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Fuck me, that's a clean kitchen... If I didn't already know, I'd say you were totally into boys. Seriously, HOW do you get a kitchen that clean?

Strangely enough, I really enjoyed the Cap film. Normally I find him such a bland character - too good and righteous to be palatable. But Chris Evans imbued him with pathos, vulnerability and humour.

I'll have to retire one day, and at least I know the place will be in good hands.

I love you guys to pieces, but I have to ask: why do you bother getting up in the morning when the world is clearly such a CONSTANT DISAPPOINTMENT to you? Personally, I thought Avengers was awesome, Thor was more like a TV movie and Iron Man should be called whatever the hell they like!

Well, I agree with you there. My dad used to rip the shit out of Henman back in the day, and I just used to say to him: he's one of the best tennis players in the world. He's never won anything big, but he has made more in his career of mediocre tennis than you ever have out of your career of excellent banking.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum. He's better than the players worse than him, not as good as the players better than him! :P

Consistently?

Poor you... it's a terrible thing.

No, Derpenheimer, my point is he lost to a better player. Everybody knocks Murray and says he hasn't got what it takes, well... that's been proven true. He can't beat the best when he needs to. But despite this, he gives his all. That's admirable. That's precisely what a sportsman should do. The sad thing is, his best isn't good enough to beat the top players consistently. And there is absolutely no shame in that.

There's no shame in being beaten by someone better than you, the only shame is in not giving it your all.

A mulberry bush is where those handbags grow.

WHAAAT? It was always "Half a pound of tupenny rice, half a pound of treacle, that's the way the money goes... pop! goes the weasel!" when I was a kid! What is it these days? "I'ma steal your ipad, mo'fo, I mean, shizzle my nizzle, give me all your money guv...pop goes the weasel!" Is that it?!

Pff, bet your galpal woul be happy if you ALWAYS came second... And yes, comiserations.

The. Cake. Is. A. Lie. Happy birthday, the noo'!

Oh, crap, how did I miss this? Props to you, Sam, props!

For sure! And, possibly the funniest picture ever:

I have the opposite feeling - I actually actively dislike Spider-Man as a character, but I enjoyed films 2 and 3.

Urgh... Old boss called for a favour earlier: new teacher was supposed to be going from Shenzhen to Wuxi tonight, but his flight got diverted to Shanghai. Because of a visa mix up he's been left with zero cash. Phil called me two hours ao to beg me to meet this guy at the airport... Now his flight has been delayed from 10:30 to midnight. I have agreed to go there, give him some money, ferry him to a hotel and get him hunkered down before directing him to the train station tomorrow morning. It's a hot, humid, sweaty evening here with a temperature of about 34 degrees and a nice summer storm brewing. All I wanted was a quiet evening. The upshot is, all the costs plus an extra £60 will be reimbursed. Bad news is I won't get it til Thursday at the earliest and I'm on short rations as it is. Oh, and the rented apartment I moved into on Monday has (a) no TV controller (b) only one working AC © a broken hot water heater.

GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! Also, I can't see what they are going to do with this. There will probably be some retconning and a MacGuffin that they magically need to save the dying planet etc. etc.

Drums? DRUMS! In. Control. Happy Birthday!

That is quite possibly the hottest dressing gown I have seen this side of Coronation Street. I didn't read the rest, mesmerised by the hotness. Something aout stroking a guy in an ambulance?

Alright, well, maybe not "kill" how about I do two maimings instead? Four GBHs? Sixteen saying something off colours in the middle of the high street?

Dude, man hugs! Tell us all about it? What the fuck happened? WHO DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL?!

"I noticed she was sitting on her sw-sw-sweet can..."

How should it end? Soon, and with an apology for every episode since 1999.