Magnus

Grown-up games.

They can have sex during the day? They don't need to tell him they're going to have sex? He should already be looking after the kid from time to time? Stop defending bad writing, Ashley. :p

Don't worry, I'm sure they'll improve the graphics for the next version of the game.

I had no idea if it was safe to click on your 'Developer' spoiler. Who's The Developer? Is that a spoiler? Is he referring to something from the comic books? Nope, turns out you just think TV shows are video games.

I think you should stop sleeping with any woman who propositions you. You're going to catch something.

I can't believe this is getting worse scores than Super Paper Mario. Does the game set your 3DS on fire or something?

I guess at your age any new Nintendo console could be your last, so it makes sense to be excited.

No Wii U in Murr's new game room any time soon!

I'm sure they could have had just one of their developers work on the game, but then we wouldn't be playing it until this time next year.

It could be worse. They could have reused the same level.

Great, now we'll never know if Peeps's prediction would have come true! On the plus side, now Diego doesn't have to ask. :p

Where did you bury the body?

So then we agree that this will be awful if it plays anything like Castle of Illusion.

Oh, so that's why you'd rather work for them. Can't say I blame you, to be fair! :p

No more free trips to New York!

Ugh, Castle of Illusion is so bland. I'm really hoping they're only trying to cash in on nostalgia with the name and that this game will be more interesting.

If your game is guaranteed to sell a lot, they let you have prettier graphics, I think.

Happy birthday to that one guy and that other guy.

I like Mario Kart. They should make it more like that.

No, I haven't tried the co-op mode and probably wouldn't be able to play it anyway for various reasons. I guess you'll have to play it for the achievements, though! I hear it's largely forgettable but entertaining enough to go through once, so it shouldn't be too much trouble assuming you can find someone to play with. I got that you're a patient gamer when you played through Dishonored without powers on your first playthrough, so Rage shouldn't have been a problem for you. Meanwhile I was all, "aaah stop talking stop talking okay buy ammunition aaaah stop talking just give me my next mission aaaah why do I have to drive so far every time drive faster drive faster oh man this mission is kind of boring." Ah, well. It's an alright game, I guess. It just fails to stand out. It's like Id is ten years behind the curve at this point.

Nah, I'll just wait until I'm in a stable relationship and rub your noses in it. :p

The place that bugged me so much was just after you entered the canyon where you fight the mutants/bandits who wear yellow and come down on zip-lines. Rage is really linear so the invisible walls around the game space doesn't matter, but the loot, man! The loot! I hit upon so many invisible walls while looking for loot. It was a case of, "I wonder if I can jump over that box to reach the loot?", but the answer was usually no and I had to go around. Except when there was no other way to get to the loot, in which case I had to jump over the box. I've read about missables in the game, and I'm glad I don't care about any of that stuff. I heard that one guy in a garage or something just ups and leaves at some point, taking a sidequest with him and leaving the collectible in the garage unreachable. Things like that are always fun. I actually completely forgot about the job board after accepting one mission from it, but it's probably just as well, since I hate going through the same areas several times. I also think I missed some minor sidequest given out by NPCs, because there's no way of knowing when they have anything interesting to say. Most of the time they just stare at you. Except shop owners, who always have to welcome you to their shop before you're allowed to buy anything. And while I'm complaining about NPCs, I hate the way you're allowed to move around while they're talking, but they'll stop (and never say the same thing again for the rest of their lives) if you walk three feet away. It's like they're thinking, "oh well, I guess he's more interested in trying to get on top of that box than listening to me." And the subtitles always get mixed with the subtitles for the announcements in the background, which makes it hard to follow what people are saying. Though neither of these issues would have been so bad if I'd cared even slightly about what was going on. The character textures were always fine for me, but I assume doesn't happen on consoles, then. To be fair, I never bothered to see if they ever patched it, so maybe they did. If there's a patch that fixes the issue, just pretend I played the game on day one. :p