 

I think I would more than likely stop and help, I'm not a strong person in any sense, but the amount of times I've actually been in trouble and somebody has just asked if I'm ok.

 

I don't tend to help guys as often as I should, guys bicker alot and there's usually a girl involved and I usually tut and walk off, that being said it never seems to resulted in to anything physical just abuse from one side to the other.

 

That being said I wouldn't go and seperate two girls bickering either, unless it became physical contact. If I didn't have the ''guts'' to go and seperate them I would at least inform somebody (the places I go, such as manchester there's always somebody like police around).

[Aimless]

If I didn't stop I'd deserve to be beaten up anyway.

 

Thing is, whilst I'd certainly hope I would take action, you don't really know how you'll react until it happens.

[Rummy]

I came out of the cinema yesterday saw two people out of a group arguing, swearing constantly like it's going out of fashion. One of the lads pushed the other into the big cinema windows, then some girl stormed off and someone threw some piece of plastic on the floor and smahed it.

 

Now, there were around 10 people in total. What use could I be? So I didn't do anything. But the girl the walked off, then stopped a bit further up and was crying. So obviously, you can do something, just asking if she's okay.

 

So I think it's all about what you can do and realising if it'll make anything better.

 

And did you ask if she was ok?

 

when i was about 13 i remember sitting on the swings talking with my boyfriend at the time (we'll call him "joe"*)... this younger kid (maybe 11?) was sat on the swing set too and these other kids came up to him... i remember thinking it was a REALLY stereotypical set of bullies... the small "compensating for something" type leader with his two "heavies". they started bothering this kid and shoving him around... then the leader picked up a handful of dirt and told the kid to eat it.

 

i remember the feeling of dread and thinking "god i've got to do something!" i felt really panicky and looked to joe for some help, but was so disappointed to find him intently staring at the floor ignoring the situation. i went to stand up but joe grabbed my hand and held it in place on the swing's rope... i dont know what i'd have done if i HAD stood up - i was so scared - but apparently my incessant EVIL STARE freaked the guys out enough and they wandered off. when they'd gone i asked the kid if he was ok... he just looked at me sadly and didnt say anything. i took it as a "no."

 

to this day i feel guilty for not standing up... so i decided that if someone needed standing up for in the future, i'd do everything i could - because i never want to feel that guilt again.

 

how selfish am i?!! haha.

i know how idealist it sounds to say that i'd help if it was the right thing to do - and i really hope i would try my best to help someone who needed it even if it meant putting myself in danger... i think i'd rather get hurt than spend the rest of my life thinking about how i didnt even try to help.

 

*because that was his name..

 

You my dear, are an awesome person. You were going to stand up! I can't believe what a prick your bf was to have stopped you, that is seriously shocking. I think the world needs more people like you.

 

So what if you guys were in a situation where something was blatently going on, unbalanced or unprovoked, and there were lots of other people around clearly aware of what was happening, yet doing nothing? Do you still think you'd stand up and do something?

[Jamba]

A lot of people seem to think that defending someone or breaking up a situation involves an aggressive response. Personally, I try and diffuse situations rather than physically defend one party.

 

Its much harder for people to have a fight when they know that you're not on anybodies side. So stupid though, because if everyone else wasn't so damn apathetic about their own society then we wouldn't have to worry so much about going it alone to help others out. It's our joint responsibility to remind people that physical violence and bullying is totally unacceptable.

[Iun]

Getting involved in some else's fight was what got me stabbed years ago. But I'd do it again if I had to. It'll probably get me killed one day, but I could not live with myself if I walked on by.

 

Here in China, you see a lot of street theatre, the key is judging what is worth getting involved in and what is just a spat over nothing.

 

I remember one day though -and I'll always remember it: a guy threw some rubbish on the floor, I told him to pick it up, he told me to "make him" I stuffed it down his shirt. H dropped it again and walked off. I wanted to hit him...

 

...but I was buying a 360 that day and I had a week off to play it,so I didn't want to spend the next few days in the police station. I feel like a coward.

[Charlie]

There have actually been a few occaisions where I've broken up a fight. At one of the discos I was organising for a few 13 year old kids came in through the fire exit, started hassling everyone so I grabbed them and took them out to the police.

 

Another time 2 wee kids (probably 11 or 12) were firing a BB gun at random people on the street, not a very powerful one at all, I took a BB to the face whilst walking up to them, grabbed the gun from them when Iw as talking to them and advised them to move on.

 

Beginning of this year I was in McDonalds with afriend and 2 guys started fighting, they were around our age or older and my friend and I both decided it wasn't worth getting involved as we would just take a punch for our troubles.

 

And finally, driving into town yesterday some wee ned was spray painting something onto a billboard, I slowed down as there was no traffic, yelled at him and he ran off. I felt like such a hero.