Iun

Precisely, and +1 internets for you. Thinking back, I can't remember much of the time since our marriage when I've been amazingly happy - the entirety of 2010 was spent working 72 hours a week and then spending Sunday on furniture shopping. The first four months of 2011 were pretty much work as well. Now I've broken that cycle, I've been poverty stricken (hyperbole) and still miserable. It was supposed to be a relief. And you, you handsome little slag, get that peachy little bum of yours to China, you can be the latest Rice Queen on the scene. Besides, Gay Pride starts this weekend.

Well, the thrust of what she said was ... Nothing. She misses me, and I do miss her. She's unwilling to compromise on the house, but will give me back my financial "independence" such as it is. Two out of three is an improvement. We are going to have dinner tomorrow, at the house. We will see how that goes. I'm not sure if it's wise, but I'm kinda sick of instant noodles and pineapple for dinner. Living in this grubby little motel has made me appreciate the house more.

It could be "better the devil you know" but I hate this feeling of hurting her. I know she's sitting at home, alone and crying. I wish she could have changed.

So, on Saturday, I finally got the courage to up and walk out! But ever since then I've been feeling I've made a big mistake: I sit in the grubby hotel room thinking about her, unhappy, and I cry. I think about never seeing her again - truly NEVER seeing her again,and that feels terrible. Our beautiful home that we made together... though I hate it because its slowly bleeding all the life out of me... I miss it. I miss her. She annoys me no end, but I miss her. All day Sunday I struggled with the urge to call her - eventually she called me. I had to just make small talk for fear of bursting into tears. Today, I really should be looking for a place to rent, but I can't get the courage. If I do, it will truly be over.

How many episodes this time? More an 13 I hope, but then again, the pacing was just about right for Season 2 and the writing was amazing. Best show since BSG and Terminator ended.

IT STILL KEEPS FORGETTING WHO I AM! Who am I?! Is this my CHAIR?

WHY HAS EVERYTHING CHANGED?! wHY ARE people STILL GEttING OLDER?! HApppy birthdAy!

I think it's supposed to be 10-20% but I got that from Curb Your Enthusiasm, so don't consider it a valid benchmark. Also, when I went to Raleigh I don't think I tipped. I just had to hit the girls with my sexy RP accent and they went all gooey. "oh, I love your accent!" "well, you have beautiful hands." "wow, my hands... Really? You think so? I mean they're my hands, so I oh... " "hush your mouth, my colonial beauty, unless you wish me to stop your lips with a kiss?" "I, uh, I ..." *melt* Anyway, don't listen to me, I've not had my evening brandy yet. Tip what you feel is appropriate, or ask someone when you get there.

I feel terrifically sorry for doctors, they have to look at my poo. That's not something I would wish upon my worst enemy.

I have the weirdest boner right now... Same thing happened to me yesterday with my white Esprit Tee - I got Bolognese all over me and I was incredibly sad because I had originally intended to put the Bolognese in my mouth.

Well, I ballsed it up in the end: I decided not to spoil the weekend and try my best. Then we got home and I asked for a divorce... Frankly, I didn't expect all that crying. So I told her she had a choice to make: learn to respect me, return my salary card to me and sell the house to move somewhere cheaper. She said "I'll try" on the first one and "no" on the last two. So we are in limbo. She says she really loves me, but the money and the house are obviously of equal or greater importance.

Your delivery came pretty quickly... I mean, you said 3-5 days and it was there in 2... y'know I think people deserve a little praise for going the extra mile.

You want to be careful with fans. I ordered a fan from eBay and it was just this guy following me around going "IUUUUUUUUUNNNNN! Fuck YEAH!"

Well, we're off for the weekend for our Anniversary. It would be pretty class-less of me to break up with her during the hotel stay... So that's precisely what I'm going to do. Maximum impact, maximum damage.

Is that the Stairway to Heaven?

Well, goodness gracious me.... RIP. Shocking. A terrible loss. Some might even say it's a.... ...TRAGEDY.

Love's unkind... RIP

Put it this way: I arrive at work at 8am, leave at 4:30pm and I am usually lucky to get 10 minutes to eat my lunch.

Thanks. No, her son is an important part of her life, and I have done my best to respect that. I don't like the kid, but it's not really his fault and I have tried my absolute best to get on with him. From her side... She would probably say she has been over-generous and compromised too much. In Shanghai, the woman has control of the finances, final say in all decisions and expects to have at minimum a house bought for her before she will commit to marriage. She also will not cook or clean the house - that is the responsibility of the man. The only one I don't completely fulfil is the house thing, as we bought that together. We also have a housemaid who comes and cooks five nights a week. But when she is not here, I do the household tasks. It's perhaps relevant to point out that in the last year we have had five domestic helpers who have left our service. All of them decided to leave as they did not like the rude and dictatorial tone Mrs Iun took with them. Whenever there has been a conflict, it has been my responsibility to smooth things out. All who have left have said to me "Sir, you we're always very polite to me" all of them. And Shanghainese wives get all riled up when their husband finds a mistress from an entirely different part of China.... Chinese tradition should not be taken as the benchmark for behaviour: "How We Do Things In China" is a completely subjective statement. Case in point, when I handed over my salary card to my wife it was "because that's how we do things". Going out with a friend who is married to a local, I remarked that he, for some bizarre reason, seemed to have a credit card and several bank cards in his wallet. I asked why he had so much and he hadn't given it to his wife as per tradition and he laughed. A week later we went out and he had nothing in his wallet: his wife had decided my wife was right and that was "how we do things". There are countless other examples, each more hypocritical than the last. I do have a separate bank account, but it's useless when she has spent money before earned or more than we have. Like I said, I slogged my guts out these last months to have some semblance of savings for a rainy day. My wife can always find a way to ensure it rains. I used to be entirely honest with her about money: "How much do you have?" "5000 RMB" "Good, because I bought a new phone that cost 5000 RMB, can you pay for it?" Now I simply refuse to answer or tell her less, in anticipation of the fact that she will spend more.

