Iun

Ah... That was the ex-GF, the wife... Is.... Still around...sadly. Really, don't ask.

Bread has to go in the fridge in China, it goes mouldy far quicker than stale here - the humidity and heat in Shanghai are murder for food. The ExBitch once left a yoghurt out of the fridge for a few hours in high summer, she ate it and within 4 hours she had gastroenteritis. Eggs also go into the fridge for the same reason, but I have to admit... I don't like eggs. Something about the flavour and consistency of a fried egg makes me feel like I'm eating plastic human flesh... Weird, I know. But: bleugh.

British tongue-in-cheek humour, it demands respect.

Ooh, don't forget the extra £5.49 handling charge for cash. Seriously though, China is just full of scam artists: there was this massive one where people bought boxes of dirt and earthworms for £100 a box and the seller "promised" to come back in a year to take the boxes away and double their money. Something about using the soil in the boxes as high-grade agricultural fertiliser. People were cheated out of thousands of pounds, and the guy never came back. But honestly: deserved it. Then there was one from my own experience: Them: Hey you wanna job? Great money! 100% commission based helping expatriates in the Mediterranean manage their assets! You can make €3000 a month! Me: "Can" make, "more likely" live of baked beans and porridge. Them: No way man! People make so much money I have to TELL them to go one and stop making money at 5pm! But they don't want to! Because they're making so much money! Me: Or rather, they haven't made any money this week and if they can't score a few quid off some hapless expat twat, they'll be sleeping on a park bench before the week is out. Them: Let me lay my cards on the table; opportunities like this don't come round very often! Me: That's because by the time you've conned enough people into taking up the job, you're already out of business. And so on. Oh! And there's the "Tea Scam" here: A pair of "students" will approach you somewhere near People's Park or East Nanjing Road and ask you to take a picture. They start yammering on at you about how much the love the West and ask you to go to a "Traditional Tea Ceremony". You agree, then they take you to this ratty little tea house where you are served all these "ancient and famous" Chinese teas. Which are actually not ancient or famous. Then the bill comes, and it's £500. Your student friends, being students, immediately plead poverty and you are left to cough up. If you refuse, they put the hurt on you. Two sets of scammers actually tried that crap on me last Saturday within about 10 feet of each other.

Did no-one else look at that ceiling and think "This Toy Department Is Brought To You By The Umbrella Corporation"? Seriously, I'd expect families to be "mysteriously disappearing" there all the time.

Actually, if you give me £9.99 a month, I'll tell you about a fantastic opportunity...

Choux pastry, going to have a crack at it later. Anyone made it before?

You're allowed near children? <sigh> Rapture is here, everyone, world ending, cats and dogs living together, Jay taking care of the kids... everybody shuffle disconsolately to the prayer shelters we built, no lollygagging. How's tricks? Did you buy a wobble board yet?

Can't see YouTube in China, shall I assume that's surely an Airplane! reference?

I'm sure there are a few available in the UK if you look? I was genuinely thinking about getting one myself for the times on the metro when I'm desperate to check my email.

Way ahead of you *fling* "ook" I lost interest in the progress of the English language when the "LOL" acronym fell into common usage. It was annoying when people sent you emails ending with a "LOL" but when people started saying it instead of laughing, I had to just check out of the whole English language debate,

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/HUAWEI-E560-MOBILE-3G-HSPA-PORTABLE-WIFI-WIRELESS-MODEM-HOTSPOT-ROUTER-UNLOCKED-/160733247560?pt=UK_Computing_Wireless_Routers&hash=item256c72b848 Portable wifi hotspot, one of my staff members have one. Apparently they're good for up to 3hours.

True, some, for example, evolved into the Chinese Communist Party. And that's where the dead end came. This would be pretty cool, but has anyone considered the consequences of dinosaurs coming back to life? Whole wings of the museum would have to close, then fossil prices would drop like a stone! How in the hell would we pay off our mortgages then?! I'm certainly not going to earn any real cash by shaking down fruit trees. No, no. This has to stop otherwise I'll be in debt to that raccoon forever.

I've always thought that Jidderbug looks like the new Batmobile on ecstasy. And go for practicality every time, sorry.

Best of luck, El Flameo. Moving to another country is proper scary, but at least they speak the same language, eh! Have fun, buddy!

The point I'm making, is that unless you're from a particular state, then you have to earn the right to remain and be treated equal within that state. It's sad, but true.

Negatory. The fact is different countries have different standards - while we take it for granted that in the West schooling is free up to a certain age, that's just not the case in many industrializing and developing countries. So we, as non-naturalized citizens of a country where we move to, have to adapt to their values. And if one of their values is "no free education" then we are a bit stuffed. Just because our home government gives out free schooling, doesn't mean that we get it anywhere in the world.

This was a debate that started recently in China - why should foreigners be treated as citizens, or why should they be given citizenship. Basically the nationalists started bleating the "four legs good, two legs bad" line while the rest of the country shrugged its collective shoulders. Essentially, being born in a place gives you a divine right to benefit from education, social welfare and state security. Except in China, where the state schools are so bad that everyone is desperate to go private (and the government is trying hard to make life miserable for private schools) there is no such thing as unemployment benefit, pensions are sometimes cancelled without warning and the state can and does force abortions on women who have a second child as late as seven months into their term. Under those circumstances, why in the lazes would you want to naturalize? On the other hand, there are a number of benefits to be had in Britain such as the NHS and free schooling. By you have to ask the question: what can you do for the country to deserve it? In this soldiers' case, I think he has done enough to warrant it.

Sorry to hear that man, chin up and things will sort themselves out. To be honest, it's best to be rejected rather than have them give you the position because they are desperate and then a month down the line they say "Actually, you're so terrible we'd prefer no-one did the job." Which is PRECISELY what I've had to say to the last few teachers we've tried out.

...that sounds like a "rage quit" moment to me :/ I don't mind paying to play, but playing and then paying... Well I suppose if you are enjoying the game that much you would. Provided it didn't cost more than £30 throughout the entire duration of the game.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say that. Honestly speaking, if you have a gun and a clip with 12 rounds, you can probably kill 12 people. If you have a knife then the only limit is the strength of your arm and the strength of the people you are going for. A car with a full tank of petrol could easily help you run down 50 people. And as someone said, the chap used tear gas - he could have done an equal amount of damage with a knife in a crowded and confused situation.

Agreed. If they don't have a gun, they'll use a knife. If they don't intend to kill people while driving their car, they'll do it accidentally because they believe the rules of the road don't apply to them, or they just HAD to take that call on their mobile.

Happy birthday! Woo!

Whacked my head on the washing machine cupboard door earlier. Now I have a concussion. Ouch.