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jayseven

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Everything posted by jayseven

  1. jayseven
    is this an internet thing, or on the radio, or something your postman says to you or what? CONTEXT.
  2. jayseven
    .... what? Context, PLEASE.
  3. jayseven
    Alright, well have a gander
  4. jayseven
    Alright. I've written two parts so far, each is about 700 words long. This is probably going to be my coursework, it will need to be 4,500 words long so I suppose there ought to be seven parts in total...
  5. jayseven
    ah well i have a very suspicious mind :P Starting stuff is always difficult. Sometimes it's good just to write a chapter title in your head, or just write down the mid-point of the chapter, or ayn point that you know you want to cover, then go back to the start and edit it. it wasn't a bad 'but' at all Sounds like it'll be time for recruiting similar minded people soon? That'll be ace. I've got 1,500 words of the beginning of a story that i might put up -- maybe in two sections. There's no dialogue at all yet though Reckon you'll be up for a revenge-crit? :P
  6. jayseven
    I hate to say it, but I literally cringed at this. It's too clichéd, too repetitive! Almost put me off reading the rest :P It feels like you were tagging the same thing but in different words onto the end of the phrases in order to lengthen it. "She could now feel her body there" is unnecessary. You can just jump from "limb by limb" to her next action and the reader will fill in the blanks. The princess' back-story is told well - your dialogue always works competently, but it was a bit of a shock that she wanted to get back to the throne. I don't really think there's any need to add to it, it's just you have a lot of unnecessary stuff in there that you can scrap and still have the same atmosphere and the same story You can be more subtle with her vision, perhaps make the reader wonder what's going on for a bit longer. Strangely for much of the way through, I had a sense that despite the princess leaving laura's stuff, she was not to be trusted... Also from your descriptions it's hard to know exactly what to imagine when trying to picture the room she is in. Each object you describe will help give the reader a sense of the rest of the room. If you describe an elaborately designed lamp or a wardrobe with doors hanging off the hinges, it instantly starts adding boundaries and limitations to what the reader ought to be thinking of. What does the room smell like? Sound like? Alright, that's enough mean-ness from me...
  7. jayseven
    Hey Flink/Beemonk, if i'm ever in either of those areas at the same time as either of you, fancy a pint? Flink you'll probably be back in Newport over xmas right?
  8. jayseven
    Kemp town's the gay capital of the gay capital of europe... My grandparents live in newport. Been there loads of times and I know what you mean :P But I love the welsh accent so if any chav talks shit to me, i still find them adorable!
  9. jayseven
    Haggis you're going to have to make you're own thread at some point. Jesus. Well if karma's real, dude you're going to be RAKING it in when you're older.
  10. jayseven
    how about DL comes BACK TO LIFE and goes through the wall with Ted who also comes BACK TO LIFE and nukes a big hole between the two down to some sewers where Nathan flies out and grabs them both and flies down to the us border and throws them at sylar! Best episode ever. .. On that idea, what do you think would be the most amazing episode?
  11. jayseven
    How's about you shush before I get some of my mates from Kemp town -- or whitehawk - to give you a visit. *hoping you know their reputations*
  12. jayseven
    oooh, flinky, saying it's femenine to cry? Controversial.
  13. jayseven
    Used to be a big fan of going out back home in brighton because of the great selection of places to go. Problem is i can't see too well in teh dark so navigating dark pubs/clubs full of really drunk people results in a spilling average of about 10 drinks per night. Also I can't hear so great, so I either can't hear what others say, or talk waaay too loud. I guess I'm definitely a drinker :P When I dance I have to be unafraid, becaues I dance like an idiot. Usually I'll dance for about 2 minutes then just stop and stand there pulling faces and feeling embarassed.
  14. jayseven
    .. as Killthenet points out, I got muddled :P I think they played in brixton over the summer as they're touring US now. So plenty of time to build up some anticipation then
  15. jayseven
    You just seen them on their tour then? I heard a bit of their gig, and i've heard a few tracks but to be honest... not my cup of tea right now. Too indie.
  16. jayseven
    nope :P It's been a few years since I read the books so the film can be viewed as a film, too. Shorty just gave me a bunch of books that he rates highly, and would mention if he came in here; Girlfriend in a Coma by Douglas Coupland Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold Snow Falling on Cedars David Guterson Atonement by Ian McEwan. Only read the Cement Garden by Mcewan before. can't remember if I mentioned The Secret History by Donna Tartt, but that's another of the books he recommended me before and it was a good read.
  17. jayseven
    You guys all suck and have already failed. You're supposed to say "What secrets? I have no idea what you are talking about."
  18. jayseven
    When I watched episode 10, I had already heard a few people saying this episode was poo... Well I thoroughly enjoyed it. Lots of cool stuff, save the hiro-not-just-talking-to-peter bit. We just had three ace episodes on the trot :/
  19. jayseven
    "The thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die." - Søren Kierkegaard
  20. jayseven
    Good for you Coolness Bears. I've done maybe 250 words on my essay on Godot... that's a tenth down... I still have 12 points to talk about but I keep freaking out - due in on friday. Got a deadline tomorrow to hand in some short stories I've done so far... not an official deadline, but we're going to have to read something out in class and the only story I've done so far I just do not want to read it out. It's practically perfect and they won't understand it :P
  21. jayseven
    Couldn't pin it down? Never seen saturday night fever? Then maybe you should do some of that research... Be nice to me :P I'm the only person who's replied and I'm being critical to help. I meant that you did not mention many pan shots in the storyboard, and I asked why this was. If you have a reason then say so! As for feeling sympathy for Conrad, do you mean in how the camera is situated and everything? Or just the story? The twist at the end was good, but does that mean he was staggering as he walked to the grave in the first place? Clearly there was a time gap between her death and her burial, why did Conrad not go see him sooner? These aren't significant points. The story itself, while a little... cliche... is gripping enough. I don't get whether you want me to talk about the story element, the camera element or what.
  22. jayseven
    Didn't you say you borrowed the opening? :P There's a lot of openings like that. Perhaps chuck their names in (like Saturday Night Fever) and say what impact those had on the audience (made character look cool), and that you wanted to do the same thing differently, or whatever. The coin-flickey bit (even though it seemed a little weird that this guy had two security guards outside and shit) is in splinter cell, and i'm sure i've seen people throw things to cause a distraction - for some reason Crocodile Dundee is all that comes to mind. Maybe you're supposed to 'research' what the effect of slow motion is, and why you chose to have flashes (to help the viewer keep up with the tense?) - why you chose to use the methods that you did. Say some bullshit about close-ups accentuating the character's emotions and stuff like that. You didn't mention many panning effects, so i guess it's all cuts. Why?
  23. jayseven
    ah, she's probably being saying them as hints anyway :P
  24. jayseven
    FOr some bizarre reason unknown to me, Woof was teh only program me and my sister would ever agree on watching. Aquila, anyone? Knightmare? Crystal Maze, hell, Transworld Gold... but that might just be me. Bit after my allowed children's-tv-years, but Bernard's Watch was legendary.
  25. jayseven
    That's what I thought... I've had around 6 hours sleep the last two nights. Spent about 5 hours in the library checking out journals for my essay, and today I've got to go through these three books to finish up herding quotes, then I'll squeeze a plan out and... then start work on another short story. Let's hope it's all done in time. Spoke to a couple of other people on my course who haven't even started the essay yet, so I think i'm doing well.
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