Thanks guys, I appreciate the sentiments. The thing is, I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to see her cry, I don't want her dreams to be shattered. But I want to feel alive again, instead of lurching from payday to payday in silent prayer for relief.

It never rains, but it pours. Many of you may remember the occasional bitching I do about Mrs Iun. Well, here goes: I want a divorce. I am way, way past sorry and have been way, way past sorry for about 3 months now. It's all about money, naturally. But the money has shown the side of her that I never knew about before marriage, the "Fuck eating food, I want my friends to think I'm rich" side that involves spending wads of cash on the car, expensive holidays and the house. Ah, the house. We had to buy a house to get married, that's Chinese Culture. No house = No marriage. End of. So, we bought a house. Full credit to her, she pitched in, and that is NOT traditional. Bu then again, had she not used her money for the deposit, we would have had no cjhance. So we both paid. I paid more, being as I had more. She paid for the decorating. When we bought the house, I was paying about 750 GBY a month for the mortgage. But due to the Chinese government not being able to find its arse with both hands, the interest rates have been steadily rising so that in three years, my mortgage has risen to 900 GBP - just under half of my salary. Madame buys the food, fills up the car. But everything else - EVERYTHING is on me. When "we" had to pay 50,000 RMB in tax within nine months on the house, it was yours truly that went to work seven days a week, twelve hours a day to make sure we could. When the developer "accidentally" built more floor space into the communal areas of the house it was me that had to pay, effectively wiping out everything I had earned to pay the tax and start over. Then we had all sorts of additional costs for decorating, the car my medical insurance etc... ...9 months of working 7 days a week turned into 18 months. All I got for that was "It's your responsibility, you should work more." So work I did. After nearly collapsing last year due to overwork, I was finally permitted to slow down. Only problem being that the financial constraints have not taken any kind of commensurate reduction. We're still in the same hole - every month I put 500 GBP in the bank, and within two months something comes up - car tax, MOT, my medical insurance, her life insurance, university fees or car insurance. We go back to square one every few months. So these last few pay days I have been scraping what little I am permitted together to try and have some money in the bank just in case I need it for whatever - My computer at home has been dying a slow death, I could really do with new glasses and I would have liked to take us on a holiday. Then madame decides to spend all our savings on a new paint job and unneccessary accessories for the car. It wipes out all our money and next month, when I have to pay 12,000 RMB for my medical insurance, it's going to take all of my nest egg, plus money I haven't even earned yet. For months now, I have been living on travel money for work and about... 20 GBP. The terrrible thing is, I earn quite a lot of money for China. Without the house, our with a cheaper house, life would be a whole lot easier. A few weeks ago she started cracking on about holidays, the wedding anniversary and her birthday -how much had I saved, why had I not saved more, did I save so little money because I hated her and didn't want to go on holiday with her and give her a nice life? Thing is, I've busted my balls to even survive this past year and ... that. Just feels so wrong. Last year we went to the UK, my doctor here told me to get some rest - it was just after my cancer scare and I was looking forward to taking it easy. But no, as soon as we arrived, we had to be going somewhere or doing something - if we weren't travelling to a place or shopping we were "wasting time and money" in a two week holiday, I got three days of rest. And she begrudged me those. I'm just sick of it, this isn't life, not the way I want it. I begged her to let us sell the house and move somewhere more affordable, but no: "If we move out of the city my friends will think we are poor, and I couldn't stand that." 1) The house is making us poor. 2) Your friends aren't paying the fucking mortgage. It dawned on me that the house, not me, was number one priority. We had an argument a few weeks ago, and her first response was "If we divorce, I'm getting the house, not you!" Which then turned into "If we divorce, I will make my parents sell their house to pay you off" when I pointed out the logical fallacy of taking away a jointly-invested property. All I wanted was to be number one in her life, but no... the house, her parents, her son, what her friends think.... and then me. I've been out with my friends twice this year... both times I could only do it because I won a competition for free food. I'm sick to my heart of this.

All my DVDs, with the exception of my two Iron Man exclusives are walleted, all movies here cost about £1 and come with a greasy plastic sheath with a paper insert, so there's no point in keeping the packaging though.

I get the impression most modern soothing schedules are 90 days or less, so that's three months of physical labour for cast and crew, then they go to pick ups, second unit etc. post production seems to be the lengthiest process these days.

Well, you're in tune with them, it was in an article last week!

Did you have that thought after reading IGN?